*crawls out from underneath rock*

Uh . . . hey, guys?

*cowers* please don't kill me.

I have excuses but I should stop even using them. So, I'm SO SORRY AH! This isn't coming out easy and I'm writing other fic and original stuff and life and argh.

Anways.

Merry Christmas!

The world didn't end!

Klaine sang a duet!

Power of DVD updated!

And, to answer someone's question before (no idea whose) but they noticed that I miss pieces of dialogue in bits that are being watched. Well, when the Warblers are speaking and haven't paused the DVD, I myself said their lines and cut out the show that they missed. I hope that clears it up for you, whoever that was.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

. . . GLEE . . .

Season ONE
Episode TEN
BALLADS

. . . GLEE . . .

"Is he okay?" David asked as Wes came back into the dorm room.

Wes sighed. "I don't know. He's Blaine; he's good at hiding what he's actually feeling."

The boys hummed in agreement when Wes' phone beeped. He took it out and groaned as he read the text. "Come on, then. We're leaving."

"What?" Jeff asked. "Where?"

Wes scowled. "Don't you remember? We're serenading Blaine's GAP-Guy today."

They all groaned.

"Really? Are we still going through with that?" Trent flopped down onto Blaine's bed dramatically. "I don't wanna be the do-whopping sidekick to Blaine attempts as romance. Especially when it's that floppy-haired, unscrupulous, romance-ruin-er."

"COME ON!" Wes called, already half-way down the hallway. "We can watch another video later!"

. . . GLEE . . .

"Are we seriously going to do this?"

Wes sighed, watching Blaine speak to Kurt while watching the GAP-Guy (Jeremiah, Thad had told him earlier, when the Warblers had congregated at their cars). Kurt was giving Blaine 'The Look' as he watched Jeremiah. "God, Blaine," Wes scowled, "you at least could have chosen a younger rebound."

"It's not really a rebound if they never went out," said David, as he stood next to Wes, perusing through a rack of girl's t-shirts. He took a teal one and examined it closer. "Do you think Miranda would like this?"

Nick nodded his approval. "It matches her eyes. Boyfriend point for you, Mr Sullivan. But I thought you were getting her that sapphire necklace—?"

"Guys! This is a serious matter!" Wes proclaimed. "Blaine—"

"Yeah, but I want something else for her," David said to Nick, before turning to the head Warbler. "Face it Wes, he's going to make a fool of himself, we're going to help him do so, and then he can move on to Kurt. Simple."

"It will never be simple," Wes frowned, before signalling to Flint across the store. "Get ready you two. Hide."

Nick smiled, "Shotgun hiding in the clothes rack!"

"What! No fair," David pouted as he hid behind a table and the Warblers began their harmonization.

"Baby girl, where you at . . ."

. . . GLEE . . .

"I can't believe we just did that."

Walking in step next to Trent, Jeff was massaging his temples (as he had been an idiot and walked into a pole on the way out of the GAP) as the two waited in line at the new sushi stand in the food hall. Trent snickered, "Please, if this doesn't wake him up, then I don't know what will. Chances are, by this time next week they'll be dating."

Jeff sighed as he moved up to order their food. "I sure hope so. Two, please. Thank you," he turned back to Trent. "Do you think what we're doing's wrong?"

"What?"

The pair sat down at an empty table, awaiting the rest of the Warblers to join them once they finish their own shopping escapades. "I mean—"

"Jeffery," Trent scowled, flicking the boy with his chopsticks, "swallow your food, then talk."

Jeff rolled his eyes and swallowed dramatically, before starting again. "Do you think that we should be watching the, y'know, the DVDs?"

Trent shrugged.

"But, I just feel like it's an invasion of privacy. I know I wouldn't want you guys watching videos of my life."

"Yeah, but—" Trent huffed. "Do you want Kurt and Blaine together or not?"

"Yes I do—"

"Then, there," said Thad. "Settled."

. . . GLEE . . .

It wasn't long until Wes managed to gather the Warblers into his room. Nick and Jeff had taken over Wes' bed whilst the others crashed on the floor or managed to snag a chair or bean bag from the commons.

Sitting back down, Wes pressed play.

The scene immediately showed Mr Schuester writing on the white board.

"Ballad. From Middle English 'balade'. Who knows what this word means?"

"It's a male duck."

"Wait, what? I don't even get that."

"Kurt."

"A ballad is a love song."

Blaine smiled. He was kicked by David.

"Sometimes, but they don't always express love."

Wes nodded. Very true.

"Ballads are stories set to music, which is why they are the perfect form of self-expression. Stories and music are the way we express feelings that we can't get out any other way. Okay, now Sectionals is in a few weeks and there is a new rule this year. We have to perform . . . a ballad."

"Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio Show Choir Committee finally paid off."

"Hold up," Thad said, looking at Wes, "one, since when was a ballad a rule and two, I swear Ohio doesn't even have a show choir committee."

Blaine nodded, "I always thought that most clubs did a ballad for contrast. Ballad, up-beat, ballad, up-beat, right?"

"I have no idea," shrugged Wes, "But . . . eh, whatever."

"'Oooh', yeah."

"What're they 'ooh-ing' about?"

"Your fault for not listening!"

"Shut up, David."

"I put all your names in this hat. Whoever you choose is your partner."

"Forever!"

"I'd laugh if Kurt got, like Finn or Quinn or something like that."

"Poor Kurtie."

"I bet that duck's in the hat."

"I still do not get that joke."

"Is it meant to be a joke?"

"I have no idea."

"But Matt's out sick today. He had to go to the hospital 'cause they found a spider in his ear."

"I guess I'll just have to put my name in there for now. Who's up first?"

Puck stood up.

"Matt," Trent said, looking around the room.

Nick spoke up, "I'll take you up on that." He surveyed the now paused glee club on screen and took out five dollars from his wallet (Trent had done the sam). "Rachel."

"Mercedes."

"I'll take that," Wes smirked, pocketing his friends' money. "Losers."

"All right."

Artie rolled up, "Quinn."

"Argh," Blaine groaned, rolling onto the floor, "can we please skip this?"

Jeff – closest to the remote – reached over and skipped forward, the image on the television spurring forward, until Nick told Jeff to stop as the auditorium came on to the screen.

"Sing to me everything you feel."

"Whoa, Kurt, slow down."

"Uh, okay—I can't! I can't sing to a dude."

"What? Why not? Kurt's an awesome dude," David said.

"You have to try."

"I can't! Okay? I can't! I'm sick and tired of people pushing me to be someone I'm not."

"Whoa, calm down, Finn."

Jeff huffed, "Like he'd know what being pushed to be something you're not feels like."

Nick rubbed the boy's shoulder.

"— I — I'm just under a load of crap right now."

"Girls—"

"Are great."

"Shut up, Flint."

"—they're your problem. They're up, they're down—"

"With me their sideways, standing-up—"

"I swear to god I will hit you with Wes' gavel, Flint."

"It's the baby. She's my daughter and— there are so many things I want to say to her, and I'm never going to be able to."

"Aww . . . !"

"Like what?"

"Well . . . like how I don't want her to think her father just abandoned her. How I would do anything for her. How no matter what I do that I'm always thinking about her. How I'm gonna spend my whole life loving her and she's never even gonna know."

"Aww . . . OW! Wes!"

"You deserved it, Trent. Now shut up and watch."

Trent snapped his fingers at Wes, but stayed silent.

"You got to let it out."

". . . how?"

"By singing about it. 'I'll Stand By You' by The Pretenders. It's in your wheelhouse. And I know you know it from the radio because it's a classic. And you do well with classics, especially in the soft rock mode."

"He—"

"Shhh!"

"Yeah, I do like the song but how's it gonna make me feel better again?"

"By singing it out . . . to the audience. Imagine your little girl sitting there. Thank God I never missed a piano lesson."

As Kurt began to play, Jeff snuggled closer to Nick, Flint shuffling away from them to avoid being accidently sprayed with rainbows, unicorns and lollipops.

Oh, why you look so sad?

Tears are in your eyes,

Come on and come to me now.

Wes and David looked at each other and began to sway in time with Kurt's piano playing. Soon, the others (sans Blaine) joined in, swaying to the notes.

When the night falls on you,

You don't know what to do,

Nothing you confess,

Could make me love you less.

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Nick mouthed the words to the top of Jeff's head. Jeff didn't notice.

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

When the night falls on you, baby,

You're feeling all alone,

You won't be on your own.

I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

Take me in, into your darkest hour,

And I'll never desert you,
I'll stand by you,

I'll stand by you,

Won't let nobody hurt you,

I'll stand by you.

The song finished in the auditorium, but cut off abruptly before it showed a McKinley hallway. Finn and Quinn were arguing, but they could only hear snippets of their concersation.

"—told your mom! What if she tells my mom?"

"Oh my . . . Finn blabbed about the baby?!" Jeff exclaimed. "That's terrible!"

Flint shrugged, "Someone was gonna notice. No point in hiding it."

"—who else do you want to tell, huh?"

"But she's not—she's not going to tell anyone—"

"You're wrong, I'm right, You're smart, I'm dumb—"

"Oh, wow ," Nick said. "She makes me glad I'm gay."

"Hey, she's pregnant," Wes interjected. "Give her a break."

