Family friendly title that turns out to be comedic/erotic. There is an mpreg JOKE! Mpreg is icky and not contained in my stories, but it's funny to think of Arthur's face when Merlin talks about it.


When he walked into his room to find his clothes folding themselves and putting themselves away, Arthur gaped. "What the hell is this?"

There was a gasp and the clothes dropped themselves. Arthur could see a pair of feet sticking out from underneath his bed. "Merlin? That can't be you!"

A groan emerged and Merlin crawled out, looking sheepish. His tone had a nervous cheery note to it as he said, "Just chasing a boot down, not lurking under your bed. Actually, I was just about to go-"

"Nowhere." Arthur said firmly, and he looked out in the hallway to check for witnesses before he closed his door and latched it. "Sit."

Merlin looked meek as he sat at the table and Arthur pulled a chair out to face him. "Anything you'd like to say?" Arthur asked.

"Just that I thought your training would take a lot longer than that." Merlin said, and he wouldn't meet Arthur's eyes.

"I kept refusing to believe that it was you!" Arthur said, and he sounded...almost annoyed. That was a far milder reaction than Merlin had expected.

"That what was me?"

"The 'Friendly Castle Sorcerer'!" Arthur declared, his teeth gritted.

"The what?" It was Merlin's turn to gape. When a slow smile started, Arthur stopped it with a glare.

"Don't you dare laugh at me. I've been suspecting for a while now, to the point of near paranoia, that there was a sorcerer in the castle. And it's you!" Arthur gestured at Merlin disbelievingly, as if the answer of the universe had been revealed and it had made no sense at all.

"Forty-two." Merlin said.

"What? Forty-two what?"

"I don't know, I just felt it needed to be said." Merlin stated innocently.

"Don't play with me, Merlin, you've got a lot of explaining to do. I might just have to put you in the stocks out of pure malice." Arthur said. Merlin was becoming more and more undone at Arthur's reaction.

"You're not going to execute me?" Merlin asked hopefully.

"Only if I get to do the honor!" Arthur said, making a choking gesture towards Merlin's neck. Frustration was written all over him, and for some strange reason, it made Merlin almost eager to tell him everything. He knew this was going to be an unpleasant conversation, but everything was going better than expected so far.

"So do you want to tell me about the 'Friendly Castle Sorcerer'?" Merlin asked, sounding interested. "I'm curious as to how much you've put together."

"You don't get to ask the questions!" Arthur raged. "You've been lying to me since we first met!"

"Well, if you do recall, when we first met I did say I could take you apart with less than a swing and that you had no idea. I considered those my disclaimers."

"Are those threats?" Arthur asked, and his tone indicated that Merlin was making him more angry, and/or that his true anger was being repressed. This was serious.

"They were then, before I knew you. They never could be now." Merlin said, retreating into his "meek mode" as he tried to do when Arthur was having a seriously bad day.

"And I knew!" Arthur fumed. He was back to annoyed. This was getting dangerously interesting in the range of reactions that Arthur was displaying/hiding.

"You knew?" Merlin asked, hoping to prompt Arthur to explain rather than make Merlin talk first.

"I knew that the 'Friendly Castle Sorcerer' didn't want me dead, or my father. Hence 'Friendly'. In fact, the FCS was watching out for both of us on a fairly constant basis. Hence 'Castle'. The FCS was using their magic for good. Hence, the name." Arthur said. "Your turn. Why did you come to Camelot?"

"You've been to my village. It wasn't big enough for me to hide in." Merlin shrugged.

"And why were you hiding?" Arthur demanded. Merlin gave him a very confused look and Arthur groaned. "What I meant to ask is how long have you been hiding?"

"Oh. Well, I was just born this way, so I've actually had lots of time to practice my secrecy as well as my sorcery. Although once I met you it got harder."


"Ah, that does require some...rather delicate topics...possibly upsetting...just so you know..." Merlin said, giving Arthur a pointed look.

"Go on."

"Just making sure, since you missed the disclaimers of our first encounters." Merlin said in a manner that indicated Arthur's statement absolved him from the coming outbursts. "You're my destiny."

That resulted in another interesting reaction. Arthur blushed. "I'm your what?"

"My destiny. I was told that our destinies were joined, and that I was destined to help you become a great king." Merlin explained. He felt remarkably calm and observant when he should be a nervous wreck who was losing their wits.

