The Tape Recorder
by: cutecrazyice


There is something deliciously forbidden about being trapped in a small, remote village with your teammates posing as your brothers and your ex-sensei posing as your lover.

Especially the ex-sensei-posing-as-your-lover part.

"Two rooms, please," Kakashi stated to the receptionist, eyes crinkling when the receptionist slowly gazed at him from head to toe, a blush growing on her cheeks and a hungry look taking over her eyes. The flirty move was so obvious, it made Sakura want to snort.

Okay, so maybe the Hokage had specifically declared that the brothers would be Naruto and Kakashi, and the lover would be Sasuke – which was why Sasuke was now standing beside her dutifully, assuming an intimate position. But there was no harm in reversing a few roles, right?

A bit irritated when the receptionist deliberately stuck out her ass while she bent down to retrieve the keys, the pink-haired kunoichi immediately stepped forward beside Kakashi, linking her arm through his. When the receptionist turned around, the eager grin instantly turned upside down.

Sakura smiled sweetly.

"Yes, two rooms. One for my brothers, and one for my lover and me," she said, leaning her head on Kakashi's shoulder for emphasis. It was a toss-up on who was more surprised – the receptionist, Naruto or Sasuke.

Thankfully, the silver-haired jounin remained as stoic as ever.

The surprised look on the receptionist's face quickly turned suspicious, as a sneer came across her mouth.

"I thought he was your lover," she blurted out, tone slightly accusing. She was obviously referring to the Uchiha.

Sasuke remained silent, waiting for somebody else to explain.

"He's my brother," Sakura simply stated.

"You don't look alike," the receptionist said doubtfully.

Sakura shrugged. "Well, we're stepsiblings, to be more precise. And he's my stepbrother, too." She motioned towards Naruto, who was trying not to look too confused.


To prove her point, Sakura sighed and tiptoed to place a soft kiss on her so-called lover's cheek—

And ended up kissing his mask-covered mouth when he turned his head towards her.

Naruto gawked. Sasuke raised a brow.

The receptionist glared, handing the keys sullenly.

Ten minutes later, with any possible witnesses gone and the hotel rooms looming right in their line of vision, Naruto finally spoke the words that he had been dying to shout out earlier.

"What the hell, Sakura-chan?" he yelled. Sasuke shushed him in warning, whispering slowly that that amount of racket would cause them to be heard.

"I don't care!" the blond hissed, though his voice was lower now. "What do you think you're doing?"

Sakura sighed. "It's way better if Kakashi was my lover."

Naruto gaped.

"I meant for the mission," she clarified, glaring at him. "Get your mind out of the gutter."

There was a pause (while Naruto was trying to comprehend everything), before Sasuke finally spoke.

"And why is that, Sakura?" he asked, not looking resentful at all. In fact, he looked mildly curious.

"I'd like to know, too," Kakashi murmured beside him.

Well, because I heard this bimbo nurse in the hospital declare that she first-handedly knew you were a very good kisser, and I would very much like to prove her wrong, Inner Sakura muttered vehemently.

Outer Sakura smiled innocently. "Well, because Sasuke is too proper to do moaning noises."

"M – moaning noises?" Naruto choked out, turning pale.

"Yes," she replied. "Obviously we're a couple who are completely enamored with each other, and want to do the dirty deed as soon as possible – plenty of times. Especially now, since my overprotective brothers are not in the same room. The moaning will help people think we're in our room all day and all night long, screwing each other's brains out – when in fact, we're scoping out the area to find the scroll."


"I don't get it," Naruto blurted out, extremely baffled. "How can you be moaning when you're not in the room?"

Sasuke sighed, and took out something from his pocket. "So that's why you made me bring this. Pretty clever."

From the Uchiha, that was already a huge compliment – and something they did not think about when they pretended to be lovers on their previous mission, and almost got busted. Sakura beamed, getting the small gadget in his hand and tucking it safely in her own pocket. Then she nodded at everyone, hefted her backpack on her shoulder, and chirped loudly (for whoever might be eavesdropping), "Well, see you tomorrow, little brother! And don't you dare bother me and my darling Kakashi."

Sasuke smiled slightly in irony, obviously remembering his brother's term for him. Naruto muttered how cooler it would have been to be called big brother, arguing that he definitely looked bigger and older than her – and then warning Kakashi not to try anything perverted.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Kakashi replied firmly.

