And with that, I was gone.
I actually ended up jumping out of the window, Shifting in midair. My paws hit soft ground, and I was running. I wasn't even concious of the direction in which I was headed. I wondered if this was how Lake felt, like if you ran fast enough, you could outrun the world. You could outrun your troubles, your worries, your fears, and then you would be okay again, but I knew it would never be okay again for a long time. Lucas was gone.
I could remember the feeling of his hands on my waist, his lips on mine. Why did he never tell me that he planned to challenge Bryn? The only reason that I could think of was that he didn't want me to talk him out of it. I could have; I'm positive. I would have convinced him that Bryn wasn't like Shay; she never made anyone do anything. Of course, that's what I would have said. It didn't even register with me that Bryn told Lucas to lie down, she forced him to roll over, and then she... no. I couldn't even bear to think about that. When I first joined her pack after living with the Rabid for so long, I thought the rest of my time in Bryn's pack was going to be wonderful, because she would never, ever, use her Alpha status to make anyone do anything. Was I wrong.
I kept running, past trees, over rocks, through streams, trying to rid my head of Lucas, but he kept sneaking back. Our lips touching for the last time, his arms around my waist, trying to pull me closer, even though we already crushed together as close as physically possible.
I suddenly realized that I must not have been enough to him. He must have known that if he had defeated Bryn, then Devon would have challenged him and killed him. He must have known that. So, I must not have been enough for him to live for. The sudden realization made the tears that I had been holding on to for so long finally fall. The welled up and blurred my vision, to the point where I could no longer see, but I kept running. Perhaps I wasn't running fast enough, because Lucas was still here, in my head.
And then I ran into a tree.
I sat there, still crying, dazed and confused. After a few moments, I laughed, although it came out as a strangled bark. A werewolf, run into a tree? Our reflexes were supposed to be so fast that we didn't do things like that, yet here I was, with a bump rapidly growing on my forehead, because I ran into a tree. Lucas would have thought that was funny.
No. I thought. Lucas wouldn't have cared, because he obviously didn't care that much about me. As much as it pained me to admit it, I was certain that it was true. I was just a distraction for him until he could find a chance to take over Cedar Ridge. I blinked away the tears from my eyes. I was not going to be the victim of his cruel manipulation; I was going to stand up for myself. I was the only lone female wolf on the North American continent; I was not about to let some boy rip me down. I picked myself up, and decided to go north. My destiny lay elsewhere.