"Say Goodbye"

Season 2

Revolves around the "Save the Mule" episode. Romantic fluff. Bobby and Lindsay spend their last night together before Bobby begins dating Helen. Some content contains direct dialogue from the episode. Always inspired to write B/L when I hear DMB. Lyrics are from Dave Matthews Band's Say Goodbye.

'So here we are tonight

You and me together

The storm outside, the fire bright

Oh and in your eyes I see

What's on my mind

You've got me wild

Turned around inside'

Lindsay: We both agreed… if either of us found somebody who could be…

You've met somebody Bobby.

Bobby: It doesn't bother you?

Lindsay: Well, I'll miss you, and I'll get a little lonely. You and

Helen are a good match. Besides, I feel on the verge of meeting

somebody myself. Don't let her get away, she's a good one.

Bobby: How could you be so adult about all this?

Lindsay: Because I know what we were, and I know what we weren't.

Bobby: I just wish that… I just wish it were harder for you, at least a little.

Lindsay: I'll make do with the memories. Maybe we should celebrate

that we were able to keep this secret.

'And then desire, see, is creeping

Up heavy inside here

And I know you feel the same way

I do now

Now let's make this an evening'

Bobby (smiling): Yeah.

Lindsay: And it was some secret while it lasted.

Bobby nods.

'Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight

Stay here with me, love, tonight

Just for an evening

When we make

Our passionate pictures

You and me twist up

Secret creatures

And we'll stay here

Tomorrow we'll go back to being friends'

Lindsay leaned over and kissed Bobby softly. She waited for his reaction before engaging in a deeper, more passionate kiss. Bobby immediately responded by reaching down and unbuttoning her shirt while keeping eye contact to be sure this is what she wanted.

Lindsay's body was revealing the opposite of her decision. She didn't want to send mixed signals so she whispered,

"This is the last time."

Bobby needed no further consent as he kissed her passionately while laying her down on the couch.

Lindsay didn't even recognize the moan that escaped her throat. She couldn't stop her body if she wanted to. She was too consumed with passion to take anything into account.

They wasted no time in feverishly removing their clothes.

Bobby wanted to make tonight last. He so desperately wanted to make her regret her decision. He was never any good at communicating what he felt with words so he was going to physically express what she meant to him.

He did just that. On the couch in his office as they had done so many times before.

This time was different though. It was bittersweet. He held on to her so tightly afterward. He softly stroked her hair and took in its comforting scent. He knew that smell and he loved it. He hated goodbyes. He hated that she didn't want him to hold her like this anymore.

Lindsay felt the tears well up inside of her. She was never one to get emotional after sex but here she was next to the man she loved. Tonight was different. She regretted that she wasn't brave enough to fight for him. She was taking on the burden of heartache by making things easier for him. 'In the name of love too, what a joke. Who am I kidding?', she repeated in her head. She needed air.

She wiggled free from the constraints of Bobby's arms and stood up.

Bobby looked up at her but before he could register the expression on her face she turned away.

"I'm getting cold", Lindsay stated as she slid back into her clothes. She faced the wall in time to wipe the stray tear that found its way down her cheek without Bobby seeing.

Bobby stood up. He wasn't about to let her go so easily.

"Hey", he said as he grabbed her wrists gently. "Let's go back to my place."

Lindsay looked up into the pools of blue and almost lost it right there.

"We have all night, don't we?" Bobby smiled at her and gently grazed her lips with his.

"Staff meeting in the morning, remember?"

"I'm the boss, remember? I'll give you a pass on being late." Bobby teased.

Lindsay laughed gently and put her arms around his neck. "Of course I'll stay the night with you."

Their routine had become so natural to them that even the silence on the ride to Bobby's was comfortable.

Bobby kept stealing side glances at her as she looked through the passenger window.

He wanted every piece of her imprinted into his mind.

'Go back to being friends

But tonight let's be lovers

We kiss and sweat

We'll turn this better thing

To the best

Of all we can offer

Just a rogue kiss

Tangled tongues and lips

See me this way

I'm turning and turning for you

Just tonight

Float away here with me

An evening just wait and see'

Lindsay glanced around Bobby's apartment.

