Disclaimer: I don't own Twlight - surprise! But it wouldn't be very nice if you copied or translated, so please don't - isn't there enough unpleasantness in the world already?

This little one-shot kinda came out of nowhere, and has no ties to Never Enough or either of the other one-shots that I have co-written. I originally started this for a Father's Day contest, but I blew the contest deadline. Of course the day AFTER the voting started in the contest my muse whispered the rest of the story to me, so I finished it! I figured what the heck, Edward deserves his Father's Day, right?

Many thanks to my betas on this one, ScottishRose1028 and PixieKat7, who stepped in when my regular beta and ficwife Iadorepugs is away and unable to beta for me. Lots of love to Cullen_Crazy01 and BilliCullen, who pre-read for me and held my hand, reassuring me that this was okay to publish, and super-duper extra Cullen boy lovin' to Melee03 who not only pre-read & gave me great feedback, but also made me an unbelievably adorable banner for this story. Mel, you are the BEST! I will link the banner on my profile page, or you can see it on my Facebook page as well.

Best Laid Plans - A Father's Day One-Shot

"Mmmmm, Bella. Time to wake up, love," Edward whispered in my ear, nuzzling my neck as he smoothed his hand over my hair and down my arm, lacing our fingers together.

I burrowed deeper into my pillow and squeezed my eyes shut. It felt like I had just stumbled to bed only moments before. It couldn't be time to get up yet, could it? "Please, just a few more minutes?" I whined pathetically.

I felt the bed shift behind me as Edward snuggled closer, his warm chuckle sending a shiver down my spine. "I'm sorry Bella; I let you sleep as long as I could. You said last night you wanted a shower before we left for brunch at my parents' today and there's just enough time for you to shower and dress before we have to leave."

Brunch at his parents? Shit! I'd forgotten all about that in my sleep-deprived fog! That meant today was Sunday. Father's Day. Edward's very first Father's Day.

I sat up quickly, throwing my legs over the side of the bed, stumbling as I tried to gain my footing. I shrieked involuntarily when I looked at the clock—I had forty-five minutes to get ready before we had to leave! Normally time wasn't a problem, but this was so not how I had wanted to usher in Edward's first Father's Day.

Eight weeks ago today, Edward and I had welcomed our twins Vanessa and Edward, Jr., or Teddy as we had begun calling him, into our lives. My pregnancy had been difficult towards the end and the twins had been born early, but they were doing well now and we were all at home and adjusting nicely to life.

It had been my intention to spoil Edward rotten today of all days, but the twins had been restless last night. They'd had their first set of vaccinations at the doctor's office on Friday and were still feeling the effects of those shots. I'd walked the floor first with Vanessa and then Teddy for most of the previous night. By the time morning arrived and they were settled and sleeping peacefully in their cribs, I was a wreck. As the sun was rising outside, I had crawled back under the covers and collapsed in exhaustion, praying for a few hours of sleep.

I cursed internally at myself, then turned around and smiled apologetically at Edward. "Thanks for waking me up. Happy Father's Day, sweetheart."

Edward's return smile was brilliant. He was such an amazing husband and father. He made me feel like I was the luckiest woman alive. He got up and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll get everything ready for Mom and Dad's, you take your time."

After nearly falling asleep beneath the warm spray of the shower, I stood in front of my meager wardrobe and wondered what the hell I was going to wear. I was still on leave from my job and spent my days in tee shirts and yoga pants. Except for the twins' christening, this was the first semi-dressy occasion I had attended since their birth. I certainly couldn't wear any of my maternity clothes—I had gained sixty-five pounds during my pregnancy and everything would be far too large. However, while I had certainly lost a great deal of that pregnancy weight, I wasn't yet able to fit into my 'normal' clothes either.

Knowing that my sisters-in-law would be veritable fashion plates, I reached for a pretty pre-pregnancy sundress that had an empire waist and loose-fitting bodice. I groaned in frustration as I tried to zip the back, finding that the 'loose-fitting bodice' was now skin-tight over my massive mammary glands. "Jesus Christ Bella, got milk?" I muttered, grabbing a short-sleeved cardigan from the shelf that I hoped would help disguise my udders. My breasts were already uncomfortably full and I wished in vain that I had time to pump or feed the babies before we left for Carlisle and Esme's. I walked into the bedroom, hoping that Edward would be able to help me with the tricky zipper.

