Refuge in Insanity

0

Naruto x Duela

0

Author's Note

0

Story Start

0

He was simply walking through the market unaware that he was going to be one of two key opponents that would cause mayhem throughout the worlds. He had spiky blond hair, cerluean blue eyes, and dark whiskers; three on each cheek. He was a young man with smooth features, above average height and was wearing a black and red-orange Gi. He was bopping his head to his own beat and ignoring the stares and whispers.

Though he wasn't the only one drawing whiskers. On the other side of the store was a young woman with short red hair, violet eyes, and cosmetic white skin. She was wearing a cleavage and midriff bearing violet top with coat tails and second skin tight violet pants.

And the moment these two would meet was the first stop of the never ending chaos and insanity. ''Hey...what do you think of my melons?'' The red-head woman asked the blond as he looked up from the hot sause bottle he was reading.

The blond raised an eyebrow as he looked every which way for the melons. Up and down. Left and right. He even spun around several times as a question mark formed above his head. ''I don't see any melons.'' He said titling his head. ''Are they invisible melons?'' He asked as his face lit up. ''That kicks so much ass! I've been looking for those forever!''

''No silly! The twins!'' She said as the blond scratched his head.

''The Melons are twins?'' He asked as the girl giggled.

''You're funny. Cute too,'' She said as she bent over slightly to gaze at her whiskers as her chest jiggled a bit. ''Oh are those real? I also wanted to get wings, but the doctors said that wasn't possible.'' The red head said with a snort. ''I say it's discrimination. It's because I'm a red-head and they were blondes! That's what it was.''

''Mehehe...Jiggly.'' He said as he gazed at her low neckline. ''Like Jello. I like Jello.''

''I like jello too! Do you like Pizza!''

''Hellsyeah...especially...in America!''

''We're in America!'' The woman declared as the blond's eyes lit up.

''No way!''

''Way!''

''That's awesome! Hey I know...wanna go do something stupid?''

''Okay?''

Half an hour later the duo found themselves on top of a roof enjoying triple scooped Vanilla ice cream cones with chocolate sauce and sprinkes; everyone knows that chocolate sauce and sprinkles kick ass.

''So what's your story jiggly bits?''

''Well I came to this city because I want to become a superherione. I want to atone for my parent's crimes.''

''So who are you parents?''

''Catwoman and Penguin...or was it the Scarcrow? I get confused sometimes...''

''No way? Catwoman's a milf? Awesome!'' The blond said nibbling on his Ice Cream some more. ''Hey...I don't think you look like them. You look like that other guy? King? Ace?''

''Oh yeah that's it!'' The girl said slamming her fist into her hand nearly dropping her ice cream in the process. ''I'm the Joker's daughter.''

''Wow...''

''I know...freaky that he has a daughter huh?''

''No...it's freaky that he had sex. Hey so what's your name?''

''Duela...Duela Dent. I think I might be Two-Face's daughter because that's what it says on my birth certificate but those can be easily faked.''

''Aah yes...Double D indeed. I'm Naruto...Naruto Uzumaki and I am immortal...I had to deal with nine demonic voices in my head for thousands of years as I was stuck in limbo. I think I might be insane...but I get the power of the nine in exchange so everything works out. So why do you want to become a hero? That sucks! They care too much about public opinion and never kill the dangerous criminals who keep going around and killing innocent people and loves ones. If it was me I would be sand coffining the head of super villains left and right. Then again I don't trust too me of those heroes as it is. Like Batman for example...he's obviously human so he has to have a shit ton of money for all of those toys. So why isn't some of that money being dedicated to causes like orphans or what not?''

''But if no one knows who Batman is how can you say he's not dedicating to charities and stuff.''

''Aah yes but how can you say he is?''

''Aah touche. Well I don't want to be a villain. They always get their asses kicked in the end. Also because every time people see me they run away like I'm going to gas them or something or keep their distance from me. I think it has something to do with my hair. When will people stop discriminating against us red-heads!''

''I feel your pain. Oh I know...let's become the world's first Super Neutrals!'' Naruto declared as Duela raised an eye in confusion.

''Say what now?''

''We won't be heroes or villains. Will just be kick ass super...super somethings. I don't know let's just do what we feel is right or just to screw with people. That would be awesome...I always wanted a partner to cause mayhem with. No one would ever pull pranks with me.'' Naruto said with a sad, dejected look.

''Aaw...'' Duela said ruffling his hair. ''I'll help you...it sounds fun!''

''Yeah and we need to be infamous. Everyone should know who we are! It'll be awesome...but how do we bring people attention to us in the fastest way possible?''

''Celebrity couples seem to bring about the most attention.''

''Hhm I suppose. You're pretty cute! Hey Duela want to be my girlfriend and eventually sexy time fun buddy.''

''Okay...'' she said with a grin. ''I never had a sexy time fun buddy before.''

''Sweet time to go kick some assssssssss.'' Naruto wailed as he tried to stand up but ended up going over the edge.

''Hey...fun buddy? You okay?'' Duela said peering down at Naruto who raised up a thumb.

''Yeah...luckily my head broke my fall! As soon as I dislodged this rock from my spine our kickass reign of insanity will begin.''

And all at once Six Billion being shuttered and didn't know why.