They parted ways.


Haruno Sakura was a calculated planner. She wasn't like Naruto, who went headfirst into any situation without thinking of the consequences or repercussions. She wasn't like Sasuke, either, who would leave behind everything and everyone just to achieve his plan, to see it come to fruition. She strategized, adjusted – when plan A didn't work, there was always plan B. When plan B didn't work, too, there was still plan C, and so on and so forth.

Kissing Kakashi was part of her plan – sometime later, when she gathered enough courage and guts to do it.

Spontaneously kissing him wasn't.

The masked kiss would not leave her mind, much as she'd like it to. To distract herself, she loudly enumerated the things they were supposed to do, knowing this was completely useless because she – along with the rest of the team – had already memorized this part by heart, the only minor detail being switching the roles between the two men.

"So Naruto and Sasuke will scope out the perimeter of the building, right after the daimyo of village Onzei arrives tomorrow. They will mingle with the daughters to search for clues while we check every room, while pretending to be inside our room and—"

"Screwing our brains out," Kakashi supplied helpfully.

Sakura tried not to blush. "Er, yeah."

He shrugged, unzipping his traveling bag and pulling out his always-present orange book. "Pretty basic."

Frowning at the book, she tried not to glare as she took out the gadget from her pocket.

"Well, the voice recorder's ready. I bought a blank tape before the mission. We should be able to record at least an hour of sounds and just keep replaying it."

"Okay. Good thinking."

As his attention focused back to the little porn, she didn't know whether to scream in frustration or laugh manically.

How was she supposed to get the guy to kiss her – because no way in hell was she going to initiate it first, after what happened earlier – when he was so blatantly indifferent?

"Alright, I'm turning it on." And she did, teeth gritting.

He ignored her and flipped a page.

Inwardly sighing, the pink-haired kunoichi sat on the nearest couch and seethed.

"Oh, Kakashi, what are you doing? Are you taking my clothes off?" she said loudly, trying to make her voice sound breathless. "Oh, oh, oh…"

"That is so fake, Sakura," he said, eyes still on the book.

Her frown deepened. "I—"

"Maybe you should start with a moan," he suggested.

"Maybe you should stop reading trash," she snapped.

"What trash?" he asked jovially, obviously trying to provoke her. But he did close the book with a decided snap. Then he stood up, rewound the tape, and nodded his head at her.

"Try moaning." Then he played the gadget.

She hesitated, a bit unsure now that he was observing her. But a mission was a mission.

And oh, boy, the satisfaction of proving that woman wrong, even if this tape recorder thing was a stupid idea…

She determinedly closed her eyes and uttered a low, soft moan.

He stopped recording. "That doesn't sound convincing."

Her eyes snapped open and she pouted. "But that's a kissing moan."

He shook his head. "Look, if you want this to be convincing, your moan must portray the message that no other man is going to keep you distracted from your activities with your lover." To emphasize his point, he strode over to the thin walls separating their room from the other two, and knocked softly.

"Convinced?" he asked, raising his voice.

A pause.

"Keep practicing," Sasuke replied, his voice low but clear through the wall.

Kakashi's eyes crinkled. "See? Now do it again." He rewound, stopped, played.


"No. Again."

Rewind, stop, play.


"Not convincing."

"I was trying to talk!" she snapped.

"You're supposed to moan, Sakura. Try imagining something…pleasant."

She folded her arms, glaring at him. Then, with a resigned sigh, she closed her eyes.

Now what should she imagine? Bright clouds? Sunny meadows? She was pretty sure that wasn't what he meant when he said pleasant things. She should really concentrate and think seriously of the pleasant things that could help her out. Like…physical things.

Arousing things.

Slowly, she imagined a mouth whispering words in her ear – sweet, dirty, low. Then she imagined hands roaming, tracing here, cupping there…marking, sure and swift. She imagined a body looming over hers, taller and bigger and pressing closer, naked and oh-so-hard. All over. She imagined the voice, rough and raspy and desperate, asking her if she liked what he was doing. If she wanted more.

Unbidden, the taste of Kakashi's masked lips came to mind, and before she knew what she was doing, she moaned softly.

"That's it. That's it, baby."

Kakashi's voice penetrated her reverie – rough, low, raspy. Alarmed, breath uneven, she opened her eyes to find him gazing at her steadily.

"Would you like more? Do you like what I'm doing to you?"