Edward was threading his belt through his belt loops and I felt my mouth momentarily go dry at the sight of his polo shirt being stretched over the taught muscles of his shoulders and back. My husband grew more and more handsome every day and I was reminded that not only had it been eight weeks since our children had been born, but an additional six weeks before then that the doctor had put me on bed rest. Had it really been fourteen weeks since my husband and I had made love? I did a quick mental calculation. Ninety-eight days. Holy shit, that was almost triple digits! We'd started sleeping together a mere three weeks into our relationship and had never gone more than a handful of days at any point since then, until my pregnancy. And now we'd gone almost a hundred?

"Edward?" I said, my voice a little husky and I cleared my throat self-consciously. Edward turned to look at me and his eyes widened a little bit at the sight of my cleavage spilling over the neckline of my sundress. I could feel my cheeks heating in a blush, something that I hadn't done in years. "Could you help me with the zipper on this dress? I know it's tight, but I don't really have anything else that's appropriate for brunch."

Edward crossed the room and my eyes dropped to watch the way he moved. I always loved his loose-gaited walk, those long strides that were so sexy, almost predatory when he walked toward me. He reached out and stroked one long finger along my décolletage and I felt my skin tingle in response. "I think you look beautiful, Bella," he said, his voice warm and velvety smooth. He turned me around with the slightest pressure of his hands, his fingers working the zipper into place, then brushing along the sensitive skin of my upper back and neck.

I turned to look at Edward and felt my knees buckle at the desire I saw in his eyes. God, it felt like it had been so long since I had been a wife, a woman, something other than a caregiver and wet-nurse. I turned my entire body toward Edward's and wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as I stood on tiptoe to press my lips against his. Edward hesitated for a moment before sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me closer, his lips opening to mine as our tongues tangled. I moaned when his fingers gripped my hips, pressing me harder against his burgeoning erection.

Just as I started tugging on the hem of his shirt, a familiar cry rent the air through the baby monitor and we paused mid-kiss. "Vanessa," we said at the same time. A few moments later, a second cry joined in. "And Teddy," I said with a sigh. "I guess it's time to get them ready for brunch."

Edward cupped my face in his hands gently, the urgency of the moment having passed, and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Then let's get our daughter and son ready," he said with a reverence that never failed to amaze me and a willingness that touched my heart. Despite the fact that I'd been the one to walk the floors with the cranky babies last night, Edward was very much a hands-on father and absolutely devoted to our children. I knew how lucky I was and how lucky our children were.

Of course, he'd had a great example to learn from. Everything that Edward did as a husband and as a new father he had learned from my father-in-law. Carlisle Cullen was a dream come true. He and Esme were still as in love after thirty-five years as Edward and I were after only five and they were the most amazing parents I'd ever met. Emmett, Edward and Alice were as close as siblings could be and their spouses were just as charming and loveable as they were. When I'd first met the family, they'd seemed almost unbelievable, like something out of a novel to me.

Emmett, the oldest of the three, was married to Rosalie. They had two perfect little girls, Lilly age five and Heather age three. They were carbon copies of their beautiful mother, with long blonde ringlets and beautiful violet-blue eyes. They were always dressed in elaborate dresses and had impeccable manners, yet were still mischievous, fun and loveable like their father.

Alice, the middle child, was married to Jasper. They were yin and yang, Alice was hyper where Jasper was laid back. I didn't understand how two completely divergent personalities could make it work, but they did so beautifully. They had one son, Peter, named after Jasper's best friend. Peter was two-and-a-half and an incredibly precocious little boy, who was already reading and writing. He had potty trained himself at eighteen months, which was about the same time he started talking in complete sentences.

Alice and Rosalie made it seem so easy that I wasn't worried in the least when Edward and I decided to start trying for a baby. Perhaps it had been naïve of me, but I believed that it would be simple for me to balance my life just as easily as they had done.

