I know this is technically impossible, but still! C'mon! If there's a universe that has relays that can shoot a ship all the way across a galaxy, and aliens, and giant robotic assholes that come every fifty thousand years to wipe out all life, I think this one little fiction between a human and a turian in zero gravity can be allowed. Barely.

In any case, this is completely a 'blow off steam' bout. I tried to make Garrus sarcastic and sure of himself, but this fic turns weird somewhere. Not sure where. I'll find it later and probably be like, 'Damn! I've posted it and NOW I spot it! Nice going, retard.'

Anyway, here's my attempt at this masskink fill of zero gravity. Probably not as 'difficult' as the original poster intended, but certainly a nice attempt on my part, I hope D:

So, yah. On with the fic!


Zero G


"So, tell me when the fun begins, cause I'd really like to know."

"Shut up, Garrus."

Giving a raged growl at the console in front of her, Shepard promptly banged her gauntlet covered fist against it and leaned back with a sigh.

"Damnit, nothing. Even the VI is offline. Not unless we get out and push."

"I'd pay to see that, actually."

She leveled an annoyed look at the turian sitting in the seat next to her, and he simply turned his hands up in an attempt to placate.

This mission had started out with the best intentions. The Normandy had been in the area when a distress signal had originated from the second planet closest to the sun in this particular solar system, and Shepard just had to investigate it for the good of her conscience. The signal was intermittent and EDI had voiced her concern of that part, but Shepard had waved it off to weather or random interference. Due to the delicacy of the situation and her very strange and homicidal crew, she had opted to bring just herself and Garrus. Both equipped with sniper rifles and she her Arc Projector, she was assured they would be able to handle anything that might come up.

So, when they stumbled into a veritable hornets' nest of slavers, the first shot that rang out from Shepard's Widow ended up being the signal for everything to go wrong.

First, they had agreed that with all the anti-air cannons they could see positioned around the complex, bringing the Normandy or even the Kodiak in close for extraction was probably a bad idea. Landing the shuttle a few kilometers away, Shepard had made a plan for Joker to encircle the planet to stay out of detection range. Once the ship got close enough, they would simply ride the shuttle back up to the plotted trajectory of the stealth frigate when the mission was done.

Second, as the bullets started flying in their direction once the batarians actually found them, they came to the realization that the distress signal had been nothing but a ruse in an attempt to draw someone down the planet to get captured. Much like they were about to.

Third, Garrus chose a wonderful time to try to play hero when her cloak ended earlier than she expected due to a wide area grenade exploding near her. Her shields had fried also, and the turian had decided that several bullets in his legs were a much better choice than in her unshielded torso when he tackled her.

Limping as best they could away from the bad idea turned worse, they managed to somehow lose the batarians chasing them (although how, she was unsure, Garrus was leaking enough blue blood on the ground to paint a house) and made it back to the Kodiak. Dropping Garrus in the seat next to her with any medigel they had left already coursing through his armor, she launched the shuttle and tried for hard burn through the atmosphere to get off the damn planet before things went from worse to extraordinarily bad.

This, since it was Commander Shepard, is exactly what happened.

They hadn't counted on hidden defenses further out from the base, and an anti-air missile happened to catch the shuttle's ass end in an impressive display of sparks and fire, and the Kodiak careened out of control through the stratus of the planet and out into dark space.

Thankfully, the lack of air promptly put the fires out, but now the shuttle was damaged beyond their capability of repairing it, and they were stuck floating just above the gravitational pull while the Normandy made her pass around the planet. Thankfully, due to the inherent masking of the shuttle, they wouldn't be visited by any batarian vessels.

Heaving an irritated sigh, Shepard lifted herself out of the pilot's chair and through the door to the back area of the shuttle. Garrus limped his way to the row of seats right behind the cockpit, wincing as his legs complained at the treatment. He sat down with a weary groan, stretching his legs out despite the pain. Shepard had pulled out the medical kit, and promptly sat in front of the turian on the floor, unclasping his armor around his thighs and chucking it behind her as his wounds were exposed.

"You shouldn't have done that, you know," she mumbled quietly, already disinfecting the bullet wound on his upper right thigh. The muscles twitched from her touch, and Garrus scoffed, ripping the gloves off his hands.

