If I put my hands around your wrists
Would you fight them?
If I put my fingers in your mouth
Would you bite them?
So many things that I would do
If I had my way with you.
I can't keep secrets that I know
How you want me
You can tear your nails into my skin
You won't stop me
You can twist and scream into the air
But no one can hear you here
And there will be no tenderness
And there will be no tenderness
I will show no mercy for you
You have no mercy for me
The only thing that I ask
Love me mercilessly
The Bravery- Hatefuck
They were there, all right.
The small, warm feelings that she'd been trying so hard to ignore as of late kept stirring inside her every time her favorite cool kid was in the same room as him. They'd only shared, what, one kiss? And that had been strictly businesslike, or so she told herself. Either way, it hadn't been the best of first kisses- their one and only kiss had been traumatizing, to say the least. She'd never forget the taste of copper on his lips, still warm, slippery with blood, and worst of all, freshly dead. Or the stare of the monster that had once been a girl's best friend, boring into her unprotected back.
She'd had countless dreams of him, mostly nightmares from that one kiss, but lately things had been getting hotter and hotter, to the point where she woke up gasping for breath, her body sticky with sweat, and, in the case of her upper thighs, other bodily fluids.
It was one thing, she thought, observing him as he casually sipped the apple juice she'd brought him, to know that she'd never have him. But thanks to Sburb, which they'd finally managed to beat a while ago, they were two of the last few humans in existence, and he was the only person that could she procreate with (she blushed at the thought) if they were to avoid incest. They would, one way or another, end up together.
What hurt was that it was no longer even a matter of choice. Dave Strider, the lanky eighteen year old guy sprawled on her sofa, would eventually end up marrying her. And although she knew she had no problem with it, it killed her to think that Dave would be doing this out of responsibility. He wasn't one to shirk responsibility- they had babies to make. With the help of John and his knowledge of ectobiology, they'd be able to create kids with different genetic patterns, to help the world repopulate.
Which, although she tried to avoid the thought of it, meant sex. A lot of sex. They were definitely old enough- now would be the perfect time to start working on those kids. And yes, they had been living together for almost a year now, but nothing had happened. It was as if he had absolutely no interest in her, which had bruised her ego.
He probably still thought of her as the scared thirteen year old that had woken him from his death slumber by nervously kissing him. The silly girl, who had faded away to become a woman. And yes, he had to blind not to notice that she'd grown up. She had hips and breasts and long legs she was secretly kind of proud of. Her face had grown out of its childish puffiness into something that could be considered beautiful. Her teeth had been straightened out a bit. She had curves, and she had thoughts, and needs.
Needs he had to have too. She knew he woke up early in the morning for a reason- she'd heard him in the bathroom. He made sure to keep their laundry separate, and they avoided the room with the bed big enough for two lovers- the one they both knew they'd eventually end up in together. He had to be thinking the same things as her.
She wondered if, he was, like she was, scared shitless too.
John and Rose had already started trying. She'd talked to Rose a few days ago, and she'd confided that there was a possibility that she was pregnant. The words had been a dull blow to the abdomen- they'd already gotten past the awkwardness, admitted they loved each other, and hit the sack. Probably because Rose wasn't one to deal with this type of bullshit- she'd cut straight to the chase, and started sleeping with her brother.
There had been a surprisingly uncharacteristically unsubtle implication from Rose when she'd told her this that they'd better start trying soon too. This was why she was worrying so much at the moment, even more than usual.
Jade Harley needed to get her head on straight and, feelings or no feelings, start sleeping with Dave if they wanted to preserve the human race.
She was terrified.
That was natural, of course, seeing as she was a nervous virgin trying to get the boy she might or might not have some serious feelings for to sleep with her. To preserve the human race. She kept repeating this to herself, a mumbled mantra, as she nervously fidgeted with the hem of her nightgown. It was a simple white satin dress, with spaghetti straps, brushing the tops of her knees, and lined with a tiny bit of lace at the neckline, which skimmed the top of her breasts, and the hem.
