DISCLAIMER: I do not own Cat Royal or any other characters mentioned.
A/N: As promised to liveforcolorx13
Haven't you heard? I'm stuck on a verse,
Its about time people realised the pain that I'm in. I can barely bare anything. When I look at him, I hurt. When I look away from him, I hurt. I'm stuck. Unable to know understand, unable to know what to do. I'm a broken record playing the same verse over and over, wondering when my situation can finally move forward.
I'm stuck on a boy, who fills me with joy,
Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to be him? Couldn't it just have been Syd? Or Pedro? Good lord! It would actually have been easier if it were Billy…but no. I really should know by now that my heart usually doesn't go for the easy options. It heads straight to the near impossible. Frank.
I knew I was wrong,
It wasn't a good idea to love him, not like it was my fault, but it was a bad idea none the less. But, my reader, you know me well, and even if you don't, you certainly know me well enough to understand that my views on a bad idea are:
"It's a bad idea."
"Don't care, doing it anyway."
To jump straight on into, this picture so pretty,
So what do I do? I let myself be taken in by his charm. I LET myself be fooled by his kisses on the hand that seem to scream,
"I ADORE YOU!" but will never actually mean that. Stupid? I can answer that one, yes, very stupid. Not that it matters, what's done is done. I cannot climb out of this hole I have dug myself into. He's pulled me in far to deep.
But he is so pretty to me,
Why does he have to be so perfect? Why do his eyes have to be so blue? Like the colour of the sky on a summer's day. Why does his mischievous smile have to play on his lips in such a way that makes me blush to the roots of my hair? Does he like to make me blush? Or is he just being him? Does he realise how beautiful he is to me?
And he doesn't know, just how far I would go,
He doesn't understand. At least, I don't think he does. It's not like I'm going to tell him that I'm in love with him, how stupid would I be? Even if I did tell him, what use would it do? Orphan…Earl. Orphan. Earl. Orphan, Earl. I must truly stop this delusion.
Just to kiss him,
If he only knew how close I was on that night when I danced with him. Three inches away, able to count all the shades of blue in his eyes. Barely able to control myself. I had nearly kissed him, I had wanted to. He had spotted me chewing the inside of my mouth and had frowned. I had smiled innocently and tried to carry on looking like a proper lady while dancing with him, when actually all I wanted to do was press my lips softly against his. I am actually ridiculous.
He doesn't know I pine,
I can barely look at him when I'm around him, for fear of not being able to tear my eyes away. Eye contact is awkward, whenever he looks me in the eyes all I want to do is stare at them forever. Every day, it gets worse and worse, I can't stand being away from him but nor can I stand being near him. Why did I let myself fall?
So I make whirlpools,
I give him little smiles and winks and I'll watch him as he rides around on his horse or walks around his house like he owns the place. Which he will do, soon. I listen as he babbles about nonsense that his voice and his voice only can make interesting. I'd be the only one in the room, as his voice doesn't seem to have that affect on anyone else. I love how he lives and I love how he acts. He's like a magician to me. When you look at him you can simply not turn your eyes for fear that you might miss something.
And watch him sparkle,
He sparkles when he's happy. Not literally, just metaphorically. His eyes will shine and his smile will be so happy and carefree that you cannot help but return it. No matter where he is or what he's doing, if Frank is truly happy then I won't leave for anything, I want to watch as he turns my life from drab black, white and grey into beautiful shiny colour.