"Right, because obviously you being shot and killed was a better option."

Snapping a pair of tweezers in annoyance, she promptly dug into the bullet entry wound, causing the turian to groan in pain and his talons to flex into the seat cushions. Trying to keep the digging to a minimum, she pried the projectile from the now bleeding wound and slathered medigel over his plated skin, sighing internally in relief even as Garrus did out loud.

"You don't know that. I could have been fine. This isn't a better alternative, Garrus, and you know it."

His mandibles twitched up and down slightly, which Shepard learned meant he was upset, but he didn't say anything.

She continued to extract the metal intrusions from his legs, working slow and carefully as he kept his hisses short and his twitching to a minimum. Taking a breath when she finally retrieved the last one, she peered up at his face, to see how he fared. Garrus had leaned back against the wall, his eyes dark as he stared at her. He had kept silent to allow her to finish her triage, but she knew he was going to argue the point once more.

He surprised her by grasping her shoulders and dragging her against his body, gripping the armor on her back as he hugged her tightly.

She moved her legs carefully to the sides of his hips, mindful of his still wounded legs, and placed her knees on the seats on either side of him. "Garrus-" she started, about to reprimand him, but his growl cut her off.

"Never again, you hear me? I can't-" his mandibles fluttered at her neck, and she shivered. "-and I won't lose you again."

While a part of her was humbled by his conviction to protect her, another part stood defiantly and yelled that she could take care of herself.

Shepard sighed, bringing a hand up to stroke his fringe, his irritated growling giving way to the purr she loved to hear. "I still don't like it, but I understand."

She started to rise from his lap, but he growled playfully and placed his hands on her rear.

"Not so fast, I kinda like this position, if you don't mind."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, barely. "Garrus, your legs are shredded and barely a step away from bleeding. Now isn't the time for this." When his hands began to roam and locate latches of her armor, she frowned and pushed away to glare at him.

"No, Garrus."

"I think you owe me, considering this mission has been nothing but trouble, and I'm the one who got injured for it." He ducked her swat to the side of his head, and merely grinned. "I'll take your submission as payment, thank you very much."

Shepard scoffed, grasping his hands and pulling them away from her body. As she moved to stand, her abdominal covering slid to the floor, and she sent a deeper glare towards him. He merely chuckled, wiggling his talons in her grip.

"Didn't need five fingers for that, Commander."

She was about to give a snide response when the lights flickered in the small cabin. Both stopped playing around and looked toward the ceiling, as if watching the lights would somehow make them stop going out. Shepard dropped Garrus' hands, turning towards the cockpit. Leaning through the door, she checked the sensor array.

"Well shit, that's bad."

"What is it?"

"Several systems are starting to fail. There must be a core leak somewhere."

Garrus sounded alarmed. "Inside the shuttle, or out?"

Shepard peered at the readout of the cabin interior. "No, not inside. But it still doesn't change the fact that we're screwed."

"Before or after we run out of air?"

Ignoring the remark, she thought carefully. "If we reroute power to life support and communication from other systems, we should be able to last long enough for the Normandy to get in range."

Garrus sighed from behind her. "Well, thrusters are out, don't need those. And probably don't need the lights either. Making them stop flickering would be nice."

Shepard moved to the pilot's chair, computing the necessary shutdowns of all non-crucial systems. The lights promptly went out, and the lower voltage emergency lights turned on, bathing the shuttle in deep reds. The shuttle grew quieter as the engine slowly stopped compensating for lack of functional thrusters. It may have been her imagination, but the ship seemed lighter without all systems running.

She heard a surprised grunt from the cabin. "What the hell - what did you do?"

She turned her head to ask what he meant, and startled as he floated up next to her through the doorway.

"Oh, I guess... I turned off the gravity?" She phrased it as a question, but frowned and looked toward the console. The power readings for life support moved just into nominal range, so she shrugged.

"Ah well, not like we need it anyway. And it won't be for too long, hopefully." Pushing against his shoulder, she maneuvered them both out of the cockpit, back into the warm red of the inner cabin. Grabbing a handle of a seat on the opposite side, Shepard pulled herself down to mock sit - or rather, float - above a cushion.