"I know," Mercedes was saying. "I just feel so bad for them, having to go through all this on their own."

Kurt nodded, "Let me see what I can do. I'll report back later."

"— s-she doesn't talk to other moms!"

Kurt strode up to Finn. "How do you explain her constant irritation with you?"

"Girls are like that," Flint shrugged.

"It's because she's a girl."

"Called it!"

"Nah . . . it's just the pregnancy hormones of something, they make her kinda nuts."

Wes chuckled, "'Kind of'."

"It's enough to want to give up women all together."

"Yeah, ha . . . anyway, thanks for the advice about singing to the baby, it worked like a charm. I owe you one, dude."

"Whoa, wait . . ." Trent held up his hand, silencing Wes. "Why hasn't Blaine said anything?"

The entire room turned to look at Blaine – sitting on his bed, holding a pillow to his chest. David leapt up. "Blaine . . . are you okay?"

He shook his head (much like a five year-old).

"What's wrong?"

Blaine rolled over, stuffing his face with linen. "Gurt's flerten eff ehn!"

"English, please," said Wes, sighing.

Blaine pulled his head from the bed. "Kurt's flirting with Finn. Finn."

The Warblers groaned.

David rolled his eyes, "Really, Blaine? That's why you're sulking?"

"They're step-brothers, anyway," Wes said. "It's not like he's your competition."

"What does Finn have that I haven't?"

"Oh, dear God," Flint muttered. "Height? Straight hair? A dick?"

"Shut up" Blaine lobbed a pillow at Flint, but it missed by a metre, landing closer to the single body known as Niff. Pouting, Blaine got up and left Wes' room with a slight mumbling of, "I need some fresh air."

The boys were silent for a moment.

Nick (who else?) broke the silence. "So . . . are we gonna keep watching?"

"Only got four minutes left," Wes said. "Why not?"

The Warblers all turned back to the screen where they were surprised to see a large amount of text. Pausing it, they read.

Due to Gaylene's heart-eyes, Man Boobs went and told Q's parents about their baking bun.
They kicked her out.

Lord Gay and Finnasaurus Rex shared some talkie time in a house surrounded by insufferable amounts of denim.

Sadly I didn't get footage because I have better things to do with my life than creep on bags of hormones all day. That and their personalities give me hives.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one who really wants to meet this Sue Sylvester," Flint said to the room in general. "She seems so cool."

Wes and David shared a look.

Wes pressed play.

"So they just . . . kicked her out?"

"Yeah – gave her half an hour to pack. Her father set the timer on the microwave."

Nick rubbed Jeff's arms soothingly.

"I'm sorry; I guess my plan kinda sucked."

"No, ah . . . this is good. No more secrets, now everything's out there, all the feelings. And that's better, right?"

Trent nodded. That was true.

Kurt nodded, "Yes. Better."

"Good, now, ah . . . let's work on your ballad. You were really helpful when I was trying to find mine. So what is it?"

"Oh!" Jeff raised his hand. "I'm Not That Girl. Wicked."

"Agony, Into The Woods."

"Lily's Eyes from The Secret Garden."

"I honestly love you."

Jeff's brow furrowed, "What musical's that from?"

The rest of the boys gaped at him.

"What?"

". . . sound awesome. I dunno the song, ah . . . or whatever, but it sounds positive and nice and stuff."

And here so forth a large, black mass entered and the retched Glee Club sang some song about leaning.

". . . that's it?" Trent asked. "Lame."

Jeff frowned. "Poor Kurt."

"Poor Blaine," Nick amended. "Where'd he go?"

Wes shrugged as he switched DVDs.

. . . GLEE . . .

Outside in the senior commons, Blaine had his phone out.

Hey Kurt. Do you think your friends from ND would like to come to our Valentine's performance Breadstix? –B

I'll ask. I'm sure the latest couples will be there. Heard back from Jeremiah? – K

No. Do you mind if you went to the gap with me after his shift. I need to talk 2 him and might need moral support – B

Is that all I am now? Moral support? Sure Blaine – K

Sweet – B

See you 2night? – K

Yup – B

. . . GLEE . . .

Like it? Hate it? Review it!

I wanted to add the scene with them in Finn's basement and the discussion about Kurt's mum/Finn's dad, but my friend pointed out that it would be unlikely that Sue would bug their basement. Their houses and rooms, sure, but their basement. So . . . sorry if you wanted it in there :/

Fun fact? Before this, I'd never seen Ballads, so I watched it for the first time writing this, whilst sobbing and rocking back and forth from second-hand embarrassment. Oh my god.

Next episode: Hairography (most likely an Easter gift in 2 years, the way I'm going)

~Emily

(And, as always, I'm passion-of-a-different-kind . tumblr . com)