Title: The Spatula Test The Lost Lemon
Category: Anime/Manga » Junjō Romantica
Author: Cerberus Revised
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M
Genre: Romance/Humor
Published: 06-22-11, Updated: 06-23-11
Chapters: 3, Words: 4,877

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Set Up

The Spatula Test – The Lost Lemon: Getting It On At Pandasan

If you haven't read "The Spatula Test" yet, I encourage you to, at least chapter's fourteen and fifteen. The end of chapter fifteen is where the lemon in chapter two here starts up.

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or any of Jonjou Romantica's characters or Sekia-ichi Hatsukoi's. The Pandasan girls are mine though- in all their fangirl glory.

Rated: M or NC-17

Contains: Occasional harsh language, Sexual situations

All I get from writing this is the creation of my own and hopefully others pleasure. This is dedicated to OneWingedEggplant and JemCarstairs

I hope you enjoy it and as always, any feedback is greatly appreciated.



Chapter One: The Set Up

Hiroki and Akihiko were having coffee at the cafe across from the flower shop where Nowaki worked. The purpose of their meeting was twofold.

For Hiroki, this meant looking at Akihiko's new manuscript and spying on Nowaki.

Ever since Hiroki's mother's visit, Nowaki had seemingly become far more secure in their relationship and his jealousy, while still there, had much abated.

On the flip side of this, for every notch that Nowaki's insecurity had gone down, Hiroki's had in equal measure gone up. It didn't help that the florist shop had recently hired two new trainees: cute, playful, college boys who seemed completely smitten with Nowaki and Hiroki didn't like this one bit.

For Akihiko, the dual purpose of this conference was to have Hiroki look at his new manuscript and to see if he couldn't pull from his old friend any tidbits about the kind of perversions the professor had been engaging in with that giant of his. Akihiko had a new BL novel to write and he was looking for inspiration.

The author had learned long ago there were two ways to get honest information out of Hiroki without the man realizing what he was saying. One was to get him drunk, which was expensive and a bit dangerous. The other was to talk to him while he was reading or typing something: Hiroki would tell you almost anything and then promptly forget it.

"So, I imagine that having your mother stay with you put a bit of a crimp on your love life for a few days." Akihiko looked over his mug at the furrowed brow of his friend and unofficial editor, as Hiroki began waging war on his prose with a red pen.

"Not, hardly," Hiroki snorted, engrossed in the pages. "Nowaki and I rutted like rabbits the whole time she was here." Hiroki said this deadpan without a hint of blush. "No pun intended," he added, referencing both Akihiko's own insatiable reputation and the ridiculous nickname given to him by his barely legal brat.

"Oh, really?" Akihiko tried not to sound too interested. "Anything new or out of the ordinary?"

"Are you trying to live vicariously through the exploits of others, since you can't get that boy toy of yours to give it up to you anywhere other than your condo or the occasional back seat shag?" Hiroki did not looked up from the manuscript while issuing this comment.

"Am I to infer from your insults that you and that brat of your own have become more creative in your lovemaking venues, as of late?"

If Hiroki had bothered to look up, he would have immediately noticed the distinctly feline squint of Akihiko's lavender eyes. If the man had had a tail, it would have been twitching dangerously.

"Well, Nowaki and I did have this fantastic round in the men's room at Pandasan."

"Isn't that a family restaurant?"

"Well the dining room may have been 'G' but the restroom was definitely rated 'X.'"

Not a bad line to open a chapter with, Akihiko mused.

Hiroki looked up at his friend suddenly. Akihiko's eyes widened with the fear that maybe Hiroki had at long last caught on to his tactics. He exhaled an in audible sigh of relief when instead, Hiroki just scowled at him fiercely.

"You couldn't possibly have meant to write this sentence this way. I've read it three times and it still doesn't make sense." Hiroki held out a heavily marked page for Akihiko to peruse.

What Hiroki didn't know was that Akihiko purposely peppered his draft with just such sentences on purpose. They made the most perfect distractions.

"I'll correct that later,"Akihiko started to say, but he could tell that Hiroki had already moved on to another page.

Akihiko took out a pen of his own and reached for the tiny notebook he kept in his jacket pocket. He leaned in towards his oblivious companion.

"So, Hiroki, why don't you tell me what made that particular fuck so special?"

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