I don't own Merlin. (Sadly.)

Just something that popped in my head.

I apologise in advance for any mistakes I may have made :)


Merlin was sat at the table in his and Arthur's flat, staring at nothing and tapping his finger tips on the table top whilst slightly shaking. It wasn't until Arthur had come home from his shift that Merlin realised that he had been sitting there for a good couple of hours.

"Am I glad that that shift is over." Arthur groaned as he dropped back on to their settee. Him and Merlin were doctors at the same hospital, they had met through medical school and after getting off to a rough start, Merlin and Arthur realised that they enjoyed one another's company whilst studying, pretty soon, studying together turned into talking which then turned into flirting, which led to dating, then sex which blossomed into a serious relationship.

When Merlin and Arthur had become doctors and got themselves places at the same hospital, they both looked for a flat that wasn't too far from work.

Merlin was meant to be working today but got the time off due to compassionate leave. Gaius being the one to go to to ask for the time off granted it to Merlin before he even had a chance to ask.


Flashback.

Merlin knocked on Gaius' office door, his cheeks stained with tear tracks, his eyes red and puffy and a red nose. "Enter." he heard Gaius call out. Merlin entered the office and closed the door behind him. "Gaius." was all he managed to get out before the old man hugged him, which caused Merlin to break out in tears again. "You take all the time off you need to Merlin."

"Thank you Gaius." Merlin choked as he pulled away. "I'm going to go to my mums' for a couple of days, she needs to be told. Please Gaius, don't tell Arthur."

"But Merlin."

"Please Gaius?"

Gaius sighed and then nodded. "Take as long as you need. I will tell Arthur that you have some time owing you and you have gone to see Hunith. Let me know when the funeral is Merlin and you can have the day off." Merlin wiped his eyes, nodded and smiled at Gaius before leaving the office with a quiet 'thank you.'

End flashback.


Arthur stood up and walked over to Merlin, kissing his forehead before taking in what Merlin was actually wearing. He was wearing his black trousers, with his black shirt, the top two buttons open and his black shoes. "Why are you all dressed in black Merlin, you look as though you're going to a funeral."

Merlin gave Arthur a half hearted smile and stood up. "Did you get Uther a fathers' day card on your way home from work?"

Arthur snorted. "No. And he isn't going to get one. I do all of this, become a doctor, stand on my own two feet and it still doesn't reach his standards. I'm done trying to impress him, he's getting nothing from me."

Merlin scoffed. "You should still get him a fathers' day card and present, he his still your father, I know he doesn't praise you but you know that that is how he is. Just because he doesn't show it doesn't mean he doesn't feel it." Merlin snapped. "You've still got your father and here you are blatantly ignoring him."

"What would you know about a father and son relationship Merlin." as soon as Arthur said it, he knew he shouldn't have, especially when Merlin's fist came towards Arthur and made contact with the side of his face. "You bastard. Once again Arthur you have opened your gob without knowing the truth behind it all." Merlin snapped before storming out of their flat.

Arthur stood there, too stunned with what had just happened to follow Merlin. After a couple of hours Arthur decided to ring Hunith as Merlin had not returned and didn't answer his calls or messages. He knew that Hunith had come to stay over for a couple of weeks and thought that Merlin had gone to his mums.

"Hello?"

"Hello Hunith, it's Arthur have you see Merlin?"

"Isn't he back yet? He didn't stay around after the funeral, he just said that he wanted to go home because he wanted to be alone. It was a shame that you couldn't have got the time off Arthur, Merlin looked as though he needed you there with him today."

"Funeral Hunith?" Arthur asked, frowning.

"Yes, Balinor's funeral."

Arthur rubbed the palm of his hand against his forehead. Why did that name seem so familiar.

"You will keep a close eye on Merlin won't you Arthur? I can't begin to imagine how he must feel. Being a doctor and saving all those lives, but when it came to his fathers' he couldn't."

Arthur felt a tear make it's way down his cheek. That's why Merlin was punching and kicking the lockers at work, he thought that Balinor was the first patient to die on his table. He didn't know that Balinor was his father. "I will Hunith. I'll talk to you soon."

Arthur put the phone down and stood and thought of what he said to Merlin when he found him punching and kicking the lockers with tears streaming down his face. "Merlin you can't be like this whenever you lose someone. If you are then you might as well quit now. You have to deal with it and move on." he had said to Merlin, joining him on the floor, putting his arm around him. Angry at himself for telling Merlin that and remembering what he had said to Merlin that caused him to storm out, Arthur picked up the nearest thing, which was a vase, and threw it against the wall, watching as it smashed on impact, pieces going everywhere.


Arthur went out and bought a fathers' day card and a solid silver watch that cost him nearly half of his months wages and went back home. He wrapped up Uthers' present and wrote on the card and sealed it. He left the card and gift on the table and tried Merlin again only to his hear his voicemail again. "Merlin please, please ring when you get this. I'm sorry for what I said, I love you." he said before putting his phone in his pocket and going to clear up the mess he caused earlier on with the vase.

Arthur was halfway cleaning up the mess, putting the bigger pieces in his hand, when the sound of the door opening and shutting made him jump, making a very sharp piece cut into the palm of his hand. He felt the blood run down his hand and drip on to the floor. But he paid it no attention as Merlin had just walked in. "Arthur I-" Merlin stopped when he saw the blood, he rushed up to Arthur and knelt down beside him. "What happened?"

"I got angry and threw the vase against the wall. I was picking the pieces up when the sound of the door opening and shutting made me jump." Arthur explained. "Merlin where have you been?"

Instead of answering, Merlin stood up and pulled Arthur up with him, gently pulling him into the kitchen and getting out their first aid box. He ran the cold tap and put Arthur's hand under it, letting all the blood wash away whilst he looked for what he needed.

Merlin cleaned it all up and put a square bandage on it and kissed the top of it before looking at Arthur. "All better."

Arthur smiled. "Merlin where have you been?" Arthur repeated.

"I went to be alone for a while."

"You wouldn't answer my calls or messages so I rang and asked Hunith if she knew where you might be and she told me everything. That why I smashed the vase. I threw it across the room in anger when I realised what I said to you earlier on but also what I said to you just after Balinor had died. Merlin I'm so sorry."

Merlin started to cry. "All of those people I have saved Arthur and I couldn't even save my own father."

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin and whispered soothing words into his ear. "You will get through this Merlin. I will help you. I am with you now, every step of the way."

Merlin pulled back and looked at Arthur, putting his palm against Arthur's red cheek. "I'm sorry for punching you."

"Don't be Merlin. It's alright. Do you want anything?" Merlin shook his head. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Two things."

"Which are?"

"One: You buy Uther something for fathers' day."

"Already done it. I had not long got back when you did, I bought him a card and a solid silver watch, it's all wrapped up and on the table."

Merlin smiled and gave Arthur a chaste kiss. "Two: Take away the pain I'm feeling at the minute."

"How do I do that?"

"Make love to me Arthur." Arthur gave Merlin a quick kiss and took hold of his hand with his uninjured one, pulling him towards their room.


Afterwards Arthur was laying on his back with Merlin's head resting on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through Merlin's hair. "Thank you Arthur."

"What for Merlin?"

"For loving me." Merlin answered sleepily. Arthur kissed the top of Merlin's head and closed his eyes to go to sleep. "I love you Merlin." the gentle snore coming from Merlin told Arthur that he was already asleep. Tightening his hold on Merlin, Arthur, too, fell asleep.


The end.

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