Hello! So, this is a collection of Gamzee/Tavros drabbles and oneshots named Motherfuckin' Sick Fires, cause I'm a derp who couldn't think of a better title. XD Most of these will be based off songs. This particular one is inspired by "Broken" by Seether feat. Amy Lee. It's a beautiful song, I highly suggest looking it up!
If you're not into sad angsty stuff, don't worry, not all of them will be like this. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! Enjoy!
Gamzee woke at the sound of his name, his head throbbing horribly. Blinking, he was met with the bleary sight of Tavros peeking cautiously at him, his face filled with distraught. Gamzee frowned; he hated seeing his matesprit so upset.
"What the fuck is the motherfuckin' matter, brother?" Gamzee mumbled, rubbing his aching head and propping himself up on his elbows. He immediately felt a chill along his back; it appeared that he was lying in a pool of something hot and sticky. Curious, he surveyed his surroundings, and instantly regretted it.
Blood of a variety of colours were splattered all along the walls and floor. Gamzee took a sharp intake of breath, tasting a metallic twinge in the air. He was horrified to find that he was lying in violet blood, still oozing from a mutilated corpse to his left. Gory bodies were spread across the room, with crazed messages written in their blood. ARE YOU NEXT? :o) Loomed beside Gamzee and Tavros, the letters dripping in a sickening rainbow.
"What... what the motherfuck happened?" Dumbstruck, Gamzee gaped at the corpses of his friends. His blood bladder felt heavy in his chest, like it weighed a ton.
"Y-you, uh, ran out of s-sopor pies..." Tavros swallowed the lump in his chitinous windhole, "y-you weren't you anymore. It was, uh, l-like you had other people i-in your head."
Gamzee despaired. The subjugglators that plagued his daymares finally got into his think pan.
"I did this," He breathed hopelessly, blinking back tears, "I motherfuckin' did this. I fuckin' killed them all."
"D-don't say that," Tavros made to wrap his arms around Gamzee, but he scooted away in alarm.
"Don't touch me! Don't even come motherfuckin' near me, bro," Gamzee hissed, though his anger was in no way directed at Tavros, "I have no fuckin' idea what I'd do if I... I..." He couldn't finish that sentence. Gamzee didn't want to think about what could happen if he lost it again. He looked away, not wanting to look at Tavros, to see the shame and disgust in his eyes.
Gamzee didn't even hear Tavros slide in next to him. He tried to push away, but Tavros held him to his chest with a strong grip. Making sure not to hit him with his horns, Gamzee looked up at him. To his surprise, Tavros's blurred features didn't show shame or disgust. Just loss.
"Gamzee, this i-isn't your fault," Tavros whispered, cupping Gamzee's face with his hand, "it was never your fault. You, uh, weren't who you really are. Everyone knew y-you would never hurt them," Gamzee could tell Tavros was holding back tears of his own. He could practically feel his blood bladder sink into his acidic digestive organ. Trolls weren't supposed to make their matesprits cry.
"Tav, you don't motherfuckin' understand," Gamzee choked out, "I'm a descendant of the fuckin' dipshit subjugglators. When we got stuck on this motherfuckin' rock, they started coming to me in my dream bubble. They told me to motherfuckin' kill all my brothers and sisters. I wanted to get away from them, but... no matter how motherfuckin' hard I tried, they got into my think pan anyway," The purple tears that threatened to spill were now falling freely down Gamzee's face, making his already ruined makeup run. Tavros hugged him close while Gamzee sobbed openly, pressing light kisses to his hair. "A-and who the fuck knows if I'll snap again. How the motherfuck am I even in fucking control of myself?"
"I-I'm sorry... I had to whack you in the head with, uh, my lance," Tavros explained, "I knocked you out, a-and then you woke up," He continued, mumbling apologies. So that's why his head hurt so much.
"Don't apologize, Tav..." All you did was save your own life, Gamzee meant to say, but all that came from him was another cry of grief. He felt terrible. He was the worst person in the universe. His thin body shook with sobs as Tavros whispered gently, feeling more self-disgust as his matesprit's tears fell on him. He was selfish, so selfish, for clinging to Tavros when he shouldn't be anywhere near him; he didn't want another shade of blood on his already filthy hands. But he let himself be embraced, caressed, and welcomed the sweet nothings murmured into his ear. Because this was the only time in his whole life that Gamzee had felt so broken.