Hey guys. First fanfiction story EVER so be nice please! It was edited by BigTimeLoganLover, so I owe her credit where credit is due. R&R ^_^ I don't own Big Time RushorRegular Show! (wish I did though…)


Carlos yelped as he sat up quickly. He was shaking and in a cold sweat. He looked around from his spot on the orange couch and saw the TV was off and the room was dark. What happened? He thought, thinking back. Oh right, I fell asleep while I was watchingRegular Show,again. Stupid.He sat up and stretched pulling his phone out and looking at the cat clock app he had bought. 4:30 a.m.? Great now Gustavo's gonna kill me because my sleep is screwed up. Oh well.

He stood up slowly; trying not to trip over the coffee table somewhere in front of him…He failed. Hitting his leg on the table, he quickly fell to the ground, smacking his arms on something hard. He growled and sat up then smiled seeing what he had hit his arm on.

His helmet laid beside him on the floor. He noticed a note was stuck to it and took it off.

Carlitos, you fell asleep on the couch again and I took your helmet off so you wouldn't injure yourself… Ironic, isn't it? You were mumbling something in your sleep and you seemed to be dreaming so I didn't wake you in fear of getting attacked by your 'super hero powers' in case you were dreaming of the Jennifers or something.

~Logan

He smiled and smashed the note on his forehead then throwing it in the direction of the trash can. A shiver ran down his spine as he remembered what his dream...no his nightmare, was about. His heart started racing and he started to sweat again.

His father's loud and slurred words ran through his head again. Get out of here! No one wants you! Your own mother hated you so much she killed herself. Carlos jumped as he heard the gunshot echo through his head. He grabbed his helmet and placed it on his head, before laying on the floor on his stomach, crossing his arms over his head and laying it on them. "I'm sorry, Dad." He murmured, tears hitting the carpet. "I didn't mean to, I swear. I didn't know Mom was going to do that. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.: He started crying harder, his cries muffled by the floor. He crossed his arms over the back of his head, the cool plastic helmet against his arms.


*f*l*a*s*h*b*a*c*k*t*i*m*e

A small five-year-old Carlos stared into his father's trophy case at a hockey helmet. His father appeared behind him with a warm smile. "That's my first hockey helmet. Someday I hope it will be yours…"

Carlos smiled and jumped up and down excitedly. "Really?"

His father smiled down at him. "Really, really."


Carlos cried even harder. After his mother committed suicide, his father fell into a state of depression that soon lead to drinking which led to… Carlos touched the scar above his eyebrow. He thought back to the night his world changed…


*OMG Another flash back!*

Carlos sat in the living room, running a washrag over his mud covered skateboard. As he was just finishing up, he heard the front door close. Carlos had grown accustomed to tensing up when he heard that sound. He was used to the sound of it slamming closed, but this time all he heard was the front door closing quietly. He turned his head around to see his father stalking into the living room holding a beer bottle. His father didn't acknowledge Carlos as he walked towards the gun cabinet, pulling out a handgun. He turned and pointed it at Carlos with a shaking hand as Carlos stared at him with wide eyes. "D-Dad? W-what are you," Carlos glanced at his dad's face. He saw the brown eyes so like his filled with nothing but coldness and hatred. He looked back at the black gun pointing at him. "What are you doing with that?"

His father stumbled closer to him breaking the bottle on the arm of the couch, pointing it at Carlos. "You, get out of here! No one wants you here! Even your mother hated you so much, she killed herself." He advanced towards Carlos quickly. He threw the broken bottle at Carlos but missed his eye and cut a gash between his left eye and bangs. His father, who was satisfied with the amount of blood pouring from the cut, stood in front of Carlos as he put the gun to his head, his brown eyes now filled with nothing.

Carlos' eyes widen. "Dad, NO!" He ran forward. He tried to stop him. But he wasn't fast enough. The loud bang echoed through the house. Blood sprayed out at the walls and on Carlos. Carlos quickly knelt next to his father. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, I swear!" He started shaking his dad, trying to get him to open his eyes. "I promise I'll be good!I'll never argue with you again, I'll even try not to yell when you hit me, Daddy! Daddy, please! Dad!" He started crying harder when blood slowly started falling down his father's face, like red tears. Carlos looked up, unable to stand the sight any longer. He looked into his father's case at the helmet.

He got up and walked over to it slowly, the tears slowing down as the shock started settling in. He took the helmet out slowly and placed it on his head as he walked back to his father. "There Daddy. Now maybe one day I'll be like you, and maybe I'll get a happy ending…"


The next bit is a blur to him, but he still remembered the sadness about his father's death, and the anger at himself for not stopping it.

Carlos lay in the living room crying hard, trying not to wake anyone though. "Carlos?" A sleepy voice asked. Damn Logan for being such a light sleeper. "Car- Carlos!" Carlos felt the floor shake as Logan ran over to him. "Are you okay?" Carlos didn't answer. "What happened?" Again, no answer, just crying. "Buddy please. Talk to me." Carlos sat up slowly and looked up timidly at his best friend. Tears streaming down his face as he tackled Logan, pulling him into a hug.

He was grateful that Logan was there. He needed someone right now and Logan was the only person in the world that would be able to help him through it. Logan knew what it was like to lose a love one in such a horrible way, even Logan hadn't witnessed it, he still knew how to help more than James or Kendall did.

"Logan… I had that nightmare. The one where my dad died… except-" he burst into tears. "It's not just a nightmare! It's real!" He cried into Logan's shoulder.

Logan rubbed his back softly, trying to calm his Latino friend. "It's okay. I know it hurts but you can't keep blaming yourself for what your father did."

"But, it's my fault!" Carlos shook as he took a deep breath. "I was such a horrible kid that my mom killed herself! I drove my dad into depression! I deserved to be beaten! And I should've stopped him! It's my fault!"

"Don't say that. You know deep down inside, that none of that was your fault. What happened had nothing to do with you."

"I-I don't even have any real family left! They're all dead because of me!"

"You're wrong, Carlos." Logan gently pulled back from Carlos, putting a hand under his chin and making him look at him. "We're your family, Me, James, and Kendall. We've always been your family. And nothing in the world could change that." Logan said, using his other hand to wipe away the tears on Carlos's face. He smiled when he saw the relief cross Carlos' face.

Carlos sniffed and looked up at him with child-like eyes. "Thanks, Logie. You always know what to say."


Momogirl555: Yay! You read it! Well, anyways I hope you liked it. I owe this to my friend BigTimeLoganLover. She inspires the darker stories. In my opinion, that's a compliment.

BigTimeLoganLover: It's a very scary compliment in my opinion because it's true.

Momogirl555: Well, thanks for reading! I hope you read more of my stories as I progress.:P

~Momo