'Maddie is Human, David Divine'
(Maddie and David are both sitting up in a large bed, cushions all around and sheet held high. David has a wide grin spread across his face, whilst Maddie is looking slightly uncomfortable.)
David: Maddie they're here.
Maddie: Oh God David, I'm not sure I wanna do this.
David: What? The epilogue? There's sure gonna be a lot of disappointed people out there...
Maddie: No David, this... (She motioned to the bed)
David: What? You mean like never again? Please don't tell me you're running off to join a nunnery!
Maddie: No David, I mean doing the preview in bed – it doesn't feel right.
David: Believe me baby it feels more than right from where I'm sittin' (He gave her a side-ways smirk).
Maddie: David stop being lewd, we have company...
David: ...But the readers like it when I'm lewd, crude and most of all when I'm...
David: Well I didn't like to blow my own trumpet...
Maddie: Not a good metaphor to use in bed David...can we just get this over with?
David: Get this over with? Boy, are you fun today. (He clears his throat). Hi readers... as you can see we decided to try everything from bed, John and Yoko style...
Maddie: You decided!
David: Okay one of us may have been a little more ready and willing than the other.
Maddie: David – these people tuned in for a preview?
David: Well if you hadn't interrupted... now, where was I? Oh yes- first of all a big thank you for giving us a couple of weeks off- very thoughtful of you. We would like to reassure you that the time was spent wisely, richly and...enjoyably. (Maddie blushed and hid under the sheet). Maddie?
Maddie: I'm not coming out if you keep embarrassing me like that!
David: Okay, okay...I promise to behave. (She pulls the sheet down a little). Now we admit that we toyed with your emotions at the end of 'I am Furious David' so we thought that we ought to make the epilogue official – we will indeed be back on Tuesday with a brand new episode; a two-parter in fact- just to make it up to you! It answers all the questions that you might have about pacts, pals and passion-killers...
Maddie: (She taps him on the shoulder)
David: Oh now you want the floor...go ahead blondie, enlighten us with your wisdom.
Maddie: It also, hopefully, proves that we still have the chemistry, the passion and the feuds post-big bang...
David: Hopefully? (He looks shocked) Hopefully? Maddie why is your glass always half empty honey? Of course we got all that! Otherwise we'd have been hard pushed to fill a two part episode.
Maddie: Well, we'll let them be the judge of that (She looks out at the readers).
David: (To the readers) Well folks...it's over to you then I guess. We hope to see you here on Tuesday- is that a date?
Maddie: Are you asking our readers on a date David? (She smiled) There's one problem with that, I really don't wanna share you...
David: It's only one evening Maddie...
Maddie: (She sighs) Just one evening?
David: Well, okay it's two...but that's it.
Maddie: Two? Ooooookay, I can live with that. See you on Tuesday folks. (She winks)