Hey, my first ever SGA fic! This was written for rinkafic on LiveJournal. She made a bid/donation at the Help the South community and asked for a SGA fic. Oh, and there are a couple of words in what Google swears is Czech. I do not speak the language, so I'm dreadfully sorry if the grammar is bad! Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it!

"Really? Fruit bowls in the Gate Room? Who thought fruit belonged in the control room? Moronic, imbecilic…."

Rodney stalked through the corridors towards his lab. No one tried to interrupt or get his attention after one look at his scowl – the continuing commentary on the idiocy of the majority of the personnel did not hurt either.

Just as he could see the light at the end of the tunnel, otherwise known as the security of his private laboratory, a high-pitched scream erupted from behind him. He jumped, spinning in place, eyes widening. He just caught sight of a shadow ducking around the corner back down the hall. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously headed towards the only open doorway. The screaming had stopped, but a low volume whimper still drifted out.

Peering into the room, he could see Zelenka standing beside one of the lab consoles, looking up at a young woman who was sitting on top of a console. Rodney frowned in confusion and stepped into the room. As he did so, he recognized the scientist currently perched above their heads; eyes shut tight, hugging herself and rocking slightly. It was Miko. He gave the Czech a sharp frown.

"Was not me!" Zelenka snapped. "It was that syn pavian Kavanagh. He thinks he is funny."

Folding his lips, Rodney looked back up at Miko as the Czech scientist continued muttering various curses and insults in his native tongue. His eyes narrowed as he took in the quiver of her lips and the rapid eye movement. Reaching up, he toggled his communicator to private.

"Dr. Heightmeyer? Please report to the labs."

As he waited for the psychologist to arrive, Rodney fixed a hard gaze on his fellow male scientist.

"What did that idiot do?"

Zelenka looked up.

"He somehow found out that she suffers from acute musophobia."

Rodney frowned and Zelenka shrugged.

"It is a fear of…"

Rodney interrupted.

"I know what it is. What I want to know is how he found out."

"Is Kavanagh," he answered, shaking his head. "He is a big gossip."

With a snort, Rodney turned as the door opened. Doctor Kate Heightmeyer walked in, blinking once as she took in the scene. Giving the two men a sharp look, she moved to stand beside the distraught young woman.

"Miko?" she prodded gently. "Won't you come down and come with me?"

Slowly, she talked the scientist off the console and took her arm to lead her out. Miko looked up at Rodney for brief moment.

"Kavanagh?" she asked, voice trembling.

He folded his arms over his chest and nodded at her.

"Don't worry about that idiot. I'll handle it."

The others looked at him in surprise and he frowned at them both.

"What? Kavanagh is an idiot and needs to be dealt with. Regardless of my opinion about psychology as a whole, you do not mess with people that way. Plus she," he said, pointing at Miko, "is one of the less moronic people working around here. She does her work, stays quiet and out of the way and actually has enough sense not to push the big button. She is one of the only ones that has actually grasped the concept that everything is dangerous here, and not some kind of fun-time playground. That probably puts her as second or third least annoying person I have to deal with in the science department."

Zelenka rolled his eyes as Heightmeyer shook her head, but Miko actually gave a small smile, knowing that was high praise for Rodney. As the two women left the lab, he turned back to his Czech counterpart.

"Now, what exactly did he do?"

"Apparently he checked the schedule and saw that she would be here to work on finishing paperwork and decided to play prank. He…raid?...yes, raided Dr. Fossey's laboratory and took her new shipment of control mice. Putting all of them in the small drawer of desk, he then took all of the pens. When she open the drawer to get another…they all jump out at her."

Rodney's frown turned into a full-fledged scowl.

"And that's when she screamed, and he darted away," he stated, not really questioning.

Nodding, Zelenka pointed to a small piece of equipment on the other side of the room.

"Camera – he was filming. I came from other console and was in the way. He could not grab and leave as quick as he wanted."

"Good," Rodney declared. "You destroy the evidence, and then contact whoever is scheduled for security today. See if they can get a tape of him stealing the mice."

The Czech nodded and moved away. Rodney glared at the open drawer for a long moment, trying to determine the best way to deal with this situation. Kavanagh continued to push the boundaries of acceptable. First with his ego – Rodney knew people generally thought he was the arrogant one, but at least he had the intelligence, skills, and success rating to back it up. Second came his ridiculous attempt to defame Elizabeth, as well as his ongoing efforts to drum up dissent against her decisions. Now he deliberately tries to provoke one of the shier scientists?

'Strike three,' Rodney thought.

While Rodney had a healthy sense of self-preservation, he did have a small handful of people and values that no one was allowed to mess with. Sheppard, Teyla, and Ford may have been the foremost, but Elizabeth Weir had earned his respect as a leader – not something that was easy to do. In addition, the smooth running of the lab meant fewer headaches for him and more time to look at the new artifacts that the teams brought in. Zelenka , Grodin, & Miko were among the few he could stomach dealing with for any length of time. They actually had some common sense, and she at least knew how to work silently and unobtrusively.

This situation with Kavanagh required some careful strategizing as it seemed he wanted to be a source of trouble for the city leaders. A sharp grin crossed his face.

'Trouble shared is trouble halved. I know the perfect helper to share my trouble. Kavanagh is going to rue this day!' Rodney crowed to himself.

Reaching for his communicator, he toggled the privacy mode once more.

"Sheppard, I need some help in the labs."

John Sheppard's voice came back to him as Zelenka moved back to his side.

"This have anything to do with one of your scientists being in tears? I saw her going into Heightmeyer's office."

"First, it wasn't my fault this time. Second, Kavanagh did it."

There was a long moment of silence, and then Sheppard spoke once more.

"Tell you what. I'll round up Teyla and Ford on my way there."

"Good, Zelenka and I are already here."

Sheppard signed off and Rodney turned to his silent onlooker.

"Sheppard and the others are on their way."

Zelenka shuddered.

Is not a good day to be Kavanagh.