This was brought to my attention over in the No You Can't Forums- The lovely sirenmergirl wanted this to become a fic and frankly I couldn't stop thinking about it during my finals. And so here I come back to it. And Lots of Fluff to follow! Not sure if it will be M- but if I get enough ppl interested in this then perhaps the evil plot bunnies will bounce in that direction. :3 So I have taken elements from her idea and meshed in some of mine. I hope this is enjoyed!


Chapter 1: Glaupunk Bound


Roxanne Ritchi stood before her grandparent's cow farm and sighed heavy enough to make the grass at her feet lean away. At twenty-eight, she was one of the first in her class and a new up and coming reporter for KMCV News Channel 8. She had finally advanced to the news station after six and a half years of working at a much smaller, county local news station outside of Metro City. Things were looking up for her until a few weeks ago when her cameraman, Jeremy, had sexually assaulted her.

Oh he was harmless enough she had thought upon first meeting him. Just over enthusiastic, and always very sly with his 'compliments'. But after she had turned him down for the hundredth time he had gotten angry and decided to take matters into his own hands. He had broken into her apartment and waited for her to arrive home. She had undressed almost completely before she realized the window to her bedroom was cracked.

Roxanne shook the images from her mind and kicked a rock, lifting her foot she walked over the small stone, to trudge forward up the old wooden steps onto her Grandparent's front porch. There were two wooden rockers sitting side by side and a chained bench swing calmly moving back and forth from the wind. The house itself was in okay shape, having been re-built at the turn of the century after a brush fire decided to wash away the original. Her Grandparent's couldn't bear to part with the land. I t had been there home for forty years and it had been in the family for far longer.

She set down her suitcases and lifted her hand to knock on the door, but before she could knock on it , it swung open and there stood her Grandfather, his eyes moist, a wide smile pulling apart his wrinkly face. He pulled her to him in a fierce hug.

"Roxy! Oh look at you, what are you now girl— twenty-two? Edith! Quick, Roxanne's here!" He laughed happily and lifted her up, with surprising strength, over his shoulder so that she could see her Grandmother making her way to them, who was also smiling.

"Marcus put her down! Look, you're squeezing the poor thing. Roxanne, my my my look at you, you've gone and made a place for yourself haven't you?" Edith asked as soon as Marcus had set her down.

"I'm trying Grandma. I'm trying."

"Now, what's this business you were upset over? Some man?" Marcus didn't seem happy with the thought. He gave her a gentle push inside and picked up her bags following after her.

"His name is Jeremy, and my boss wanted me to get away from Metro City for a while because of what happened." Roxanne slid her feet out of her shoes and she walked over to the couch in the middle of the room. She stretched and sat down.

"We heard about the nasty details on another news station. We thought you'd come out and declare what had happened, but Channel 8 only mentioned that you were on sick leave." Edith disappeared into the kitchen.

"Yes. Well, you know pretty much everything that happened. Jeremy wasn't satisfied that I didn't want to see him outside of our work lives and he broke into my apartment. I'm sure you know what he intended to do. I managed to escape him with my dignity intact." Roxanne yawned and wiped at her eyes.

"Thank God for that!" Marcus leaned over and brushed her short bangs out of her face. "What did your m other say?"

"Oh you know, the usual.'What did you promise that boy, Roxanne?' 'There's no reason for someone to break into your apartment to try and rape you unless you were leading him on.' And then if you can believe it, she had the gall to ask me if I wanted to come home for a while and wait it out!"

"Oh, I can believe it," Edith said, emerging from the kitchen with a cup and saucer for Roxanne. She could smell lavender. "Jenna never was one for tact. It just surprises me that she isn't a little more sympathetic. She used to have similar problems when she was your age you know, and your father was the one to rescue her on most occasions from 'boisterous beaus.'" Edith shook her head handing the cup to Roxanne.

"That girl. Ever since she hit forty she's turned into a nag." Marcus laughed when Edith slapped at him, "No, don't hit me, I'm right and you know it! I love the girl but she's been converted to the 'dark side'!"

Roxanne sipped the lavender and chamomile tea, delighting in its warmth as she watched the exchange between her grandparents. She yawned again.

"Oh, oh—look we're already boring her and she just arrived." Edith chuckled. "Roxanne, dear, why don't you go up to your old room and get settled in? Take a nap; I'll call you when dinner's ready."

"Oh— okay then." She placed her cup on the table in front of her and started to walk up the stairs.

