TITLE: Assumptions are dangerous things...

PAIRING: itachiXsakura

TIMELINE/SPOILERS/WARNINGS: AU, non-massacre. Therefore, the Uchiha clan is alive and well, and Itachi is still an ANBU shinobi. Should contain some OoCness as a result. Rated T for Itachi's uncharacteristically hyperactive imagination.

DISCLAIMER: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto and all related characters, etc etc etc.

SUMMARY: Assumptions are dangerous things... especially when they involve a certain Haruno Sakura.

A/N: A little piece I did on a whim while on a break from another ItaSaku ff. I'll put it up after I finish the whole thing. Will update Torikoshi Kurou one day, but not too soon. (coincidentally, Torikoshi Kurou of Shiina Ringo, the source of the title, started playing in my iTunes as soon as I'm typing this author's notes. Is it a sign, perhaps...?) NO, there isn't a sequel to this. I tried making one, but I was too satisfied with this to make one. I'll leave everything that happened afterwards to your imagination. ;)

Assumptions are dangerous things...

He had regarded her as many things— his brother's friend and teammate; the Godaime's protégé; a medic; and a highly skilled shinobi. However, it was only now that he was aware of the fact that she was also a kunoichi— female shinobi whose strongest arsenal included the wily use of their pheromones and female sexuality.

He should have known better— he had noticed the signs before, on several occasions, but it was only now that he belatedly realized she had successfully trapped him with her nimble fingers and sweet, knowing smiles.

It was his bimonthly medical check-up, and as was normal, she was the medic assigned to him. He had grown some kind of aversion to the hospital as he knew too many people who had to be unnecessarily sent there because of shinobi rivalry and ways, and he didn't like the period of inactivity a stay in the hospital brought about. As normal he had tried, in his own subtle way, to get out of this current session by telling his medic that he was fine, and that his eyes didn't feel strained at all. But, as was always, the kunoichi wrestled him back to his seat with a pleasant smile and a cheerful warning that 'disobedient patients get what they deserve.'

He wasn't threatened at all, no. On the contrary, the medic's words only caused something in him to stir, and for a brief moment he had a vision of him being tied down and gagged on the very hospital bed he was currently sitting upon while the medic – no, kunoichi— was checking his heartbeat with the warm palms of her hands as she straddled over him wearing nothing but a pair of—

"Itachi-san," the medic's voice called out.

Said person blinked, and he saw her waving a hand infront of his face as if to check if he was aware of what was happening around him. Itachi had the sudden urge to grab the hand infront of him and drag the medic down to the bed with him.

"I know you don't like being here," the medic said with a sigh. "But if you're going to continue working as a shinobi, and if you don't want to lose your eyesight faster than you may realize it, just bear with me, alright?"


One of Konoha's currently most famous— and notoriously hyperactive and loud— shinobi stepped inside the examination room, followed by two others who have been told on several occasions to have the same likeness, although Itachi couldn't exactly see it apart from both of them having dark hair.

"Naruto," the medic said with a clenching of one of her hands. "How many times do I have to tell you to not disturb me while I'm in the middle of work?"

"B-But Sakura-chan," Naruto cowered. "It's almost lunch time, and we thought we'd pick you up…"

"Nii-san," his brother, Sasuke, greeted him, and he nodded back in return.

"It's that time of the month, huh?" Naruto said, looking at Itachi curiously. "I hate how it always takes a long time."

"Can you drag him down to the lobby downstairs?" Sakura turned to her two other teammates. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

The third visitor, whom Itachi knew was an ANBU just like himself, had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Dickless, Chicken-head," He called out to Naruto and Sasuke, who both sent him annoyed glares. He didn't seem to mind, though. "It's best if we do as Hag says." He then turned to Itachi. "I apologize on behalf of my rude companions. We didn't mean to interrupt you in your... what did that book call it… 'hospital play'."

The medic instantly turned purple and bodily threw the three intruders out of the room and slammed the door in their faces. After a short breathing exercise to calm down, she then turned back to Itachi.

"Well then," she said with such a bright smile that made it seem nothing had just happened. "Let me check your optic nerves and then you're free to go."

Raising chakra-enveloped hands to Itachi's head, the medic slowly moved her thumbs in a gentle, circular motion over his temples and slowly extended the massage over to his forehead. There was a faint scent of jasmine and lavender coming from her hands that made Itachi's eyes flutter shut.

He was already entertaining the idea of a short nap when the medic pulled her hands away, making him realize the mistake of letting his guard down too much.

She was truly the craftiest kunoichi he ever met.

"Open your eyes, Itachi-san," her voice was a soft whisper.

He did, and the medic hard at work stared back at his eyes. She raised a penlight and made him follow it visually, and when she was satisfied she placed her fingers on his temples once more. The warmth of her chakra reached him as before, and she was concentrating too much that Itachi felt reassured that she truly wanted to see to his well-being— at the moment.

"Itachi-san," she called out once more. "Can you activate your kekkei genkai for me, please?"

He complied, and he could sense that she was emitting more chakra from her hands.