"You know I've gotten used to your place but you're probably going to have to spruce it up a bit for Helen."

Bobby looked down and said simply said "Yeah."

Lindsay realized she shouldn't have brought it up.

"Feel like watching a movie?", she quickly changed the subject.

"No", Bobby stated in a matter of fact tone as he walked toward her.

He saw no signs that Lindsay was regretting her decision so this time he thought devilishly 'I'll try harder.'

"There's only one thing I feel like doing right now."

Bobby swiftly lifted her by her thighs onto his body and against the wall behind her.

Lindsay giggled and kicked her feet so her shoes fell off as Bobby struggled to keep her steady against the wall.

"You're making this difficult. You make everything difficult", Bobby said between nibbles on her ear. He then started devouring her neck leaving her barely enough room to breathe. Since soft and sweet hadn't worked he decided to alter his technique.

Bobby's strength and force startled Lindsay and she started to resist him.

The frustration was building up inside of her as well. She knew very well that he wasn't about to talk her into staying with him. However badly she wished it, it would never happen. He was too guarded with his feelings, if he even had any for her.

'How could he not simply choose to stay with me? Why can't he fight for me?'

All of these thoughts came bubbling to the surface and Lindsay felt herself turning red.

"Bobby put me down." He kept holding her in place ignoring her plea in lieu of kissing his way down her chest.

"I said stop!" she even startled herself at the sound of her voice.

Immediately he gently placed her on her feet.

Lindsay was livid and she couldn't exactly reason why.

She was about to apologize but instead pushed him away. She shoved him with all of her strength and waited for his reaction.

Bobby steadied himself and tried to gauge the look on her face. He could hardly tell if she was seriously angry or playing the part.

He gave it one more try as he took her by the wrist and spun her into him so her back was against him. He held tightly as she tried to wriggle free.

He whispered in her ear, "Tell me you want me to stop this. Go ahead, say it and I will."

Lindsay didn't say a word but kept struggling.

"That's what I thought."

He swiftly turned her around to face him and kissed her so intensely it knocked the air from her lungs. Lindsay's body lost all fight and went limp.

He picked her up once again and this time carried her to the bedroom. He placed her on the bed, always careful to make sure his hand cushioned her head.

There were no barriers or inhibitions between them. They simply let their bodies take control.

'But tomorrow go back to your girl

I'm back to my world

And we're back to being friends

Wait and see me

Tonight let's do this thing

All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up

It's all ours

On our way here

Tomorrow we go back to being friends'

Morning came too quickly. Bobby glanced at the clock. It had only been three hours since they drifted to sleep. Lindsay slept soundly through the alarm and he decided against waking her. He crept out of the bed and into the bathroom for a shower. He emerged fifteen minutes later to find Lindsay still dreaming. 'She's so gorgeous when she sleeps', he thought. 'So peaceful'. Sitting down on the bed, he softly placed kisses on her forehead and then lips as she started to stir.

Her eyes fluttered open and for an instant she forgot everything. She reached out her arms and pulled him into her. She was just dreaming that the whole scenario with Helen hadn't really happened. She was blissful and calm. Then she remembered. Her eyes flew wide open and her body stiffened.

"Oh God Bobby what time is it?"

Back to reality. Back to pretending she was fine.

"Quarter past seven, we overslept a bit."

"A bit? Bobby I'm going to have to miss the meeting. I still need to get back to my place and change, I..."

Bobby calmed her with a kiss.

"It's fine. I'll tell everyone you were stuck in traffic or something. We'll have it without you and I'll catch you up later."

"Um okay, well I better get going then.."

Lindsay couldn't hang around any longer. Her heart was heavy in her chest and she didn't want it to break right then and there.

Bobby nodded and stood up.

"Why don't you let me make us some coffee and breakfast first?"

"No, I'm really not that hungry thanks. I'll take some coffee for now though please."

Bobby obliged and disappeared into the kitchen.

Lindsay dressed and walked into the bathroom. She shut the door and stared in the mirror.

