Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight
WARNING: This story contains disciplinary spanking of a teenage vampire. If this offends you in any way shape or form then don't read and don't bother flaming me!
Thoughts spoken to or heard by Edward will be italicized
Chapter 7: Brilliant, but Stupid
A/N: Hey all, thanks so much for the reviews and welcome to the last chapter of Fathers and Sons: Edward edition! This chapter was difficult to write but I think it turned out alright. Edward convinces Carlisle that he is a good dad but in a round about way. Hope you enjoy!
"Carlisle, snap out of it! I heard before I felt a strong blow to my head.
"Mmf!" I grunted in surprise, falling off the couch.
"Carlisle, it's me Edward!" someone yelled. Edward? I thought numbly.
"Dad!" Edward continued to yell, immediately breaking me free of the memory. I opened my eyes to see Edward staring down at me with tears running down his face. "Son, are you alright?" I asked him concernedly as I pulled myself up.
Edward gave me a look of mingled astonishment and relief. "Am I alright? You're asking me if I'm alright?" he asked in near hysteria. "You get lost in some memory and don't respond when I call your name and you're asking me if I am alright?" he yelled.
Memory? I thought a bit disoriented before everything caught up with me. I had been feeling guilty for having spanked Edward and had begun thinking of my father, which in turn made me remember a particularly painful memory… Oh no, I thought in despair while looking at my son.
"I am so sorry Edward, you should not have had to see that," I told him ashamedly. I had never meant for Edward to find out about my childhood or how my father had treated me. What must he think of me? I thought in embarrassment.
Edward continued to stare at me with wide eyes before shaking his head at me. Whether at my apology or at my thoughts, I did not know. "Don't be sorry," he said quietly, "and don't feel embarrassed Dad."
I stared at him before getting up off the floor and sitting on the couch. I sighed heavily, rubbing the side of my cheek gently. Looking over at Edward, I asked in surprise, "Did you hit me?"
He froze and looked at me with guilty eyes before nodding slowly. "I-I'm sorry, but you wouldn't snap out of it and I was worried, and I didn't know what to do and…" he rambled before I gave a humorless chuckle.
"I am not angry Edward, just surprised," I assured him. He shoulders slumped in relief as he plopped himself down on the coffee table before he gave a small yelp and stood back up. I looked at him in concern, which quickly turned into guilt as I saw him furiously rubbing his behind.
"I am sorry Edward," I told him despairingly.
Edward stared at me in shock. "Why are you apologizing?" he asked in bewilderment.
For the pain I have caused you, I thought to him.
"You're apologizing for sp-punishing me?" he asked in continued bewilderment. "Why?"
This time it was I who stared at him in surprise. What do you mean why? "Because I hurt you," I responded guiltily.
Edward's brow furrowed before he sat down very slowly.
I sat down, confused by what I had just heard. Dad had just apologized for having spanked me, I thought in disbelief. This day could not get any stranger.
I had come here after having heard my father groan as if he were in pain and right as I made it to his office I had been hit with his memory. I had been utterly confused at first, not recognizing where I was or that the blonde boy in front of me was Carlisle. I had been fascinated at first at the thought of seeing a young Carlisle, but that fascination had quickly turned to horror the more the memory went on. I grimaced slightly at the thought of what Carlisle had gone through and then shuddered as I remembered the punishment he had received for trying to save Ariana. I dimly wondered whether she had been saved or not, but then thought I didn't really want to know. Carlisle's father was a cruel and horrid man, and I could not understand how Carlisle turned out so good.
A hand came down on my shoulder, causing me to jump slightly. "Please tell me what you are thinking son," Carlisle asked.
Looking up at him I tried to fathom why he would be apologizing for having punished me. Even though I hated every minute of it, I couldn't help but admit that I did deserve it. Had I acted as defiant and disrespectful with my human father, I would have found myself unable to sit for a week. Compared to Edward Sr., Carlisle had the patience of a saint. I considered myself lucky that he hadn't decided to take me in hand earlier.
Seeing my father's distressed look, I could not help but give him a confused look. "I don't understand you," I said in frustration. "Why are you apologizing when you've done nothing wrong? It was I who disobeyed you, and yeah the spanking hurt, but it's supposed to." I explained.