"Oh." Disappointment. "Any other huge revelations about my future that I might want to know?" And he was back to being irritated.

"Um, you're meant to restore magic to the kingdom." Merlin offered.

"Yes, I had planned that already. Especially now. Anything else?"

"Nope, nothing comes to mind, I should really get to mucking out your stables-" Merlin rose from his seat.

"Merlin." Arthur's calm use of his name made him re-seat himself. "We're going to talk. Considering that our destinies are entwined, I think we're way past over-due for a conversation."

"Okay." Merlin agreed.

"And we need to be truthful." Arthur added.

"Aside from a few minor details and some deep soul-wrenching secrets, this mostly clears the air between us." Merlin said lightly.

"I'm serious."

"And I'm not?"

"What's your deep soul-wrenching secret if it isn't the fact that you do magic?"

"If I told you, my soul would be wrenched to the core, I would drown in misery, and we'd never finish the conversation about magic, so let's tackle that first." Merlin suggested.

Arthur frowned. "You make me want to threaten to kill you just to get you to take this seriously."

"But the fact that you haven't makes me light-hearted and light-headed with relief." Merlin said.

"This conversation is going nowhere. Merlin, stop dodging. Can't you give me a goddamn straight answer?"

"Not when I'm as gay as springtime." Merlin countered.

Arthur hissed with restrained frustration. "MERLIN! You have magic! You use it to save my life and do chores! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Gaius asks me that almost constantly." Merlin shrugged.

"Of course Gaius knows." Arthur drawled. "He's only my father's most trusted friend!"

"Aren't you your father's most trusted knight?" Merlin countered. "Why haven't you called in the guards?"

"If this will clear the air and make you speak normally, I'm not calling in the guards. Not ever. My father can never know."

"Why? Do you know about our destiny more than me, or is there another reason?" Merlin asked.

"Merlin, I'm not going to cooperate as long as you won't."

"So what question is most pressing in your mind?"

Arthur paused and considered. "How does the destiny thing make you feel? Doesn't it worry you?"

"Arthur, you've given me heart attacks. In fact, you've made me have kittens. I'm always concerned."

"No, not just the fact that you need to protect me, which by the way is just as true about me for you. I meant the fact that you're doing a ton of work to help me become king. Don't you feel, I don't know, cheated?" Arthur asked.

"Uh, not really. Firstly, while keeping you alive is a great deal like work, I can't think of anything I'd like to do more. And I wouldn't become king if you danced around in your small clothes."

" don't mind that we're...supposed to be together for life?" Arthur asked, and his quiet voice and averted eyes spoke volumes about his discomfort at addressing this.

Arthur's responses made a bit more sense if Merlin considered this question and factored it in with the rest of his observations. In fact, it actually made his heart leap into his throat with anxiety when he came to the conclusion that he had never dared to hope for. Time for a calculated risk. Actually, time for a blind shot in the dark, but who cares?

"There's nobody I'd rather have by my side for the rest of eternity." Merlin said, his smile small and his face serious. Arthur inhaled deeply. Then Merlin added, "I thought it had been obvious this whole time."

"What, the sorcery? Our friendship?" Arthur asked.

"My love." Merlin said. "I thought it was painfully obvious this whole time to everyone close to you that I'm in love with you." There. It was said. Arthur would dance around forever, so it was Merlin's turn to be brave. Actually, that happened a good deal anyway.

Arthur stayed quiet for a moment then spoke. "You love me? You're in love with me?"

"Yes, I am." Merlin said clearly.

"Thank God." Arthur sighed.

"You can't say it?" Merlin asked, raising an eyebrow in inquisition.

"Say what?" Arthur hedged.

"You can't say it." Merlin concluded. "I can wait."

Frowning, Arthur coughed. "Anyway, I have dinner with Father and Morgana tonight, so I'll be back in a bit. I hope you'll still be around. I'd like to talk more."

Merlin grinned. "I hadn't finished my chores, so that works."

As Arthur turned to leave, Merlin paused him by saying, "So you aren't sacking me?" Arthur glared. "Hey, you said you weren't killing me, but you never mentioned sacking, so I figured it was still up in the air."


