Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

Hello again, I told you I would have another story out soon. This is something different, nothing I've ever written before so I hope you all like it. Special thanks to my beta for cleaning this up for me, much love!

Involves drinking, smoking, strip clubs, affairs, cheating, lemons, heavy stuff. Don't like it, don't read. Simple.

Enjoy.


Prologue

EPOV

This is wrong, this is so wrong. Our entire relationship has been wrong... but if being wrong means feeling this good, I don't want it to be right.

This, whatever this is, should have never happened. I'm supposed to be a married man; at least I should be tomorrow. I should have listened to everyone who told me to call off the wedding in the beginning. Now, it's too late. Everything is fucked up but I don't care as long as I can have this beautiful woman by my side.

"Edward," she whispers above me. She's beautiful. The way the moonlight shines from my window onto her face, the way her lips are parted as she rocks her hips back and forth on me and the way she suddenly takes her bottom lip between her teeth engrosses me.

Her eyebrows have furrowed together, concentrating on making both of us feel good for what could be the last time if everything doesn't work out. One hand is in her hair while the other lies flat on my chest. Her eyes are closed tight as she speaks again, "Edward."

I pull her down to me so my face is in the crook of her neck; I kiss her there before resting my lips by her ear, "Yes, love?"

"Tell me you love me," she moans as I grab onto her hips, speeding her rhythm. Our breathing becomes heavier and her moans grow louder.

She's killing me, and she knows it. She knows if I say those words then she has me. But how can I deny her? She does have me, wrapped around her small but strong fingers. I should have known this is how it would've turned out with us, Jasper warned me.

"Be careful with her. She's a manipulative one. I've seen it happen. All it takes is one look from her and guys are hooked," he told me.

I'm more than hooked, I'm fucking addicted. Addicted to the way we fit so perfectly in each other, the way she makes me feel when we're together and the way my name rolls off her lips as she climaxes.

She's like my own personal brand of heroin.

"I love you, so fucking much," I say as we come hard together, all but yelling each other's names and how much we love each other. Our chests rise and fall quickly as we try and catch our breath. I kiss her face and wrap my arms around her. She pulls away and slides herself off of me. We lay together, me staring at my ceiling and her with her back facing me, silently.

This isn't normally how it is when we finish. We usually want to be all over each other. Kissing and hugging each other or holding onto to each other for dear life because we know this moment we're sharing together won't last forever. Soon, someone will call us telling us to put our clothes back on because I have to go get ready for the wedding even though I won't be going down the aisle.

I turn on my side, scooting closer until my chest is pressed up against her back. I move the hair that's covering her shoulder and kiss there. She shivers and her breaths become uneven.

"I really do love you," I tell her. My words have never been so true. Not even with my own fiancé.

I kiss her shoulder again. She moves before I can wrap my arms around her again. She sits all the way up, back still facing me. She moves her hair onto her right shoulder, showing off the blue butterfly tattoo.

"What's wrong?" I ask running my fingers down her spine. She shivers again but doesn't say anything. I put my lips to her back, "Please tell me," I whisper against her.

She arches her back in attempt to get away from me, "If you really love me you just would leave her." The cracking in her voice lets me know she is crying.

Fuck.

I sit up all the way, too.

"You know I would if it were that simple, Bella."

"So make it simple, Edward. Just leave her," she snaps, spinning fast to finally look at me.

This is, I've tried and it isn't as simple as we would like it to be. My fiance is a smart, spiteful bitch to let me go easily.

Strands of her hair stick to her tear stained cheeks. The look she's giving me is enough to make me feel like a dickhead for putting her through this all these months. It's my entire fault we're in the situation. It was only supposed to be a one night stand, we were both drunk off our asses, but it quickly became more than that. What sucks even more is I don't regret a thing and neither does she.

I truly love Bella and if the circumstances were different, I would say it aloud. I'd be proud to put an engagement ring on her finger. I'd show her off to my family. I'd call her my wife and try for children with her.

Pinching the bridge of my nose I sit up and groan, frustrated with myself and this situation that is my fault. She looks away again; putting her face in her hands and continues to cry. I want to touch her, comfort her and let her know it'll be okay, that she has nothing to worry about and I'll call the wedding off in the morning, but even I wouldn't be able to believe me.

"I'm sorry," I say. It's not enough though. I owe her much more than an apology for these last months but she knows it's the best I can do until everything is settled.

She sniffs, running her fingers through her hair again and pushing it to the left side covering her tattoo. I feel the bed shift a little and watch as she turns around to crawl on her hands and knees to me. She pushes me back down with one of her hands and climbs on top of me. She lightly brushes her lips against mine, making me lean up for me. She pushes me back down again, but comes down with me.

"Love me," She says in the smallest whisper.

I only nod before pushing her over to be on top and kissing her temple, "Always."


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