Chapter 1

"YAY! MY NEW VIDEO GAME BALL!" The small princess Selly tore open the package with such vengeance her maid cowered. "OH YEAH! WOO HOO! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Selly yelled, doing her happy dance around the castle. She came upon the chef. She screamed, "BOW DOWN TO ME!"

The chef-not wanting the king to chop his head off-bowed down.

"SNIFF MY FEET!" She screeched.

The chef bent down and sniffed her feet.

She screeched again in delight and ran down the hallways screaming, "HE SNIFFED MY FEET! SOMEONE CHOP HIS HEAD OFF!"

The chef jumped out the window.

"Oh Selly you look beautiful." Her Mother said, stroking her hair when Selly came in their bedroom. Selly didn't mind her mother. She kept playing with her new ball.

The King chuckled at the word Ball and whispered to himself, "Haha. Me funny. Ball. Haha."

Selly just kept playing. "MOTHER!"

"Yes darling?"

"Didn't Daddy used to be a frog? And a prince? And didn't you have to kiss him?"

"Yes dearest."

"Ew."

"Yes dearest."

Selly wrinkled her nose in disgust and leaped off the bed. The maid caught her, "AHHHHH THE MAID TOUCHED ME! HAVE HER FINGERS THROWN TO MY ALLIGATOR!"

The maid leaped out the window.

Selly skipped merrily with her ball and walked outside.

A prince, peeping, outside their window had heard the conversation. He took a frog out of his pants(Because that is certainly the best place to put slimy things) and sat it on a stone.

"Poop." He commanded.

The Frog, being a frog, did not understand English.

"Ribbit, ribbit, caw." The Prince commanded in frog.

The frog just looked at him. A huge hawk came over and lifted him in the air never to be seen again.

The Prince cursed low under his breath. He had wanted that hawk. The prince threw the stone at the hawk. To his wonder the bird dropped dead with the frog still attached.

The Prince clapped his hands and dragged the dead carrion over to another larger stone. He heard horrid singing and hid behind a bush.

"OH SAY CAN YOU SEE! I SEE A BRANC-AHHHH!" He heard a crash and swearing. "THE BRANCH TRIPPED ME! OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!" There was a small crack and the princess skipped merrily on.

A little bunny came up and nuzzled her, smelling the roses on her.

The princess leaned down and cooed, "Awww." Before shooting it with a bazooka.

"Little princess help me…" The prince sounded out.

The princess looked over, "Who said that?"

"It is me. A prince. A evil witch turned me into a bird."

"A ugly bird." Selly muttered.

"Yes a ug-hey!"

Selly lifted it up, "A dead bird."

"Yes. I am half dead. But if you kiss my frog then I will turn back to life and give you all of your dreams. And…" He counted all the slimy things in his pants, "3 snails, 2 bugs, and 2 more frogs."

The Prince withered, "Ahhh it's working…close your eyes…and it'll work properly…"

The Princess turned around and sat. "I hope this works ugly bird."

"My name is SellyIsStupid." He as he threw the bird over a cliff and sat on the stone.

"Okay SellyIsStupid. Is it working now?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"NOW?"

"Um…"

She opened her eyes anyway and saw a prince!

"Ew. You're still ugly." She said.

"Yeah well you're fat." He poked her side and it jiggled.

"You're…You're…ugly!" She said.

"So where's your castle."

Epilogue-

They eventually died.

A More Descriptive Epilogue-

They fell in love, blah, blah, blah, until he was killed from a freak camel accident, and two minutes later she married and fell in love with a fan named Sterling. He was later beheaded for treason of a mouse named Smell.

Oh and she died. Never had kids so the kingdom burned to the ground and everyone was happy.

Or were they?