A/N: Twilight is not mine. The characters are not mine. The story line is mine. I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what you guys think. ( I'm sorry for all the errors that you guys can find in there) it's not a beta version.
-The One That Got Away-
Do you have your 'one that got away'?
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared
something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first
kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you
put on a pedestal, the one you're with. But who is the one that got away?
If you're thinking of your first love; the answer is no. First love is someone that you will always remember as the first one who made your heart skip a bit of the first that made it ache.
If you're thinking of the 'true love', then again it's a no. People seem to believe that true love is only for one person only. But look at it this way, once you fall in love to someone, regardless if it worked or not, when you fall in love, when you were together, the love felt is true. During the relationship you might've on some point said that he/she is your true love; and it's ok. You can't just say that it wasn't true love when the relationship didn't work, because during the relationship or even before it started, if you had loved the person, then you loved that person. It was real and what you felt for them was true –love and all.
Now, you're probably thinking, who is the one that got away?
It's that person with whom everything was great, everything was perfect; there was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way... but the timing was just wrong.
Still not sure about the one that got away? Guess, an example is better.
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called "best friend" -Mary. I stared at her short, silky-spikey hair, and wished her brother could be like her or she could be mine. I'm startled with my own thought and brushed it off of my head. She turns to me when the teacher mentioned about the project and out of nowhere smiled at me –her priceless smile that she only gives to me.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before when she and her family went for their monthly camping, I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek as usual. At that point as always when she kisses my cheek, I felt a sudden urge to hold her in my arms and again wished for her to be mine instead of her brother. I got scared and pushed the thought aside. I am just missing her brother and she and her brother were almost a like. Yes. That's why I'm feeling these things towards her. I'm missing my boy friend –her brother.
I phoned her. I was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her brother who I believed to be the love of my life had broke my heart. Her brother told me that he didn't want to be second best and that in time I would know that it was in my best interest that we break up. How can he even think of that, when I wanted to with him for a long time? How can he even say that he's second best when he' the only guy I ever been with?
I asked my best friend to come over because I didn't want to be alone, and so she did. As she sat next to me on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, and again thought and wished that she were mine. It freaked me out and I averted my eyes, and chose to lay my head on her lap and focus on the TV. After 2 hours, one Julia Robert movie (My Best Friend's Wedding), and three bags of chips, and we decided to go to sleep. Before we went to bed I looked at her again, and said "Thank you" and gave her a hug that I –for some reason- didn't feel like letting go but I did. When I did, she looked at me with her warm blue eyes and said "I love you more than any of the boyfriends you could have could ever do. Because a friend's love is greater than of a lover's. Because it doesn't demand but accepts; it's not selfish but it understands." She leans in and as usual kissed me on the cheek but this time before pulling away she whispered "I love you… You're my friend." With that statement I feel a pang of indescribable disappointment.
She loves me like a friend.
The day before prom I walked to her locker. "My date is sick" I said;"he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date". I know I just broke up with her brother few months ago and of course I wanted to move on and the only way I can is if I destruct myself and so… I go on dates. She looks at me and I matched her stare, somehow I remembered that day when we were just kids. We made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". And I know she's not seeing anyone at the moment and… if I'm being honest… it's kind of a relief. "I'd be your proxy date," she said "I'd be whatever you want me to be," she added with her ever cheeky smile and so, we did go together. But not together 'together' and somehow I felt that unexplainable disappointment again.
At the stadium after dancing for I'm not sure how long, we decided to take a break and she offered to get me a drink. A love song played and I looked around, our school mates, almost all partnered up and danced. Most looked smitten with their partner but none of them looks right for one another for some odd reason and it was not me being bitter.
I continued to glance around and as if like in the movies or maybe just the timing, when I turned my head the crowd made way for my sight to find her; see her. She's standing there beside the long table that contained foods and drinks. Her dress perfectly fit her body, her hair still in its disarray spikey style, and her smile... the smile that I love so dearly that makes her eyes sparkle. And there it hit me. I never looked at anyone the way I'm looking at her or the way I always looks at her. I never wished for her to be like anyone else, because she is perfect. She's everything and anyone could never be. She's the one that always there for me. She's the one that not only seen me at my very best but also seen me at my worst and didn't judge. She's the one I go to and tells everything to. She's the one that understands, forgives and accepts me for whatever I did or do. She's the one holds me when I cry and whisper things that would make me feel better. She's the one that makes me feel better; one that could make me smile even if I'm crying. She's perfection breathing and in flesh and I… I love her.
