I have an obsession with cheesy pick up lines. Seriously.

Glee © Ryan Murphy


"Kurtie!" The taller boy's eyes widened as he was glomped by his boyfriend.

"Blaine? Are you drunk?" Kurt asked, marveling at the giggling boy holding onto him.

"Nope," Blaine replied with a sloppy grin. "I'm just intoxicated by you."

Kurt just rolled his eyes.


"Ugh!" Kurt stared at the clock. "How much slower can time pass? I'm dying here!"

Blaine snicked at his impatience.

"What?" Kurt whined. "I want my coffee!"

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"If beauty were time, you'd be eternity."

"Blaine!"


"Don't you love stars, Kurt?" Kurt couldn't help but smile as he watched the curly-haired boy marvel at the sky.

"Sure, Blaine. They're very pretty."

"Ya know, if I had a star for every time you've brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand."

All Kurt could do was groan.


Kurt sighed in relief as he warmed his hands by the fireplace. The New Directions been in a snowball fight with the Warblers, and now the two clubs were savoring hot chocolate and the warmth of Rachel's living room.

"Here." Kurt looked up gratefully as Blaine handed him a fresh cup of cocoa.

He sipped on the warm drink for a few minutes, before realizing the Blaine was staring at him.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"No, Kurt, It's just... You look cold. Do want to use me as a blanket?"

If he hadn't been so thirsty, Kurt knew exactly where he would've poured his hot cocoa.


"Oof!" Kurt winced as he heard the sound. Turning on his heels, he saw Blaine on the ground.

"I told you I wasn't good at rollarblading!"

Kurt bit back a laugh. "Come on! Your fine." He extended a hand to the shorter boy.

"Kurt?" Blaine looked up with his puppy dog eyes.

Sigh. "Yes?" Kurt asked, knowing what was coming.

"Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scraped my knees falling for you."

"Of course you did, Blaine."


Kurt's nose wrinkled in disgust as he watched the man at the next table pick his nose.

"That's disgusting! If you're going to be so vile, why not in the privacy of your own home. Preferably where I can't see." Kurt vented to his boyfriend.

Blaine opened his mouth to comment, but Kurt's eyes widened.

"Oh no you don't! Blaine Warbler, so help me, if you even think-"

"Come on Kurtie! You know I have to!"

Groan. "If you must."

Blaine leaned across the table grabbing his boyfriend's hand.

He whispered softly, "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."

Kurt just dropped his head into his hands, and didn't speak for the next 15 minutes.


"I just don't get it." Kurt tried his best not to get angry. After all, it was Brittany.

"Boo, listen. A is the first letter of the alphabet, not Q. Just because it's that way on the keyboard, doesn't mean that it's correct."

Blaine jumped up from his seat, and ran over to his friends.

"What do you need Blaine?" Kurt asked as nicely as he could.

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"..."

Brittany's usual smile faltered in confusion. "But, they already are together, aren't they?"


"Kurt... Hey Kurt!... Kurtie... Kurt! Kurt Kurt Kurt! Hey Kur-"

"WHAT?"

" Can you give me a hand?"

"With what, Blaine?"

"I need you to pull this heart-shaped arrow out o my butt. Some little kid with wings shot me!"

"..."

"Well?"

"I am going to push you down a hole one day."

"Nah, you love me too much!"

"Just keep thinking that, Blaine Warbler. Just keep thinking that."

"...Um, Kurt?"

"..."

"Kurt?"

"..."

"Shit."


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