Carlisle stared back at me, and I saw my confused but earnest expression flash through his mind.
He is telling the truth, Carlisle thought in disbelief. He does not seem to hate nor fear me, but…
I could hear the confusion and doubt starting to cloud his mind, despite what I said. Well, now I know why he apologized, I mused in astonishment.
"Of course I don't hate or fear you Carlisle! How could you think that?" I asked, breaking him out of his musings.
Carlisle blinked before straightening up, and gave me a slight frown, mildly irritated at me having read his thoughts. Please stay out of my head Edward, he thought to me.
Leaning back on the couch, he rubbed the back of his neck while trying to formulate an answer to my question; however, that was unnecessary as I gleaned the answer from his thoughts. I felt a rush of embarrassment sweep through me as the memory of my spanking flashed through his mind.
"Please Daddy, no more! I promise to never disobey you again!" I heard myself plead before hearing young Carlisle plead "Please Father, no more! I promise to never disobey you again!"
Suddenly it all made sense to me. Carlisle was deathly afraid of becoming like his father, and he felt that he did just that when punishing me, I thought in horror.
"Dad, you are nothing like your father! If anything you are too easy! My human father would've taken a belt to me if I'd acted the same way I did with you," I desperately explained to him, urging him to understand.
My father suddenly stood up, while growling lowly at me. "Do not read my thoughts Edward!" he hissed before walking away and turning his back to me. I recoiled slightly, caught off guard by the sudden change in mood. How could I convince him that I was telling the truth if he continued to brush off my words in anger?
I stood up, suddenly struck with a brilliant, but potentially stupid idea. Feigning anger, I sarcastically yelled, "Well I'm sorry Carlisle!" I can't help it, I'm a mind reader remember? Jeez, I'm just trying to help and you're being a stubborn idiot!"
Carlisle turned around suddenly, eyes flashing in anger as he glared at me. Watch it Edward, he threatened, while growling lowly at me once more. I could tell his emotions were all haywire from his thoughts. Self-doubt was clouding his mind making him feel as though he wasn't a good father. I could hear insults, no doubt from Carlisle's father going through his head. I also knew that he was embarrassed and ashamed of me knowing this about him. He was feeling vulnerable and he hated it. And, to top it all off, he was also irritated with me for deliberately reading his thoughts and yelling at him. My father, usually the epitome of calm was losing his cool. His nerves were frayed and his temper was simmering, but I continued on pushing.
"Or what," I scoffed, "you going to hit me some more?"
He stared at me with astonished eyes before quickly responding, "I did not hit you!" His thoughts were a whirl of confusion and hurt as he compared this statement to my earlier ones. His doubt increased slightly before he squashed it down.
I swallowed, already regretting what I was going to say. "Yes you did. I take back what I said earlier, you are just like your father!" I roared causing him to openly flinch.
Carlisle's thoughts continued to change rapidly. He once more felt hurt and doubt by my words, but he also felt anger and injustice. I am nothing like my father! he yelled in his mind. "Enough Edward! You do not know what you speak of!" he scolded in anger, taking a threatening step towards me.
"NO!" I responded defiantly. "I know exactly what I'm talking about. I saw your memory! Your dad was a bullying asshole who enjoyed beating the tar out of you, and you're just like him!" I screamed in gross exaggeration.
"A spanking is a far cry from abuse Edward Cullen, and if you do not watch it you will find yourself receiving another one," he threatened dangerously, his eyes rapidly darkening.
"Go on then, hit me!" I replied. "I know you want to!"
Carlisle growled loudly at me, while taking another threatening step towards me, and it took all my willpower not to openly flinch and run away. I had to stand my ground. "I'm warning you now young man, be silent or you will not like the consequences," he hissed menacingly.
He was astonished and furious with me and my accusations, but he was still warring with himself. He was desperately clinging to the last shreds of his self control for fear of harming me. However, that fear was quickly being overruled by his growing disappointment and anger in my behavior. My plan was working exactly as I thought it would. I was using reverse psychology on him, and the more I argued that he was exactly like his father, the more he reminded himself that he wasn't.
"What are you waiting for old man?" I continued to taunt, taking a step towards him.
