AN: I have been gone for a very long time. So...I figured in my return I'd do something outside my range of DWP, Twilight, And Bleach...Ever so sweet little I come!

I will soon be re-writing my Twilight Saga fics. To better personalize Alice in better character. Bear with me. The more reviews I get...the faster I can get to finishing that up. I'm a little rusty at writing so let me know what you think!

Warning!: femslash, yuri...don't like it? (Do I sound like I give a shit? No I do not.) OOCness! Kinda AU cause I added a person :p

Hope you guys missed me :)

People always tell you that you're in control of your life. But sometimes…you can't be. You can be in the wrong place at the wrong time and it goes from there.

Maybe that's why my mother always told me to be home right on time. No talking to strangers.

'Get the water and come home right away.'

I tried to listen. I wanted to. I really did, but when you act on instinct…it's hard to take that step back before you fall over the cliff side.

We were childhood friends…and even though we'd get into some trouble sometimes (usually not my fault), I was always pushed back to the right side.

'I'm sorry…you're supposed to be a good girl…you shouldn't follow me around.'

I didn't listen. And it wasn't very often I was forced to.


She was like her brother Peter, dark and mysterious…like that dark heartbroken prince in all the stories. But then she wasn't like him. Peter didn't care about breaking the rules. He didn't care if he got his sister and me into trouble. But she always took the blame for me when we got caught doing silly things.

Peter would always scoff and say I was a chicken.

'You're a big cry baby!'

She would always fight him back and say he was the one afraid, because as soon as trouble came around…he was dust in the wind.

She was like my knight.

I tried to keep us both out of trouble…but sometimes…she got curious. She didn't mean to look for trouble, but her curiosity always won out. And I always followed.

She'd tell me not to. She'd tell me all the time. But I never listened. And she only forced me to stay away once and a while.

I was drawn…her wild dark hair…she always kept it shorter than the other girls. Just above her shoulder. Her wild scent of poison berries and grass with the fog still coating it. The scent of fresh dirt was always on her hands. And wild flowers.

If I knew Mother Nature…I'd say she must have a scent just like Patricia.

'Be good Valerie.'

"Valerie!" I looked up to see Patricia hop down into the creek we got water from. She grinned at me; her hair was ruffled, like she'd just run sprints through the trees to get to me. She offered me her hand. She didn't even have to say anything…I just took it.

We sunk down under a larger tree's roots. "Look," she pointed. A small white rabbit. "It means it'll be winter soon."

Once the hare was on the bait…I pulled the string and the trap we'd made closed over it. Patricia jumped up and ran over to get it. I followed, of course.

She held it carefully. "You wanna keep it?"

I reached out to take it and pet its head. It was cotton soft. "My mama wouldn't let me." It was a shame; it didn't struggle to get away or anything. It would have been a perfect pet.

"I bet it has a family."

I smiled. "Probably."

She dug into the pocket of her stitched pants and pulled out some seeds. She gave it to the animal and it took them greedily. I looked up at her; sometimes it was annoying to always have to look up at her. But she couldn't help it…so it was kinda nice sometimes.

"Why're you so nice and your brother is so mean?" I asked curiously, petting the soft head of the hare.

She shrugged. "My mother calls him a bad seed. Like he's part of a rotten apple."

Then she must have been from something amazing then. I grinned. "It's good you're not like him then." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she smiled shyly but happy. When we let the rabbit go and headed home, she returned the kiss and ran off somewhere…I wanted to follow just like always…but she was always faster than me.

We did everything together…and I learned as the years went by…Peter liked me. A lot. But…I didn't want him. I wanted Patricia.

She was my first kiss…I remember…it was on the celebration of the new year…she brought me winter lilies. And when everyone was busy cheering and screaming at the dances and drinks in the center of the village…she pulled me far aside and kissed me. It felt like my heart would burst.

And however painful that felt…I was so happy…and it was a feeling I'd always enjoy. That bursting happiness.

Years later…she became a woodcutter with her brother. The first woman to do so. It just proved how strong she was, how strong she wanted to be. She said she did it so she would be strong enough to protect me.

I helped my mama and papa around with everything seeing as I wasn't strong like she was.