What I hadn't counted on was twins and preterm labor complicated by placenta previa that put me on bed rest at twenty-seven weeks. And not the kind of bed rest where you could get up to go to the bathroom, do light work, or even walk around your house and just sit down when you had a contraction or got tired. This bed rest was in the hospital, hooked up to monitors and pumped full of drugs to stave off labor, then steroids when labor was inevitable. Vanessa and Teddy were born at thirty-five weeks and spent two weeks in the hospital before they were allowed to go home. They were smaller than full-term infants, but perfectly healthy and the absolute lights of our lives.

We pulled into the drive at Carlisle and Esme's home and I fussed with my sweater, unhappy with the way it stretched and stretched and s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d over my chest. "Damn it, I should have pumped before we left," I grumbled.

"I told you before Bella, you look beautiful," Edward told me, leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Emmett's going to make fun of me," I warned, grabbing Vanessa's car seat out of the back of the Volvo as Edward grabbed Teddy's.

"Just because he's jealous, love," Edward reassured me.

"Why the hell should Emmett be jealous? Does he want breasts that have their own ZIP code?" I mumbled sarcastically.

"He's jealous that my wife has them," Edward said, stopping suddenly and pressing a hard, possessive kiss to my lips, his tongue getting all bossy with mine. I stared up at him, a little dazed and Edward grinned, seeming to know the effect he was having on me "Emmett's a boob man, and yours are bigger than Rosalie's now. It's killing him."

I rolled my eyes. "Emmett's a boob man? Seriously, did I need to know that Edward? And what's Jasper, an ass man?"

"Nope Jasper's got a thing for legs," Edward answered matter-of-factly. "My dad's the ass man."

I gasped and smacked Edward on the shoulder. "Great, now I'm going to picture your dad as Cosmo 'The Assman' Kramer from Seinfeld. So if your brother is the boob man, and your brother-in-law is the leg man, and your dad is..." I shuddered, unable to complete the thought, "what are you, Edward Cullen?"

He leaned down and pressed his lips near my ear. "I'm a Bella man, and I'm greedy enough to want it all," he said huskily, feathering kisses across my cheek before he captured my lips is another slow, sensuous kiss that sent my temperature soaring.

Brunch at the Cullen house was always a grand affair, but this Father's Day Esme had pulled out all the stops to celebrate her husband, sons, and son-in-law. I was truly grateful that she had, since my own plans to spoil my husband had crashed and burned so spectacularly. Even though it was a day celebrating the men, it felt like a day of rest for me as well, with all the extra hands taking care of Vanessa and Teddy.

I noticed Emmett watching me with a wicked grin and I arched an eyebrow at him. "Can I help you?" I asked him sardonically.

"Yeah, just watching to make sure you don't fall asleep. If you were to nod off, I'm afraid you'd suffocate in your excessive boobage," he joked, leering at my cleavage. "Ouch! What the hell, Rosalie?" Emmett whined, rubbing his head where his wife had smacked him.

"Stop looking at your sister-in-law's breasts, Emmett," she scolded him.

"I can't help myself; they have their own gravitational pull. There's more boobs than Bella right now," Emmett said in an amazed voice.

"Edward," I said a bit desperately, turning to him as he tried to soothe a fussy Teddy.

"Emmett, stop ogling my wife's boobs or I'm going to put breast milk in your coffee at work tomorrow," Edward told him, and we all laughed when Emmett choked on his iced tea.

Emmett pouted and looked at me with puppy-dog eyes and in return I rolled mine at him. I didn't take his teasing seriously—Emmett was always joking around and making us laugh. But I was getting seriously physically uncomfortable, especially when Vanessa started to cry her hungry cry.

"Esme?" I said softly to gain my mother-in-law's attention. She looked up from where my daughter was situated on her lap and smiled at me. "May I take Vanessa inside for some privacy?" I asked, grabbing the diaper bag.

"Of course, sweetie, that's what the nursery's there for. Do you want me to bring Teddy to you in a little while?" she asked.

"That would be great. Give me about twenty minutes?" I suggested, and she nodded, handing Vanessa to me. I walked over to Edward and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, smiling at him when he looked up at me, the love in his gaze making my heart race.