"Go ahead, I'll just be a moment, Roxy, with your things," Marcus called to her.

Roxanne nodded and continued upwards. She was closing the door to her room when she caught the end of a whispered conversation between her grandparents.

"...no, don't worry. She won't find it Edi."

"I'm just worried, Marc. You know what the Doctor said."

"Don't worry. I promise it's not a big deal."

It was quiet after that and Roxanne closed the door. She felt bad for having intruded like some well- snoopy reporter, but it was what she was used to and she supposed it wasn't anything terrible she'd overheard. The doctor her Grandmother had referred to was probably something to do with her recent rise in cholesterol that she had mentioned in passing to Roxanne over the phone.

She laid down on her small twin bed and drifted off, wondering just what her grandparents' were talking about if not cholesterol.


Nine days later, Roxanne was feeling great. She was riding horses again, mucking stalls, feeding chickens, and helping her grandfather toss hay all day. They'd wake up early, work all day, and fall asleep early only to do the same thing the next day. It was hard, back breaking work, but it was also relaxing to do the same thing she had done every day during the long summers as a teenager. It proved to her that she was still able to rustle up a farm with the best of them. And it proved to her grandparents that she hadn't been changed by the city as they'd first believed.

It was on this morning when her grandpa had informed her that he wanted her to take a day off to just do nothing. Roxanne didn't understand why at first, until he'd explained that she had come to relax, not to help him work.

"But Grandpa I don't mind, I like working. You know that."

"Yes, and bless your soul for helping me out, but I had a talk with your grandma last night and I decided she's right. You ain't no kid anymore, and while working outdoors is good for the soul, you need to keep your strength about you these days. You need to relax or you'll get burnt out quick. You're a woman now; you earned your keep a long time ago Roxy. Why don't you just go relax for one day if nothing else then?" He shrugged.

"Okay Grandpa. You win." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, and laughed as he ducked his head to hide the blush creeping up his face.

"Sure is hot today." He whistled clearing his throat.

Roxanne waved to him as she ran off down to the fields. She wanted to rest under the old oak tree that she always used to lay under when she was a girl. Spotting it and ran faster until she coasted to a stop, sliding slightly under pebbles and dirt, she grabbed onto the tree for balance. But one pebble in particular would not be bested and her foot slid out from under her she fell back,

and fell,

and fell,

and fell,

until finally she hit the ground. It was only a matter of seconds, but within that short amount of time, Roxanne Ritchi was no longer on her grandparent's cow farm. She was sitting in the middle of a vast crowd of blue-skinned, big headed people. All of whom, took notice immediately of her decent into their gathering.

She gasped but quickly shut her mouth. Surrounding her were so many blue people that she lost count. There were all sizes: short and tall, mostly children and young to middle aged adults, though she noted a few older people—if that was what they were— and they all had no hair on top of their heads. Although, some of the men— which is also what she hoped they were— had beards or mustaches. The women all had some type of makeup on. They were all wearing white, one-piece suits. The suits had light blue trim running designs in various patterns around them. What brought her jaw dropping further was the atmosphere around the people before her.

She was in some kind of building; it had a great tall dome, which was an entire window, and there was a large sun in the sky, which was bright yellow. White clouds floated through the blue sky as if the bright day that was going on outside was still at her grandparents'. She was sure her grandpa was somewhere feeding the cows, but she knew somehow that she was nowhere near him. She felt very far away from her family's cow farm. Roxanne took all of this in within seconds and she tried not to scream. These 'people' didn't seem threatening, rather caught off guard.

She attempted to stand and that was when she felt a squirming beneath her, she squeaked very unladylike and backed away as quickly as she could off of the person she'd landed on. He sat up and coughed into his hand then took in deep breaths of air before finally seeming to notice her. He looked up and into her eyes.

Roxanne's breath seemed to expel from her body all at once. His eyes were the brightest color of green that she had ever seen… and his expression was one of annoyance.

"Cé go bhfuil tú?" he asked in a surprisingly very male sounding voice.

"I-I'm sorry?" she tried.

"Neem me niet kwalijk, begrijp je me?" he asked now, one of his fine black eyebrows rising to emphasize his question.

"I'm sorry I'm American— I don't under—"

"Marekani? You speak English? American English?" his voice echoed throughout the crisp, light blue room.

