Rating: K+ for some mild innuendo, language, kissing (gasp), & safety (If you guys think it should be T because of the language, let me know; I do think K+ is okay, but if someone thinks it's not, better safe than sorry.)
Spoilers: Everything up until and including the finale of Season 2
Disclaimer: I do not, nor shall I (probably) ever own Glee, or Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss. There are real some real people in this who have absolutely nothing to do with this fiction or Glee the TV show; I'm just stealing them for a bit, and this is by no means a true story. I chose to put the person in that I did because I love her, and it would get tedious saying "the consultant" through the entire thing. Actually, ladies & gents, I'm a little bit worried about using them because there's a "no real person fiction" rule here, but I'm only using them as plot devices, and none of them do anything terrible or disrespectful, so it's probably okay right? If it's not, and you know this for a fact, PLEASE tell me, so I can alter the story (probably just change their names). I do NOT want to be breaking any rules that could get the story removed here.
This came to me almost out of the blue after an episode of Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss, when I was all thinking, "Holy crap! What if Lauren went on this?", and then I got alls excited, and I had to start this. I'm sorry that I'm writing this instead of updating Lovesick Puppies. I just had to get it out. I hope I did justice to the characters.
JSYK: The italics are what's goin' down en la casa de William Schuester and the regular font is the show.
I love you all who bravely storm through the story, and I love you even more if you review/favorite/alert (especially REVIEW *heart*). Seriously though, with reviews, if you feel like I did a terrible job, feel free to throw it in my face! Long Author's Note is long. Enjoy!
"But the Spanish papers!" William Schuester said, "I have tons of Lo que hicé durante el verano papers to grade."
"Come on, Will," pleaded an insistent voice, "You gotta watch at least the Big Bliss. Give it a chance." His significant other grabbed his hand and pouted. William Schuester desperately wanted to say no, but seeing that look on her face broke him.
"Fine, honey; I'll see how it goes," Will sighed he leaned forward to peck her on the lips before the inevitable, "Hahaha. I've won" celebratory exclamation she was bound to make.
"Yay!" she said, throwing her arms up triumphantly, "Now, come cuddle with me on the couch, mister."
Will smiled a little at that and did as he was told. She smiled at him, settled on the couch, and flipped the television on just as the opening credits were finishing.
A dark haired and skinned female consultant briefly appeared on screen and said rather enthusiastically, "We've never had anything like this happen before at Salon! And a lot of crazy things happen at Kleinfeld's." Images flashed of a blonde man twirling around a hugely rhinestoned dress, a large redhead crushing an equally large, bearded brunette with her brutal hug, and a brief flash of a mohawked man winking and making a beckoning motion.
Will's mouth hung open "That kind of looks like Puck", he observed aloud.
"Shh, Will; I want to hear."
A room of female consultants dressed in black appeared on screen, listening intently to the speakers, Randy and Joan.
"Ladies, nowadays, a lot of brides are bringing their fiancés with them to help with dress selection," Joan started.
"Our job is to make the process as smooth as possible. She's always going to want his approval, but we have to make sure that the final decision is what the bride wants," Randy finished.
The consultants nodded. The narrator began, "With today's meeting in mind, Keisha goes to her appointment."
"Hello," A confident voice started coming from a figure that was appearing in the Kleinfeld's interview area. The figure was dressed in a navy blue and blouse with white polka dots. She was wearing Aldo and Youth Aids empowerment dog tags and glasses. Her hair was half up and half down slightly curled.
"No way!" both Will and his couch partner exclaimed. They looked at each other in disbelief.
"My name is Lauren Zizes, and I am getting married to Noah Puckerman."
A photo flashed onscreen of smiling man with a mohawk, looking very pleased with himself and an ecstatic Lauren being twirled around caught in mid-laugh.
"My fiancé? Well, if there's a guy on this planet who's ready for this jelly, it's him. Before he asked me out on our first date, he serenaded me; it was the first time I'd ever had a love song sung to me."
"Noah and Lauren have the sweetest relationship," a high pitched voice coming from a fashionable young countertenor stated.
"Kurt too!" Mr. Schue called out. His couch partner slapped him on the shoulder, warning him to silence himself.
"Now, a lot of people wonder, 'How did a girl like her get a guy like that?'", Kurt continued, "But, the truth of the story is Noah had to work to get her. She stood him up on what was supposed to be their first date."
Mr. Schue remembered Puck's serenading and smiled to himself,True, he thought.
"Lauren and I have a special relationship," a musical voice began as the person in the room switched from Kurt to another, "I actually briefly dated her man before he was her man, and just between you and me, I'm glad we didn't work out. Lauren's kind of been my manager since high school."
