"Oh my god, Blaine! Look at this!" Kurt squealed, tossing the magazine into my lap. He was lying on his bed, leaning upside down off the side, with me sitting on the floor right beside him. It had been a week or so since The Fateful Night, I like to call it, and I haven't been able to get those videos out of my head. And a certain email sent by Brittany along the lines of "if you want your dolphin in full sex mode, you should've watched Single Ladies." Needless to say that stuck with me.
A playful smack on the shoulder brought me back down to earth. "Ow!" I exclaimed, looking up at Kurt with my best puppy dog eyes, rubbing my abused limb. He giggled and pointed to the edition of Vogue in my lap. He got off the bed and sat down next to me.
"I've been talking for the past five minutes and all you've been doing is staring off into space mumbling incoherently." He smirked. "Have you been diagnosed with a mental disease recently?" I almost laughed out loud. If only he knew how close he came to driving me nuts.
"I'm pleased to inform you that no, I have not," I insisted. "I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all." He raised an eyebrow at me, and I used all my self control to simply smile reassuringly. "I swear, I'm not crazy."
Kurt shrugged. "Well, what's on your mind?" I sighed. Here goes. He's going to think I'm a complete pervert.
"How much of the Single Ladies dance to you remember?" There was a silence for a moment, and I thought I was going to get smacked.
"You want me to dance to Single Ladies for you?" he asked, and I found myself turning beet red. That's it. The end has come. "Well then I'll have to get into costume."
I nearly choked on air. "C-c-costume?" I gasped out. Where did this new flirty, confident take-charge Kurt come from and where can I get some more?
"Blaine, every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion," he replied, like it was basic logic everyone should know by the time they're three and jumped up from his spot next to me. He rifled through his closet until he apparently found what he was looking for. I moved my head around like a fiend trying to get a glimpse of the ensemble, but he disappeared into the bathroom before I could get a close look.
After what seemed like an eternity, Kurt emerged from the bathroom and I felt like I was going to pass out. "It's kind of tight, I haven't worn it since last year," he said.
I knew I looked like a complete pig, but I just couldn't get my jaw off the floor or my eyes off of him. He was wearing a black spandex top with a sequined black vest over top of it, incredibly tight black skinny jeans that hugged him in exactly the right places, and his uniform - my uniform tie to top it off.
Kurt sashayed over to the iPod dock, searched through his songs until he hit "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)." "Warning: Brittany taught me this, and it gets kind of steamy, so, if I embarrass myself, I sorely apologize," he warned, getting into a starting position and pressing 'play.'
He started, moving those hips I love so much from side to side. He continued to just sway from side to side, then suddenly kicked his leg in the air at now put your hands up!, raising his hands with it. They rested on his hips and once those hips started moving again, I was lost. I heard him stifle a giggle and I found myself trying to shut my mouth on more than one occasion. I tore my eyes away from his hips to look at his face, which read, "Hell, yeah, I'm sexy!" He moved his leg to meet his other and dipped his head, holding out one hand and I crossed my legs tightly, trying and failing to think of completely un-sexy things, like owls and home-furnishings.
Seeing the videos was great, but in person it was like he'd been transformed. It seemed as though he'd forgotten where he was as he ran in a little circle. He faced away from me and his leg shook slightly and I tried to find lint on his back or something, but my eyes kept wandering lower. He turned back around and I saw he wasn't even looking at me. It was like he was pretending he was performing for a sold-out stadium of screaming fans. Oh, god, the dance has to include him spreading his legs like that? I said, remembering my reaction last time I saw him do that. And that was on a video. His hands combed through his hair and he smacked the side of his butt and I found myself probably resembling a ripe tomato. He began to walk in one direction, then flipped his head in a way that should be illegal and flipped the other way. He began to move his hands in front of his face, and then the unimaginable happened.
He moved his hips in a way I'd never seen before and was definitely not prepared for. All coherent thoughts left my mind and all I could think about was "Kurt," "hips," "crotch" and "yum." I tried desperately not to babble, but my mouth was already open and there was no stopping the bizarre not-words that came out of my mouth. I vaguely saw a blush spread across Kurt's face as he continued.
The moment ended much too soon as he kneeled on one knee, rolled his shoulder in a way that somehow drove me nuts, and his fingers crawled down his jeans and made me blush even redder, if that were possible at this point. He got back up and started moving his hips side to side again. They jerked sharply to the left as he waved his hand across his face. Then the pointed directly at me, a little smirk playing on his face for half a second, and adjusted his hair.
He crouched and began…god, is there even a word for that? Thrusting? No, it's better than thrusting. It's like, heaven on freaking earth! Again, the moment lasted much shorter than I would've liked, and he kicked his leg up in the air as if preparing for a kick line, followed by a bunch of elaborate hand movements. Then, it was over. I looked up at him, probably looking like a complete ditz. He turned bright red and said, "Oh, god, I knew this was a bad idea! I'm sorry if I totally freaked you out! God, I am such an idiot, why would I even think of -"
I grabbed his tie and yanked him towards me, smashing our lips together. At first he was stunned but he soon got into it, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me closer.
He pulled away far too soon and said, "So, I'll take it you liked it?" with a smug grin on his face. I nodded until I had a headache and pulled him back in. But of course he decided to pull away and say, "Ha ha ha ha ha!" in an obnoxious sing-song voice. "You thought I couldn't be sexy!"
:P Oh, Kurt. So what do you think? Good enough little epilogue there? I thought so.
I was trying to make it so it didn't make Kurt seem like a super-slut, but I guess I'll go with "he's a little naive and didn't think that would turn Blaine on, considering the whole gas-pains debacle." So, he did the dance like Brittany taught him, and it turned Blaine on quite a bit. :D
PS- I'm on tumblr! It'll mostly just be updates on how stories are going mixed in with random tweet-like messages, and, (BONUS!) sneak peeks at my latest stories or chapters I'm going to update. So, if you've got a tumblr, check it out!