Nothing too seductive, but it clung ever so slightly, and it didn't really hide her curves. She'd picked the prettiest pair of pajamas she owned to talk to Dave about this, seeing as she didn't actually own anything resembling sexy lingerie. As it was, this sexy enough- she'd made it, thinking about later on, but now it just served as another reminder of her virginity and general lack of experience when it came to sex. And now she was shaking with all the feelings she'd been trying to hide.
Oh god. How was she going to say this… propose this… idea?
"The human race,"she muttered, fingers curling into a fist as she got ready to knock on Dave's bedroom door. "We need to continue on…"
She took in a deep breath, coughed from inhaling too deeply, and, steeling herself, knocked once, twice, three times. From behind the wooden door, she could hear rustling, as Dave got up off his bed, and the muted sound of bare feet against the carpeted floor. She only had time to pull her hair back into a ponytail with the white ribbon she'd been holding onto before the door swung open, and she heard Dave's familiar voice go, "Oh, what's up, Harley- um, whoa."
She managed to look up now- she'd been staring at her bare feet, her face pink from the blood that was probably rushing to her cheeks right about now. She felt like a desperate girl who had thrown herself at him. Chanting the human race inside her head, she managed to blink and look at him clearly. He had the disheveled look of someone who had been chilling out, listening to music, and had rolled out of bed. Clothes rumpled, hair messy, and if her eyes weren't lying, cheeks a tiny bit pinker than they usually were, Dave Strider looked like his usual knee weakening, good looking, shades wearing, badass motherfucking self.
"Harley? What's up?"
His voice was calm, relaxed, but she could hear the confusion in it underneath the coolkid surface, as well as something else she couldn't really identify. She swallowed the saliva that had collected in her mouth, and cleared her throat one last time for good measure. "Um, can I come in? There's something important I want to talk about."
Dave didn't react, but she knew that behind those shades his eyes had probably just widened in realization. He wasn't stupid. They were basically destined to fuck, she'd shown up dressed differently than usual, and she wanted to 'talk'.
He shrugged slightly and gestured inside with a jerk of his chin. "Sure."
She tentatively followed him in, making sure not to step on any of the CD cases that were scattered around the room, or worse, one of his swords. "Sorry it's a bit messy- I was trying to sort my collection and all. It's a serious pain in the ass to have to look through all these motherfucking CDs whenever I want to listen to something that isn't complete shit. Egbert gave me a fuckload of CDs for my birthday. Fucking soundtracks to all his shitty Nic Cage movies that he loves unironically. Goddamnit, your brother has the worst taste sometimes." He gestured around airily with his left hand. "Feel free to take a seat anywhere."
She nodded nervously, settling on the edge of his bed. He strolled over to a chair, tossing his feet up on his desk, with his head in her general direction. "What is it you wanted to talk about?" He put his arms behind his head, the very picture of relaxed coolness.
Jade took a deep breath before beginning. "Well, I've been thinking lately. It's been a long time since the game ended, and the world is- well, we're the last human beings and I-" She paused to breathe, before shoving her face into her hands. "Oh god. I can't do this." She felt her entire face heating up and she swore she could feel Dave looking at her from his seat.
There was a long pause before he spoke. "Jade…" He swallowed, hard, his voice uncharacteristically nervous. "What are you trying to say? Do you… do you mean that we should…"
She steeled herself for her very next words, and they came out, nervous and positively dripping with embarrassment. "Have sex? Yeah."
There was an even longer silence as she tried her very best to defy all sorts of logic and disappear. A warm hand under her chin, forcing her to look up, showed her that she'd failed. Dave's mouth showed what his eyes, obscured by dark glass, couldn't. Worry. For her. She felt a warm wave of something she wasn't sure what to call wash through her. Not relief, but a sort of satisfaction that he, on some level at least, cared for her. Even if it was just friendship.
"I care about you too much to let something like this… be determined by what the universe needs. No offense to anyone, but fuck the universe."
His voice was more serious than she'd expected it to be. "If you fucking think that I'm going to go ahead and get into your pants when you're so obviously scared, you can forget about it. Repopulating the world can wait. You're terrified. And you're a person, not a motherfucking baby factory. You're my friend." His voice dropped an octave or two. "Not a cum dumpster."