"Now for the Mangekyou Sharingan, Itachi-san," she said.

Itachi activated the currently most powerful form of his sharingan, and this time the medic closed her eyes to concentrate more.

"Please tell me if anything starts to hurt," she said.

The warm chakra intensified, and Itachi could feel his senses clouding as his eyes were fixated on to the medic's lips. She had broken his personal space with him realizing it too late, and she was so close that it was easy for him to lean forward and do something that would no doubt have her cancel her lunch with her friends.

The medic's chakra pulled away, and she went over to her desk to fill up his medical record with short notes. There was a slight feeling of irritation growing in Itachi, and he knew very well where it was stemming from.

"So far, there isn't anything different from last time," the medic said as put down her pen. "See? I told you it'll be for the best if you limited the use of your Mangekyou. The chakra flow in your optical system is as steady and normal as any person who has perfect eyesight. You're free to leave now."

The medic was picking up her clipboard with Itachi's medical examination sheet when Itachi finally made his decision. Wasting no time, he walked over to her in two strides and held her firm by her elbow. She looked back at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"You can cease your efforts in attracting my full attention and teasing me so," He said as he moved closer to her. "You have succeeded in what others have failed in, and I admire you more for that."

The medic was now staring at him blankly. "What the hell are you talking about, Itachi-san?"

"You need not play naive anymore," Itachi said as he trapped her by her desk. "As I am interested in furthering our otherwise amicable relationship, however, be warned that I will not accept a one-night stand and a string of fleeting liaisons."

He had expected her to once and for all drop her innocent act, and perhaps they could move on into something a little more interesting, but what she did in actuality was something that he did not fully comprehend.

"Itachi-san," the medic said in an obviously falsely cheerful smile. Her right hand gripped his wrist too tightly for his comfort and wrestled it off with ease from her arm. "I think you have to get your head checked as well, as it's very clear that you're suffering some sort of delusional spell."

His patience starting to wear at the chase the kunoichi was giving him, Itachi leaned further into her to the point that she had to lift herself on her desk to keep some sort of distance between their chests.

"Sakura," he said with a hint of warning in his low baritone. He had always addressed her so formally despite her often reminding him that he could call her by her name as he was her good friend's brother, and now that he had called her as she had requested, he didn't want to call her by her surname anymore. "Sakura," he repeated, this time with more emphasis. "Do not toy with me. You have made your intentions very clear, and I accept your proposal with the intention of being with you through life and death."

The kunoichi stared at him, dumbstruck.

"Uchiha-san," she said with her own warning-laced voice. "I'm sorry, but when the hell did I make my 'intentions' clear?"

As the kunoichi seemed to be having a difficulty accepting the fact that she had succeeded in seducing him and was, indeed, being proposed to by no other than him, Itachi Uchiha, clan heir and genius of the Uchiha clan, Itachi decided to humor her need to quell her disbelief.

"You were always aware of what I wanted and needed, whether or not I have made it clear, or even when I was aware of it," he started. "Such attention to detail could only be attributed to someone highly attuned to a person he or she is interested in. To make a point, just last month you helped me get out of my own birthday party that my brother and his friends, which included you, prepared amid protests after noticing that I wasn't capable of enjoying it due to the strain I was feeling from using the Mangekyou Sharingan too much. You extended said help by easing the chakra flow in my eyes, and after that night you strictly prescribed that I need to rely less on my Mangekyou in order to avoid damaging my eye sight further."

"It was the obvious thing to do!" The medic said with a roll of her viridian eyes. "Any good medic would do the same!"

"People have always kept their distance from me, and they have always addressed me formally as I am the Uchiha clan heir. They always speak of awe and admiration for my skills as a shinobi, and many would shamelessly attempt to be in good favor with me to reap the benefits of being associated with someone of high position and power. You may have tried using your skills as a kunoichi to get my attention, but in the years that I have known you and the few times I have spoken to you, I know that your intentions have always, if not mostly, been genuine and free of malice and selfish, greedy desires."

"Wha— I'm sure there are others who treat you normally! Besides, you're Sasuke's brother so it wasn't too hard to be at ease around you!"

"And lastly," Itachi said with an amused smirk. "I am not daft as to not notice your subtle displays of femininity and… intimate advances."


Not wanting the flustered kunoichi to fall off her desk as she kept trying to move back, Itachi secured her in place with his right arm while the other balanced them both. She was minutely trembling, and Itachi couldn't blame her— even he could feel his anticipation in every inch of his body.

Itachi dipped his head on to the crook of her neck and shoulder, and he felt her shudder as he breathed in and drowned himself with her scent of white jasmine and sweet olive flowers.

"Itachi-san…" she breathed hotly into his ear.

"Hnn… yes, Sakura?" He murmured into her neck.

"I… I want to see your face…"

Pleased that the medic was finally consenting to what he wanted, Itachi submitted to her whispered request.

It was too late when he realized she had mercilessly punched him through two concrete walls, and she was long gone when he woke up from his concussion several hours later.


Reviews, comments, and bursts of fangirling squee are definitely most welcome. :D