What the hell was I thinking? This was crazy. You had just fucked every one of my friends and I was inviting you out for coffee. You probably thought I was desperate. But then the words came. "Coffee sounds great. I fucking hate alcohol, it leaves a crappy aftertaste in your mouth. Especially mixed with cum." The dirty words came out of those beautiful pink lips that I would have much rather had doing something else. With that, a smile came to your face and you stood, a cigarette finding its way to your mouth. It was the sexiest scene I'd ever seen in my life. You were sucking on that fag like I wanted to suck on this one.
You turned to me, a slow, sensual smile coming to your face. "Aren't you coming, bum?" you gestured to my appearance, teasing, assuming it was just because of my night on the streets. It was pretty normal, actually: my grungy, baggy jeans and the button down shirt that probably hadn't been washed in weeks. It reminded me that I was the underworlder here. You might have just sucked and fucked a shit load of people, but you were Freedom. You could leave whenever you pleased.
I nodded and shoved my wallet and keys into my pocket. I started in the direction of my usual hangout, The Drip. The walk had been really quiet if I remember right. I was too fucking tired to really speak. If you'd pushed it, I probably wouldn't have noticed the advance anyways. As we arrived, I realized how stupid it was to bring you to Drip. It wasn't even like it looked good on the outside and got bad on the inside. The outside even was run down, the sign made of cardboard, the windows so dirty you couldn't even see in. I stopped, staring at the place, almost in disgust. It was amazing how you could change the view of my life. This should have been usual to me, but now it was like I didn't even want my normal life.
"What?" The single word hung in the morning silence. I broke from my gaze to turn to find you staring at me.
"I'm sorry. This isn't your type of hangout, is it?" I asked, gesturing to Drip. You simply rolled your eyes and walked into the darkness of the coffeehouse.
I followed, albeit, very cautiously. "I'm a whore, remember? My usual is your usual," you said to the wall because you didn't turn to me. It was like you couldn't look me in the eyes and state the fact of which I was well aware. I had seen you sucking, moaning, and fucking.
I shook my head. "No, my usual is nothing like your's." My voice had been rough, but the fear didn't reach your eyes until my fist hit the wall, adding to the cracks already present. "Your usual involves getting paid to get out of your tight outfit bought from Abercrombie and Fitch. Your usual is to be taken care of by old Arthur. Your usual is to suck people off at a club and then look up at the band playing to make sure I'm still watching. My usual is to be without a home for weeks on end. My usual is to wonder when I'm next going to get a paid gig so that I can have food, but my friends spend it all on booze and whores. Not that I want out of it. I'm kinda used to this rhythm and I'm just used to getting by and getting laid. Don't even fucking pretend your usual is my usual."
You didn't move from your spot, you just looked up into my eyes without smiling. "If you're so accustomed to your usual, then why are you attracted to me?" You asked it so nonchalantly, that I was immediately stunned out of my anger.
"What?" I think that's what I asked. In the next minute, I'm not sure what happened, or maybe I do. It's also so confusing now. It was a blaze of physical feeling and emotion for the next half an hour. All I remember was the blur of the dirty, cramped bathroom stall at the back of the Drip with you on your knees. And your words, your words that are in my lyrics now. "It's the least I can do. Your friends paid for you, too." My song that's full of the lies you told me just to get into my world. And your lips were on me, sucking the life out of me in more than one way. I didn't realize it at the time. But looking back I do. You just wanted to get away from the life you knew, see what we on the bottom did for a life. You didn't understand then and you don't understand now. You working your way to the bottom didn't allow us to work our way to the top, it just showed us that we were that much lower on the totem pole.
We have freedom down here, the freedom you wanted. We have the freedom to break the law, deal with drugs and alcohol. We can experiment. But we sure as hell can't move like you can. You had the freedom to do what we do, but pay it all off and go back to where you came from. You have the freedom to manipulate everybody else around you into doing exactly what you want so you can have the life you desire. And if you decided that you didn't like it? So be it. You can change that shit, too. That is why you are Freedom. And I should have known that you were just giving me a taste. I got a taste of Freedom and I didn't want to go back. But to possess freedom of any sorts, one has to be able to keep ahold of it and go for the wild ride.
The wild ride was to come that night for me, not that I knew it would come then. You left the Drip without any coffee. You left me dazed and confused on a toilet seat. I left the familiarity of my neighborhood and walked the streets until my gig that night. I played without a wink of sleep, the only thing that kept me going was vodka and lyrics. I didn't realize until too late that you were there, too.
Sorry it's a short one, but I really liked how I was ending with a cliffhanger. I got so many awesome reviews and I will continue this. It might just be a little slow since I'm working on my story Maple, too. I just write with my mood, so that's why I've got a happy story to balance this. Hope you all like this one, too. And special thanks to my beautiful girlfriend who keeps reading over this for me (and loving me all the same) as I change wording and growl at it and just all around hate my life when I think that I'm not writing well.