Title: i'm not afraid anymore, darling
Summary: let's send our fears away.
Pairing: multiple pairings from the show – so yes. it contains slash. don't read it if you don't like it.
Note: lol why am i so bad at writing.
what's in a word? why are people so obsessed with the word love? why can't we figure it out ourselves and let the puzzle pieces fit together instead of guaranteeing it with a word? i hope you don't think i don't lo-
beck – just catch the way i look at you.
i have so many words on my tongue, beck. i just can't say them. i care for you so very much – although i might not be able say it.
p.s. if you show this to anyone, you will never ever have sex with me again.
you – you with your red hair and your laugh – the way you breathe in the sunshine – the way you tickle people's hearts.
you are so beautiful, cat. i don't even think it's fair – how beautiful you are. the way you get upset – the way your mouth turns down and your eyes fill with fear. when you're happy and your eyes are star studded and you grin so that i can see every tooth.
cat, i could so easily love you – love you so much that people stare at our faithfulness.
people come and go, cat, but i want to be with you for the rest of my life.
please cat, if you could love me, tell me. i want to be with you.
p.s. i'll leave rex at home if you want to meet up... just... in case.
i am so tremendously in love with you that my heart physically pangs – and yes, i've talked to doctors and they've said the same thing.
baby, i'm lovesick.
i'm so happy i'm with you. you make me shine. i'm so in love with you that i can say that without laughing. you make me shine.
come back as soon as you can from your aunt's house. i want to kiss you on the beach and let the sand glide against our backs.
your laugh, tori. that's how i get up in the morning. i need you here, next to me.
p.s. seriously. i haven't gotten to see your cute ass in three weeks and i'm unbearably horny.
p.p.s. but i still love you.
p.p.p.s. i love you a lot.
you taste like rainbows and you smell like a fresh daisy – and i'm pretty sure you're my prince charming. i'm so much happier with you, andre – than I am with anyone else.
when you're away - i have this sting in my heart and it hurts. :(
when you're right next to me, i want to be closer – and when you talk to other girls, sometimes i feel this mean voice in my head that says she's ugly – even when she's not! sometimes people talk about this feeling – jade and tori felt the same way with a boy too!1!1!
you are so nice to me, andre, and you have never ever ever ever ever called me crazy. you kiss so nicely – like a butterfly!
i love you. :)
it's been five months.
why the fuck did we get together again?
oh right, I was really drunk and then –
i can't believe i'm even saying this – but uh.
i like to spend time with you. you're not that bad.
okay, i'm going to stop this letter before i throw up.
p.s. I do... kind of li-
p.p.s oh fuck. never mind.
uhm. what can i say? you were there when i needed to get over your sister and –
you're actually not a bad kisser and –
thanks. for everything.
i wrote you a song... it's called: unbelievable.
it's with this letter.
just read the lyrics, okay?
AND DON'T TRY TO SING IT. GET TORI.
p.s. and that thing you do with your tongue? that's hot.
to my lovely jade,
you told me not to ever to initiate anything romantic... but i love you.
the way you wake up in the morning with your makeup rubbed off and your eyes electric. you think i'm smarter than a lot of people and that always makes me feel happy – like i just ate a bunch of chocolate bars.
you tell me not to eat chocolate but – it's just so yummy and you taste like it sometimes even though i know you're allergic. i think you're so amazing jade – and i like spending as much time with you as i can. :)
the way you make me feel - i feel like i'm flying. the way you whisper my name in the dark - i feel like i'm invincible. i will never get enough of you. don't ever get jealous because i'll never leave you for anyone else!1! promise!1!
p.s. you can burn this, if you want. just remember i love you. i will stay quiet about us as long as you need me to.
p.p.s you smell really good.
you: your stupid pick up lines, the way you call me baby, the way you always talk about my cheekbones, the way you call me your shakira, the way you kiss me before i leave you, the way you hold me in the middle of the night, the way you never ask for directions when we're lost, your rv, your optimism, your warm hands in mine, your hair – which is long due for a haircut, your cute smile when i say i love you, the way you look in the sun, the way you care when i cry, the way you write in your slanted handwriting, the way you show me what you love, the way you tell me how you feel... the way you are you:
these are the reasons i love you.
and this isn't some high school crush – i could love you forever.
p.s. if you dare tell my father we have sex, i will kill you.
p.p.s also if you break my heart, i will get my father to kill you.
p.p.p.s but you know, i still love you.
you always see the good in things. i always know you will be the highlight of my day.
i love you so much.
p.s. but just because i love you doesn't mean we can play dress up again. that was only that one time.
when i heard you sing, i fell in love with you. the way you sang my lyrics with your angel voice - i knew at that moment that we could be perfect. that i would never find someone so great.
and here we are, a year later, and still in love.
every moment with you has been beautiful.
p.s. you and i – we're the forever kind of people.
i hooked up with you because i'd never hooked up with a black guy –
and oh my lord, they were right when they said: when you go black, you'll never go back.
p.s. you can tell tori that we hooked up.
p.p.s actually please do. she doesn't seem to believe it.
so uhm, we hooked up one time behind the school – and I didn't even know that dudes could bend like that – and uh.
it was really hot.
actually, really hot.
so uh, if you ever want to do that again... uh, i'm single and uh, when you had your glasses off – you actually looked really sexy and it's really hard not to fuck you against the wall – even though i know you've actually had more uh... man-on-man experience than me and uh...
text me because you make really really sexy noises when you... and uh...
p.s. and that one move when you swerved me around?
p.p.s. okay, you have to come soon before i explode.
you're actually really sexy when you moan and –
p.s. if you tell anyone about us, i will probably have to come back to your house and punish you.
p.p.s. if you're really as dumb as your sister, that means i'm coming with toys.
i never really knew that you could be so nice to me.
i never knew you could be gentle.
i'm so scared of what this means and what we can be –
but i want to know.
p.s. you are beautiful, jade. please, i want to be with you.
to beck(and uh, robbie too),
that one time robbie was joking around and dared us all to jack off together.
that was kind of really really really –
call me if you guys want to do that again.
p.s. and the way you guys stared at my dick was kind of really hot.
p.p.s. don't mention this to anyone.