Her hair was a mess, her eyes were smoky from not bothering to take off her make-up last night and she smelled like a sweet mix of man and musk. Bobby's cologne always permeated her entire body. She'd savor the scent for a while.

She smiled. She looked every bit of a woman who had thoroughly enjoyed herself the night before.

She didn't want to wash it off though. Not yet. She cleaned herself up a bit and walked out into the kitchen.

The mug was waiting for her and Bobby was intently watching the news...

Or so it seemed. He was actually intently monitoring her but pretending to be engulfed in the latest murder/robbery/heroic act of the morning.

Lindsay took this as a sure sign nothing had changed. He really didn't care as much as she did.

He saw no change of heart in her.

Lindsay took only a sip of the coffee. Her stomach was in knots and she decided 'I have to leave now.'

"Okay Bobby I'll see you in a few."

Bobby smiled but didn't say anything. He was hurt.

"Hang around for a few more minutes and I'll walk you out.."

"No, no it's fine I'm just around the corner."

'That's it I guess. It's really over.' He decided it was time for him to forget. His proven mechanism for avoiding emotional conflict or pain. 'Pretend everything is perfect.'

Lindsay held her breath until his apartment door closed behind her. She exhaled harshly and walked as quickly as possible out of the building. She felt the tears well up with every step she took. She sat in her car and the flood gates burst. She cautiously eyed the rearview mirror to make sure he wasn't near. Burying her face in her hands she slumped against the seat.

'Go back to being friends

Tonight let's be lovers, say you will

And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love

A thing or two I have to say here

Tonight let's go all the way then

Love I'll see you,

Just for this evening

Let's strip down, trip out at this

One evening starts with a kiss

Run away'

She wanted to run away. Far away. She needed to grieve a little. She drove to her apartment with tears still flowing down her cheeks. She didn't have much time to dwell but she made it upstairs and into the bathroom. She hesitated before stepping into the shower. She didn't want to wash him away just yet. It had to be done though. She emerged from the shower feeling a lot better. There was no scent of him left on her. She felt clean, fresh and new. It was going to be her new prerogative. A fresh start. She smiled to herself sadly because she knew it was forced.

She hurriedly dressed and left for the office. The entire car ride she kept thinking of ways to play it cool. Deep inside she hoped he would tell her he didn't want them to end. She suppressed it all. With a big inhale she rushed into the office and made a beeline for her desk.

She didn't need anyone hounding her about why she was late.

Bobby watched her enter and walked up behind her.

'Oh God' she thought. 'Maybe he...'

"Any change?"

Lindsay's heart skipped a beat. 'Why would he ask this now? Here?'

With her heart screaming yes and head screaming no she smiled and said "Bobby I'm fine."

Bobby looked confused and elaborated "I meant Teresa. Any change?"

Lindsay felt entirely stupid. 'Oh my God with everything going on last night I hadn't even thought to call and ask! Stupid, stupid, stupid!'

"Oh, nothing." she lied.

Before she could get another word out the phone rang.

Eugene answered then motioned Lindsay with his stare.

Lindsay felt her heart stop again. Her mind left Bobby as she became consumed with the situation with Teresa.

Later that night.

Lindsay felt so emotionally depleted. Today was too much for her. She honestly wished last night hadn't been their last. She could use a good shoulder to cry on. She walked back to the office hoping at least to talk with Bobby and saw two tickets on the desk. Immediately she looked up to Bobby's office and there he was. Bobby and Helen in a passionate kiss. Before she could process the situation her phone rang. Bad news again.

Lindsay fled the office and headed to the morgue of all places. She faintly felt like she belonged there at the moment. She felt emotionally dead at least.

'Of course I should end my day with identifying a dead body. Worst day of my life.'

She walked out of the building shocked, hurt and traumatized.

At least the case had given her ample material to push Bobby and Helen out of her mind.

With a heavy heart Lindsay retreated to her apartment alone in her thoughts of Teresa and Aickman. She would employ Bobby's tactics of suppressing any emotional pain. Become completely consumed in her work and not think of it. And it worked well...for a while.

'And tomorrow

back to being friends

Lovers...love...lovers

Just for tonight, one night...love you

And tomorrow say goodbye'