A/N: Songfic series (without the lyrics) about Artemis to Nick Jonas and the Administration's album "Who I Am". (Don't judge. If you don't like the thought of a Jonas's music, listen to NJATA. It's much more rock, much less pop.) Will be Artemis-centric, containing bits of Spitfire here and there. Probably not all-out fluff, but will at least look into the pairing here and there. So read away! Artemis's POV as all chapters will be.
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Young Justice. Do you own it? Song is by NJATA.
I am always wounded. I am always scarred. I don't think a day has gone by when I'm not bruised and broken. I'm always hurting because of something.
I want people to know who I am. No one really looks into me like I'm something special. They look at me because I'm there. But that doesn't mean they can't look further. Into who I am.
I'm not just a body. I'm not just a thing. I'm not a weapon nor am I a waste of space. I am something. I am a person. I am human. Yes, I do have a soul. Yes, I do have a heart. And yes, I do have a brain. Just so you know.
"What's wrong?" His voice is innocent, honestly curious. His green eyes are on me, wondering as ever. He just does that and it bothers me, but I don't push him away. Why should I? No reason to be a hater today. He hasn't pissed me off. Yet.
With Wally, I'm a ticking time bomb. I can listen to him for only so long before I want to snap. Or in this comparison, explode. Because he's irritating. Everyone knows this. Robin is the only one who can be around him for more than ten minutes, but from what that kid says behind Wally's back, we all get sick of him pretty quickly. Robin just has the best tolerance for people like that.
"Just thinking." Being realistic, that's exactly what I'm doing. That, and sharpening arrows, but nothing to worry about there. That's normal. But if I was going to be more specific, I would've said, "I joined a year ago today." Which is what I do say. Because that's kind of what I'm thinking about.
A year ago today, I joined this team, became a part of something, and was suddenly more than who I had been before. I was someone trusted. Lives were put into my hands. The lives of my teammates, my friends, and the people I cared about. They were more to me than I ever thought they would be.
I respect Kaldur. He's nice. Don't have much to say about him though. Quiet. Not shy, but quiet in a reserved way. I guess being in the shadow of a king for a few years does that to people.
Megan… No comment on her. She's sweet and all in that sisterly way, but damn, she gets about as annoying as Wally does. Her and her cookies. Her and that "Hello Megan!" thing she always does. Her and her loud music and cheerleading and all that other garbage. Sure, you can do all that on Mars, but some of us live in reality. The real world isn't full of cheerleaders and cookies and all those lightbulb moments. In all honesty, she needs to figure out how to be normal before she can go out into the real world.
Robin. Good kid. Deserves credit. Living with the big bat and still surviving. He must be a miracle worker behind that mask. Not sure what's up with him, but he's got a lot of talent. He'll go far in the hero business, no problem.
Superboy… Superboy Superboy Superboy… He… has very nice abs. What more is there to comment on? His bad temper? His rage problems? His obsession with protecting Megan? His abs are all he's got going for him. And his pretty eyes. Other than that, he's really just a bit dope.
Don't even get me started on Wally. Irritating. Horrible. Annoying. Eager to please, but still annoying. Overall, just annoying. He's funny, sure, but I don't think that'll hold up in a court one day when he gets himself in trouble. He's Wally. We're all just waiting for Flash to come in and say, "Yeah, Wally got himself in juvie. Sorry, guys." Just throwing that out there. It's not that he's bad or anything, but if he pisses off a cop, it won't turn out pretty.
"Didn't notice." Wally sits beside me like that's where he belongs. It's not, but I guess I can deal with it. His jade gaze follows my hands as I work to twirl an arrow between my fingertips, aiming to get them all perfect before I have to go home or before we're called on for a mission. "So one year ago, I fell into the cave and made an idiot of myself in front of you for the first time." A slight grin creeps across his features.
I nod and eye the tip of my arrow to search for the perfect point. It's not quite there so I continue to work it like a knife, rubbing it back and forth against a hardened piece of oak wood. "A year ago today." The arrow is slowly getting sharper. The tip glimmers silver in the light of the cave.
"So you've survived the League for a whole year. It's a good sign." He puts his hands behind him to prop himself up and just continues to watch while saying, "That means you probably have a good chance of being GA's successor."
My arrow slips, but I pick up my pace again, slitting the wood and hoping to get that perfect point. Still not there.
"Which is good since he's really rich and stuff." His head tilts up to the ceiling as his green eyes follow the rafters that extend through the cave and all the attached tunnels. "You're gonna be really lucky. And GA's super nice about things. What's it like having him as an uncle? Must be super cool. I bet you get, like, the coolest stuff for your birthday."
If he only knew...
So I lie. "My parents are kind of estranged from that side of the family." I keep hacking at the wood the best I can while weaving a story in my mind. "No one wanted them together, but they got married anyways. Then there's me, their mistake." I try not to look too upset, but with the way I was raised, how can I not be upset? I'm pissed that I can't live like a normal girl. I love the heroics, but... there are things I'm missing out on. Like boys. And the mall. And friends. And boys. And texting. And shopping. And boys.
Hell, it just occurred to me that I'm surrounded by boys. That's a load of shit… I'm not missing out on boys.
"Mistake?" he asks, not understanding what I'm saying.
"They didn't want me. Didn't expect me. My dad left pretty fast, but we're still in touch." My grip tightens on the arrow, the sharpened point hacking harder into the wood as I continue the quest for that perfect point to it. I'm trying to keep my anger on the down low. Don't want anyone to know about the bad blood between my father and me. "He's the one who gave me my crossbow and all my artillery. Before I got to be Green Arrow's partner and he started giving me what I needed to fight with."
"Sounds rough." He can say anything nonchalantly, I swear.
"It is. If the world is a rose garden, I somehow got stuck with the thorns." It's about as accurate as I can get it. I'm wounded. I'm scarred. I'm battered and bruised. There's no real way to explain it other than my upbringing.
"Well-said." He nods approvingly. As if I needed his approval... "You and Rob oughta go to therapy together, sort some of those problems out." In a way that only Wally could, he got up and walked away, hands in his pockets, feet going slowly. His whole air is just nonchalant. I swear... I wishI knew how to do that.
Although I want to follow him just so I'm not alone, I stay in my spot until I know the tip of that arrow is as sharp as possible. It takes a bit longer, but I get it done.
I work hard to survive. Even if I do need therapy, I still think I'm doing alright. For being me, at least.
Then I realize, not all of what I was saying were lies. "Shit."
A/N: I don't know everything about Artemis, but I'm working on it. Studying. Learning. Not sure what all is truth and lies here, but I'm weaving the story the way I want to. So review and I'll post another when I get back from my writing camp. Adios guys!