The Numerous Tomfooleries of the Peach Girl and Her Confederation of Bandits
Chapter One: All's Fair in Love and More
One day, the persnickety peach-like maiden Momo set out to apprehend the school's hot-pocket burglar. Her high school was a haven of debauchery and infidelity. It just so happened that hot pockets were her favorite American food and thus she embarked on a quest to apprehend the one who kept stealing the breaded pouches of ham and cheese that she so lusted for.
She walked down the hallway and used her sleuthing skills to eventually deduct that it was Sae, her intolerable bag of a rival that was instigating these thefts. Momo eventually confronted Sae over this inhuman crime once the school day was over.
Sae was standing by the flag pole reading Atlas Shrugged. Momo had just about enough but had to know her motive.
"Why? Why would you take that which giveth me such divine pleasure?" She inquired.
"I believe you just answered your own question, bitch."
Sae threw the book as it became a projectile fireball. Momo back-flipped out of its path, but by the time she landed, Sae was engulfed in flames. Momo considered fighting back, but had no way of countering her powers of immolation. Suddenly, she heard a male voice from off in the distance.
"Hey Momo, water you waiting for?"
She turned to see her associate Kairi wielding a fire hose. He raised it up and fired it at full blast. The high pressure stream caught Sae head-on and she collapsed soaked and naked from having her clothes burned off.
Momo and Kairi approached the crumpled mess and interrogated her.
"Hot pockets. Where they at?"
Sae pointed at a crate not twenty feet away and began to focus on it. It began to smoke and the contents exploded into the air.
"If I can't have them, no one can!"
Momo stared into the sky with her mouth agape until she unintentionally caught one in her mouth. She lorded over her rival the taste of victory.
All of a sudden, a bright flash caught the three by surprise. From the hole of light erupted Toji, Momo's main squeeze, on a bitchin' futuristic motorcycle. Looking deadly serious, he made a profound declaration.
"You three, we have to travel to the past to save the future!"
"Right on!" Kairi responded, "But there's only room for two on your hog!"
Two sidecars materialized on each side of the vehicle. Kairi, Momo and even Sae boarded the monstrosity. Sae was no longer nude as her gang of personal fire gremlins brought in a skintight silver dress designed to withstand the flames. She kissed each of them goodbye and told them that they could experience freedom until she makes it back. Toji braced for another trip through time and space.
"First stop, San Fernando, 1951!"
The quartet blasted off into another time rip, expecting yet another interesting narrative device. Let's hope they're not disappointed!