Will's mouth fell open. Mercedes! he thought.
"She helped me stand up for myself when I was settling for less than I deserved."
"Night of Neglect," whispered Mr. Schue, feeling a twinge of guilt over his constant and almost relentless featuring of Rachel Berry; he was now more invested in what was on the screen.
The view switched again.
"I'm kind of surprised Lauren invited me to come," Quinn Fabray explained, "Well first of all, her fiancé and I have history together *Quinn looked down a little guiltily*. I'm so glad that Lauren trusts me to be a part of her life. I remember in high school, she walked around like she owned the place no matter what anyone thought of her. Including me. We weren't always friends; we even ran against each other for prom Queen. We lost to a guy, actually *she smiled, at that*, but we are friends now, and it really means the world to me that she wants me here."
The screen changed to the ladies (and Kurt) sitting in a white dressing room.
"How do you envision yourself on your wedding day?" The consultant asked. Kurt squirmed in his seat.
Will laughed at that.
"Actually," Lauren said, casting a glance at Kurt who looked like was about to pop, "I don't really have a preference. I just want somethin' that'll make me look smokin'. My fiancé's a fox, and I don't want him to outdo me. What's best for my body type, and then we'll go from there, okay?"
"Fantastic!" Keisha exclaimed, throwing her arms out happily. Kurt was rocking back and forth on his chair at this point, appearing as if he were about to whimper.
Lauren looked at Keisha, then to Kurt, and, along with Mercedes and Quinn, gave Keisha a look that said, That boy needs his fix; don't be cruel.
Keisha caught on and laughed, "Excuse me, sir, would you like to come to the stock room with me?" Kurt squealed and jumped up from his chair.
Will laughed at the same time Keisha on the screen did.
Kurt suddenly appeared sitting in the interview room.
"I've always loved this show. I especially love Keisha; I adore her, and I have been watching this since high school," Kurt began; his arms went down as he put his hands on his hips even while he was sitting, "but Lauren is my girl, and I'm gonna make sure she looks beautiful on her wedding day. I don't expect to rip Keisha's head off, and I hope we can agree, but if there are problems, I can't make any promises."
The camera changed to Kurt and Keisha sifting through the huge amounts of dresses. Kurt pulled one out and spun it around before examining it more closely.
"Taffeta, sparkle, some nice ruching; I think it might work," he muttered to himself, about to go back into the search.
"Now do you think she wants exactly white or is ivory okay? I forgot to ask her," Keisha said, as she was trying to pull out a dress.
"I don't think she really has a preference," Kurt answered. His eyes fell to what Keisha was trying to pull, "Not that, though. Way too much lace. I think a little bit of it might be okay if we find something that works, but Lauren is not a lace girl, and quite frankly, I don't just don't think that'll work."
Keisha pulled out another dress and said, "Well within budget and no lace; I'm putting her in this first." Kurt's eyes widened in shock.
The view changed to another consultant with a large, redhead, who introduced herself as Penelope McFlynn and began talking about how she and her husband met.
"No!" the two inhabitants of a one Schuester couch shouted.
"I knew you would like it," she smirked at Mr. Schue as the new bride's predicament was being explained.
"Not fair. They're my Glee kids. Of course I'd be interested in it," Mr. Schue huffed.
"Mmm hmm. You know, they're not really your Glee kids anymore, Will."
Will was unfazed by her comment. "I was even upset that they're switching away from Lauren, so it wasdefinitely the people in it," Mr. Schue defended, getting close to her face, "and notthe show.
"Nuh-uh; I don't think so," she countered, "You were upset that the bride whose story had caught your interest was being switched away, which is a common occurrence with this show. You were even fully invested in the Kurt-Keisha fashion discussion."
Will stood up, not wanting to argue further, "Well, I'm going to the bathroom."
"Mind if I join you?"
Will looked at her a little shocked, "Whatever you have in mind, I'm going to the bathroom for digestive relief only."
Will shook his head and crossed his arms as he got up and started walking away, "Not working this time"
"If we miss this bride, we might as well miss it together."
"If you actually have togo, there is more than one bathroom available," Mr. Schue told her.
"Fine," she mumbled before saying more loudly, "But you are making it up to me afterwards."
Will smiled at that, "Gladly."
They both left to go to their respective lavatories.
A/N: Klaine is my OTP, but I also LOVE Luck/Pizes, so that's the reason for this. The future chapters will be probably be shorter than my other stories, 2,000-2,500 words (but knowing me I might go over psshh). Also who is proud of New York? I am freaking proud of New York! 44 states to go (or even better an amendment to ye olde Constitution)!