I made quick work of changing Vanessa's diaper and sat down in the rocking chair, sliding the straps of my sundress and bra off my shoulder and placing Vanessa at my breast. I groaned with relief when she latched on hungrily, her grayish-green eyes locking with mine as she fed. I loved these quiet times with my babies and I talked softly to Vanessa, cooing and humming from time to time as well.

I could tell Vanessa was getting sleepy when her eyes started crossing and rolling and I giggled to myself when I thought of Edward referring to the twins' fullness as a 'milk coma.' I lifted her to my opposite shoulder and patted her gently until she released a burp her Uncle Emmett would be proud of and then laid her in the crib.

I jumped when I heard a noise behind me and quickly pulled up the bodice of my sundress, turning to see Edward standing in the doorway with Teddy in his arms and a grin on his face. "Damn, you covered up," he said as he entered the nursery.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, knowing that no matter Emmett's fascination, there was very little that was sexy about my massive mammary glands, which were built for nourishment, not for sexual stimulation. "Like you haven't seen me a thousand times before," I said.

"Mmm, like I said before, I'm a Bella man. It never gets old," Edward said, laying Teddy on the changing table and quickly changing his diaper. My eyes narrowed and my heart raced as I watched him. There was something so sexy about a confident, loving father, and my Edward was certainly all three, with a heavy emphasis on the sexy.

When he was done he laid Teddy in my arms and helped me bare my breast to our son. As with Vanessa, I sighed in relief when Teddy latched on, the pain in my chest already subsiding. I looked up at Edward with a twinkle in my eye. "Thank goodness you brought Teddy in here. I was terrified of what Emmett would have said if I came out lopsided," I teased. Last week I had been so tired in the middle of the night that I had forgotten to feed the twins on opposite sides and when I was done feeding them, my left breast was two sizes smaller than my right one. Edward and I had both gotten a good laugh out of that one.

Edward stood beside me as I rocked our son, talking and humming to him as I had done with Vanessa. Edward's fingers played with my hair and gently stroked my neck and shoulders and I moaned softly from time to time at his tender touch. Teddy nursed for just a bit longer than his sister before he gave in to slumber's call as well. Edward picked him up gently and patted his back, burping him and laying him down next to Vanessa as I righted my clothing. I was relieved that the bodice of my sundress wasn't quite as tight now and that my breasts no longer threatened to spill over the neckline.

Edward held his hands out to me and helped me from the chair, pulling me into the circle of his arms and holding me loosely. He raised one hand to my face, his fingers caressing my cheek and cupping my jaw as he leaned down to kiss me, gently at first, but quickly growing in intensity and passion that left both of us panting. I was pressed tightly against his body, not because he was holding me there but because I was the one moving against him. Edward's eyes were dark as he gazed down at me and I curved my hand around his neck, bringing him down to me for another lush kiss. I slid my hands down his back, scratching lightly, enjoying the way he shuddered in my arms tremendously. Edward's hand reached down and palmed my bottom, bunching the fabric of my sundress as he molded my body to his.

"Bella darling, do you need any help with the babies? I...oops, sorry, sorry!" Esme trilled from the doorway. Edward and I jumped apart, both of us grinning like fools and blushing like crazy.

"It's okay, Mom," Edward said, his voice a little strangled and his back to Esme. I smirked at him when he reached down and blatantly adjusted himself. He narrowed his eyes at me playfully and mouthed, "Later!"

The rest of the afternoon passed swiftly. Edward absolutely loved his Father's Day gift of a portrait of the twins that Alice had taken for me. And both Carlisle and Esme had tears in their eyes at the photograph of all of the grandchildren, which Alice had also taken, as Carlisle's Father's Day gift. Lilly and Heather were holding Vanessa and Teddy respectively, while Peter stood behind them all as if he were the patriarch of the Cullen/Whitlock grandchildren—it was absolutely precious.