She stiffened in response. "But… Rose and John-"
"Rose and John have a thing, okay? Rose and John have been together for years. It's different. Their relationship has taken its natural turn of events- meet, be friends, kiss, fall in love, fuck. I can't just fuck you over and over again for the sake of reproduction. I respect you as a person, Harley. Do you have any idea… how I'd feel if that were the only thing between us? I can't do it."
Something inside her chest thumped painfully. It took her a moment to realize that yes, that was her heart. "You're saying you can't have sex with me because you don't love me or something? This is the world we're talking about. It's not just about you or me. Yeah, I'm scared. I'd have to fucking give birth. But this is bigger than either one of us. This is about humanity as a whole!"
It took her a moment to realize the burning in her throat was because she'd been screaming. And that her damp cheeks were because she was crying. And that she was shaking, her arms around herself. "I'm scared too. But…"
"When the fuck did I say I didn't love you, Harley?" There was an undercurrent to his voice, one that scared her and enthralled her simultaneously.
She looked up, surprised if anything else. Dave's forehead was furrowed, whether in anger or concentration, she couldn't tell. "When did I say it? Can I have a direct quote? Oh that's right, you can't fucking find it, because I didn't say that."
"S-so you mean-"
"Get a clue, will you? I've been crazy about you for years. But you were always so fucking sweet and prim and oblivious. Fucking blind to everything. I thought you just wanted to be friends. And I thought, if that's what she wants, then I'm not going to be the prick who forces her to fuck him under the pretense of baby making. I'm an asshole, but I'm not that much of an asshole.
"Do you think I haven't noticed you? Do you know how fucking hard it's been, whenever you smile at me the way you do when you're happy, or when you when you hug me? You think I don't dream about you at night? I love it when you blush after making a mistake or how you can be so cute and yet the biggest badass I know. You're so sweet, always, even when I'm being a dick. Do you think I don't remember that you kissed me?" He paused for a second. "I wish I'd been alive to feel it."
There was the longest silence yet, broken by Dave groaning, his face in his palms. "Okay, that was probably the most uncool moment of my life. But it's all true, every single sappy as shit word."
"Oh my god." There was a hysterical edge to her voice, and then she was laughing, tears streaming down her face. The irony. The fucking irony. "Oh my god,"
"What? Harley, are you okay-"
She cut him off, by wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, until his face was so close to hers she could taste his breath. "Harley…"
"You're just as fucking oblivious as I am, then." She whispered, "All this time, I thought you thought of me as a friend. All this time…" She shook her head. "You've had no clue, how much I've loved you, Coolkid Stri-"
This time, it was Dave who cut her off, pressing his lips against hers in a very gentle, soft movement that definitely beat the last time their lips had touched, almost five years ago. His fingers worked their way up against her face, and he held her there for a few seconds more before he pulled away to breathe.
"You have no fucking idea how long I've waited to do that." He exhaled, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Better than I imagined, too."
This time, Jade didn't hesitate to press her lips against his, the kiss this time a little less sweet and a little more sensual. "Show me how much you love me, Strider." Another kiss, this one on the edge of her lips. Make me say your name. Another, at her jaw line. More. At the base of her throat.
She was surprised at how this mostly came naturally, as if their bodies knew just what to do, and their raw need made up for the rest. His fingers trailed against her body, hands settling onto her small waist, as she guided him forward towards her.
His lips were on her collarbone when he pulled away. "I can't do this, Harley." When he saw her about to protest, he pressed a finger against her lips. "It's not that I don't want you, actually, very much the opposite. But-" He paused momentarily. "It's too soon. Let's give it some time, okay? Work our way there."
She sat up, hair mussed. "You're kidding me." She'd come here to get laid, and here he was, leading her on, and now this?
"Not, I'm not. Now, get to sleep. It's late." He yawned and she sullenly scrambled off his bed. "Wear that next time, though." She wore she saw him grin as she slipped out his door, face red and knowing she'd never be able to match him, coolness wise.
There will probably be a second chapter. Probably.
Reviews are appreciated. I need feedback.