The Bloody Rose
∘ ∘ Chapter Nine: Disclosure ∘ ∘
This is so impossible. It can't be him. He's not going to waste his money for helping. I know him. This is just so impossible. Azuma can't be the one who helped my sister find a donor and paid for Kamiko-neechan's operation. Or far much worse, he gave his eyes for my Onee-chan. He's not that kind of person. And how can he remember? He only met my sister eight years ago when he got stuck inside the house. No way, it just can't be. Of all the people in the world, he has to be the last person to ever help her. Anyone can be smelt of roses. Yes, anyone can be. But he's the only man I knew who posses that sort of fragrance.
But this is all just impossible. I have to reconsider on the matter. He said no connections. He might not be the person who helped Kamiko-niichan. I have to erase all his thoughts. It'd be better for me to have amnesia so I'd forget the disgusting and dreadful thing I did. I'm sickened of myself. There's no greater abhor than what I am to myself. I wasn't made for him and neither did he. Being so in love is just so hard. Being in love with two people is even harder. I love Len so much but I loved Azuma first. I had the taste of perfection and let it slip away. Azuma's right, I'm such a stupid idiot. Len, on the other hand, is always there for me. Determined to protect me and love me with all that he is. Isn't this perfection enough? Why am I not fully satisfied with him? Why is there something that's missing when I'm with him?
I hate myself for loving these two people. I have caused so much discord. I hate myself so much. I'm killing Len painfully and unknowingly, and the worst of it—is slowly. I don't know how or when he'll find out but I know he will. It will be better if I tell him to lessen the hurt but it's still the same thing. It will hurt him. There's no way of softening the impact of the situation. I don't want top guns and sharp blades. I want to avoid that.
It's been two weeks and two days after that night. I wonder how he'd been.
"Rose," Len's soft caressing voice interrupted her thoughts. "Are you okay? You're very silent." His eyes locked on the road. Len was focused on driving to avoid any accidents since he's just new to this kind of thing.
Kahoko looked at his direction from the passenger's seat. She gulped hard then spoke. "I-I'm alright. There's nothing bothering me" she lied.
"Are you thinking about your phone?" he asked. "Don't worry we'll get that fixed. The model is very hard to find, but I talked to one of my techie-friends, they said they'll get it fixed by the day after tomorrow. So don't be bothered okay?"
"Don't worry, I'm not." She smiled falsely.
"Then, you're worried about Misa?" Len smiled at a glimpse of her. "Don't you worry, she'll top bragging about having a baby. I talked to her and explained that we need to take our time. She understands" it's as if his voice is one of his violin masterpieces on his recitals.
"A . . . baby." She whispered.
"If you were to be asked, you want a girl or a boy?" Len's eyes were locked on the road though his thoughts are focused on the topic.
"I don't know. Either. I like both genders" her voice was a bit frail.
"How . . . many do you like?" Kahoko cringed at his question.
"Uh . . . uh-uhm . . ." she mumbled. She doesn't really know what to say.
"Kahoko, love, we need to start planning our family. We can't live our lives with just us. A family isn't a family without children. With that we'll just be called a couple" he was a little shy about the matter yet he had no reason to be since Kahoko is his wife now.
"I know but can't it wait until we get a house?" she gulped. "A real house I mean, not a condo. We'll be neglecting the child of its play area if we stayed there."
"Okay . . . I guess that's important too" his tone was glum.
Len stopped the car engine as soon as they reached the driveway of his former house, the Tsukimori Residences.
"Hi Mom," he embraced his mother in a tight hug.
"I missed you, son." Misa hugged back.
"Konnichiwa, Okaa-san" Kahoko bowed in respect. Misa approached Kahoko and threw her arms to her.
"Konnichiwa ne, my daughter-in-law" she greeted with a smile.
During lunch time, Misa forgot her agreement with her son and began to talk about having a grandchild. "I want my first granddaughter to be named Rei or Hikaru. If it was a grandson, I want the name Hiroshi or Akihiro Daichi."
"Ma," Len's smooth voice resonated inside the dining room. "I told you we don't want to rush this kind of matter."
"Sorry, son, I forgot." She apologized.
"Okaa-san, we're actually thinking of raising enough money for a house and prepare for the child's needs." Kahoko said in her gentle tone. "Just to be sure that we can provide his . . . or her adequate necessities"
"I understand dear." Misa took a sip of her orange juice with perfect posture. "But I'm not getting younger. Someday soon, I'll be in a wheelchair but before that happens, I want to see my grandchildren graduate a prominent music college."
"Ma, please, we're preparing for it." Len leaned closer to his mother's ear. "Kahoko isn't ready. Maybe she needs just a little extra time. Right now isn't really it"
Kahoko and Len stayed until evening in the Tsukimori residences but they have to leave soon since t was a bit late and Len was going to have an interview at a morning show tomorrow dawn.
"Kahoko, Rose, mind if I take a shower first?" Len gestured for the lavatory.
"Yeah sure." Kahoko replied while taking off her heels. "Take your time"
After bathing, Len noticed a plastic placed inside the first aid box on the wall. He instantly became curious and opened the plastic and found the sanitary napkins he had bought two weeks ago, unused. 'If she had a period, she should have used this.'
"Kahoko" he called from the inside of the bathroom. Kahoko opened the door, revealing her half-naked husband holding the pack.
"What is it?" she asked, immediately looking at the thing in his hands.
"Uh . . . this . . . you didn't use it?" he looked at her with a doubting expression.
