Okay, so here I am, once again. Sorry this chapter took so long. No excuses. I couldn't get myself to finish this story, but I owe it to you guys, so I'm getting it done.
I woke up feeling a warm air swim around me. The light was dim outside my window, and I could see the sun slipping behind the mountains, but just barely. The clouds were tinged with orange and red, and the sight was beautiful, but not at its peak of beauty. It would be the most spectacular in about 10 minutes. That's when I realized I was looking at the sunset from my bed.
I sat up slowly, and noticed that my balcony door was open. The slight breeze blowing in was a good hint. I stood up slowly, but I stumbled as my head started to pound. My hand instinctively went to my cradle my forehead.
"Oh, god my head hurts," I said. I began to walk towards my bathroom to get an aspirin, but when I got there, I looked in the mirror, and realized that I was a mess. I was still in my day clothes, but my hair was frizzy and spastic. I quickly went to take out my clips, when I realized that they weren't there. I brushed out my hair, and went back into my bedroom. It was then that I wondered where Ikuto was. I tried to remember how we had gotten home, but every time I tried to focus on remembering, it made my headache worse.
I decided that I would just ask him what happened the next time I saw him, whenever that was.
Fate had decided that the next time I saw Ikuto, was when I went downstairs for an Aspirin, since there was none left in my bathroom. I came walking down the stairs to see Ikuto on the couch reading the newspaper. I had unconsciously walked down the stairs quietly, so he hadn't even noticed me, especially since he looked so into the newspaper. I hadn't noticed before until now how much he looked like he belonged here, in my house, on the couch reading the newspaper. The only thing that would make him look any better would be if I was sitting next to him.
I began to think about waking up in the morning to find Ikuto at the dining room table with a paper, food already set out waiting us to begin eating it. I would come up behind him and wrap my arms around his neck. He would tell me good morning and kiss my cheek.
"Good Evening, Amu," said Ikuto. I came back to reality with my arms wrapped around Ikuto's neck from behind, just the way I had been imagining. I began to blush furiously, as I realized what I had just done.
"Oh um… evening Ikuto," I stuttered. I wanted to pull away so bad, but I didn't. Instead, I rested my head on his shoulder and let my eyes begin to drift, as I began to read bits and headlines of the paper.
Only moments went by.
"Ugh. How can you read this? It's so boring," I said, as I slumped more weight down on his shoulder.
"I don't particularly enjoy it either," he said getting up. I thought he would come back with some snarky remark like 'You're better to read,' or 'there are many other things I could be doing,' but he never did.
I went up to him and started poking at his sides waiting for him to do something swat at me, bark at me, something!
"Please stop Amu," he spoke.
I was completely and utterly confused.
I stared at his back and kept poking him. I was actually kind of hurt. This wasn't the Ikuto I knew. I poked him once more.
He turned on me and grabbed my wrist. I only stared there, shock taking over my whole body. I stared into his deep blue oceans which stormed with frustration. I didn't know poking at his sides did that to him.
"I asked you to stop," he said, voice dark and commanded. I tried to rip my wrist free, but it wouldn't budge. I couldn't believe this. Without any warning he let go of my wrist, and walked to the front door. "Yoru!" he called. "We're leaving." His little Chara flew down with Yue without utter disappointment. You could tell how much he wanted to stay with her, but since his master was being an ass, now he to leave.
"Fine go!" I shouted. He walked out the door, looking at me only for a split second before closing the door behind him.
I was left standing there, shell shocked. Unbelievable!
I stormed upstairs and jumped into my bed. I wasn't particularly tired, but I was incredibly depressed. I knew I was going to cry, and I prayed that I wouldn't. Puffy eyes was the last thing I needed when my parents got home tomorrow. I knew one thing…. And that was that I had absolutely no clue what had just happened.
"What's your problem!" I shouted. "You're always nice to me, whispering sweet things when no one else is around. Why are you so pissed at me? All I did was poke your sides!"
He stood there in silence for moments before letting me wrist go. He turned away from me, but I wouldn't allow that in my house.
We were in the kitchen now, and that's where we would stay. I grabbed his hand and pushed him hard against the wall. He would not walk away from me, not after what I did to Tadase this morning. I already probably lost him, I wasn't going to lose Ikuto either.
