So this little one-shot came to me while I was reading another fic where two people were having an affair and I began considering how the two were rationalizing it. Now, it wasn't Padme/Anakin, so in no way did I steal this plot line, though I'm sure it's been used somewhere before whether I've seen it or not.
I've also always been mildly fascinated with Padme and how she'll do things she knows are completely wrong but feel so right and then try to trick herself out of going along with them further. Just saying.
I didn't really say whether or not Anakin was part of the Jedi or whether the code was different in this AU. I think it's really up to you guys, since it hardly plays into the plot. Well, it pretty much doesn't play into the plot at all.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own Star Wars. If I did, I'd be rich. No joke.
Also, before we get going, I want to say that in no way am I trying to condone the act of cheating on someone, I feel it's kind of a douchey thing to do. But for the sake of an interesting plot, this is how this fic came into play.
Second First Impressions
"We can't do this, Anakin," Padme shook her head roughly, pushing against the strong arms she so desperately wanted to be in.
"Why? Why can't we do this?" he whispered, pleading to her to see his way.
"You know why," she told him, and pain streaked across his face. He turned away from her and looked across the crystal blue water of Naboo's lake country.
She reached up and ran her hand along his jaw line, pulling his face back towards hers. Her dark brown eyes spoke paragraphs of pain and longing, but her head told her that this was for the best.
"It's morally wrong," she said, and he swallowed thickly.
"We're in loveless marriages, Padme," he told her, grabbing her forearms loosely. "I already know that what we have would be nothing like our current situation."
"Anakin, we can't start a new life together when we met each other through deceit and betrayal."
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want this," he told her, a firm look on his face. "Tell me that you wouldn't give to be free of Palo's clutches. That you don't long for a life away from him."
"What about Dorme? What happens to her? She's innocent in all of this," she countered, and a look of pain swept across Anakin's face.
"She's pregnant," he whispered and looked away.
Padme gasped at took a step back, fear and surprise deep in her heart. Anakin looked back at her and realized the conclusions she was drawing.
"The baby isn't mine, Padme," he said calmly. "It isn't mine, no matter how much she's tried to convince me. We haven't been together like that in months. Not since I met you."
"But...?" she trailed off.
"She's only two months pregnant. It isn't mine," he said, staring straight into her eyes, his own crystal blues conveying the truth.
"Palo will never sign the divorce papers," she told him, her jaw set. "I'm a trophy to him. He won me."
"He never won your heart though."
Padme was silent as a tear rolled down her cheek. Her heart was torn between morality and love. She'd never like the deceit of her relationship with Anakin, but at the same time, it seemed the only logical way. Palo used her. Maybe, sometime in the beginning, she'd thought it was love. But that was only a hopeful ideal from her marriage.
It almost seemed a marriage of necessity. Unwed Senators were not looked upon lightly.
"Padme," Anakin's voice stirred her from her thoughts. "Can we try?"
"Try what?" she asked, her expression hardening in an almost angry trance. "Try to disgrace my family? Palo? Dorme? Us? Anakin, you are so lost in love you've lost track of reality. Of the consequences."
"Who gives a damn about consequences?" he asked, yelling. "Where was the consideration of Consequences that night you kissed me? That night we made love in your apartment while your husband was on Kuat? Where was it then? When it mattered?"
"I don't know!" she screamed, tears coming down her face full force. "I don't know, Anakin!" Sobs wracked her body and she clutched her chest and spun away from him, looking out to the water. "I don't know who we are anymore."
"You're Padme Naberrie, and I'm Anakin Skywalker," he said quietly. "Amidala may be the name you hide behind, but I know the real you. Does anyone else? Does anyone know the real Padme behind the politics and the smile that never quite reaches her eyes?"
Padme was quiet, taking in his words with no physical reaction. Her head was battling her heart once more, and she knew who she needed to win, but also who she wanted to win.
"When did we become the people that cheat on our spouses and conspire to run away together and throw everything behind?"
"I don't know about you, but it was the moment I laid eyes on you at that political gala," he told her. Her breath hitched as she knew her answer was exactly the same.
"I'm leaving Dorme," he told her quietly, and she tilted her head closer to him. "I'm leaving Dorme whether or not you leave with me. She and I are over. Were over. Long before I met you. Long before we began this affair," Padme winced, "and long before she got pregnant."