She blinked.

Oh. Yeah. The recorder was still on. Directing her gaze at it, she couldn't help but notice his hand, and the way his thumb rubbed the stop/play button in slow, lazy circles.

"I…I do," she whispered, throat suddenly dry.



"…you're still not very convincing."

Suddenly she didn't want to do this anymore. It was getting complicated, and maybe it just wasn't worth it.

"Then maybe you should kiss me or something," Sakura muttered in irritation under her breath, fully expecting him not to hear.


Nor to obey.

The next thing she knew, she was grabbed around the waist and pulled forward. And then before she could so much as squeal, she was suddenly placed on top of his lap, with her arms on his shoulders and his hands on her waist. She opened her mouth to protest—

And was promptly interrupted when she found his masked mouth just inches away, just like her imagination.

"Don't speak a word," he said in a low voice. The order, for some reason, sent a tingle down her spine.

She began to speak for the hell of it, then stopped, as her breath quickened. He was going to kiss her, wasn't he? This was the time to get it over with, wasn't it?

Oh, Kami. Oh, Kami.

Nervous, Sakura nodded and closed her eyes, waiting for those lips to touch hers so she could tell bimbo nurse she did it and didn't think it was that good (because it wasn't! That masked kiss was barely even felt!) and—

He didn't kiss her. Instead, he placed one hand under her shirt and began to rub her stomach softly.

Blinking in surprise, her eyes opened and flew to his, only to find him observing her. The mask was gone. She could see his nose, just a hairbreadth away from hers – the perfect alignment for their mouths to come in contact with each other.

Yes, and kiss and make out and grind against each other, then rip each other's clothes off and plunge—

"Um," she murmured stupidly, forgetting his earlier instruction. She was about to see his mouth. Oh, hell. Inner Sakura goaded her to take a good look and she obeyed, slowly trailing her eyes down—

"Why aren't you moaning?" he interrupted.

"Huh?" she asked automatically, still intent on looking—

She froze when his hand began to travel up and caress the skin below her right breast. She shivered out of her own accord. Immediately, her eyes flew to his again.

"Kakashi!" she hissed, voice unsteady as she summoned chakra in her hands, ready to pummel him to the ground—

"I heard your talk with Ino."

The chakra left her hands as she gaped at him. What?

"What about Ino—"

"About nurse Mayuri. You talked to Ino about it."


"I was beside you in the bar, when you and Ino met up. And talked about how I have buck teeth, and would never be a good kisser like she claimed. You were laughing, and then you got mad because she knows how I kiss and you don't."


"You were too drunk to notice." He whispered the words – whether because the two boys were just next door or because he just wanted to whisper, she didn't know. His breath skittered along her jaw, leaving that whole side tingling. She felt herself flushing, and could not help it. He was so…close. So…in control, as the hand below her breast traced, as soft as the most delicate flutter.

So hot. So muscled and warm and hard and—

His next words had her snapping out of her so-called trance.

"So you're trying to get me to kiss you to get even with her, aren't you? Because you don't like her. That is so you, Sakura."

Her temper flared. Pushing him into the sofa and standing up, she began to wave her fists in the air, ready for battle. It didn't matter that she now got a good look at his face and could not find anything wrong with it – in fact, it was such an appealing face that Inner Sakura couldn't help squealing in delight – because he had just…just…what had he done, exactly?

Oh, yeah. Accused her of scheming. And probably had some sordid affair with nurse bimbo.

Her eyes fired up at the thought.

"What the hell do you mean that is so me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? What are you implying, you arrogant – hmmf!"

He was fast – that was the only thing that came to mind when she felt herself pushed until her butt was wedged in a dresser and he was in front of her.

Then all words were muffled as his face lowered and his mouth attached itself to hers. She tried to get away, but he wouldn't let her, his hands keeping her shoulders in place in a firm grip. She pushed.

He pushed back, until his body was pressed against hers and electricity began to sizzle in her system.

The pervert! The ass! The unbelievably arrogant, smug…good kisser.

Oh. Oh, Kami.

It wasn't the hard, clumsily passionate kiss she got when she first started dating a civilian five years her senior. It also wasn't the soft, perfunctory kiss she got from Sasuke on their mission when they pretended to be husband and wife.