And even though she was always telling me to be good and not to do what she did…I did it anyways. Like the time she snatched a travelers wallet. She hadn't meant to do it for fun, her mother was sick and they needed medicine and more food. Even so…she still grinned at me when she got back to our hiding place. She gave me some of the extra money to buy whatever I wanted.

She was the good one…Peter once killed a fox just because…he'd shown it to us…I was sick for the rest of the day. He still didn't understand why.

'Be a good girl.'

Even as I tried my hardest to be…it didn't stop me from stealing her ax just for fun sometimes.

"I know it's you Valerie." She chuckled, but it sounded funny…like something was wrong. When I jumped out and tried to look intimidating, she chuckled. And I saw the hurt look on her face even through the distance.

"Pat…," I called, holding the ax carefully at my side like a cane. She walked closer; she gave me that grin that made me melt.

She and Peter looked a lot alike, dark and charming. But when he looked at me…he always looked like he wanted to actually eat me alive. When she looked at me…it was like seeing the whole world (even though I'd never left the village…not even to see the city).

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head; her hair was tied up today. "Nothing, I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

I scoffed and pulled it out of her reach. "I've taken this before, and I've never once gotten hurt. And don't change the subject, you're a terrible liar." She was, or maybe only I could tell because I was around her all the time.

"So you really don't know?"

I frowned. "Know what?"

She takes the cutter away from me carefully. "You've been arranged to marry that Henry Lazar. The blacksmith."

I stared at her, for half a second I thought she was kidding…that it was just another bad joke of hers. But when she gave me that horribly serious stare…I didn't know what to say. My brain scrambled for words. "But,"

She shook her head. "It's a good think Vale…he has money."

"I don't want money…I don't want anything he can buy me." I snapped, stating to pace. "I don't want him. I don't even know him." This must have been mama's idea. "I guess she got what she wanted." I mumbled.

"Who?" I didn't ask how she'd been able to hear me.

"My mother. She's always wanted more money."

"Woodcutters don't make very much, that isn't a secret." Patricia reasoned. "There's nothing wrong with wanting something more to make yourself happy."

"I don't want more." I pressed my back into a tree, ignoring the bark digging into my spine. I didn't want money, or a bigger house, or nicer things. I just wanted Patricia.

She set down the ax and copied me, leaning against the tree and staring up into the leaves. "Do you want to marry him?"

"I just told you."

"Yeah, but if you're honest with yourself…would it really be so bad. To have nicer clothes and a bigger house. You may even get to go to the city."

"It would be nice. But I don't want it." I sighed, leaning against her still taller frame. She was almost as tall as the other boys. It was strange.

She hummed. "Prove it." I looked up, her face was obscured by the sunlight, all I could see was the outline of her face and a laughing brown eye looking down at me as the light turned her hair gold. I just wanted her.


"Come away with me." She stepped away, I watched her with a smile. "It'll be fun."

I couldn't help my slight giggle, but the grin was permanent. Just the idea was thrilling. "And go where?"

"Anywhere you wanted. I'd get you there." This was what I meant. She didn't mean it to sound like a bad idea…but it did sound that way. Like a delinquent plan…but I loved it…I loved her. "You know I'll take care of you."

I knew.

"We could go to the city…or to the south with the oceans that are warm all the time. Or even east to the flat lands. The desert…although it'd be hot and dry." She grinned. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Everywhere."

She had the amazing ability to make everything sound deliciously amazing. "Sounds wonderful."

"You're not scared to leave the village are you?" She teased. She did this all the time when we were kids. I couldn't be afraid…not with her looking over me. I shook my head; she walked closer and loomed over me as my back hit the tree again

"No, I know you'll protect me."

She braced her hands on either side of me. It was moments like this that I appreciated the fact that she was a few inches taller than me. "So you'd be willing to leave everything for me?" She lowered a hand and I sighed when I felt it press into my side. "You'd do that for me?"

"Whatever it takes. You're all I want." I answered without missing a beat. Of course I'd miss my family and friends…but Patricia…she was like the moon and the sun to me…my life.

"Then you have to stay." She smiled sadly.

"What?" No…I wanted to run away with her.

She stood back and offered her hand, I took it…I was always eager to be as close to her as possible. "I'm not my brother. I'm not gunna make you choose." She pulled me closer.

It was another thing I loved about her. Her selflessness, I admired it. "Maybe I want to."