Carlisle gave me a dangerous glare before taking a step away from me, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was trying to get himself to calm down, I thought, frowning.
One more push is all he needs.
I gave a forced laugh, causing him to open his eyes.
"You're a pathetic coward! It's no wonder you couldn't save Ariana," I sneered, instantly knowing my goal had been achieved, but deeply regretting my words at the look on my father's face. He took a step back looking as though he had been struck. Extreme hurt flashed through his eyes only to be quickly replaced with cold fury. Gaze hardened, he snarled loudly before turning around and punching a hole into the wall behind him.
I jumped, caught completely off guard by this totally uncharacteristic display of violence. Brilliant job Edward, I told myself. You just took the most pacifistic vampire in all of history and got him to start punching holes in walls.
Turning around abruptly, my father then flashed over to me and picked me up by the collar of my shirt until I was barely standing on my toes.
I flinched at the fury in his pitch black eyes, trying desperately to not show the fear I felt. I tried to read his thoughts, but I was astonished to find that he was blocking me somehow.
Growl rumbling in his chest and teeth bared slightly Carlisle forced me to look into his eyes. I could feel him shaking from the pure rage he felt, but the longer I looked him in the eyes, the less anger and more disappointment I began to see. Still shaking slightly, and too angry to speak Carlisle let go of my collar, allowing me to drop to me feet. He then took a step back, never taking his eyes off me.
I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding before giving Carlisle a small triumphant smile and saying, "See Dad, I told you, you're nothing like your father. Even in a towering rage, you've done nothing more than growl at me."
I watched as my dad froze, shock replacing the anger on his face. Still unable to read his thoughts, I watched as realization began to dawn on his face.
"You were lying?" he asked in bewilderment.
"Yep," I nodded with a proud smile.
"You deliberately provoked me in the hopes that I would lose control?" he then asked in growing anger.
Smile faltering slightly, I nodded affirmatively.
Glaring at me once more, he asked, "So you deliberately pushed me until I lost control hoping that I would what? Hoping that I would prove you wrong? What if I hadn't?" he yelled in frustration, throwing his hands in the air.
I gulped opening my mouth to explain myself. "Dad, it's not like that,"- but I was cut off with a fierce growl.
I flinched and watched as my father turned around and walked away. He violently pulled open the door, breaking it off its hinges before going down the stairs and out the front door.
I stared, suddenly feeling extremely horrible and guilty. This was the second time in as many days that my plans had not gone according to plan. I had no idea where my father was going, but thought it would be best if I didn't follow.
Settling down on his couch, I put my head in my hands all the while thinking, what the hell did I just do?
I walked through the forest, willing my anger and frustration to leave me. I could not remember the last time I had felt so out of sorts, that I had lost control. I growled lowly before taking a deep breath and running a hand through my hair. I sighed deeply before leaning up against a tree.
What are you doing Carlisle? I thought to myself. Closing my eyes, I rested my head on the tree, willing and allowing myself to relax. As I stood there I used the time to think over the argument I had with Edward; or, at least what I thought had been an argument.
I had been shocked, hurt and angered beyond belief at the things Edward had said to me. His words had ripped right through me because they were the same words that had been echoing in my mind already. However, the more Edward screamed those words, the more I reminded myself how untrue they were. I knew I was nothing like my father, but it had taken the drastic measures of my son to remind me of that.
I felt so disgusted with myself for allowing old fears, for allowing the words of my father to get to me. It was as though I were a boy once more listening to the patronizing voice of my father after I had once more disappointed him.
I could not believe I had allowed myself to become so unwound. I still felt so ashamed at the memory Edward saw of me. I shuddered slightly as Ariana's terrified face flashed through my mind.
"You're a pathetic coward! No wonder you couldn't save Ariana."
Even though I now knew Edward did not mean the words, I still could not help the hurt and fury that tore through me. How dare he say such words to me when he had no idea what I had gone through- when he had no idea of how much I still felt guilty for her death. I had failed Ariana. I had told her I could save her, but I had failed.