"Y-Yes I'm American. I speak English, although I know a bit of French, and sometimes I can understand pieces of Spanish if you speak it slowly..." she paused to see that green eyes were laughing at her. It was then she noticed the small goatee under his lip. He was dressed as the others were, but his collar was higher, and he had on a long white cape, whose underside was blue. "Wh-where am I—" her question was cut off as the situation seemed to grow deadly.

Another blue-skinned man had arrived on the scene and the room lost all its background noise immediately. He was slightly larger than the thin man in front of her, and his muscle structure was obviously greater. The blue man in front of her continued to laugh, either unaware or uncaring, of the new man's arrival.

"Bror, hva er dette?" he asked in a loud in another language, which also seemed very angry.

The green-eyed man in front of her stopped laughing suddenly, his face straight. He glanced up to the man in front of him, "Do you understand French well enough to catch it if spoken?" he asked without looking at her.

"Yes. I know enough." Her family had insisted that she learn a foreign language, and once she was out in the real world, she was glad that she had. It had come in handy several times. She was once again thanking her parents for forcing her to learn.

"Good, because only few here know American English. Including this man before us. So, I'm switching. Pay attention little homo sapien." He smiled and then began to speak rapidly to the man in front of him. "Qu'est-ce en Qu'est-ce?"

'What is what?' Roxanne translated in her mind.

"Ne plaisante pas. Je ne suis pas dans l'ambiance. Qui est ce?" the muscled man growled.

'Don't joke with me. I'm not in the mood. Who is that?'

"Elle pourrait être ma concubine nouvelle," the green-eyed man in front of her continued while looking at his fingernails uninterested.

'It could be one of my new concubines.' Roxanne's eyes widened and she fought not to move.

He laughed when the other man seemed flabbergasted and continued. "Ou elle est l'une des expériemcents les médecins."

'Or, one of the Doctor's experiments.'

"C'est illegal. Je vais devoir la détruire immédiatement!"

'That is illegal. I will have her destroyed immediately!' The muscle head moved quickly forward, his hand outstretched.

"NO!" Roxanne turned around and scooted back away from him. Her back hit solidity and she looked up to see that she had run into the green-eyed blue alien.

"Ou elle pourrait être de la Voie Lactée. La planète Terre." Green eyes said, his smile no longer evident. "Nous devrons attendre et voir, Frère. Il est aussi la loi. Protéger d'autres créatures de Glaupunk."

'Or it could be the Milky Way. Planet Earth. We will wait and see, my brother. It is also the law to protect other creatures of the Glaupunk.'

Her chest heaved up and down. She should try to remain calm, but what should she do? The Green-eyed blue-skinned man behind her was sticking up for her, should she stay with him? He'd also mentioned that she could be his new concubine. That was the part that worried her.

"Puis la jeune fille va être mis en prison jusqu'à ce qu'il soit confirmé."

'Then the girl will be imprisoned until it is confirmed!'

The muscle man wasn't going to take "no" for an answer this time. Roxanne pushed against her 'protector,' attempting to back away. But from who, she wasn't sure. She felt herself being hoisted up. The thin green-eyed man was stronger than he looked; he pulled her to her feet and stared into her face.

"I tried to talk sense into my brother, but he doesn't want to take a risk today. I'm sorry. I did try." He seemed genuinely apologetic.

"What? So, what do I do? Am I going to prison? For what?" Her eyes were wide and she started to breathe heavily again, a panic attack would explode from her soon if she didn't do something.

Green-eyes stared at her a moment longer before saying, "You'll owe me for this. Run behind me as fast as you can and don't look back. Make four lefts, two straights, six rights, and then ask the fat man at the door for entry. The code is: Minion. Then try to get to Dr. Glar, he can help you. Do you understand?

"How do I get to him?"

"NO TIME! GO!" he laughed and pulled her quickly behind him throwing all of his weight into it. He propelled her forward and Roxanne started to run as fast as her legs would carry her. How in the hell was she going to hide in a place full of blue people?


'Think positive Roxanne! It will be like finding a needle in a hay stack for that guy!' She ran even faster, ducking between surprised people. Some screamed and she rolled her eyes. 'Trust me lady, I'm just as shocked as you!' Darting behind large pieces of electronic equipment she found a door and quickly leapt through it, slamming it shut.

Instantly, a deep, rank odor filled her nostrils, making her eyes water. It was like rotting meat that someone ate and threw up- twice. She looked around and spotted a large bin in front of her. It seemed that she had run into some kind of garbage disposal.

