a/n I don't own Make It Or Break It, or any of the songs mentioned in here
He watched as his dreams came crashing to a halt. Payson Keeler was in the arms of an idiot. He supposed it was a long time coming. She was going to be eighteen soon, he knew that it was unreasonable to expect her to follow the no dating rule when no one else did. And Max Spencer was just enough of an "artist soul" that Sasha knew the child could spill out just enough pretty words to make Payson believe whatever he wanted her to. It's just that, after she kissed him, he allowed himself to hope, and in one moment he felt his hope crashing down around him. There was no way he could have known he was waiting for her...until he saw his love in the arms of another man.
For once he had a use for fear. His fear had caused him to push her away when she kissed him. He wasn't afraid of the world, just afraid that she wouldn't love him back, but after he pushed her away, everyone assumed it was because he didn't care. It was, really the safest assumption, she was still, legally, jailbait and more than that- because he still really didn't care about how he got hurt, but you see, she had a dream, and he wouldn't allow anything to come in between that.
Sasha made his way to the hotel bar, knowing that it was a little pathetic to start drinking scotch less than an hour after his girls won at worlds, but really at this point, it was scotch or a fight, and fights brought questions. Of course, he didn't really care if people asked questions. Drinks just looked more like celebration than punching an already injured guy in the middle of the press. Sasha felt the burn down his throat, and got another. He could handle his alcohol, but tonight he had no intention of doing so. He wasn't worried about finding someone else- there really hadn't been anyone else for a long time. He had tried with Summer Van Horne, but even then he used the excuses of respecting her values as the cover for what was really going on. He was hiding from pint-sized Payson Keeler.
"You're the new classic.. You're the new P.Y.T... Stands for paid, young, taking on the world from the driver seat…" Shit. "Yes Payson. Yeah, I finally figured out how to do individual ringtones. You caught me, I had Lauren show me. Well if it makes it easier to avoid calls from Ellen Beals then it's worth it. Sasha started laughing when he said, "Don't ask me any questions, and I'll tell you no lies." After pausing for a minute he said, "Yes her ringtone IS Hammer Smashed Face... How did you guess? So, Keeler, what can I help you with?" Sasha listened as she started talking crazy, not even really making sense, and certainly not making a coherent sentence... "Payson stop. You have two days before we fly out of here, and you can do what you like as long as it is okay with your parents and as long as you do not exert yourself until you get cleared by your doctors on Monday, and you stay out of Spencer's bed..."
Sasha wasn't surprised that she hung up on him after a few choice words... Maybe this wasn't the place to get hammered, and that was all he wanted in the world, but he was definitely in plain sight and when Payson left the building, she would easily see him here and he didn't want to answer any questions right now. Where was the airstream when you needed it? Well, for whatever it mattered, the airstream was in Boulder, and he was in Rio, so with that he paid his tab and set out to find a local café that served liquor and fresh air.
How Payson got her parents to agree to letting her stay the extra two days she would never know. It must have something to do with the endorsement money, she supposed. So for the first time in her life, she was free, she had a boyfriend, and she had successfully completed a milestone in her life, all at the same time, and Payson Keeler set out on her own to marvel in the freedom of finding herself. Of course, there's a reason why I'm not with said boyfriend now. And what was with Sasha's comment about staying out of Max's bed? Why would I ever sleep with Max? I'm an Olympic hopeful, not an Emily. And why should Sasha even care? How is it any of his business who and what I do outside of making sure I can still perform to his standards. I've put my life on hold for this sport, and I wouldn't change that now, but why can't I start dating. It's not like I'm going to have sex yet. I'm not ready for that, but a date would be nice… I should call Max and spend time with him. He came all this way...
It had been coming for a long time, between losing Marty, gaining Sasha, being a sounding board for her friends' sex lives, alcohol lives, pregnancy,( which she still couldn't get over Emily giving up her dreams), and the worst ones of all, thinking her dreams were over after her fall from the bars at nationals and then knowing her dreams were over when Sasha pushed her away. She was coming into her own, and she almost reveled in the fact that she was growing as a person. She was no longer afraid of red lipstick, as Lauren had teased the other day, and she was no longer solely focused on gymnastics- of course, she was still driven and determined, but she finally knew she could be a whole person and a gymnast. The balance brought to her life from the pairing of artistic and power in her recovery had made her life come into balance as well, and for the moment, as she walked down the Rua Itupui, near the Parada de Lucas, looking for a café, she felt a peace come over her.
He's never going to love me, but at least he will be with me through the Olympics. His will be the first to wrap around me, and that will just have to be enough.