She chuckled, brushing some of my hair behind my ear. "That's your answer to everything." She leans in closer and I can smell mint leaves on her breath. And cinnamon. I loved it. "Come on, let's head back." She takes my hand and reaches behind me for her ax.

"Good doer!" I taunted, stepping away with a wide grin on my face.

"Only for you darling." She laughs. Which was kind of true….she didn't get along well with others our age. She mostly got along with the kids the best…and me of course.

We had only taken a few steps before we heard the village church bell start to ring. It wasn't time for any ceremonies of any kind…so it could only mean one thing.

"The wolf."

Patricia pulled me into a run as we raced for the village.

The silence was frightening. Patricia let me lead the way through the stacks of hay and flowers. When we were little…we'd always come out here.

Thinking about it numbed my nerves for a moment.

'Roses are red, violets are blue,' she'd looked me in the eye and smiled. 'And sugar is sweet…and I like you.' It was her first admission to saying how she felt for me.

'I like you too.' Just remembering that grin of hers…even if I got to see it every day…just thinking about it made me feel a little better. She'd plucked a whole stack full of them and made a makeshift bed for me. I smelled like flowers for a week.

Nobody was ever as sweet to me at Pat. Nobody.

And just when my worry and fear was starting to lift…the way my friends looked at me…it made it all come crashing back.

The wolf…

It had killed…I stopped in front of Roxanne and Prudence. "Who was it?" I asked. I was afraid of the answer.

"Your sister."

No…no that couldn't be true. I pushed my way through the growing crowd. Mother and father were there… "Mother…father?" I only called them that when I was stressed. They turned to me. I could feel Pat hovering behind me, that unconventional vow that she was there for me.

My parents stepped aside, my father was stoic with a hurt look in his eyes, and my mother was trying to keep herself from breaking down into tears.

I felt my breath escape my lungs. This wasn't real…this was just a bad dream. I wished so much it was just some nightmare. My sister…my only sister…

"Lucie!" I didn't know what to do. I knelt beside her and shook her…like she was asleep and that blood stain was just red wine and she was drunk. But she was cold to the touch and pale…she wasn't waking up.

It started snowing that night.

Pat was finally the one that pulled me away, and I took comfort in her warmth. She was alive and breathing. It was comforting…my hands had been freezing from the snow and the body that eventually went stiff.

She left me with my family to grieve as she went to get a candle to light so she could properly pay her respects to my sister.

I lit all the candles, noticing my father drinking more than usual tonight. It was terrible…horrible and gruesome. I still felt sick.

Roxanne's brother, Claude, gave me a little angel doll. He was always so nice. He was smarter than people seemed to think. He was quiet though, and timid in the extreme. "Thank you Claude." I tried to smile. He forced one and nodded.

When someone came to the door I looked up to see Henry and his family. I quickly climbed up the ladder to my bed and sat back so he couldn't see me. I wanted Patricia there with me so badly.

My mother quickly came to sit with me. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. Love didn't work the way they seemed to think. I wanted to love who I was going to marry.

Alicia had been that lucky. She was an old friend that took a vow with a quiet brown haired girl nobody even seemed to notice until she pulled her out of hiding. She lives in the city now, she still sends letters.

"He's your fiancé now. He's here to give condolences."

"I don't even know him." I mumbled. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. Why couldn't I be strong like Pat?

I didn't want to marry a stranger. I wasn't her…why couldn't she see that?

"You'll get to know him soon. Go down there Valerie, at least be friendly." I huffed quietly and stood, following her back down. But I stood in a corner, away from him.

He glanced at me for a moment. Then he looked to my father. "Cesarie." He sounded kind…I'd only spoken to him about three times in my whole life. They were few and far apart. "Join us at the tavern. We should allow the women to grieve in their own way." A gentleman…nothing like Peter…but alike to Patricia.

No, no he wasn't. Pat wouldn't have left me alone if I was sad and lost. She'd stay with me and hold me and listen to me. But…considering we knew little of each other…he was acting in accordance. I thanked him silently for that.

When my mother came to my side…she whispered to me of how she wasn't in love with papa when she was first arranged to marry him. That she loved another man…something in her tone told me she was hiding something from me.

I wanted Pat…

I needed comfort.