My head hurt at the thought of Tadase. God, what had happened earlier? I couldn't remember for the life of me. My hand went up to my head instantly trying to massage my brain.
"Do you remember anything from earlier?" he asked. I looked up at him, and saw embarrassment, disappointment, and frustration all balled into one. I couldn't piece anything together.
"No. Tell me," I demanded. His head turned away, but I grabbed his jaw with a hand and pulled in close, popping any personal head bubble he had. "I told you to tell me!"
In seconds he flipped us. I was pinned to the yellow wall, one arm down, the other up pinned by one of his hands, with his other hand on my jaw.
"Does this ring any bells?" he asked. I saw something flash across his eyes. He was debating something. What was it? Oh-
His lips came down on mine. His kiss was fierce, hungry. It took me by storm so quickly that I couldn't stop his tongue from slipping through. The only battle I was able to fight was the one happening in our mouths.
I remembered the pet store.
I kissed him harder, pushing against him. I was remembering. I could remember my shock at realizing our date destination. I remembered our Charas gawking at the pets. I remembered the little red Pitbull….. Why was he red? I couldn't remember.
I kissed back with a fiery passion trying to remember everything. The arm of mine that wasn't pinned wrapped around Ikuto's neck and brought him down closer to me. His chest flattened me completely against the wall. All I could feel was him.
I wanted a cat toy. I got the cat toy. In the food isle there was a person. Tadase. What was he saying? What was I saying? It was over between us. He hated us. Ikuto bought me the toy. Why did the pet store look so weird. Cat Toy, Cats, Catnip….. Catnip!
That was what gave me the headache.
Ikuto bit my lip teasingly. He wanted me to stop him, tell him where to draw the line. I didn't know where to put the line. I just assumed he would know my boundaries like last time…. Last time…. Against the brick wall in the street on our way home.
Oh yeah. I was so high on Catnip I couldn't remember until now.
Ikuto's hands were on my sides it made me shiver with delight. His kiss was harsher this time, scarier, wanting.
I didn't know how I was supposed to react. It scared me, and I knew he wanted it to.
I pushed his chest, and turned my face away towards freedom. Ikuto stood up taller, but never giving me exit from the wall.
"This can't happen, Amu…." He spoke it softly.
I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. His feet dragged him away from me, and I held onto his hand until his fingers slipped through mine. He was at the door before I moved. I ran towards him, for him. His eyes showed a sadness I had never seen in them before. I reached the door right as it closed, and when I opened it he was gone.
My heart stopped.
If I hadn't pulled away from him, he would have stayed, right?
I found myself on the roof at 3am. The sky was dark, and the stars were visible to me, only because the surrounding area was dark. The stars were so stoic, expressionless, and didn't give me any sort of comfort.
I stared out at the city lights. They danced around telling their own story. I found that they spoke of a boy and a girl, full of enthusiasm and tease. One fateful day changes how they feel, and one seemingly fateful night fixes the change. The only problem was that the change didn't need to be fixed, what's worse is that it didn't want to be fixed.
The story was mine, and I cried, feeling one tear slip at a time.
The sound was mine. I was a cat who had a home, and had gotten lost outside. Now, I wasn't sure how to return.
My Charas left me alone to be with myself.
"Mreow! Mreow! Mreow!" I couldn't stop, and I cried and cried. The sound made me feel better, as if I was releasing all the sadness that was in my heart.
I knew he could hear me, and I prayed that he would come to me.
He never came.
The day was slow and tedious. I woke up late in the afternoon. I was alone, and it felt as if it was an eternity just to get myself downstairs. I expected to find Ikuto there, hoping that yesterday was a dream. I found the kitchen empty when I arrived. I stepped across the floor barefoot, and it felt colder than usual. I hoped to some extent, that if I stayed in one place long enough, it would feel as if he had been there to warm the floor for me, as if he had been walking around all morning waiting for me to awaken.
My imagination wasn't good enough. No matter how hard I tried to imagine him here, he never showed. Only fragmented images of him fluttered through my vision.
I went to the cabinets to get myself some cereal, reminiscing at the breakfast Ikuto had made for me only yesterday. I wanted to feel the orange juice flowing down my throat again.
So that's what I had for breakfast, cereal and OJ.
