What if Relena was indeed shot by Dekim Barton in Endless Waltz? How will the Perfect Soldier cope when the princess holds on to dear life? How could he have been too late?

Feelings Deep Inside

"My feelings will reach you, I know they will
They'll fly over anything that stands in their way
My feelings will reach you, chasing hope
The tears flow
Can't you imagine it?"

~Kimochi wa Tsutawaru by BoA~


"If you wish to shoot me, go right ahead. I'm prepared to die!" said Relena Darlian, dressed in her diplomatic uniform, as she bravely turned and faced Dekim Barton.

An arrogant laugh came from the old man wearing the uniform of the Barton Foundation on the opposite side. "Then I'll tell you the truth before you die. The public is always expected to obey the victor!" He swiftly pointed his gun at the Vice Foreign Minister's chest and fired. The sound of the bullet leaving the gun and piercing through Relena's chest filled the room.

"Miss Relena!" shrieked Mariemeia as she covered her mouth with her hands; her eyes wide with horror when Relena fell backwards on the cold hard floor.

Dekim laughed at the sight of Relena's blood gushing out of her body and was quickly staining the floor. "The princess is dead! And total pacifism dies with her!"

He went on, "Now we need a new leader! We can always create a replacement for Mariemeia! I made her after all!" exclaimed Dekim when he pointed his gun next at Mariemeia.

"Dekim!" shouted Lady Une with pure disgust. She pointed her own gun at the mad old man. Before she had the chance to pull the trigger, a bullet hit Dekim on the head, which was fired by his subordinate who was standing by his side. Dekim fell to the ground soaked in his own blood.

Trembling, the man who had shot Dekim said, "I've executed the rebel. I express my apologies for betraying His Excellency, Treize." He and the others then saluted; silence filled the room.

The Barton family had fallen.

"Relena," said a voice coming from the doorway.

Everybody turned towards the door at the back of the room as the Gundam pilot who had destroyed the fortress' shield came to view. The Prussian-eyed, brown-haired Heero Yuy looked terribly weary. He had cuts and bruises on his face and bare arms, and his jeans were also partly torn. Nobody moved as he let go of the gun he was holding, and began to walk, or limp rather, towards the center of the room.

He half-dragged his own body as he walked. He almost fell down a couple of times, but he did not stop. Still, nobody moved and tore their eyes away from the pilot even when he kneeled beside the fallen Vice Foreign Minister, whose white uniform was now almost entirely red from her blood. Her eyes were half-closed; her body lifeless. The small hole on her chest where the bullet hit was clearly visible.

Only the quiet sobbing of Mariemeia can be heard as she clung on to Lady Une's arm.

The pilot leaned forward and reached for Relena. He gently lifted her head centimetres away from the ground and cradled her head in his left arm, while his free hand lightly brushed her cheek. He looked at her pale face with piercing eyes as if mentally commanding her to wake up. But she didn't. She did not move. He placed his hand on the side of her neck and felt a weak, slow pulse.

She's still alive.

He said her name again. His hand gently moved her face to his direction. Everyone in the room watched as he then leaned further towards the Vice Foreign Minister, so closely that they thought he was about to kiss her. Instead, his lips lingered by her ear.

Lady Une, who was standing right in front of the two lovers, or so they thought, saw the pilot still slouched, and tried to speak to Relena. His words were inaudible and he mouthed the words so softly that Lady Une knew that those words were only for the woman in his arms.

A confession? Lady Une thought. She had been with the two since the war began in After Colony 195, and everyone acquainted with the two had always been confused with their ambiguous relationship. Relena loves him no doubt. And they, too, felt that the Perfect Soldier had feelings for the Peacecraft princess – feelings that goes beyond his over protectiveness about her safety. But the two still went on separate ways.

Now that it had come to this, Lady Une wondered if Heero was about to finally confess his feelings once and for all, given the grave situation that Relena was in. But God forbid that Relena Darlian shall die in this place.

Everybody knew that time was running out for the Vice Foreign Minister. She visibly had already lost a huge amount of blood and who knows what internal parts of her body was hit by the bullet. But still, everybody stayed where they were as they watched the brunet young man seemingly attempt to bring her back to life.

"Fight it, Relena. Peace is here. You have to make it," whispered Heero on her ear as he fought his own exhaustion, as well as the appalling feeling that was flooding his whole being. How could I have been too late?

He closed his eyes as he fought the urge to fall down tiredly and also the feeling of guilt creeping on him. He had failed her. He had failed her just like the little girl who kept on haunting his consciousness. He had tried so hard to wash away the smell of blood from his hands and erase the memory of the little girl and her dog that he had indirectly killed. Just when he thought that with the fall of the Barton family he can finally let go of the past, this happened. Again, he asked himself, "How could I have been too late?"

"Heero?"

The Gundam pilot immediately lifted his head when he heard her say his name ever so softly. Or was he just imagining it? It may have been true since almost everyone in the room gasped in surprise.

"It's me," he said monotonously, but his eyes conveyed a mixture of relief, surprise, and worry. He looked at her as she tried so hard to focus her vision on him.

"You...came," said Relena, gasping for breath. "Is... it... over?"

Heero nodded. "Yes."

"I'm glad." She forced a smile. "Live life, Heero... You... deserve... it." Her chest rose, indicating how much she tried to get some air. "I'm... glad... to see you... one last... time."

Live life? How was he going to live life when he knew that if she did won't make it, he will regret it for the rest of his life. How can he live life when the very person who he swore to protect died in his arms? No. If Relena won't make it, he won't as well.

"Fight it, Relena. You have to live," said Heero. He realized that he was now trembling. He felt as if every word that left Relena's mouth and every attempt she did to breathe seemed to stab him through the chest.

"I'm sorry... for being weak," she said weakly. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

Weak? The word felt like an insult to the Gundam pilot. "You're the strongest I've ever met."

"Thank... you... Heero... for everything," said Relena, her voice becoming even weaker. A tear came from each of her eyes and Heero felt as though he was being torn apart.

"I... love you..." she added before closing her eyes, which made more tears fall. Her whole body went lifeless in an instant.

Mariemeia was crying hard now as she made no effort to stifle her cries. She felt guilty about everything that transpired. She was the one who dragged Relena Darlian into this mess. And her unprecedented desire for power ended up being the Vice Foreign Minister's demise.

Lady Une embraced the little girl. She,too, still cannot believe what happened before their eyes.

"Relena," said Heero as he lightly nudged her head, desperately hoping to hear her voice again. "Keep talking, Relena. Talk to me, I'm here." He lowered his head, his face not visible to the others around him.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Talk to me," he whispered as he held her close. Exhaustion was taking over his body; he would not last any longer.

A lone tear helplessly escaped from his eye and cascaded down his cheek. How can he feel this way? How can he feel this pain and guilt when years before he might have been the one who will bring her this kind of fate.

"I promise you; I will never kill again," he said before blacking out.


Author's Note! ^_^

Heya, I'm back with a new story! Well this is not entirely new since a story with a similar plot has already been written before by cocobyrd87. But still, I just felt this need to write my own version of it. ^_^

This chapter's short, I know. But I do promise that the next chapter will be longer. I just think it's good enough to end the chapter like this instead of continuing any further.

R&R guys! ^_^ Have a nice day! Ja!

Song credits: Feelings Deep Inside is originally a Japanese song by BoA. Original title: Kimochiwa tsutawaru. English translation by megchan.

Link to megchan's website is on my profile page.