Hello. :) This is a short little thing I wrote for a LiveJournal contest a while back. The theme was "Line." I hope you enjoy it.


Tamaki's corner was covered in mushrooms, without a square inch to spare.

"Mommy!" Tamaki cried to Kyoya, his source of comfort in times of crisis. "Haruhi refuses to fall for me! She's so mean!"

"Should you be insulting someone that you want to fall for you?" Kyoya asked reasonably from his place on the couch, addressing Tamaki's problem as if it were legitimate and as if he cared. "And wouldn't it be strange for Haruhi to fall for her daddy?"

"No!" Tamaki cried defensively, but he stuck a finger in his mouth as he thought about it.

Before the host club king had too much time to dwell on the matter, the door of the third music room swung open, and Haruhi walked in. Upon seeing her, Tamaki instantly began to babble in her direction, his confused, incoherent thoughts flowing out of his mouth.

To cover up his friend's idiocy, Kyoya said, "Good afternoon, Haruhi. Today's cosplay is already set out for you in the changing room."

"Oh, thanks, Kyoya-senpai," she said with a warm smile, only partially suspicious at his kindness.

Not acknowledging the presence of the bumbling blond, Haruhi disappeared into the changing room.

"Mommy! What do I do?" Tamaki whispered urgently, flailing his arms dramatically and pacing in front of Kyoya's couch.

"Find someone else to fall for you, preferably someone very unintelligent, unlike Haruhi," Kyoya said dully.

"You're so mean!" Tamaki wailed. "No matter, dear Kyoya. Daddy has a master plan," he announced triumphantly, his eyes glimmering with the promise of his plan.

When Haruhi exited the changing room, Kyoya observed as Tamaki casually strolled over to her.

His voice unnaturally low and controlled, Tamaki said, "Come here often?"

"Um, yes. All the time," Haruhi responded.

"Oh. So..." He paused dramatically, signaling that he was about to carry out his "master plan."

"...if you and I were the alphabet... wait, no. If I were in the alphabet and you... wait. Hold on... If the alphabet didn't have the letters U and I, I'd rearrange... no, that's not it..."

Haruhi, unimpressed and mildly annoyed, watched him frantically try to remember the correct words. After a minute, Tamaki cast a pleading look at Kyoya that cried for help.

"Haruhi," Kyoya said, capturing Haruhi's attention. "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together."

Haruhi looked thoroughly amused.

"That's what he was trying to say," Kyoya clarified.

Haruhi looked up at Tamaki, asking, "That's the best line you've got, senpai?"

Tamaki shrank, humiliated.

"And to think, you couldn't even deliver it yourself," Haruhi continued.

Tamaki shrank a little further.

Haruhi concluded, "You're lucky to have such a good wife, Tamaki-senpai. I'd hold on to Kyoya-senpai if I were you."

With that, Haruhi walked away, sat at her hosting table, and began to pour tea for the guests that would be coming.

Tamaki crawled weakly to the corner, curled himself into a ball of despair, and started cultivating mushrooms on top of the existing ones.

Kyoya remained in place on the couch, opened his notebook to his Kyoya versus Tamaki page, and squeezed in yet another tally mark under his own name- another line signifying sweet victory.


Teehee. I love this one.
It won first place in the contest, by the way.
Please do review, lovelies. Thanks!

-Skye