Later when she had been walking for a little over two hours, she saw a café that looked appealing, and as she was walking up she recognized the back of the belligerent drunk man sitting on the patio, obviously drowning something. Payson stopped walking and flipped out her cell phone... she wondered, I wonder what my ringtone is… hmmm...
"You're the new classic.. You're the new P.Y.T... Stands for paid, young, taking on the world from the driver seat…" "What's wrong?" Sasha was worried, genuinely worried, but too drunk to really understand how his words had come out. She rarely called his cell, and two calls in just as many hours had him worried, he heard her loud and clearly says "Turn around" and it was then that he saw her, walking, without her crutch, just turning off her phone.
"Sasha Belov, you are, as you would like to say, pissed, and it's only 3 in the afternoon. I can smell you from here."
Sasha sighed. Of course Payson would find him when he's drowning his sorrows over her. Wouldn't it just figure…"I don't see how that's any of your business Payson, and I don't see why you're here, without your crutches no less, and not off with the rest of the girls and doing your boyfriend like they are doing with theirs..." Sasha stood up to leave, swaying a little in the process, and fell into Payson.
"You have absolutely NO RIGHT to dictate to me who and when I should be sleeping with anyone Sasha Belov, and what are you doing drunk at 3 in the afternoon? Sit. Down." Sasha had never seen Payson so determined, and that was saying something. The pint sized firecracker had learned to out stubborn Sasha a long time ago, and they both knew it.
Payson sighed. "What is going on Sasha? Obviously you are upset about something. How many have you had?" Sasha didn't want to answer, because he knew where this conversation could go, and he couldn't risk that... for her sake. "I've only had three." As soon as he said it, Sasha knew he had made a mistake. "Sasha you drink three scotches like I drink ice water... Now do you want to try again without lying to me?" "I lost count at 15."
"Belov Alexandru Boris, You had FIFTEEN drinks? What in the hell is going on here?" As soon as she said it she saw what she had been too upset to see before. Sasha's eyes were red rimmed and slightly dazed looking, and his back, with his normally fantastic posture, was hunched over. She pleaded "Sasha, I'm sorry I yelled, it's just, talk to me… please."
Sasha felt the anger well up in him, "What are you my mother? And how did you know that's how my name is said in Romanian?" Payson took a deep breath, as though to calm herself down, and said, "Sasha we both know that is not the point, so start talking." How am I supposed to tell her that I love her and that I'm drinking away the love of my life. I promised myself after that kiss that I wouldn't do this. I won't destroy her. Unfortunately, Sasha couldn't lie to her either. "Payson, I can't discuss this with you and I wish you wouldn't press it, but I know you will sit here all day, so instead why don't you order a drink, and just sit with me." Payson had been all geared up for a fighting match to get him to talk, but in that moment, she realized that just sitting with him was what she had wanted all afternoon. So they did. Sasha Belov and Payson Keeler sat in the café for hours. Shortly after the sun started going down, and Sasha had sobered up a bit, mostly from Payson shoving water down his throat for the past four hours, suddenly Payson recognized the song playing in the background, and she thought just maybe… "Sasha, will you dance with me?" "Yes."
"Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you…"
As they danced in the small café, Payson finally realized what was going on, and she started crying into his shoulder... "You're leaving again aren't you?" "Payson... I... I have to. I told you I would get you to Worlds, and it's done. I told you I wouldn't let you go it alone, but you have all of the support you need now, and it's time for me to bow out gracefully." "Sasha… You told me you would take ME to the Olympics. How can you leave me now when I need you most? What do you mean I have all the support I need now? I have the support I need because I have you…without you it's all meaningless" Payson says as she starts crying into him, almost hysterically. "You don't know what you are asking Payson." She held tighter to the collar of his coaches' jacket, breathing in his scent of sandalwood and citrus. "Yes, Sasha, I do know. I know that I will never make it to the Olympics without you, and you will never recover from the regret if someone else was the one with me if I did somehow miraculously make it."
Sasha took a deep breath as he said the words he had subconsciously known since the ballet, but had been too afraid to say…"Cine la dragoste cade, intai mintea I se scade- M-am indragostit de tine. Payson, Te iubesc*." He grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her in close. "Sasha, I have no idea what you just said, but I'll take it, as long as you don't leave…"
a/n2 PLEASE everyone, leave reviews.. This is my first attempt at writing fan fic and I'm so nervous...
I forsee this being a long one- unless noone is interested..
Special thanks to JCI- you're such an inspiration.. Thanks girl..
Cine la dragoste cade, intai mintea I se scade- M-am indragostit de tine. Payson, Te iubesc- Love is without reason, and I fell in love with you. Payson, I love you.
I'll stand by you by the pretenders
Hammer Smashed Face- Cannibal Corpse
New Classic- Drew Seeley and Selena Gomez