"Oh gross!" Did she turn wrong? "Four lefts, two straights—I gotta go straight!" Roxanne darted forward. There was another door blocking her path, "This must be what he meant by 'two straights'—go through two doors, continue straight until I come to the first right turn."

She grabbed onto a wall and rounded the first corner. Running down another long corridor, she came to a set of stairs. With no other options, she began her decent, and at the end, there were three choices. She kept to the right. 'Four more.' This time there was another hallway to her immediate right. She took it to find another maze of doors, and an open corridor—she chose that as it was furthest right. Finally after turning again to the right, she ran straight into a jiggly stomach, and she fell on her butt— hard.

"Shit!" she cursed and looked up to see a human looking man. He was huge. And that was an understatement. The doors behind the man were equally large, but he himself was three times the size of a BMW. His head was tiny and his expression was unimpressed. Large rolls of fat curled under his chin as if he had sewn newborn puppies there, and their skin had bunched up.

"Code," was all he said.

Roxanne stood up and swallowed deeply before she quivered out the answer, "Minion."

The fat man glowered at her, and for a few minutes, she didn't think she'd get past him. Then, a small door near his foot that she hadn't even seen before, opened up. She looked at him with a 'you've got to be kidding me' look. He merely gestured down to the door with his head and a rough grunt.

"Thanks. I think." She got down on all fours and attempted to crawl through the door, lifting the fat on the side of his leg out of her way so that she had enough room to maneuver through the hole. The man's leg was sweaty and kept slipping out of her hands. She finally moved it enough so that she could slip through, no thanks to the fat man, who didn't even budge an inch to make her entry any easier. Her head and shoulders barely fit, and she had to squish her large chest painfully against her in order to pull them through. She sighed once they were on the other side and proceeded to pull herself through the rest of the way.

Then she got stuck. "Damnit!" Her butt was stuck in the entryway. She wiggled, and scooted as best as she could, but there was no moving it. She pounded her fists onto the ground in frustration. It was about ten minutes before she gave up and was about to start crying when she felt gentle hands lift her upper half up off of the ground. She looked up and gasped in surprise. It was a robot. A giant gorilla robot suit with a fishbowl head. There was a fish swimming inside of the head, and she could swear it was smiling at her!

It reached back to her stuck butt and twisted her body around in a sideways motion, then slid her through. It stood her upright and dusted her off.

"Er du ok glipp av?" it asked, and Roxanne's eyes bulged. The fish could talk too? She shook her head.

"I'm sorry I speak English. I don't know what you're saying," she admitted.

"I asked if you were okay, Miss," the fish repeated.

"You speak English?" she asked flabbergasted.

"My master taught me, yes." He seemed proud.

"Who—I mean, I'm fine thank you. What's your name?"

"Minion. I found it rather odd that Fai let you in. You are not a Minion," he commented, clearly perplexed.

"But I knew the 'Code'," Roxanne said.

"How did you learn it?" he asked.

"Someone told it to me. He also told me that after I got past the fat— er, Fai?— that I should try to locate a Doctor…uh… Glau? Geao? Um, Doctor Glar? Do you know where I might find him?"

"Are you an ambassador from another planet? I was unaware that anyone was to arrive. And the Metro's just left this morning. Can't you just 'hone-in' on the Doctor and go to him?" Minion asked her, walking over to a table. There were a lot of 'Minions' in here, she noted; many different fish in many different suits. They all had little antennas attached to the back of their heads. How clever. Perhaps that was how they spoke?

"'Hone-in'? What do you mean?" she asked as she sat down in the chair next to Minion.

"You're a Metro aren't you? From Metro Planet?" He ordered something Roxanne was unfamiliar with and handed his menu over to the waiter.

"No. I'm a homo sapien from planet Earth," she admitted, unsure of the fish's reaction.

He paused mid-way of placing his napkin over his leg— which was a funny gesture if you thought about it. A fish placing a napkin on his robotic body so as not to get it dirty from food that would enter his head-tank? Hilarious, and mind-boggling at the same time."Y-you're from where?"

"Earth. Is it bad? I thought I was still on Earth until a few minutes ago. Some blue-skinned man tried to take me to prison!"

"That's because to enter into the Mega Planet or any other planet in the Glaupunk Quadrant without its ruler's permission is illegal. Punishable by death Miss—er— what did you say your name was again?"