Edward and I were the first to bid our farewells to the family, but despite our early departure we were both unable to disguise our yawns by the time we pulled into our driveway. We gathered everything from the car and took the babies inside, both of them overtired, hungry and fussy. We gave them short baths and then I nursed first Teddy, then Vanessa, and we laid them down in their cribs once they had fallen asleep.

"Ready for bed?" Edward asked, running his fingers through his hair, his expression weary and his eyes tired. He grimaced when he turned his head and caught a whiff of the spit up on his shoulder where Vanessa had marked his shirt.

"Just about. Why don't you go take a shower and I'll be in shortly?" I suggested. Neither of the babies had nursed for very long and I could feel the tell-tale tightness in my breasts. I knew I needed to pump, especially if I was going to follow through with my plans for the evening.

"Okay love," Edward replied, brushing a soft kiss across my forehead.

As soon as I heard the shower start in our room, I pulled out the breast pump and got to work. I had discovered, much to my horror and extreme embarrassment, that sexual stimulation actually made my milk let down the same way that a baby's hunger cry did. Just last week, a couple of days after the lopsided incident, Edward and I had been fooling around and I'd practically turned into a milk fountain. Thank goodness I'd been wearing a nursing bra with extra padding, but even with those reinforcements, I had still leaked through my clothing. If I wanted to end our sexual hiatus, I wanted to make sure I had as little milk as possible in my system.

Once I was done pumping and the milk was stored, I returned to our bedroom...only to find Edward fast asleep on top of the covers on our bed. His hair was wet and slicked back from his shower and he was clad only in a pair of gray boxer briefs. Today's newspaper was beside him, as if he had tried to stay awake reading it but was unable to do so. I smiled sympathetically, knowing that I had fallen asleep waiting for him on more than one occasion lately.

I hurried through my nightly ablutions and searched my drawers for something pretty and sexy to wear. I sighed in frustration when I was unable to find anything pre-pregnancy that would fit and vowed to start walking now that the weather was nicer and work a little harder on shedding some more of my pregnancy weight as I pulled on a pair of satin sleep pants and a tank top before crawling into bed beside my husband.

I reached out and traced my fingers over Edward's face, following the line of his jaw, his cheekbones and his nose. His lips twitched and he sighed and smiled, mumbling my name as I reached up to run my fingers through his hair. I stretched out beside him, pressing soft kisses to his angular jaw and burying my nose in the crook of his neck to inhale his warm fragrance. "Mmmmm," I moaned quietly, my lips and tongue tasting him as I moved down toward his shoulders and collarbones.

I nibbled and nipped, drawing the flat of my tongue across his skin, then nuzzling my nose lower into the smattering of chest hair that grew lightly on his pectoral muscles. Edward shifted slightly under my caresses, a low moan escaping his throat. I looked up at him, but his eyes were still closed and his face relaxed in slumber. I stroked my hands across his chest, tracing the contours of his muscles. Edward was toned and firm beneath my fingertips and lips as I traced the path my fingers blazed with my mouth. His abs were clearly defined, as was the muscled 'V' of his hipbones and I couldn't stop myself from running my nose along the 'V', or the happy trail that disappeared beneath the band of his boxer briefs

Edward moaned again as he shifted on the bed and I noted with interest that something else was shifting as well and tenting beneath his boxer briefs. As much as I wanted to take him in hand, or somewhere else, I wanted to make sure that he was completely awake for the experience, so I continued to arouse and tease his body from slumber. I flattened my hands on his abs and slid my palms along his hips and down to his muscled thighs, stroking and lightly scratching with my nails. I watched with avid fascination as his erection grew thick and sturdy even though I hadn't touched him intimately yet.

"Bella," Edward rasped. I looked up to find him looking at me through eyelids at half-mast, his gaze smoldering. He reached down with one hand and fisted my hair in his fingers, pulling me up toward him gently to bring us together for a long, slow kiss. "God, I thought was dreaming," he mumbled, kissing me again and again, leaving me breathless and wanting more.

I slid my questing hands down his torso once again. This time, when I made it to the waistband of his boxer briefs, I didn't stop, but slid my hand over top of the smooth cotton material. I swallowed Edward's groan of pleasure and rubbed my thighs together to assuage the sharp sting of lust evoked by his responses. I kissed my way down his body again and smiled wickedly when he allowed me to remove his boxers, lifting his ass to assist in the task.

