What a Mess Life is…

Bella Swan

"Edward Cullen!" I squealed, struggling to take my phone out of his hand.

"Yes?" He said, with a grin while tightening his grip on my phone.

"Stop it!" I said, trying to pry his fingers away my phone.

"Bella, I've been playing the drums since I was nine. You know you aren't going to win." Edward said, while I continued to give all my effort to free my phone from his hands. I actually was just waiting for my phone's password lock to activate but I had to wait five minutes before it would activate. But I had to keep him from using my phone before it activated.

Edward Cullen was my best guy friend, we'd been friends since we were kids. We hadn't always been this close but we were now. Alice Cullen was my best friend and was also Edward's sister. Alice had always told me that I would end up dating Edward but I never believed her. Edward and I were such great friends, I would never want to lose his friendship.

Finally my password lock activated so I let Edward have my phone and when he went to use it he realized it was lock.

"Bella!" He complained, while I giggled. He began trying to figure out my password but it was pointless. Eventually he gave up but wouldn't give me my phone back, instead he put it in his pocket.

"I got myself a new iphone," he said, trying to taunt me.

"Okay, mister I'm so rich I own like four iphones." I said, rolling my eyes. We laughed for a few minutes before he sobered down and was suddenly really quiet.

"What's wrong? Is there something you want to talk about?" I asked, turning in the driver's seat in my car to face him. We were parked in the city park just hanging out in my car. There wasn't much to do in Forks after ten o'clock at night.

"It's just everything that happened with this other girl." He said, looking out at the trees in the park.

"I'm sorry Edward," I said, looking at the tree in front of my truck. Edward and Tanya had started breaking up back in February, they had continued to get back together and break up several times through the spring semester. Finally, finals week they broke up for good.

Ever since the first time they broke up Edward had been texting me all the time, most of the time he was really upset. And for a while I didn't know the real story behind their break up. When I found out the real story it all made sense why he was so upset. Edward had lost his virginity to this girl and then found out she only liked him when they were messing around. Edward felt so stupid, I hadn't even realized he was a virgin until a few weeks ago. I had always thought he'd lost it with previous girlfriends.

To most guys this wouldn't have been a big deal but we were all religious, even Tanya was religious but not as religious as Edward and I apparently. Edward said that he had never thought he would have sex with her but she is the one who brought it up. The first time he had said no, I can't. But then later on she seduced him and a day later she broke up with him.

I've been trying to be a good friend to Edward because I knew he needed me. Our friendship was strong, we never fought. I was even trying to distract him, so I made more time to hang out with him. During the spring semester, I had been so busy with my friends that I never hung out with him. We were on campus different days, and when he wanted to hang out I was always with Alice and our new group of friends. I was a bad friend to Edward through-out the semester and that's one of the reasons I've been trying to be such a good friend to him.

"It's okay, I'm getting better slowly. I don't know what I would do without you." Edward said, looking at me before suddenly leaning over to hug me. This hug was different than our usual hugs, our usual hugs were quick goodbye hugs. But this hug was long, and I wasn't really sure what to do. Everyone thought he was in love with me even when he was dating Tanya, I always laughed and dismissed it. It was kind of weird hugging Edward like that, it's not something I was used to. Edward tightened his arms around me more, his fingers caressing my shoulder. That's when I felt a tug in my heart, but I pushed it away I didn't have time to develop feelings for Edward.

"You've been such a good friend to me," Edward said, quietly.

"I've been trying to be a good friend to you." I said, realizing that he wasn't going to release me from this embrace anytime soon.

"I bailed on you a lot because of her, I'm sorry." Edward said, laying his head on my shoulder, and moving his hands down my back.

"It's okay, she was your girlfriend." I said, while silently thinking about how he had never bailed on me except once and it was because his car was broken down. Tanya was coming down to pick him up and he wasn't going to be able to come with the group to go bowling.

"No, it's not okay but thanks for being my friend." He said, tightening his arms around me even more. We sat in silence for a while and I smiled. I had never felt so close to him, it made me happy to be so close to him and still be able to say nothing was going on between us. I had sunk that ship of feelings a long time ago and all I wanted was to have a guy friend who I could say I love him like a brother. And I was finally getting that.

"Are you hot?" He asked, pulling away finally.

"Yeah, it's hot in here." I said, turning the key in my car so that I could roll down the windows. After that, Edward just continued to spill out more and more about his relationship with Tanya. I couldn't believe he was such an idiot. I loved the boy to death, but he really needed to make better decisions for himself.

Eventually I was tired of being parked there doing nothing so I suggested we go get something to eat. We ended up at the McDonalds in Port Angeles, talking about random stuff like how he had gotten pulled over the day before.

"Are you ready?" I asked, after he finished eating my fries that I hadn't finished.

"Sure," he said, and I drove back to his house in Forks. I parked in front of his house and turned my body towards him as he continued talking.

"Thanks for keeping me company," Edward said, locking his eyes with mine in the dark car. I smiled at him softly.

"Hug me bye," I said, and he leaned forward to hug me. He wrapped his arms around me and I knew he was going to make this another long hug but I didn't want to have too long of a hug because it was late and I needed to go home. My face rubbed against his and I felt his stubble tickle my skin. After a few moments I thought to myself okay time to end this hug, so I began pulling away. Suddenly, I felt his lips on mine and I froze.

What is happening? Am I imagining this? This can't be happening! He's kissing me!

"Edward, why are you kissing me?" I asked, still in complete shock. I don't even know how I'm talking at all.

"It felt like the right thing to do," he said, his voice slightly emotional. Edward pressed his lips against mine again and for a moment I sat there unsure of what to do. Should I kiss him back? This was happening too fast. I pulled away again, and looked at Edward for a second.

"Edward, do you like me?" I asked, looking down at my hands as I asked the question.

"Yeah, I think I'm falling." He whispered. I sat there shocked for a moment, I couldn't believe everyone was right. Edward pressed his lips against mine again and this time I began to kiss him back. I couldn't believe this was happening… was this really happening? At that moment I didn't how I felt about him, did I like him? I wasn't sure, but I mean shouldn't I know? I mean he's kissing me I should feel something either way. I was just so numb and shocked that I couldn't feel a thing.

"Edward, I need to go home it's late." I said, pushing him away again. Edward didn't hesitate to kiss me again after mumbling okay. We kissed some more and again I pushed him away.

"Really, Edward I have to go." I said, giggling as he tried to kiss me again.

"Okay. " He said, suddenly shaking himself out of it. He reached the door handle before turning back to me.

"Does this change things between us?" He asked, his voice emotional and uneven.

"I need time to think about this," I said, my heart racing like I had just ran a marathon.

"Oh my gosh. That was so stupid of me. Can we just pretend that didn't happen?" He asked, panicking.

"No I don't think we can." I said, quietly looking down at my hands.

"Can we still be friends? Even if nothing happens between us?" He asked, his voice in a panic still.

"Yes, of course." I said, smiling at him.

"I'm so sorry." He said, before getting out of my car. I immediately began driving away, I had to get away fast. I pulled out my phone, my hands shaking. I called Alice, Edward's sister and my best friend.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" Alice answered, immediately worried because of how late it was.

"Edward kissed me!" I cried.