Arthur returned to his chambers and didn't see Merlin. He exhaled in a sigh. "Well, I couldn't exactly order him to stay put. That isn't how I want things to be. I'll see him tomorrow." he told himself.

He had just changed into his nightclothes when Merlin came into the room. "Sorry, Arthur, I was starving. I went to get food and got caught up talking to Nick in the kitchens about his new baby."

"Why would you do that?" Arthur wondered.

Merlin looked puzzled. "He's excited, she's his first child. I could tell something good had happened, with the way he was grinning. So I asked and he was telling me all about her."

Arthur just stared at Merlin for a moment. "You're so friendly, Merlin. I picked my nickname wisely."

"So, you were saying we could talk some more?" Merlin prompted.

"Uh...yeah." Arthur said, sitting down on his bed.

"About...?" Merlin prompted again.

"I-I don't know." Arthur admitted. "I just didn't want to come back and you not be here."

Merlin felt a smile tugging on his lips, but he tried to stifle it in case Arthur took offense. Arthur was adorable when he was nervous. " about we talk about what we do now?"

"Oh, well I figured you've kept it from my father this long, and now you have me to help you, so we should be able to hide you until he dies."

Merlin felt like he had been slapped. "Hide me? I tell you I love you and you want to hide me for being gay? There's nothing wrong with me, Arthur."

As soon as Merlin spat out his first sentence, Arthur's head had snapped up in alarm. "No, Merlin, I meant your magic! And there's nothing wrong with that either." Arthur reassured him, because Merlin looked livid. Arthur stood up and put his hands on Merlin's shoulders in what he hoped was a calming gesture. He squeezed gently, and Merlin took a slow breath.

"Oh...okay." Merlin said, seeming a bit embarrassed at his outburst. Now it was he who wouldn't meet Arthur's eyes.

Arthur tilted Merlin's head up by the chin, but Merlin still avoided his gaze. Arthur's eyes fell to Merlin's lips, and he made a decision. He pressed his lips softly against Merlin's and when Merlin gasped he couldn't help but delve his tongue in, just a little bit. He let out a soft groan as he pulled away. But then Merlin pulled him back in, almost smashing their mouths together in his fervor. And when Arthur went to get in Merlin's mouth, Merlin's tongue plunged into his.

Arthur couldn't lie anymore, not to himself at least, not about this. The eagerness Merlin was currently utilizing to plunder his mouth made him very aroused. He had never known Merlin had wanted this. God, so many times he had held himself back, or explained away what he was feeling and Merlin would have eagerly received his attentions.

Merlin pulled back abruptly, fear in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Arthur! I just-God!"

"Merlin, I started it, it's fine."

"But I just...I didn't even ask." Merlin said. He sounded ashamed.

Arthur let out a quiet chuckle. "Merlin, you don't have to ask, especially if someone just kissed you first."

"I don't...I don't do this...much." Merlin admitted.

And a beast emerged from Arthur. If anything about Merlin's personality could be blamed for turning him on, it was his innocence. Arthur felt like hunting. He was some exotic jungle cat and Merlin was a tender little lamb for him to snack on. He reigned himself in a bit, he did care about Merlin, he wasn't going to be just a quick fuck. But if Merlin would give, Arthur would take. Still, Arthur met Merlin's eyes and slowly circled behind him. He moved his lips close to Merlin's ear, and whispered, "I liked what I tasted."

Merlin shivered, and Arthur took Merlin's earlobe into his mouth, sucking and nibbling gently. Merlin let out a moan and his back arched a little. "A-Arthur." Merlin whimpered. Arthur relinquished his earlobe and moved so they no longer touched. Merlin groaned and leaned back into Arthur's chest, re-initiating contact. "Arthur-I don't know if I should-"

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin and he moved his hands over Merlin's. He guided Merlin's hand, gently moving across his chest. Warm moans poured out of Merlin as Arthur slid their hands lower, hovering just above the waistline for a minute, teasing, before he cupped Merlin's hand around the bulge in Merlin's pants. And that whimper, that utter helpless plea that came forth from that beautiful mouth tore Arthur inside. He shuddered as he pressed closer in against Merlin's back, his own hard length rubbing at Merlin's backside.

"Arthur!" Merlin yelped.