I, however, was no coward. Despite the pain I had been in then, I had arrived at the courthouse with my father and had pleaded Ariana's case once more. I had repeated Ariana's story to my father in front of the other men, hoping he would be more inclined to listen to me. I realized before I had even finished my story though that I had failed. My father had been downright furious, and had me forced out of the courthouse and back to Mr. Jameson's house. Once my father had returned to the house he completely ignored me, except to tell me that Ariana would be executed later that evening and that my presence was required. I had wanted to sneak out to see Ariana, but my father having anticipated this, had not let me out of his sight.
I choked back a sob as I remembered the burning. Ariana had been sobbing and pleading with the crowd. When she had spotted me she began calling my name, and it took all my willpower not to turn away or rush to her. My father had maintained a tight grip on me the entire time, making sure that I watched the entire thing. I had been sobbing before it was over, no longer caring that I was only infuriating my father even more. That night's punishment had been one of the worst I had ever had. In fact, I still had a few faint scars now, remnants that forever reminded me of Ariana and how I had failed her.
"You didn't fail her," a quiet voice said, startling me out of my musings.
My eyes shot open to see my son watching me with a mournful expression. I opened my mouth to say something, but then gave a soft humorless chuckle before sliding down the tree and sitting down. Edward silently came over before sitting down across from me.
Looking at me with guilt ridden eyes, he then apologized profusely for the things he had said. "I am so sorry Dad. Please understand that I didn't mean those things I said at all. You weren't listening to me so I thought if I said those things I would get you to see how stupid those thoughts really were!"
"I know Edward," I said with a small sigh. Putting a hand on his shoulder, I gave it a squeeze saying, "I understand what you did perfectly, I just wish…" Running a hand through my hair I raised my eyebrows when Edward shook his head at me.
"No," he said, grabbing onto my arm, "I should never have said you were like your father or that you were a coward or that you couldn't save Ariana. It was hurtful and wrong, even if I was doing it to help. You are a great man, a great dad and I know you would never hurt me!" he exclaimed, looking at me with earnest eyes.
I looked my son in the eyes, sincerely touched by his words, and I gave him a smile.
"Edward, you are truly a gift from God. Your trust and belief in me is truly endearing," I expressed to him sincerely while running a hand through his unruly hair.
Edward leaned into the touch before giving me a concerned stare. "Are you really OK Dad, because I'm really really sorry."
"Enough Edward," I chided gently. "You have nothing to apologize for."
My son nodded slowly before wincing slightly as he fidgeted.
I frowned slightly, slight guilt coursing through me. I'm sorry, I thought to Edward, causing him to give me an exasperated look.
"Dad, really, quit apologizing," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I know you're new at this dad thing, so let me explain something to you. Though I obviously don't like it, you're allowed, no supposed to punish me at times; and yeah, I guess that means you can sp-spank me," he said awkwardly, looking anywhere but at me. I bit back a chuckle at his expression.
"Anyways," he continued to say with a shake of the head, "after punishing me you're not supposed to apologize because, I guess it sends a wrong message or something. It's like saying you were wrong…" he finished with a shrug of his shoulders before looking up at me in embarrassment.
I mulled over his words, definitely seeing the sense in them. I definitely didn't want Edward to feel that I felt his earlier actions were alright. His disrespect and defiance had definitely gotten out of control and I had to do something. Thinking along these lines, I remembered Edward telling me earlier about how his human father would have punished him the same way.
"You're human parents spanked you?" I asked curiously.
Edward groaned lowly, while fidgeting. Sighing, he then nodded his head at me. Looking up at me through fringes of hair he said, "Well, yeah, I mean it's not uncommon. I usually got it for being disrespectful or putting my life in danger," he said with an embarrassed smile. "It was usually my dad who punished me, but if I was dumb enough to piss off my mom, she sure had a hard hand," he finished with a chuckle, while rubbing the back of his head.
I smiled, feeling relief that I had not somehow traumatized my son. It seems I had somehow traumatized myself, I thought in embarrassment.
"You sure did," Edward agreed with a smile. I cuffed him on the head lightly, while giving him a pointed look.
He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, giving me a teasing grin. "Honestly Dad, I don't know how you ever thought you could hurt me. You're the most compassionate and pacifistic person I've ever met. You were much easier on me than my human father would've been," he told me.
Looking at my son with a sly grin I asked, "So I'm too easy, huh? I'll remember that for next time."