I stayed in the house all day watching TV. I didn't know exactly why I was feeling so down. Ikuto and I had never really been thing. He's always been around, and he always shows back up, so I didn't understand why I was so upset when he left. Yes, we had just kissed, and yes it was an amazing thing. It felt like we had connected, as if we were meant for each other. His warmth filled my entire body starting from my head and slithering all the way to my toes.
I stood up and shook with the feeling of rejection. That's why I was so hurt. I had wanted something to be there, and instead of taking in everything he had to offer me, I turned away because I couldn't handle it. I had ruined it all. He thought I had shown him rejection, and I thought he had given me rejection. This was all one big mess.
I didn't know what I was going to do.
At about 8pm, my parents came home with Ami. They were loud and happy, and it made me sick inside. I wasn't angry at them for being angry, but happiness just made me remember who wasn't sitting next to me.
I greeted my parents asked them how Ami did, and they all had good news followed by heavy laughter. My laughter was hollow.
Not long after my parents got home, I faked sleepiness and went to my bedroom. I turned out the light and got ready for bed, but when it came to actually sleeping, I just laid there. My bed was colder than usual, and I couldn't warm myself. I could only think of the warmth I felt when I slept with Ikuto Friday night. I wanted that warmth again.
I heard a crack at my sliding door. I lurched out of bed and rushed the door, ripping the curtains out of the way. It was Ikuto, it had to be. It was our unspoken secret sign that he was here.
I was outside in the cold air in moments, my feet frozen, legs shaking, hair on end, eyes excited. There was nothing there, just the cold empty night.
It was in that moment that I realized how alone I was. Ikuto wasn't here, and he wasn't gonna come either. I crawled back inside my room, and slumped myself into my bed. The last thing I remember hearing were small whimpers coming from my throat.
Monday was no different. A quiet empty morning filled with cold OJ. I darted for the train, and barely made, once again reminding me of Ikuto. I lunged into my seat right as the bell rang, and pretended like I had been there the whole time.
As I made it from class to class, I realized that each one got longer and longer, until I asked to go to the bathroom and didn't return to class. I was never like this. No matter how much of a punk I wanted to be I never skipped class, ever.
In my spare time I walked the grounds. I made it to the garden, and watched the small flowers. I could never choose one favorite flower. They all made up a garden of beauty. Without one, it wouldn't be as beautiful, so to only use one would be even worse.
I walked the all the halls careful to keep quiet and avoid teachers. I made it all the way to the roof, where I had never gone before. The sky was beautiful, and the clouds were small and puffy. I stared at the scene. The city was just as beautiful in the day as it was night.
When it was time for our Guardian meeting, I slowly made my way back to the gardens. I was the last to arrive. Tadase spoke to everyone, but me, not that I really cared. The way he droned on and on was absolutely infuriating. I just wished that he would shut up.
Everyone glanced between us wondering what was going on between us, but we never subjected ourselves to the questions or guesses. At one point we had a good conversation, yet only to make the stares and questions stop. The questions only slowed.
After the meeting ended, Rima and Nagihiko ran up to me. I noticed they were holding hands.
"Hey Amu," said Rima. "Is there something going on between you and Tadase?"
"Not anymore…" I said slowly. I was afraid if I said it too fast, that I would start to feel guilty.
"What?!" They exclaimed. They were both shocked at the news they had just received, and I wasn't surprised because to everyone on the outside, we did look like the perfect couple. Nobody knew the little things I felt, or the absence of his love. I needed a way to end this conversation quickly.
"Yes, we're not together anymore… but that's alright. I'm okay, and I know he will be too. He'll make someone happy, and someone will make me happy." I walked away from them both hoping that my response was satisfactory. When I was far enough, I finished my sentence.
"In fact, there's already someone who makes me happy, very happy."
The walk home was slow, and to make it longer I took a different route, without the train. The streets weren't as different as I thought they'd be. Lights glittered in different places and the faces were unfamiliar, but somehow it felt the same. I still felt the welcomeness that came with living in the area for so long. I learned quickly that most of the people around here were older folks, making them even warmer to me, which was exactly what I needed.
"Yes Yue?" I responded.
"I'm sorry about what happened with Ikuto," she said. I looked at her and saw her fiddling with her tail. My other Charas gathered around her except for su, who came around to the other side.
"We all are," Miki said.
"When we see down this bad, it makes us feel just as bad as you do," Ran explained.