But pain struck me as soon as I realised; she's smiling her usual smile she gives me… the same smile that is used to be just for me, now she wears and being shown to someone else.
After everything was over, I was standing in her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't thinking of me like that, and I know it. Then she said, "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her there and then, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends anymore, that I love her… but I couldn't. She doesn't feel the same way and I couldn't risk telling and losing her.
I'm in love with my best friend.
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma and all the while I'm dreaming - I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, she wouldn't and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. I hugged her as tight as I could, especially since I thought she already went without saying goodbye. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "You're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek and kissed her too. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just her friends, that I love her but I couldn't. So instead and gave her my class ring and asked her to keep it forever, then I watched her walk away. I watched her go knowing after today, she would fly to Paris and start to pursue her chosen career.
Maybe in the future… maybe when I'm brave enough… maybe then I could apologise for not realising what I feel, for pushing it and not acknowledging it. Maybe then I could apologise and admit that it's her.
It's her I love.
A Few Years Later
I sit in the church. That girl I used to stare at and admire the beauty from afar is getting married now –my best friend. I sit in the church as her maid of honour and I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to the man she casted the same smile to back on that night at prom. I wanted her to be mine, but she doesn't and didn't see me like that, and I knew it… I knew it from the very start.
Before she drove away, before she entered the car, she turns and she came to me and said… "Thank you for coming!" She said "I love you" and then kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that, I love her too… that I love her more than she could ever know, but I'm scared…
And I'm too late.
The one that got away is the one that was already in the palm of your hand but you let go. Could also be the someone that could've been yours if you didn't let the chance passed by if you didn't let yourself be completely blinded by someone else or perhaps the situation that you were currently in on that moment, when you could've had had the one that you now referred as the one that got away.
The one that got away is that someone in your past that whenever you look back, even if you're already with someone else or even married with children, you always ask the question 'What if,' or say 'If only'. That's what the one that got away is; the biggest 'What if?' you'll have in your life.
Isabella Marie Swan
Note: Feel free to share your personal experience of your 'one that got away'. Use the envelope inside and send it to us for a chance to have your article be featured in next month's edition.
A week later in her office, Bella looked at the pile of return envelops from the article she had written a week before. Looking at all the envelopes, Bella sighed and decided to start opening them when one particular envelope caught her eyes. It wasn't the same as the return envelope but rather a personal one and the hand written script at the back made her heart beats faster and slower at the same time. A trademark feeling that only 'her' one that got away could evoke from her.
Slowly, she opens the letter and taking a deep breath she reads it content;
My Dearest Isabella,
Do you remember the first time we met? You transferred from Phoenix and you got everyone's attention. You got my brother's attention. But like them, you had mine as well as soon as you turned and fixed your bag. I saw your eyes from that short distance we had and I noticed your hair, it sparkle reddish brown under the sun. Your first step you slipped and I caught you just in time. That moment when I had you in my arms, I knew I wanted you in my life… in any way I'm allowed.
Do you remember our first fight? You were telling me about my brother Edward. How smitten you are with him and how you wish he would notice you the same way and be interested in you. I suddenly snapped at you and told you to stop your endless chatter. You looked at me with confusion in your eyes and hurt, you then said you were sorry for wasting my time. Then you walked away and we did not speak for a week. I walked after you, but you never looked behind your back. I wanted to tell you I was jealous, but I did not have the guts to say it. I didn't even know then, why I'm jealous. But I am.
