Disclaimers: All characters belong to their respective owners. I do not own, so please don't bother trying to sue me. The fiction, however, is purely mine. So please, let me know before doing anything with it. Thanks! ^_^

This is my first Cowboy Bebop fic and it is completely AU (Gomen, all you hardcore fans), but I just wanted to write up something a bit different. Enjoy!

~ denotes thoughts

// previous events (conversations)


He hadn't said a word.

They hadn't said a word.

Bang. Slam. Crash. The only sounds that erupted from the otherwise dead kitchen. She went about in automated movements. Dice. Chop. Slice. Fry. Stir Fry. Just the way he liked it.

~ He hates me. ~

The thought alone made her hands tremble and she quickly sucked in a harsh breath, willing her turbulent thoughts to disappear.

// I am really sorry, Mrs. Spiegel. There is nothing we can do for you. //

~ Damn them…~

// Perhaps you should try adopting some children…? //

Pitying eyes. She hated those pitying eyes. They secretly laughed at her. She had almost heard it. They had been mocking her.

~ Damn them all to hell! ~

// You will never be able to bear children. //

~ Never…~ "Never…"

She stole a quick glance at the silent figure. He occupied space, that's all. He had not made a sound. His lanky frame draped lazily across the wooden chair. What could he say? What did she expect him to say?

~ I am so sorry, Spike…~

He wasn't looking at her. He hadn't really looked at her since the fateful announcement. And why should he? She was…barren. Her knuckles tightened over the frying pan handle. She bit her lower lip, fighting back the stubborn tears that threatened to fall. She would not cry. No. She would not give in to this weakness. She was a strong woman and she prided herself in that fact. He had fallen in love with the strong woman, not the weak crybaby. No. Faye Valentine-Spiegel did not cry.

Especially not now.

She placed the plate full of fried vegetables and beef in front of the silent being and waited. It was his favorite. She had made his favorite. It was the least she could do.

Lanky, lean fingers that had caressed her skin in a million and one unimaginable ways picked up a fork and shuffled through the plate absentmindedly. After what seemed to be like an eternity, a forkful of food finally made its way into the slightly parted lips and chewed.

Releasing the breath she was unaware she had been holding, she sat across from him. Her hands flickered across the intricate designs on the placemat before her, her eyes drinking in each lacey line and curve. Why couldn't she look at him? Those brown eyes she had drowned in so many times…

~ Empty. ~

He had shut the door…firmly. Her heart constricted painfully in her throat and she tried hard to push those persistent tears away.

// Are you sure there is nothing we can do, doctor? //

// I am really sorry, Mr. Spiegel. The only other option is for you to adopt. I am sure that…//

// For Chrissakes!! You guys are supposed to be doctors!! Can't you do something?!//

// Mr. Spiegel…I am sorry…//

Frustration. They were both frustrated. They had tried so hard and for so long. She had gotten rid of the pills and diaphragms. He had stopped using his condoms. He thought he had the problem. She had told him otherwise. They had tried again and again. He had wanted to go to the doctor. She had refused. Give it some more time, she had said. She was sure nothing was wrong. She had bought tons of pregnancies tests. They had both done them together.


Each time. The cursed minus sign or the cursed lack of color. He had reasoned that they were all fake. She had begun to doubt herself. And then she had finally made up her mind.

// I think…I think…I should go to the doctor myself. Maybe…there is something wrong with me. //

// Are you sure you want to do this, baby? //

// Yes…I do…I just want to make sure…//

// If you say so. Just remember…I am with you 100% of the way. //

The noisy clatter of metal against glass jerked her back to reality and she dared to steal a glance at the man before her. She noticed that the food was barely touched.

"Are…are…you not hungry?"

The scrap of wood against wood as her mate pushed himself off the table and out of his chair. A languid stretch and a tired yawn followed by a weary scratch on fluffy green hair, greeted her wary visage. Dark brown eyes flickered momentarily over taut pale features.

"I am full. I am going to bed."

He spun around and quickly sank lean hands into his pockets, his hips swaying gently with each footstep, never betraying the tension in his lanky body. He froze at the doorway and tipped his head to the side, not really giving her a full glance.

"You coming or not?"

~ He doesn't really care. Why should he? He hates me now. He is just going through the motions. ~

Green eyes dulled with pain and she managed to croak out her sentence without breaking down.

"Be right there in a jiff. I just need to clean this place up."

Broad shoulders shrugged in dismissal, before disappearing down the long hallway towards their bedroom.

Their bedroom…

Somehow, Faye Spiegel knew that it would be the coldest place she was ever going to be in.


A/N: /twiddles thumbs/ soooooo…what do you guys think? Continue or quit while I am still ahead? Feedback is dearly and greatly appreciated…^_^