"Uhm-uhh . . . I-it's . . . ," Kahoko muttered in a startling voice. "It's because I . . . I don't use that brand" she lied.
"Oh," he was a bit disappointed. Not because she didn't use what he had bought but because he didn't know what she uses. He hated himself a little bit because of that little glitch.
"Don't worry about that, I'll use it next time, promise" she took the thing from him and placed it back inside the cabinet. "Uhm, can I use the bathroom now?"
Len hugged Kahoko in a swift abrupt motion. "Sorry" he whispered.
"Len, that's not a big deal and besides, it's a woman-thing. Don't overreact. It's okay" she tried to clear his panic. "Isn't this bothering you? I'm all sweaty and stinky and you just got cleaned."
"No, it doesn't. I'll hug you as tight as I can even if you're covered in thick layers of mud."
Kahoko hugged back her expression turned weak. "I love you Len."
"I love you too"
"Here, it's fixed." Len handed Kahoko her phone. "It was just a minor glitch, don't worry, nothing got erased."
"Sorry, I'll never drop it again so I'd avoid troubling you." She grabbed the phone from him. "Thank you"
"It's nothing really."
Kahoko sat on the couch while Len was preparing for his recital at 1:30pm. Kahoko stared t the wallpaper of her phone, a picture of her and Len in a sweet position. Len's hand on her waist while Kahoko's arms were tightly wrapped in his neck, their cheeks touched one another, truly, this scene is priceless. She smiled, then she was reminded of hoe lucky she is to have Len as her husband. Suddenly, her phone began to ring, so loud that the sound echoed to the hall of the condo tower. She then looked at the date and the popping out icon in the phone.
72 MESSAGES RECEIVED
(Insufficient Memory: Delete old Messages?)
(1) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Monday 2:54 am~ I'm sorry i can't last for two weeks, I know you said no communications, but i just can't help myself not to message you on your mobile. It's just I miss you so much. It's okay if you don't reply as long as you still have my presence.
(2) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Monday 8:31am ~ I wish you're here with me
(3) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Monday 8:32am ~ I can't sleep
(4) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Monday 8:45am ~ How's your sister? I hope she is recovering well. If ever she rejected the eyes, I knew another eye donor.
(5) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Tuesday 9:02am ~ it's probably morning at your time zone, good morning :)
(6) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Tuesday 2:37pm ~ I heard Ave Maria while i was walking to work. Reminded me of you. Take care
(7) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Tuesday 3:12pm ~ I'm bored at work, same old same old. Repeating the pattern every day. Just sick of it.
(8) Fr: +12233456789 (not registered) 4:38pm ~ Get a chance to win a brand new Sony Vaios v9.3 Laptop by just texting replying to this message . .
(9) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Wednesday 4:01pm ~ I skipped lunch. I don't feel like eating anything.
(10) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Wednesday 6:14pm ~ im w/ me bext frend, chhampagne.
(11) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Wednesday 8:55am ~ I miss you.
(12) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 11:55am ~ Hi.
(13) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 4:43pm ~ Hey :)
(14) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 8:57pm ~ You okay?
(15) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 8:58pm ~ I'm so pathetic, huh?
(16) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 9:00pm ~ International Messaging is pathetic when there's the internet but surely you'll block me in your facebook or twitter. I don't want that.
(17) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 9:03pm ~ what time is it there? It's 5am here.
(18) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Thursday 9:10pm ~ Who's cooking Len or you?
(19) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Friday12:01am ~ did you ever think i'm handsome?
(20) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Friday 12:12am ~ I always like the way you look in pigtails back in high school.
(21) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Friday 12:23am ~ I miss to hear you play
(22) Fr: Yunoki Azuma `Friday 12:25am ~ I feel such a desperate imbecile. Please reply. I love you.
There are more messages from Azuma but she didn't read further after she read the last message from him. It was very touching and flattering but the acceptance of the "I love you" is illegal to a committed woman. Just reading anything from what he sent means infidelity, so what's the point of reading all the messages. Temptation, lust and gluttony are all forms of iniquity, it was what she did, and there was no greater abhorrence than what she has for herself. But what kept her travelling the road of life, indeed and apparently, is Len. But it cannot cover the fact that she hates herself for liking the verity that Azuma said I love you to her. It was a sin; another negative strike on her purity, if she had any left inside of her.
DELETE ALL MESSAGES?
Well I don't have to read everything just to know what runs in his mind. Azuma never felt so warm, cozy and most especially, opened his thoughts to me. Unlike when they were high school but all connections from him must stop here. No more. I don't want to commit any sin, if I hated myself more, I might kill myself, thus, killing Len as I did. Yes. I know I'm stabbing Len on his back for not telling him what happened to me and Azuma. But I can't take a risk and tell him. I don't want him to learn that from my lips but it will be twice as agonizing if he learned it by himself. I don't want that. Either way. So I'll tell him at the right time. Maybe when we have a child but not now. Certainly not now. Kahoko placed the phone on the table beside the couch.
"Kaho, rose, I'm going now" Len came out of their bedroom.
"Take care, I love you, Len" Kahoko stood up and locked her arms on his neck then kissed him goodbye.
MsDayDream Notes: I'm very sorry, cause I've been so busy with this Christmas preparations since were running a very exhausting business here. Please understand. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! For those who're still reading my fictions, thank you so much, God Bless and happy reading.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. PLEASE KEEP SUPPORTING! PLEASE REVIEW :)
~FanFiction by: MsDayDream~