Do you remember when you and Edward got together? You noticed that I wasn't being myself and that something was off with me. I looked at you, and in your eyes. I saw happy you were that day and I felt guilty for not feeling happy for you. I apologised and I smiled at you. It pained me to smile that day, knowing I'm hurting inside. You have become my best friend. Then you're my brother's girlfriend. I didn't want to share you with my brother. I wanted you all to myself… I wanted you for myself. I loved you more than I should. But you already belong to someone else. I'm just your friend and you wouldn't notice me that way, so I have to step aside
Do you remember the time we at our English class and the teacher were talking about a project, I turned to you and I suddenly smiled for no particular reason at all? I smiled because a gentle breeze swept through your natural mahogany coloured hair and I was able to capture that beautiful picture in my mind.
Do you remember the day my brother broke your heart, you rang me and I rushed to your side as soon as I heard? When you told me how hurt you felt, my heart ached just as well because I did not want to see you cry over him. I wanted to hold you and tell you things will be fine, but I hesitated for I was afraid you'd push me away. After a while you laid your head on my lap and watched the film. I have confession to make. I didn't watch the film, because I was busy watching you. I was busying caressing your beautiful hair and gazing at your beautiful face. I was busy wishing you would notice me too… wishing you would feel the same as I do. That night before we went to bed, you embraced me and thanked me. I didn't want to let go from that embrace but you did. I looked in to your eyes and I felt that urge to tell you how much I love you and I did. I told you I love you more than any of the boyfriends you could have could ever do. You just stared it me blankly and I panicked. I knew then you wouldn't feel the same so I explained and just told you I love you… you're my friend.
Do you remember that night of our prom? We went together because your supposed date got sick. I was asked to go to prom by Jasper, but when you said your prom date couldn't make it, I backed out on Jasper and went with you. That night we danced 'till our feet hurts. You looked so beautiful that night. I always thought it would be impossible for you to look more beautiful but you managed it and I just want to gaze at you the whole night and I know I couldn't. I offered to get you a drink and while I was there, I took the opportunity to look at you; watch you from the distance and marvelled at your beauty. As I watch, the pain in my heart increased as the realisation that the beautiful creature I'm watching and adore would never be mine. I wanted to tell you I love you, but I knew you wouldn't see me that way; you won't notice me that way and I knew I had to move on. I did everything I could for you to notice me, I did everything I can for you to see that I'm here; that I love you more than my brother did or could ever do, but you didn't. Jasper noticed and he promised to take my pain away.
Do you remember our graduation day? I had to run after you when you didn't even say goodbye? I felt so insignificant, as if I didn't matter to you at all. But when you kissed me on the cheek and apologized for forgetting to bid me farewell, all the hurt disappeared. Before we separate, you gave me your class ring and told me to keep it forever. I did. It was the only ring I wore until my wedding.
Now, this may be a little too late, but I would tell you still, anyway. On my wedding day, when I saw you… I remembered the way you looked on our prom night. You were as beautiful it not more. When you walked your way down the aisle before me, I wish I did not force a smile when you told me you found what you were looking for, in the form of my brother. I wish I did not hold you in my arms pretending I was happy you were with somebody else. I wish I did not let you go on that day after our graduation without telling you how much you really mean to me. How I wish it was you who I will be meeting at the end of the aisle; I wish it was you I'll link my arms to as I stand in front of the altar and be Mrs. Swan instead. How I wish you would tell me you love me too.
But you didn't… and I didn't too.
Bella, even if now is too late… I won't do the same mistake I did before and not tell you; even now is too late, I want you to know… after all these years, my heart never stop loving you. I loved you before and I still love you the same way now.
Maybe, in another life time and we meet again, maybe then… we'll have our chance. Maybe then, we wouldn't be each other's 'one that got away' but rather 'the one that almost got away'.
Forever Loving You,
Mary Alice Cullen
With her heart in pieces and in tears after reading Alice's letter, Bella took her pen and scribbled down;
Time passes and love flows with time, you have to be in time to love someone, to tell someone that you love them, to take a risk, no matter how big it is. You only lose in life when you do not try; you only get hurt in a big way when you do not strive because it is only then you learn that you gain life. Learn to tell someone that you love him or her; do not let time pass by. Do not let silence and self-consciousness conquer your life. Everything in life is a risk, take it, learn from it, and walk again.
It hurts to have a one that got away when you could've had them as 'the one that almost got away'.