Edward's erection stood proud before me, arousal leaking at the tip. I moved his legs so that I could kneel between them and then gently ran my hands up and down his legs, using my fingernails to tease the sensitive skin of his inner thighs.

"Oh fuck, Bella," Edward groaned when I ran the tip of my index finger in slow spirals from the head of his erection to the base and back again. I leaned forward, making sure he was watching me before taking just the tip of his erection into my mouth. I actually felt his cock twitch when my tongue made contact with his slit, licking up the salty precum that had beaded there, before I slowly began to lower my mouth onto him.

I had only made two passes up and down his cock and was reaching to grasp his base with my hand when Edward sat up suddenly and pulled me into his arms. "No more of that," he commanded, attacking my mouth with his.

Edward could feel me pouting into our kiss and he chuckled. "Bella, I refuse to be a two-pump chump, which is what I will be if I let you suck my cock right now," he whispered in a low voice, and I moaned in response. Edward was a consummate gentleman, except when we were in bed, where he had the dirtiest mouth and it turned me on like crazy. He nuzzled my hair to the side and pressed his lips to my neck, licking the spot beneath my ear that drove me wild before sucking gently. "It's been far too long, love. I have to be inside you."

He tugged at the hem on my shirt. "Let me see you, beautiful," he said, and I hesitated. I looked so different now, with scars and stretch marks that I didn't have before. Edward sensed my reticence. "Bella, sweetheart. I love you, more than my own life. Nothing is going to change that. Not weight gained when you carried our two precious angels. Not scars from birthing them. Not changes to your body while you continue to nourish them so they can grow healthy and strong. Show me and let me prove it to you."

With trembling hands, I helped Edward remove my tank top and sleep pants. I tried not to hide from his gaze as he studied my changed body; his eyes taking in my wider hips, the Caesarian scar just above my pubic bone, the angry reddish stretch marks the doctor assured me would fade to silver as time passed, and my oversized breasts, still larger than life even though they weren't currently engorged with milk.

"You are fucking perfect, Isabella Cullen," Edward growled, pulling me into his arms. I slid my hands into his hair, grabbing him roughly as our mouths met in a frenzied kiss. His hands were everywhere and I whimpered, moaned and gasped as he touched and stroked me. Despite our urgency his caresses were gentle, almost reverent as he explored my body.

When neither of us could wait any longer, Edward positioned himself between my legs as he looked deeply into my eyes. "Are you ready, love?" he asked softly, reaching out and touching my cheek in a gentle caress.

"God yes, please Edward," I breathed, raising my hips, I was so mindless with want for him.

Edward pressed forward and we moaned in unison as he entered me. I felt the delicious stretch as his cock filled me inch by inch and Edward stopped to catch his breath when he was buried to the hilt. But I didn't want him to stop. I wrapped my legs around his hips, my heels digging into the back of his thighs as I slid against him. Rather than fight my movements, Edward grabbed my ass for leverage and started his advance and retreat.

"Oh sh-sh-shit," Edward stuttered as we moved together in perfect rhythm, the steps and tempo of our familiar dance increasing steadily. Neither one of us seemed capable of drawing out the experience as we clutched one another, our arms, legs and lips in a desperate tangle as our bodies sought completion. Edward's fingers snaked between us and stroked my clit in counterpoint to his thrusts, and I felt myself shattering moments before his climax seized him.

We lay entwined for endless moments, our breathing heavy as we exchanged languid kisses. I didn't want to move, so content was I in Edward's arms. I ran my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp as he pressed soft kisses to my jaw and neck. He pulled back to look at my face, his eyes shining.

I realized that despite the day not working out the way I had intended, I had managed to give him the exact gift I had planned and I smiled in return. "Happy Father's Day, Edward."

I hope you enjoyed Bella's gift as much as Edward seemed to :) If there was anything that made you smile, laugh, sigh, or even growl in frustration, please take a moment to let me know by pressing that "review" button below and telling me what you though of "Best Laid Plans".

Thanks for taking the time to read!