A/N: With all of Series 6 behind us (those of us caught up), I thought it might be a good idea to mention that I no longer consider Chapters 1-4 and 7 to follow canon as I currently interpret it (cause Who canon's always a bit wibbly anyway). Just so no one gets confused... (I used to include 6, but I consider it to be canon again now. See, wibbly.)
"No, it's in the right pocket," the Doctor said, popping his head up over the edge of the console to look across the control room at her.
"You mean the left one?" she muttered under her breath as she thrust her hand into his other pocket and began digging through its contents. The TARDIS she understood, but how'd he manage dimensionally transcendental pockets on a blazer? And why couldn't he just get a tool kit like everybody else?
His voice floated up from where he'd ducked back down to continue working. "I heard that. I meant the right one. As in the correct one. As in the pocket in which I put it... "
She opened her mouth to respond but shut it again just as quickly. Sometimes he could be so impossible. Maybe when she got to know him really well – like he already seemed to know her – he'd start to make more sense. Somehow, though, she highly doubted it. "I still can't-" she said instead, but stopped abruptly when she felt something soft and silky beneath her fingers. Something that felt exactly like...
She pulled out a pair of bright red lace underwear. A pair which looked remarkably similar to a black one she'd bought last week in the hope she might soon manage to finally overcome his maddening self-control. She didn't dare imagine how this particular pair might have ended up in his pocket.
Or, more accurately, when.
Startled, she glanced up to find the Doctor had popped back up and was looking at her. She hoped she wasn't blushing quite so much as she probably should be, considering the direction her thoughts had been headed. Red wasn't really her color. Though, on second thought, considering the color of the fabric in her hand and the curiously intense expression on the Doctor's face right now...
Recovering as quickly as she could, she arched an eyebrow at him. Her voice shook only a little as she managed to ask, "Doctor? Anything you'd like to tell me?"
He was just as fast. Faster, even. He blinked and the moment was gone as though it had never been, his eyes dancing in merriment as he grinned maddeningly at her. She knew what he was going to say before he'd even opened his mouth. "Spoilers."
She really hated that word.
Later – after he'd got the TARDIS working again and dropped her off on his way to Lord-knows-where-but-sorry-River-I-can't-take-you-with-me – she went back and exchanged the black pair for an identical one in red.
And as she'd expected, acting on one little spoiler didn't, in fact, actually blow up the entire Universe.
It took her years to finally realize the truth, though.
The Doctor always knew exactly what was in his pockets.