"How do I know that you aren't just hoping your words are true," she asked, turning to look at him with red-rimmed eyes. "How do I know you aren't just saying that to make this right?"
"Because I know it to be true, and was thinking of leaving her long before we fell too deep to escape."
"Anakin, even if we both left them, this relationship will always be wrong," she told him, shaking her head.
"No, it doesn't-"
"Let me finish," she held up her hand. "It will always be wrong because of how it started. It was wrong. We were cruel to those that we were with, whether love was involved or not.
"And because of that fact, even if we left our spouses, we could never be together."
"Padme," he said in a hurt tone, reaching his hand out to her. She took a step away from him, and looked away.
"Don't Anakin, please."
He swallowed and nodded.
"I need you to leave here," she said quietly. "Away from the lake country, and if you would, Naboo. Don't look for me on Coruscant, and please don't comm me."
A tear rolled down his cheek as he nodded. She turned towards the water once more so she didn't have to watch him walk away as she knew she'd never be able to let him go. As his footsteps faded away she let the sobs take over her body.
Six Months Later
Anakin Skywalker was single. His divorce was final, and he'd strayed away from Coruscant, away from any reminder of the angelic face that still haunted his dreams. The cantina where he was at the current moment was dark and slightly smoke filled from the various sentients that were here. The heat from the outside binary suns permeated the native building of clay and stone and heated the already crowded room of those trying to escape the harsh light and heat.
He sat at the bar, far away from the door but facing it so he could see and gauge every person that entered. On the desert planet of Tatooine, this was the only way to truly survive. Have a wall behind you so you could always scan what's in front of you.
There could never be any surprises that way. Or so he thought.
His breath stilled as the familiar powder blue cloak entered the cantina and made for a dark corner booth against the wall. It was only as she sat down that she pulled her hood back to reveal her face and familiar chestnut curls he'd so often run his hands through.
Anakin squeezed his eyes shut against the onslaught of memories coursing through his head. Of late Saturday mornings in bed making love while the sunlight streamed through the parted curtains. Of quiet stolen afternoons in the meadows of the lake country. Of the cool, breezy sunsets in the mountains of Alderaan on 'political meets'. Of bantering well into the night as they merely sat on the couch and laughed while drinking Sullustian Wine and eating chocolate dipped shurra.
When he'd reopened his eyes, he saw her sitting there still, eyes trained on him, her lips parted slightly in surprise. What he wouldn't give to taste those lips right now, to test their softness to see if they matched those of his memories. They stared at each other for a few moments before he took another sip of the Corellian Ale in front of him before standing and approaching her. She made no move to flee, and he took it as a good sign as he slid across from her in the booth.
He grinned slightly and looked at her before speaking.
"What's a beautiful Angel like you doing in the nastier parts of Mos Eisely?" he asked lightly. She stared at him for a moment before smiling coyly and replying.
"Hyper drive trouble," she said. "I need a good mechanic, do you know one?"
"Yeah, I know a few," he shrugged, leaning back comfortably in the booth. "But I know one with real low rates and won't cheat you for the cloak on your back."
"Good," she smiled. He nodded and reached his hand out.
"I don't believe we've met, I'm Anakin Skywalker," he said, hoping she'd play along.
"Padme Amidala, but only those closest to me know me as Padme Naberrie," she said, shaking his hand.
"Which may I refer to you as?" he asked.
"Naberrie," she said. "It's a pleasure to meet you under such honorable standards."
"In a cantina on a desert planet?" he asked, avoiding the implication of her statement.
"In public," she said, "and not behind closed doors in secret."
"It'd be a shame to have met you those ways. I hear those relationships never work."
"You heard correctly," she smiled. "But lucky for you, it appears both of us are single."
"Both of us?" he raised an eyebrow. She nodded, flashing her left hand, the light tan line visible on her finger. "Well, isn't it our lucky day?"
"It is," she grinned.
Anakin smiled back at her, knowing that this time around, everything would work out. All it took was a second first impression.
So there you have it!
Again, I'm not condoning cheating on people, but it happens. I think if it does happen, and you do cheat on someone, you should probably just face the consequences and come clean, no matter how hard it is. That said, I actually do love reading fics where the heroine and hero cheat with each other. So call me a hypocrite.
If you liked it/hated it/have never seen a SW movie before but feel like reviewing, review!