Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.
AN: I've been neglecting you Percy Jackson people in favor of Harry Potter! I deserted you! Sorry!
Prompt: Lost, yet another word for alone – in a sense. So why is wandering the broken path so hard if she knows there is no company?
The road of life is hard, and many work to face it, and yet, somehow it works past a person's defenses and crushes them, paying no mind to who or what it crushes.
That is, if you want to be deep. If not, then this will be so much easier. Life sucks. A lot.
I don't really know who I am, or who I'm going to be. I'm walking this path alone because of a mistake I made when I was less than a day from sixteen. I joined the Hunters of Artemis. It was cowardly, I know, and sometimes I wake up at night wondering, what if?
Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with my choice. Its better that Percy is the child of the prophecy, after all, I might have gone to the dark side because of my dad. Also, they have cookies.
This world is so big though, and I'm walking around lost in it. In a sense, lost is the same as alone. Lost on this road, travelling it alone. They're not complete synonyms, but close enough.
So, I'm lost. That's strange, the strong Thalia Grace admitting that she's lost. I'm not completely emotionless, you know. I can have the occasional emotion. Occasional, mind you.
Walking alone…taking this life alone is hard. Why? Why is it so hard if I know that I won't have any company? Even I can't answer that.
There have been offers of company, but I've turned them down. I have no idea why. Like with Conner Stoll. She offered to marry me-which I hope was a joke-and I tuned them down.
I've turned down so many offers over the three years. It was hard, but I finally admitted to myself why I turned everyone down, other than the obvious reason of absolutely no attraction. Nico di Angelo. I think I'm in love with the son of Hades, who would also be my cousin if gods had DNA. Which they don't, but still, it's somewhat strange.
Nico is one of the few people who haven't invited me to walk the broken path with them, and the one I most want to. I would quit the Hunters in two seconds for Nico.
Annabeth says that someday he'll come along, but somehow I won't let myself believe her. I'm just that stupid, I guess. Nico is completely oblivious of my feelings, try as I might to show them.
I'm not trying to say that I have nothing, but sometimes everything I do have overwhelms me, and I sink into depression completely. I'm not saying that I'm all the way gone, but that doesn't make it any easier. But it will get better. It has to. If it never gets better, then nobody would ever live past their teenage years. Of course, my teenage years go on forever unless I'm killed in battle, which is looking good by this point.
So I'm not doing anything stupid…yet.
"Thalia?" a voice called.
I shielded the words I was writing and turned to the voice in shock.
"Nico?" I spluttered, "What are you doing here?"
"I have no idea," he sighed, "I just broke up with Christina, and I guess I needed someone."
"Sure," I said, not wanting to think about all of his girlfriends. Nico was a bit of a player.
I turned back to my paper for a few seconds.
Of course, there has been 'love' for me before. Luke…my knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in tin foil. How depressing.
And now my new knight is a bit of a player, and his armor is really, really dented, and yet, solid. You see, he has a really strong mask and all. He just bounces all of his break ups off of me, and I never really know what to say.
If I quit the Hunters for him, would he get tired of me and throw me aside? I hope not, it's not in his nature, but he has been changing recently. It's almost undetectable, but there.
"Hey Thalia," Nico asked, "What cha' writing?"
"Nothing," I replied, struggling to hide the paper. Luckily, I succeeded, I can't imagine what would have happened if Nico had seen the contents of the paper that that moment.
As he turned his back to talk to Percy and Annabeth, who had wandered over, being all cute, coupleish and completely, utterly, disgusting, I returned to my musing.
He flirts so much, but I think he could be loyal, if he found the right person, and I think that I could be that right person, if he would be willing to consider me. Unfortunately, I seem to have been placed in the category of 'sister friend person who's a girl and gone most of the time, but she's okay to talk to in a pinch'. I hate that category. I also hate replacing Bianca in a way. Not completely, but it's there. A Hunter of Artemis that is at least somewhat his sister and he can trust.
He can trust me completely. I am such a sucker for pain, and I always fall for the crappy ones.
Exhibit A, sitting on the same rock as me, and flirting with Rachel who appeared out of nowhere while managing to have a conversation with Percy and Annabeth, who don't mind, because they're just that much into each other. Fun.
Exhibit B, who should probably be exhibit A, since I 'loved' him before I 'loved' Nico. Luke. He turned traitor and tried to kill me by poisoning my tree, and starting a war, etc.
Yeah, I don't make the best choices in men, do I?
I don't need to walk this broken path alone. That's what pisses me off. Really, I'm free to quit the Hunters at any time, though I would rather not unless I have to. They're like my sisters, and I don't want to abandon them without a good reason.
Until he notices me, I walk the broken path of life alone. Which shouldn't be so lonely, since I knew that there would be no company for me, but whatever.
An: The end. Another prompt completed, and I'm proud of that one. I hoped I stayed in character, I don't write Thalia much. Also, I like how I used the minim amount of dialogue needed, just enough so that it was there. Not I go back and…edit! Fun!
'Till next time, my friends.