"What are you going to do to get him back?" asked Su.
I froze. I looked to my right, he face floating close to mine. I looked to my left and saw the girls all waiting for my response. They wanted me to be happy. No, they wanted US to be happy, Ikuto and I. I hadn't thought about what to do to get him back. I figured that he would show up and tell what was what. I never thought of taking the initiative.
I looked back to my right. My focus changed from Su to the store behind her for a split second, but that's where it stayed.
Yeta's Yarns and Crafts. The pink neon sign caught everyone's attention for at least a moment, but it held mine even longer. I knew exactly how I was going to get Ikuto back, and it was going to be very fun.
I didn't know how long I had been asleep for, but I was very glad that I had skipped school today. I just wasn't in the mood to be dealing with so many people.
All I wanted was her. Just her, her, her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I had even gone by her house in the middle of the night yesterday and thrown a rock at her window. I knew she would come out. I did it just to see her face, but I wish that I hadn't because I will never forget the look of utter disappointment that I saw on her face. That's when I knew that her bed was just as cold as mine.
Laying here now, the room was dark, lit only by the moonlight. It wasn't too late; it was just barely dark enough to start picking out the stars in the sky. Yoru was sitting on the window ledge, his thoughts being far away from here was apparent.
Mine were far from here too, on the kiss I shared with the pink-haired little girl. No, shared wasn't the right word. I stole her kiss. I was terrible person. What teenager kisses a child.
I wanted to kiss her again.
I remembered all the things I would have done to her if she had been old enough to handle it, the way I knew I could make her feel. The way she'd….
I had to stop myself. I couldn't think those sorts of things about her. I wouldn't let myself ruin her.
I needed air… and food.
"Yoru," I called. His little face turned to me slowly. "Let's go out and get something to eat." He didn't say anything. He just floated towards me.
I sat up in my bed, looked out the window, put my shoes on, and stood up. I popped my neck to each side, hearing a small crack each time. I walked to my door, and wondered if I should even leave. Yes, this apartment was stuffy and I felt very alone, but I would feel like that anywhere else wouldn't I?
It didn't matter where I went, but at least I might accomplish something if I didn't feel caged in this room.
I felt like I had opened a present. When I opened the door, a small surprise waited for me. The end of a long piece of string laid there on the floor, and I followed it all the way down the hallway stairs. I continued to follow the string outside of the apartment complex and watched as it went all the way down the street. Something in shook inside me and said that this was a bad idea, but I didn't feel like listening.
I followed the string left, then right, past a couple of shops, and saw that the end of this string was knotted to the beginning of another of string. This string was blue, and continued for about 100 yards where the string was knotted to a green one. The string turned to yellow, and then purple. I saw the piece of string went under the bottom of the front door of my little pink-haired girl's house. Now I knew why my senses had told me not to follow, but if she had gone through the effort, it was obvious that she wanted to tell me something.
I walked inside.
I froze when the door opened.
Don't let my parents be home yet. Don't let my parents be home yet.
Ikuto stood in the doorway when our eyes met, and I was so embarrassed.
"Please help me," I said. I was planning on having a ball of yarn set to throw at him. I figured if he didn't want to talk, he could just be his cat self. However, before he could get here, I got sidetracked by the string and started playing with it, which puts me in my current situation.
I was covered in string from head to toe. I didn't know how stuck I was until I tried to stand up, and face planted into the floor. My feet were knotted together, and my hands were stuck behind my back. I felt hog-tied. I started to struggle and got one hand free, but as one string fell, another one knotted, and I still couldn't get up.
I just laid on my stomach on the floor, our eyes connected, as my ear flinched. Ikuto said nothing as he came over to me, but I noticed that he was smiling. I felt his hands through tight strings. I laid there for only a minute or two before I could sit up. We stayed there in silence for a few minutes.
"Why did you leave on Saturday?" I asked. His fingers stopped for only a second before continuing on releasing me from my yarn prison.
"Amu," he started. He didn't continue, so I looked at him. His hands stopped and our eyes connected. I stared into secret oceans, as he stared into open tufts of pink. I wanted him to know what I had been denying for so long. I wanted him to know that I loved him, and even if he didn't love me back, that things didn't have to change. I just want to be near him.