Garrus had merely sighed and continued to float horizontally on his back, staring at the ceiling, keeping one hand against the wall to prevent free-floating.

"Well, my legs don't hurt like this, so that's a positive thought."

Shepard's crotchguard had floated up in front of her, and she swatted it away in irritation. It bumped against Garrus' arm, and he grinned at her in that sexy way that usually ended with her ass in the air.

Closing her eyes, she shook her head and ignored him.

And jolted as a gauntlet clanged against her chest. She blinked at him, the smirk on his face only adding to her annoyance at their situation. Turning her head away, she eyed him for a few more seconds then focused her gaze out the window.

And growled in her throat as a boot sailed into her chest in much the same matter.

"Vakarian, now's not the time."

"And why not?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "Oh I dunno, could be the fact that we're stranded and could die before the Normandy even knows where we are?"

"When is that different from any other time?" he asked wryly.

She controlled the urge to smile at the comment and merely continued to glare. "I'm not in the mood for this, Garrus. Just drop it."

"Oh, like you - how do you humans say it - 'dropped the ball' back there?"

Shepard gritted her teeth. "What was that?"

"You heard me." Garrus crossed his arms over his torso, floating just out of her range. "If you had been paying any attention back on the planet, we wouldn't be stuck in this mess."

He was pushing her buttons, and he knew it. Anything to get a rise out of her. "Oh, of course, I'm supposed to know it was a slaver base. And that someone would decide the batarians needed target practice on his legs."

"And if I didn't save your sorry ass, it would probably be bleeding out groundside."

"Shut up, Garrus," she growled, her temper flaring. This hadn't been the best day ever, but to have him mock her to her face right this moment as they floated in a 'three-million-credit coffin' was working on her last nerve.

The turian snorted, shooting her a mocking grin. "Truth hurts, doesn't it, Commander?"

Her control on her temper snapped.

Letting go of the handles keeping her near the seats, she shot forward away from the wall, giving a loud yell as she collided against Garrus' armored torso. He grunted, but wrapped his talons around her wrists to keep her from pummeling his face.

"You goddamned scaly asshole-"

"What's the matter, Commander? Wounded your pride?" he sneered, wrenching her body around, easily trapping her back to his front in the loss of gravity. Shepard struggled, but still had the presence of mind not to kick against his injured lower limbs. She rocked forward and brought her skull backwards to bash against his face, listening with pleasure as he grunted loudly in pain, the scarred portion of his face still sensitive.

His grip had loosened, and she tucked her legs up underneath her body, rolling slightly and giving just enough room to bring her feet up and push off against his chest, hearing his back collide with the wall with a loud metallic bang while she gripped the opposite side, turning to glare hard at him.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten a major part of their relationship. She may have the flexibility to pull off such a maneuver, but her turian partner had mind-boggling reach. He had ridden the forced collision with the wall back towards her, and his talons outstretched in front of him as he continued to shoot towards her, catching her off guard and pinning her with her face against the metal.

Tucking one of her arms back behind her, he forced her up against his armored body, his other hand working fast to unlatch the back portion of her lower armor.

"Garrus, goddamnit!"

"Shut up, Jane," he purred. He felt her body shiver, and grinned, tossing away her upper legplates and rearguard to let them float and crash around the cabin. She always reacted when he said her name in such a way, as if his voice could stimulate her alone. Taking his talons, he ran one from the beginning of her ass crack all the way underneath to where her pubic hair began, the bodysuit she wore splitting as he worked.

He heard her gasp, and brought his mouth forward to lick hotly at the shell of her ear. "Submit, my dear. Just admit I was right."

She growled and lurched against him, but a hot digit rubbed right against her clit and she faltered with a whimper. He crooned low in his throat as he felt her moist heat on his fingertips. She was still wet from that morning, when they had coupled last. He grew hard under his plates as he remembered that some of that wetness was from him as well.

"Garrus, I don't want to have to play dirty, but if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna - ahh!" Her shocked yelp gave way to a loud moan as his finger delved deep into her cunt, rubbing and exploring.