Edward stared at me with open mouth before sputtering out, "What? N-No way, that's not what I meant! You're not too easy at all!"
I laughed out loud, feeling lighter than I had in a long while.
Edward pouted and then glared at me after I told him he looked like a little boy.
Sighing contentedly we both sat in companionable silence, both lost in our thoughts.
I moved over to sit next to my father and leaned into him. He wrapped an arm around me and brought me closer. My father's thoughts were now content. He no longer carried the guilt and self-hatred that I had heard before. I still couldn't believe the kind of life Carlisle had led as a boy, and how his father could be so cruel. I couldn't understand how he turned out so compassionate after growing up with a man like that.
Remembering how Ariana's story had ended, I once more remembered how broken he had looked as he recalled her death. Wanting to make sure he no longer was blaming himself, I hesitantly asked, "You don't still blame yourself for Ariana's death, do you?"
My father stiffened, and his thoughts turned painful. Sighing deeply, he thought over the events before responding. "I should have done more. I should have known better than to go to my father," he responded in a strained voice. "I could have saved her that night. I could have helped her escape," he said in a self deprecating voice before I cut him off with an elbow to the ribs.
Carlisle gave me a confused look while I once more gave him an exasperated expression.
"How can you be so brilliant, yet so stupid at the same time Dad?" I asked in bewilderment. "You did everything you could to save Ariana. It took a lot of guts to stand up to your father like that, even after he had hurt you already. It's not your fault Ariana died, it's your fathers!" I exclaimed, giving him a pointed look.
I allowed my father to think over what I had said. He argued with himself for several minutes before eventually conceding that I was probably right. I knew the argument wasn't over, but for now he was leaning towards agreement with me.
Pulling me in for a hug, he kissed the top of my head before giving me two sharp swats to my backside.
"Ouch!" I yelped, more out of surprise than pain. I looked up at Carlisle in reproach, and he gave me a stern look.
"You have been cursing quite proficiently today, and I believe enough is enough. I have no qualms with washing your mouth out with soap," he said sternly before giving me a smile.
I nodded embarrassedly, trying discreetly to rub the sting out of my bum.
Carlisle noticed and laughed before standing up and pulling me up with him.
I huffed. There must be something wrong with me. Why the hell would I convince the man that spanking me was alright? I knew I would come to regret this, I thought with a sigh.
My father took a deep breath before turning towards me with a wide smile.
"Well, I have several more days before I am expected back at work, so how about that hunting trip I promised you?" he asked me excitedly.
"Really?" I said in surprise. "Of course, let's go!" I said, pulling my dad towards home.
He laughed before racing me towards home. I of course won, and so I quickly gathered my stuff before waiting at the foot of the stairs for my dad. I smiled wildly at that thought. I have a dad again. I have a dad who loves me dearly and is not afraid to show it, whether it be with a ruffle of my hair or with a kick in the ass. These past two days had been really emotional and difficult, but they had also been very enlightening and rewarding.
Listening in to my father's thoughts, I smiled, touched by his thoughts of me.
I quickly grabbed some stuff and put them in a bag before walking out of my room. Passing by my office, I could not help but grimace slightly at the damage I had caused. These past two days had been a real whirlwind of adventures for Edward and I. Being a father was nothing like I had thought it would be. It was much more difficult, but also much more rewarding that I could have ever believed.
Edward was the center of my life now, and I would do my best to be the best father I could for him. I knew there would be many more ups and downs, many more fights and tears, but there would also be many more laughs and hugs, many more father and son moments. I smiled widely at the thought before laughing at Edward's impatient huffs.
"Come on Dad! Quit being sappy and let's go! I wanna find some mountain lions!" Edward yelled to me.
Coming Edward, I thought to him in amusement.
Life would never be easy or perfect, but it would definitely be good enough for me. With Edward by my side, how could it not?
A/N: So, what'd you think? Please let me know! I thought the image of Carlisle, who is the epitome of calm, punching a wall was just too great to pass up.
Just want to thank everybody for their awesome reviews and all the tips for my Rosalie story. You guys should give yourselves pats on the back. Currently working on Fathers and Daughters: Rosalie, but I have no idea when I'll finish. I will finish it though, so don't worry.