I reached out to his face and felt my hand slide to his cheek. His faced tighten as he grasped my hand and rubbed his cheek it.
"It's okay Ikuto," I said it so softly. He looked at me with gentle eyes. I could tell he wanted it too, but something was holding him back. I still had strands of string here and there, but I wasn't stuck anymore. I stood on my knees, and inched my face closer to his. I had the mindset. I wasn't going to pull away this time. I wanted every bit of him that I could get and I wasn't going to waste any of it.
Our lips grazed each other's.
He pulled away, but I grabbed onto his shirt. His momentum went backward as mine went forward, and I landed right on top of him. I Chara changed with Yue once again, and I pinned his wrists to the floor.
I stared at him as tears started to fall. His eyes felt my pain.
"Why?" I asked. "Why do you pull away from me? You're always teasing me and chasing me, and kissing me. Why is it so wrong when I try to kiss you?" My grip slipped, and I fell onto his chest.
"Because Amu," he started, "I don't want to ruin you." I looked up at him. "I don't want to take you too far, and I don't want you to resent me for it if I do. I can't imagine not being near you Amu." He cupped my face and brought his forehead to mine. "I want to be with you Amu, but I know that it can't happen yet Amu. I can't let it."
"But Ikuto!" I shouted. "I want it to happen!" He looked shocked. His face backed away from mine so he could watch me speak, as he propped himself up on his elbows.
"Every time I'm with you, I can't think about anything else but you," I started. "When I'm with my friends, I can't get my mind off you, and when I'm with Tadase, I can only think of how much happier I would be spending my time with you. I thought I knew what love was, and that I had felt it before, but this feeling is knew. This is the feeling that I always wanted."
Ikuto waited for me to say it. He was patient and calm, but on the inside I could see his nerves jittering away. I took a final gulp, swallowing all fear.
"Ikuto…" I paused. "I love you!"
He pulled me into a kiss so passionate and so warm, that I felt myself melting away. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as one of his hands caressed my face and his tail intertwined with mine. I felt how scared he was through his kiss, and I wanted him to feel better. I played with his hair softly and felt one of his hands slide across my lower back. I wanted his caress, his touch. He knew it too.
I tried to lick his lips softly, but all I ended up doing was biting his lip. He winced shortly before laughing. I only stared at him embarrassed.
"Amu, are you sure you want to do this, go down this road with me?" he asked. I felt that no other answer would satisfy, so I licked his neck, and jumped off him only to trip on the stupid string which we were both now tangled in.
I could still taste him.
I tried to squirm out of it, but Ikuto grabbed my ankle and started to spin more yarn around it. in retaliation, I wound some yarn around his tail, and each time it flicked around, it through more string across him. I laughed, and ended up getting even more tangled.
We stayed trapped in the yarn for an hour, before we heard a car door shut. We stopped talking and began to seriously untangle ourselves from the yarn. We barely made it up the stairs as the front door opened.
"Amu we're home!" my mother called.
"Okay mom. I'm going to bed now," I yelled back. I ran up the stairs and into my room, and saw the sliding door open. I was only saddened for a moment.
"You didn't honestly think that I had left did you?" he asked. I only jumped at him, and with his cat reflexes, he caught me like I was nothing. For once, he didn't make a comment about my weight.
He placed me in my bed, and I watched him carefully as he went to my sliding glass window. He stared at me, and I stared back at him. His gaze left mine, as he smirked and shut the door. He lifted the sheets up high letting all the cold air in, so I reached up for something warm, namely my blanket, but found the solidity of Ikuto instead, which I found to be much more comfortable and warm.
We didn't say anything to each other, just watched each other with dazed eyes, with would always be followed by a tender kiss. I eventually got the habit of how to use my tongue which Ikuto was very pleased to help with. Every time I did well, he smirked into the kiss.
I fell asleep that night feeling complete now that Ikuto was back by my side, and apparently glued to it as we fell asleep. My last conscience thought was…
I wish Ikuto would rest his arm somewhere else so I could breathe….
Alright guys, this is the end of this chapter, and this is where it needs to end, but no worries 'cause I'm uploading all the finishing chapters at once. I love you guys, and thank you all for waiting so patiently. This is where this story ends guys, but hopefully I can keep interested enough to do a sequal of short stories. Keep Rockin' It!
Ikuto Says Peace Out!