"You certainly are a dirty girl, as I recall, Commander." Stroking her inner walls, he scrambled to remove her armor while keeping her pinned. She was twitching and groaning, her resistance starting to fail. He didn't believe for one second that she would simply fold due to his fingering. Not when it usually took much more than that to get her to submit to him.

When her chest plate was flung out towards the window, she placed her hands on the wall in front of her and propelled them both away. Using that as a distraction, before she could line up another move to disentangle them, Garrus gripped her thighs and brought her ass up towards his mouth, spreading her legs to give a hot, rough lick along the opening he had created in her undersuit. She shrieked, digging her nails into his knees - the only uninjured part of his legs, he noted - and unintentionally spreading her legs wider, making him grin as he set out to drive her insane in pleasurable ways.

He noted her hands weren't idle, as they had risen up his thighs to work the codpiece of his armor off. He shivered lightly, remembering well what she could do for him in this position, and licked hard against the pulsing nub near her cunt, delighting in her loud gasp and heavier panting.

He felt his undersuit tearing and then her cool, soft fingers were probing his plating, enticing his member to extend out from its protective covering. He groaned softly, talons digging into her flesh as he spread her cheeks, teasing the outer lips of her hot center.

Garrus jolted and bit into her thigh as her lips found him, and growled low in his throat, his concentration thrown off by soft, wet lips and nimble tongue probing the tip of his cock.

"Ah, Jane...!"

She gave a pleased moan as her mouth began to sink on his phallus, and he leaned his head back to groan loudly. Empowered with the fact that she was finally getting into this, he spread her pussy lips and delved back into her heat, stabbing his tongue in and out, wiggling against her clit in intervals and taking pride in her vibrating moans over his sex.

They floated for a while, simply taking pleasure in giving and receiving from each other. At some point, when Shepard began to suck hard along the tip, Garrus decided that was enough and he needed to feel her on him before he lost control. He brought his hands down under her chest, lifting her away from his crotch, amused at her whine when his cock was pulled from her lovely wet mouth. Pushing her hips down his body towards his own, he lined up her hole just above his member, stroking her soft skin.

"Submit yet, Jane?"

She frowned at him. "What do you think?"

Garrus shrugged, smirking. "Don't say I didn't give you the opportunity."

Before she could squirm away, he forcefully sheathed inside her, making her cry out in surprise and causing him to growl in deep pleasure. Her walls were tight and warm around him, and he felt his cock expand to fill her completely. Taking a few moments to shudder with a grin on his face, he began to grind his hips against hers, his talons digging into the flesh of her thighs. He couldn't get as deep as he'd like due to their weightlessness, but Shepard certainly seemed to find his pulsing organ hit all the right places inside her.

He gripped one of her breasts, pulling her back against his armored chest as he shoved himself in and out of her, groaning and fighting the urge to sink his teeth into her neck. Shepard panted and moaned, her hands gripping his, her fingernails scratching along his scales with each deep thrust into her cunt.

He had thought her lost in mindless pleasure, but she suddenly let go of him to find purchase on the wall of the shuttle, rocking them both down towards the floor. He grunted in mild pain as his legs impacted, and lost his grip on her hips. She slipped off him, and he growled.

And promptly yelped as Shepard pounced on him, latching her mouth onto his uninjured neck with a forceful bite and impaling herself roughly on him once more. Garrus groaned loudly, his talons twitching over her skin as her inner muscles flexed and rubbed on him in delicious waves. He could feel her grin on his scales, and cursed inwardly at her human physiology. She tightened herself around him, and he swore aloud in pleasured shock.

"What's the matter, Garrus? Can't take the pressure-" another tightening of her walls around his member sent him growling and scratching his talons along the floor "-of screwing your commanding officer?"

Shepard nibbled along his mandible, her blunt teeth doing nothing but driving him crazy. She reached the end, and began to suckle on his plated mouth. Her hips rocked forward and back, keeping him deep within her but stroking along his ridged length. He panted her name and sank his claws into the flesh of her buttocks, simply aiding her motions.

"Jane, ahh spirits, you're always so tight and hot, fuck." He felt the shiver go through her body as she heard his words, and raised his hips in time with hers, sliding in as she came forward and almost slipping out when she rocked back. Both moaned at the feeling.

