Disclaimer: Done purely for fun, all things recognizable belong to their respective owners DC Comics and MARVEL comics.
Standing on the balcony Bruce Wayne did his best to try and remember how he had gotten himself into this mess. They had all turned against him. The boys had forced him out of the cave, Alfred had sabotaged every excuse. He was pretty sure even Barbara and Cassandra where working against him. How had it come to this? How had he found himself in this torture? How had-
"There you are!" said a loud voice that Bruce try as he might could not ignore, especially after its owner draped an arm around his shoulder and turned him around t face back the fundraiser he was desperately trying to avoid. "Seriously you are a waste of playboy material. Every woman, single and not, are just waiting for you to stroke them the right way."
"Tony for god's sake." He said putting a hand to his forehead while Tony stark just laughed loudly. Tony Stark was as close as he could come to a friend apart from his "work". And even that was stretching it since he was indeed Ironman. But they had known each other for most of their lives thanks to functions like the one currently occurring.
"Just chill" said Tony taking Bruce's glass and taking a sip. Tony looked up at him with a coked eyebrow "Bacardi and Diet Cola? Seriously Bruce you need to drop the whining."
"I thought you were recovering." He said taking the drink back roughly spilling part over his hand. Tony rested against the balcony's banister and looked back at the people inside "What my associates don't know won't hurt them. You don't mention it and I won't tell your girl how you will seduce that red head in a tiny black excuse of a dress."
Bruce just rolled his eyes and pushed his drink into Tony's hand. He was going to get payback on all of them. He was plotting what the best punishments for the kids would be when Tony caught up with him and dragged him right into the middle of the people there. He noted the glass that had been more than half full was now empty. With amazing speed he called up one of the butlers and had another glass, this time Vodka on the Rocks, faster than what it took Flash to get anywhere. Before he could say or do anything he was in the middle of the mass of socialites trying to keep an eye out for Tony who kept asking for a variety of liquors that seemed to get heavier as the night went on. After several dances and forced smiles he managed to grab a much more aloof Tony who was easier to drag away as he waved at some of the younger women.
"You have no idea of how to be fun and I really pity your kids."Said Tony jabbing him on the chest with his index finger, his speech just slightly more slurred than usual. Bruce ignored the insults to how he was bringing up the family and just kept pulling him to the balcony again. Tony needed air and soon. But apparently the cool breezes had been to much for these people and they had locked it. Bruce just sighed as Tony kept barraging him for being Buzz-kill-man.
"These blue blood wannabe's have no resistance."
"Oliver!" Bruce heard as Tony yelled and turned just to see Tony Stark and Oliver Queen in an embrace.
"Bruce I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you'd be working" said Oliver with a wink. Where was Dinah when you need her. He turned to the men and suddenly realized they had left his side and had once more mixed with the masses. It was now up to the world's greatest detective to find his two drunken millionaire friends. This was why he kept telling Alfred he wanted to keep fundraiser attendance to Gotham only. At least there they never lasted long enough for them to get this deep in the bottle. He nudged his way getting stopped by occasional handshakes and polite conversations. Finally he made it out side and thanked his lucky stars that he heard Oliver and Tony. He cursed the heavens when he saw Oliver trying to get his car to open. Bruce growled and walked up to them, only to be met by a smiling Tony holding to glasses by whose smell alone Bruce was willing to declare them more lighter fluid than drinks.
"Hey you can open it now! Come on Brucey let-" he was stopped by the dark knight roughly taking the glasses away and putting them on the floor. He walked up to Oliver and took his keys opening up the car, breathing deep to ignore the marks from the Arrows filed attempts to enter it in the lock.
"Hey Bruce, calm down." Oliver put his hand on the other mans shoulder only to find it shoved.
"Ollie I am not in the mood to play chaperone to Tony and yours self destruction! I am going home where I should have been instead of this place! Now excuse me while I go do something actually worth-"
Tony raised his hand at Bruce and stopped him. Even in his stupor he looked serious,
"If anyone needs a break it's you. There is a batarang so high up your ass you'd think Thor nailed it in. So get in the car, we get in with you and you drive to where we tell you without asking any questions. Understood?"
For a moment Bruce wanted to slap him. He looked Tony in the eyes, and then he looked at Ollie. The later just nodded and pointed to the car. Bruce sighed and got in the driver seat and waited as Tony sat shotgun and Oliver stretched out in the back seat. He would just drive around until they passed out and drop them off. The night had been long enough already. With this he turned on ignition and drove of.
So this came out from a late night conversation with a friend. Hope it's as enjoyable to read as it was to write.