Atomic Robo in Nam'

Fortunate Robot

(A undisclosed location in Laos in July 1967)

"Aliens, mutants, dinosaurs, evil dictators, mad scientists, giant insects and now commies!" Atomic Robo said writing an invisible list. "Can it get better?" He asked lowering his shoulders while holding on to a handrail above his head in a UH-1 Iroquois helicopter gazing at the morning sunrise over southeast Asia.

"No not really!... when the napalm starts fallin' then it's like an artificial hell Robo Tesla." A man shouted over the helicopter's engines, he looked around thirty-six, his face appeared battle fatigued and had an unshaven stubble as a result.

A moment of silence came while in the background the song "Fortunate Son" played loudly.

"Can you tell the radio to stop playing that same song over and over again!" Robo complained looking angrily at the man next to him.

"Don't look at me!" The man next to Robo said as the intimidating man of steel stood next him.

"I haven't rested in twenty hours!" Robo continued complaining.

"We haven't either!" The man with the stubble said. "Get used to it! These commies like to keep us on our toes."

"Say Sergeant Boil what are we after again?" Robo asked.

The man with the stubble now identified as Boil read a map with large red markings on it.

"A convoy of Soviet missiles which can strike our positions in South Vietnam are being transported to a NVA or Soviet base, Intel couldn't get much more on it."

"No monsters?"

"No!"

"No giant man-eating insects?"

"No!"

"No dinosaurs which need a punch in the face?"

"No Robo! Just commies!"

Robo felt relieved. "It looks like my hands don't need to get dirty today." He said looking pleased.

"I wish we all could say the same thing." Boil added.

"Anyway why hasn't the airforce bombed the place? We have enough to blow a hole in the Earth." Robo asked looking at the map.

"Bombs don't seem to stop them! Obviously they have taken their operations into the mountains."

"You mean a base built inside the mountain to look natural?" Robo said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Must be we will have to find out when we get there."

Robo looked behind him to see a group of men who all had seen and been involved in energy draining combat with the NVA. They all looked so young. Boil was oldest at thirty-six, Robo may have even seen their grandfathers when they were young.

As the helicopter entered the combat zone the pilot switched the song to "Ride of the Valkyries".

"It's gonna' get hot hold on to your asses!"

"Great." Robo sighed rolling his blue glass sensors.

A few seconds followed and then a barrage of fire erupted from the ground, small arms fire and large anti-air rounds zoomed all around the Huey.

"Oh crap!" Robo shouted as he held on tight.

Metal clatters came from the ground as anti-air rounds were being fired, missing to the point of laughter.

"Are these guys one-eyed?" Robo joked seeing all the attackers miss the lone helicopter.

"Don't jinx it Robo!" Boil shouted panic and worry adorned his face.

When they thought it couldn't get any worse the pilot shouted the word the men in the back didn't want to hear.

"RPG!"

A collection of small rocket propelled grenades flew past the Huey leaving Robo to look at the trails of white smoke as they soared inches away from the fuselage.

"Boil! This isn't good." Robo shouted.

"Understatement of the year!" Boil replied. "The mountains are ahead! Just a few more klicks!"

Everyone felt a loud bang as an RPG had hit the tail causing the helicopter to spin out of control. Robo grabbed Boil from behind as everyone else was jumping to safety.

"This is no time for hugs Robo just jump!"

"Boil! Johnson told me to keep you alive!"

"That's nice of him!" Boil replied.

"We jump on my go!" Robo said. "One... three!"

Robo missed two deliberately and jumped backwards out of the helicopter almost suplexing out of it. He and Boil watched the helicopter crash into the dense jungle below followed by an explosion.

"If this kills me Boil, tell Lyndon Johnson he owes me BIG!"


"Fortunate Robo" is a parody of the famous song "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearview Revival used extensivly in Vietnam War films and games.