So there are people reading this story? Wow. Here, have some chocolate. No, I haven't poisoned it. What do you mean, you don't think it's chocolate? Look, I'll eat some myse- I WILL KILL YOU, NARUTO! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY CHOCOLATE AND PUT CHILLI CHOCOLATE IN ITS PLACE!


Sorry about that, reader. I'll hurt him later.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Just read the bloody story already!



This story takes place in the world of Naruto, with some alterations. This particular chapter is written in present-tense because I wanted to try and write like this. The rest will probably be in 3rd person, as I find it easier. I may have certain chapters written in people's PoV, too.

If you find an error anywhere, please tell me and I'll correct it. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Oh, and that means an error in grammar, spelling, or canon.

Regarding story canonicity: It's slightly AU, but I'm trying to keep the backstories of every character the same. As you will notice.

Disclaimer: I do not own, and will never own, Naruto.

Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki

Chapter One: Prologue

This story begins 4 years after the Kyuubi attacked Konoha. Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto is now 4. He's sitting on the swings in the park, alone, when it happens. Some genin and chuunin ninja decide that they want revenge for the Kyuubi's rampage. They attack Naruto, pinning him down and slicing at him. He's left on the ground, half dead.

He is found by one Uchiha Itachi, aged 10. Itachi is the prodigy of the Uchiha clan. He graduated from the Ninja Academy at 7, and mastered the Sharingan at 8. Half a year after he mastered the Sharingan, he passed the Chuunin Exams. Two weeks ago, he had been promoted to the captain of Konoha's ANBU. Itachi gapes when he sees the damage done to the 4-year-old. Unlike most of Konoha, Itachi sees Naruto as a human being. His brother, Sasuke, is around the same age, after all. He grabs the child and takes him to the hospital. Normally, the staff would have refused to help the jinchuuriki child. But none of them want to mess with the famous Uchiha Itachi. Naruto almost died. He remains in the hospital for three weeks before he wakes up. It's another week before he is allowed to leave.

Itachi kills the group of ninja that had decided to attack the jinchuuriki a week after Naruto was put into hospital. The hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, is very angry at Itachi until the raven-haired ninja explains why he killed them. The hokage sighs, and dismisses the young ANBU captain.

Two weeks after Naruto gets out of hospital, Itachi murders the Uchiha clan. The only survivors are himself, and Sasuke. Or so many people think. Nobody knows that a certain masked Uchiha is still alive. But before Itachi leaves Konoha, he decides to bring a certain jinchuuriki with him. It's easy to convince Naruto to come with him. All he has to do is assure the boy that nobody will be mean to him anymore, and that he will be safe. Itachi wishes he could see the look of panic on the hokage's face when he realises that Itachi has taken Naruto.

Meanwhile, in Iwagakure, an 8-year-old Deidara is being bullied again. He's an obvious target. He has mouths on his hands, a verbal tick, and he looks like a girl. Even his family look down on him. A week ago, he joined the Explosion Corps. His sensei, the Sandaime Tsuchikage, had suggested it. It hasn't stopped the bullying, though. All Deidara wants to do is enjoy his art. He flees from his bullies, but stops when he hears two tipsy jounin talking about one of Iwa's kinjutsu scrolls.

"So wait, there's actually a jutsu that lets you combine chakra with stuff?"

"Yeah, it's really weird. The Tsuchikage's going to teach me it soon. He says I should be able to master it easily."

"With your chakra reserves, I'm not surprised. Hey, look! It's the tranny loser!" Oh crap. One of them noticed me, Deidara thinks. The first jounin throws an empty glass bottle at him, but Deidara jumps out of the way. The other jounin growls, and yells at him.

"Piss off, brat! Go make your stupid sculptures or something!" Many people think Deidara's sculptures are the only thing he's good for. Deidara is proud of his art, and this jounin was insulting it. He flies into a rage, and attempts to punch the jounin, who dodges.

"My art is not stupid, un!"

"'My art is not stupid, un!'" One of the two mimics him, putting extra emphasis on the verbal tick. The other sniggers and starts to form handsigns. Deidara panics, and flees.

As he runs, he thinks about the kinjutsu scroll. Being able to combine chakra with things? Maybe he could enhance his art? He always thought art should be fleeting, which is why he always uses Explosion Release to blow up his sculptures. Could he actually make his art into a weapon using this scroll? He decides that he'll have to steal the scroll. He could leave Iwa at the same time. He would be free.

Yes. He will steal the kinjutsu, and leave Iwa. He hopes his sensei won't be too mad. Iwa has never cared for him, after all.

While this is going on, the council of Yugakure announces that the village is no longer a shinobi village. This angers a certain silver-haired man. He kills his neighbours and leaves. He finds out about the cult-like faith of Jashin, and joins them. When he discovers the faith of Jashin's secret jutsus, he begins to experiment. Yes, Hidan is happy here. He gets to kill – sorry, sacrifice – people every day, and he is going to find a way to become immortal. Be-fucking-lieve it.

End of Chapter One: Prologue

Author's Note:

So? What do you think? I've changed the timeline a little, because I wanted the 4 mentioned Akatsuki members to be younger at the moment.

In the real series, Itachi graduates at 7, masters his Sharingan at 8, passes the Chuunin exams at 10 and becomes captain of the ANBU at 13. I don't know what age he killed his clan at. I've changed it so he passes the Chuunin Exams at 8, becomes ANBU captain at 10 and kills his clan shortly after.

I plan to have the Akatsuki be like a family in this, too. Not sure what Madara's gonna be like, yet. Probably going to have him act like Tobi, but when he gets pissed off I'll have him switch to scary Madara.

Later on, I'm going to be bashing Sakura. She is one of THE most useless characters in the series.

There may or may not be yaoi. I haven't decided yet. And just so you know, there will probably not be any OCs in the story. If there are any, they will be very minor. I HATE Mary-Sues.

Reviewers will be sent to the Ninja Academy. Non-reviewers will be forced to train with Gai and Lee for a month. Flamers will be tortured by Ibiki Morino and... Anko Mitarashi -gulps-.