Arthur moved Merlin's hand to make him stroke himself, reveling in the way Merlin gasped and arched into it. "I've wanted to touch you this way for so long, but it would seem you're touching yourself." Arthur breathed into Merlin's ear, and he took his hand away, only to have Merlin snatch it back and place it where Merlin's hand had been. Now Merlin guided Arthur's hand up and down, moaning lazily as Arthur started moving on his own.

"Arthur...oh, God." Merlin groaned. Arthur's hand left Merlin's length, eliciting another delicious whimper, and moved up to the waist of his trousers. Arthur slid his hand in slowly, and when he met Merlin's length, he grasped it. He rubbed the tip slowly, smoothing the slight wetness all over the head. Merlin let out a cry that was almost a sob. It was raw and needy. "Arthur, please." Merlin asked quietly. It was almost like a whispered prayer.

"My little Merlin, my beautiful, beautiful Merlin." Arthur purred. "What are you asking for?"

"Anything." Merlin said. "I'll take whatever you want to give."

That made Arthur pause. "And if I gave you love? What if I wanted to make love to you? Press into you and tease and stroke and thrust until you were a gibbering fool."

"I would take it. Anything. I love you, Arthur. I-I'm yours." Merlin said, and he turned to meet Arthur's eyes. Merlin's eyes were full of his love and trust, and it made the predator in Arthur quail for some reason.

"Oh, God, Merlin, I've wanted this for so long. Even when I was telling myself I didn't, I ached for this, right here, with you." Arthur felt his tender side taking over. "Did you know I've had dreams like this?" Arthur asked in a whisper. "You're so hot and hard and warm and waiting that I ache and tremble until I'm sure I'll fly apart."

"Arthur, I need this. I need you." Merlin replied. "I don't want to wait anymore."

Arthur groaned and rubbed himself against Merlin. "But we've got so much time, Merlin. I can tease you until you're begging for me to finish you, give you your release. You could teeter there on the edge for so long that your sanity starts to break. But I wouldn't let it happen. I'll give you what you need, Merlin. Always."

"I love you. Please."

Arthur didn't reply, but instead tugged the hem of Merlin's shirt upwards. He got it over Merlin's head and then pulled it off of his arms. "Oh, I see skin." Arthur said, and he turned Merlin and made him lay on the bed. Then Arthur started to explore that pale skin, his lips pressing and brushing their way towards a darker nipple. He took that in his mouth until it stood in proud contrast from the rest of Merlin's skin. Merlin whined and moved his chest up towards Arthur's mouth, silently pleading for more. Arthur gave the other nipple similar treatment, and to much the same effect.

Arthur paused to remove his own shirt. Then he asked, "Can I see you, Merlin? Do you want that?"

"I told you, Arthur! Anything!" Merlin said, sounding so eager that Arthur felt his cock twitch in anticipation.

Arthur moved Merlin's hands up into the pillows near his head. "Keep them there." Arthur instructed.

Merlin nodded as Arthur went down to remove his pants, and when they were gone, he sat back on his heels and looked at Merlin. He was beautiful. Breathing deeply, biting his lip, hands twisting into the pillows. Merlin's eyes flashed gold as Arthur met them. Merlin watched Arthur watch, and he saw the appreciation in his eyes. As Arthur watched, his eyes almost stroking Merlin's cock, he murmured, "God, I love you so much." and Merlin trembled. At first Arthur thought it was just arousal, but when Merlin shuddered and cried out, eyes flashing gold again, his cock erupting and his body arching upward, Arthur realized that Merlin was using magic.

As Merlin stopped spurting, and started to calm, he looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, Arthur. But the way you were watching-And I felt it! I could feel your eyes touching me. And then you said-I'm sorry."

Arthur smiled. "But you were just using magic, Merlin. Where did you learn a spell like that, and when did you practice?"

"Spell? I didn't cast a spell." Merlin protested.

"You did something." Arthur insisted. "Your eyes flashed gold."

"This is embarrassing." Merlin said, and his cheeks were bright red.

"Don't be sorry, Merlin, and don't be embarrassed. You gave us just what we needed." Arthur said, running a hand from Merlin's thigh to his ribcage.

"What's that?"

Arthur put two fingers in the seed on Merlin's stomach. "Lubrication." he replied, swirling it around.