No. This kiss was slow, deliberate – a lazy seduction that had her mind clouding in lust before she had the sense to pull it away from that state, even as her belly coiled when his tongue came out to touch her lower lip, sensually exploring as if he owned it. Her breath hitched, and he confidently took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue right in, tasting hers.

The heat in her stomach cheerfully made its way downward, like a bullet searing and rendering her completely immobile as her legs slowly turned to jelly. To support herself, she placed her palms behind her, flat on the dresser's edges.

Okay, point taken. He was a good kisser. A really, really good kisser. But seriously, how did flirty nurse Mayuri know?

She came up with only one conclusion – one she didn't like.

"You kissed her," she accused in a murmur, feeling so dirty for saying it while still being kissed by him. Her brain told her to push him away.

Her body stayed.

"No," he replied.

"But how did she—"

"I don't know."

"Why would she say—"

"I don't know."

"Seriously." She tried not to move restlessly as his mouth cruised down to her shoulder. "Why would she—"

"Maybe she's trying to make you jealous."

"I am not jealous!"


"I am not!"


"I am—"

"Shut up, Sakura."

His voice had turned dark, commanding. He slid one hand under her chin, cupping her jaw and nipping her lips hungrily until they turned swollen and her brain scrambled. Then his mouth wandered to the side, kissing every inch of her skin.

"…Kakashi? Why…are you…kissing me?"

"Because you want me to."

"I never said—"

"Actions, Sakura. You're a smart girl. You know what you want."

"You are so conceited – mff!"

Suddenly, she was flipped over until she faced the dresser, and his front pressed against her back.

"I'm not conceited," he whispered hoarsely against her ear. "And I want to hear you moan."

She opened her mouth to protest, because no way was she going to moan for this man, no matter how desirable he had suddenly become.

Or maybe he was already very desirable even before the mask got removed, but you just wouldn't admit it to yourself, Inner Sakura goaded.

No. No. He wasn't desirable. He was her teacher and older than her and she must therefore get away now before things got too tangled up and it was too late to—

Her thoughts halted abruptly when his one hand suddenly slid under her skirt, and without further ado, went straight for the place where the unbearable heat was centered. Against her panties, his calloused thumb pressed.

She panicked, even as fireworks burst in her vision and her voice formed the sound he'd been waiting to hear.

"Kakashi, what…oh, oh," she moaned, biting her lip to stop it from becoming louder. Her hands tightened on the edges of the dresser, and she bent forward a bit to try to stop the sensation – but all it did was place her butt right where his own heat was centered, and she felt him, gloriously hard.

Restlessly, unconsciously, she ground against him.

He groaned, trying to stifle it, even as his unoccupied hand pulled her back up and his earlier thumb rubbed sensually, the friction of the cloth causing her eyes to close and her world to tilt.

"You're so wet."

"Nggh…" She was incoherent. She was sinful.

She was burning in pleasure.

"Moan for me, Sakura," he rasped, teeth tugging on her ear before quickly trailing down to nip at her neck, then greedily suck on it. She moaned – louder this time.

From afar, Naruto's voice floated, reluctantly cheerful.

"Eww, you guys sound disgusting! But it all sounds real now, especially with that argument thing you got going on! Great improvement, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura's eyes fluttered open just in time to hear Kakashi say shut up, Naruto as he placed the tape recorder in front of her, clicking it three times.

Stop. Rewind.


Then he turned her back to face him, kissing her again before pulling back to watch her reaction as he slid her skirt up and positioned himself between her thighs. Their harsh breaths mixed as she removed her hands from the dresser and clawed at his shoulders before gripping desperately. His eyes darkened with lust.

Then he slid a finger inside. Two fingers.

And he slowly thrust deep.

It wasn't long before Sakura lost all control of her inhibitions, and screamed. Not to be beaten (because, hell, she was competitive), she proceeded to make him lose control of his, too.


In the other room, Naruto covered his head with a pillow, whining loudly.

"How long are they going to keep that moaning racket up? They've been practicing for an hour now and it's too damn loud!"

Beside him, Sasuke sighed, trying not to flush as Sakura screamed Kakashi's name in pleasure over and over again.

He hoped the blond moron wouldn't figure out the truth and blow their cover. Pulling his own pillow over his head, he sighed again.

It was going to be a long night.


a/n: Thanks to smos/thecrazypot for beta-ing this. Any additional mistakes are mine.

Have fun reading! Reviews are definitely appreciated. :D