"Kodiak shuttle, this is Normandy, do you copy? Shepard, you there?"

Shepard's eyes widened, sitting up and turning her head towards the cockpit. Joker's voice rang out with another call, and she moved to rise off Garrus' lap to respond. Or at least, she tried to.

"Garrus, let go, I have to answer."

He grinned, and merely tightened his grip on her ass, thrusting into her and chuckling at her gasp. "So, answer. You don't need to leave to do that."

She frowned at him, but complied anyway. Bringing up her omnitool, she patched into the communication channel.

"Normandy, this is Shepard."

"Finally! What happened, Commander? EDI's picking up low core readings from the Kodiak."

Shepard resisted the urge to pant as the turian beneath her began to move in and out. She bit her lower lip before steeling her voice to stay level.

"We've had to conserve power in order to-" She held back a gasp at a particularly deep thrust, and glared at Garrus' smirking face.


"Nothing, Joker, it's fine. Can you do a pickup? We're floating here." Muting her omnitool and placing her hands on the armored cowl of her lover, she gave a few savage thrusts of her own down on him, delighting in his surprised moan and felt his cock begin to pulse harder.

"Sure thing, Commander. We'll have you in the cargo bay in about twenty minutes."

"Thanks Joker. Shepard out." She cut the link, and leaned forward to bite Garrus' scarred mandible as their hips ground together in quick, hard circles. They had floated upwards off the floor once more, and she clutched under his fringe and brought his head against the bared skin of her neck.


He understood, and promptly sank his teeth into her flesh, his orgasm riding closer as she moaned loudly. He snuck a hand between them, wiggling the pad of his thumb against the engorged nub in her folds. Shepard gave a sharp loud moan and tightened around him almost to the point of pain, and he felt her body shudder against his as her climax tore through her. Garrus gave a purely masculine snarl as he spent himself inside her, gripping her body tight against his.

They panted and held each other, calming down from their exertions. Neither wanted to move or separate their joining; Garrus could go another round, but the shadow of the Normandy was coming across the windows and they would need to get dressed once more.

"I'm sorry, Garrus."

He quirked his uninjured mandible in confusion, slowly lifting her shoulders so they faced each other.


"You were right, as always." Shepard frowned, her eyes narrowed as she scratched her nails lightly along his cowl. "I should have been more careful. This mission was a disaster."

Garrus closed his eyes and sighed. "I riled you up so you could blow off steam. It wasn't my intention to make you doubt yourself. Shepard, this mission could have had a worse outcome, but this was probably the best one."

She snorted and looked away. "Yeah, because you getting hurt is always best."

"Hey." He gently flexed his hips against hers, causing her to sigh in mild pleasure and look back at him. "I'd rather it was me than you. And I've always got your six, you know that."

She butted his forehead with her own. "I know."

The Kodiak passed inside the cargo doors of the Normandy while they finally separated and put their armor back on. The shuttle was subject to the gravity of the frigate, and Garrus groaned in mild pain as his legs were forced to hold his weight once more. Shepard placed herself under his arm, helping him limp forward as the door rose open and crewmembers came forward to assess damages to their commander, gunnery officer, and shuttle.

Dr. Chakwas frowned at the large amounts of blue blood decorating Garrus' armored legs. "I suppose someone's gallantry got them injured again?"

Garrus merely grinned at her in apology, and Shepard huffed. "More like covering for someone else's mistakes," she growled.

Chakwas cocked her head in confusion, but Shepard just shook hers. "Nothing, doc. I need you to patch this idiot up quickly, since he's going to be calibrating the main guns as we nuke the shithole we just came from."

Garrus laughed, and Chakwas merely shook her head and smiled.



Yeahhh, not sure on this one. This whole thing was nearly undone just because of the damn shuttle. And actually having them do stuff without any gravity actually brings out some difficult scientific thoughts that I'm not sure I would think about in any other context. We'll just assume that it works because it's the Mass Effect universe and it's Shepard and Cerberus rebuilt her with the ability to have sexual intercourse with an alien and have no need to be careful of human limits. :3

So, read, review, tell me what you think, and I'll try to get more kink fills out soon, keep watching :3