Merlin looked entranced as he watched Arthur's seed-covered fingers delve in between his spread legs. Merlin spread them wider, and he felt Arthur's fingers probing for his entrance. When Arthur found it and gently pushed, Merlin whined and he could feel his arousal returning.

"This might hurt, at first." Arthur warned. "But I love you, Merlin, and I'll be as careful as I can."

Merlin nodded as Arthur's first finger pushed past his puckered anus and into him, an intrusion that made Merlin feel very strange. It wasn't too painful, just...odd. Arthur pushed it in all the way, and Merlin began to feel more discomfort. A second finger pushed in, and Merlin gasped in pain.

"It'll be okay, Merlin. God, you're so tight. You're almost sucking me in." Arthur told him, and Merlin whimpered.

"Don't say that!" he protested.

"It's a compliment. When my cock is finally buried inside you, it's going to take everything to not hurt you by starting too soon. But I promise, I'll control myself. I don't want you hurting more than necessary."

"Just put it in." Merlin whined.

"Calm down. I'm eager too. If I get much harder I might just never stop fucking you."

"Oh!" Merlin said, and he glanced down Arthur to his pants, tight and restricting. "I should have-"

"Merlin, no. It's all that's been keeping me from humping you like some sex-crazed dog. The discomfort is grounding." Arthur insisted. He retracted both fingers. He was quick, however, in ridding himself of his pants and when he put his hands into the seed on Merlin's stomach and slicked it up and down his own length, Merlin groaned.

"You'll never fit like that...try anyway." Merlin said, and he nodded in approval.

Arthur chuckled; Merlin was adorable. He positioned himself at Merlin's entrance and pushed in till just the head was in. Merlin was fighting pain, that much was obvious, and Arthur kissed him gently as he pushed further in. Tears sprung into Merlin's eyes as he was stretched and Arthur was fully inside of him. Arthur was eager to make him like it; so he started stroking Merlin's half-hard length.

"Ah!" Merlin cried out, shifting in surprise. It was painful, but the pain was being dulled by Arthur's hand on him as well as Arthur's dick radiating heat like a flame. "Oh!"

"Is it feeling good yet?" Arthur asked, hovering above Merlin's face.

"Starting to. Go ahead and move." Merlin said.

At this, Arthur lost some control and pulled out, slamming back in a second later. Merlin gasped and Arthur stilled. "Did that hurt too much?"

"Nonono, that was good. More." Merlin said.

Arthur obeyed, and without being prompted-the gasps and cries provided answers-he began a rhythm that had Merlin arching into him. "Arthur." Merlin said, and as they rocked, he chanted it like a spell. Arthur interrupted it with a kiss as he quickened his pace. He kept stroking making sure to use his slicker hand, and Merlin responded with incoherent babbling.

Merlin was crying out as it got frenzied, and Arthur silenced him again with a kiss. He kept kissing, especially when he felt Merlin's tension rising. Merlin's eyes radiated golden light as he came, though he thought Arthur's face was shining, just for him. And almost simultaneously as Arthur felt a warm ,sticky wetness on his stomach, he lost control and shuddered in his climax, stifling his voice as much as he could. Merlin felt the seed filling him, and he shuddered with a groan.

Arthur pulled out and collapsed next to Merlin on the bed. "I need you to tell me something, Merlin."


"Tell me your magic cannot make you pregnant. My father would be most annoyed, not to mention that he'd kill you."

"Impossible, I checked." Merlin said, his confidence firm.

"You what?" Arthur asked.

"Well, I thought if I were to be with you...Camelot needs heirs."

"Ew, that's gross, Merlin!" Arthur said, laughing a little as he nudged Merlin away.

"That was my thought as I looked, but it's not possible for a man to get pregnant. Not as a man, anyway."


"Well, if I were to fully transform into a girl-"

"Stop right there. I like your dick." Arthur said.

Merlin laughed. "I've become pretty fond of it over the years too."

"No, we don't need to worry about that. Not for a long time."

"So we just need to worry about me getting executed in the meantime?" Merlin asked cheerfully.

"It would seem so. You know, I'm really glad I didn't mention my 'Friendly Castle Sorcerer' theory to anybody." Arthur commented.

"Why? The danger?"

"No, I could never hide the gloat of finally solving the mystery."


OMG, finished fanfic. That hasn't happened in years. Hope is was good and that the Mpreg joke didn't scare people off. 0_0