"It's Roxanne. Roxanne Ritchi. And please, I didn't know about any laws, I swear! I was at my grandparent's cow farm— oh!" She looked down noticing her overalls that were covered in dirt and sweat as if for the first time. No wonder everyone was treating her like some country bumpkin! She certainly looked like one! "Ugh. I'd feel more comfortable in my own clothes. Do you know where I can get some spares?"

"Not the things that you are wearing, but I may be able to get you something far more suitable. Give me a little time and I'll see what I can do." Minion signaled something to another fish that was behind, what looked like a bar to Roxanne, and the fish nodded and disappeared behind a curtain. Another waiter brought a bowl of small sardine-like fish, and set them in front of Minion. He also placed a plate in front of Roxanne. She winced, expecting fish also, but relieved that there was just some type of purple looking fruit.

"Thank you. As I was saying, I was on Earth, and just about to sit down under a tree outside, when I fell and landed on some green-eyed blue man here." She bit into the fruit, nervous about what she was eating, but she didn't want to seem rude. After all, Minion did order it for her. Thick juice gushed into her mouth and she was surprised to taste some odd flavors. Several she couldn't name but a few reminded her of the soda sprite mixed with fruit punch; an odd but pleasing combination. "This is delicious!" she exclaimed.

"Yes? It's a native fruit that only we Minions know how to grow. I'm pleased that you like it. It's called 'Passionis.' It's very popular with the in-crowd." He threw a small fish into his tank and she smiled as she watched him chased it around before capturing it and swallowing it whole. She found it odd that she didn't feel sorry for the smaller fish. The reason was probably because it was food.

They finished their meals silently due to hunger rather than having no ideas for conversational topics, and when they were done, Minion rose from his chair. "Come with me for a minute. I've located some clothes for you. Perhaps it will help people to feel more at ease when they see you." He led her back behind the bar where the other fish Minion had signaled something to earlier, was standing holding out a black outfit. The room was small and it looked like a type of break room where the employees could come and relax. She took the clothes from him and nodded to the other fish, unaware if he could speak English or not. The fish nodded back and walked out of the small room.

"It's black and blue. Like the other clothes I saw," Roxanne observed. "How come I can't have white?" she asked getting undressed. She wondered if she should hide or something, but Minion seemed unfazed by it, so she changed into the clothes in front of him. Best not make a mountain out of a mole hill.

"White is reserved for royals mostly. Or, well, high-class. The middle class wear light blue with dark blue trims."

"Does black mean I'm poor?" she asked, curious as to the whole color coded thing.

"Not exactly. Black and light blue trim means that you are royalty from another planet. It's very respectable. It also signals an 'outsider'. No one will question why a Metro-looking woman is wearing such a thing. It's easier to explain you this way rather than if you stayed in your own clothes anyhow. How does it fit? I hope I got the size right. And don't worry, it's supposed to be form fitting."

"It's great; very comfortable. I don't know this material though. It feels different, but nice. Thank you so much. You've been very kind to me when you didn't need to be, really. You could have treated me like the other people did and freak out."

"Oh, you just startled them is all. No one was afraid of you. I don't mean that as an insult, Miss Ritchi. It's just the truth. They weren't expecting another visitor so soon. The Metros just left this morning, you see, so you are a surprise," he commented as Roxanne admired her new wardrobe in the long mirror.

"Minion? What happens if they find out I'm not royal or high-class?" Roxanne asked turning to look him in the eyes.

"Well, make sure they don't." That's all the piscine offered with a shrugged. "Now come with me and we will go to Dr. Glar."

"Okay. Hey Minion? Do you know who that green-eyed blue man was I described earlier? You seemed like you recognized the description when I was talking about him," Roxanne asked as she followed Minion out of a back door and into an ally way. The outside world was glaringly bright compared to how she was feeling at the moment.

"Yes. He is the Prince of Mega Planet, and my Master."


Here is the corrected version of this chapter! Thank you to Emerald-Leaves who is a great Beta! I have a small group of individuals who really surprised me and came through for this fic to Beta! So as soon as I get the corrections on my terrible French. (Its not good enough for me to ruin my own language *English* I need to do it to the other countries as well, sorry guys!) But I think my French and German is okay at the moment, just some choice things I've messed up here which will be edited soon, the English grammar has been Beta'd so that's great! XD Chapter two is almost ready to explode on the scene, and I hope you all will enjoy it as well!

Circus Candies for ALL! Thanks for reading!