Summary: Unlike my companions, I can't stand the unending solitude.
The tower 1- The journey Ch 1 Journal
Ch 1 Journal
April 3rd Evening
It was kind of Vladimir to give me a journal to keep me occupied while I am here at the tower, I guess he saw how bored I was and took pity on me, but still the thought was nice and I overly thanked him for this small gift.
April 8th Morning
It seems as the days will not be kind to my loneliness and boredom as I sit here and write out my thoughts. I only have a few things to start with and that is to have some of my memories be dabbled onto paper so they can forever be known long after my life ceases to exist. I can only say so much in such a small amount of time before I find something more productive to do.
I should tell you that the tower is where I live for the time being. It is the clock tower that is part of Clockwork's cathedral and it is where I have been sentenced to stay. Though when I first saw this tower in my mind I saw a sanctuary here at the tower, but in my heart I now see a cage that I cannot leave.
April 8th Noon
The days seemed to collide together the longer I stay in the tower and slowly slip into madness, but you know what? I just do not care anymore. I shall tell you why, but note you shall have to wait as I need to go before someone notices my absence from a prior engagement that I cannot miss, so I'll speak about this later.
April 8th Evening
To know of my earlier words, you have to know of my past and how I feel of certain events, I shall not reveal much in this little book, but enough to let you get an insight on what I have done to get myself into this tower.
In many years to come I may never reflect back onto my decision to leave my parent's home. I may never wonder why I did or why I never made the decision to do so earlier. I will not reflect back on those decisions because I never had one be more greater then 'flee and live or stay and die' as my secrets that few knew of, the ones who were not of my kind or had particular bonds with me had no real knowledge of my being, as it was my secrets that made me have to make this choice.
I left home at sixteen to have small window to adjust while I was still in my youth and had the future ahead of me that held more decisions and possibilities as I continue to live while people who were my friends and family hunt me down to, in layman terms, gut me like a fat pig. I left the only place I knew of as home and went to a land I had no real knowledge of and no prior existence in such a place other then quickly barreling through to get from one place to another. I left with nothing more then myself, a spare set of clothes, a photo of better times and a small dog in my possession, everything else held no importance to me and my companion, Cujo, though the small dog disappeared as soon as we arrived to our destination.
I did stop to a few places to say goodbye to certain people who needed to know I was leaving and know that I was going to survive. Oh my dear friends, Samantha and Tucker, how I miss them, but it is better with out me there to have them in danger as they would be hunted like I am by the very people who were my family. I do miss my elder sister Jasmine, but I find her wondering the Ghost Zone from time to time with Johnny 13 and Kitty, I just can never go and speak to her as she cannot know I lived while she is died, for protecting me. It is just to cruel to do as I know how much she loved to live, how much she thrived in the Human Realm while I laid in the background most of the time until something went wrong and fingers were pointed at me.
April 15th Evening
Clockwork visited me, guess he remembered I was here. Now if I was more younger and rash, I would of kicked up a storm to let him remember I was here, but seeing as I have been here for a while, I learned that he will simply tune me out or use his powers to do that so he will not have to hear my whining. I would not have whined if I had someone visit more often so I can have their presence nearby even if we do not talk.
May 5th Morning
I cannot stand the thought of being alone like I have been, the deafening silence is unbearable as I wait for someone to come for me so I can do something in this tower, but it is only Clockwork, the Observants, Dan, sometimes Vladimir, and the frequent visitor Ghostwriter or, as he likes to be called, Adel that is Teutonic to mean Noble, as he has told me every time we see each other, that occupy the tower besides me. Everywhere else, besides my rooms and the clock tower, is empty and not open to me unless I am with someone that has authorization to be there, meaning that I can only leave and go somewhere when either Clockwork, or Dan is around. Every other time I am locked in my rooms and the clock tower to my thoughts and slowly driving into insanity as well as my dreams to where I wish to never wake up.
May 28th Afternoon
Some times, I wonder if I should of left my home in Amity Park. What is a life if isolation and solitude is all I have to look forward to? At least when I had a chance to die in Amity I would of either passed on or become a full ghost and not be in the cursed Halfa life that I was condemned to like Vladimir. The difference between me and Vladimir, though it is small and insignificant, is that while he can be happy alone or with a horde of people around him, I cannot stand being completely alone and I am terrified of crowds.
Though if I had stayed, what would of happened? Only Clockwork would know and he will not ever tell me as it's against the rules of time and space, but I just wished I knew if there was something to the knowledge of if I had stayed behind and sealed my fate to be either tormented or terminated.
June 7th Midday
667 days* is how long I've been here at the tower. Out of that 667 days, only 121 have I been out of my rooms and the clock tower or in contact with someone and not alone. Are they waiting for me to off myself or keep me safe for the people who cannot come into the Ghost Zone? It's maddening! A while ago I knew that my fate was this, but why this, this..., this caging of my being? Have I broke a code that only I do not know off and this is punishment for it? Why am I locked in this clock tower with only the window of the clock-face to see out into the Ghost zone and envy those who are free and feel the unending ache of this lonely solitude?
June 26th Evening
Adel has supplied me with reading material, but it only lasted a few hours before I had none. I had watched the ghosts through the clock-face, wishing to be out there again, to just be with people even if they are dead.
July 2nd Morning
Unlike my companions, I can't stand the unending solitude.
July 9th Noon
I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to leave so I can escape the solitude, but I always get dragged back by something that is not even my companions, it's infuriating! How did Dora deal with this for so long? How was she not driven to do something completely different just to escape this?
How am I supposed to keep going if I have no motivation or something help me to do so?
July 17th Morning
Oh how I wish to just sleep for eternity. You just dream and never have to be alone, you can do whatever and have no consequences for doing so and there, no one can hunt you, hurt you, abandon you or hate you.
It's your dreams that can only be your very last sort comfort.
~ Daniel "Danny" Fenton-Phantom
Me: Here's chapter one! Hope you liked it. I had a dabbling thought of Danny being revealed before Phantom Planet and something goes wrong an he has to leave. The journals are just to show the progression of how Danny is on some days that are somewhat close together. I can see Danny being a social person, but due to his parents occupation through out the show, it had rendered him to only Sam and Tucker being his only friends so being in solitude will drive him mad to the point of just giving up and not wanting to do anything if he is not around people. He is also mature about things when he is put into situations, in my mind anyway, and doesn't think the childish behavior would keep him going for long.
This is for DarkAngel048 who keeps pestering me, in a good way, enough to make me start something for you readers!
Um...last little note. The story isn't completely centered around Danny's solitude, it switches back and forth between characters that are in the tower and visit, minus the Observants, so yeah there will be more things going on then just Danny going insane and giving up.
Hope to hear from ya!
* Since Danny is in Clockwork's timeless cathedral, he is basing his time there off the Human Realm from a small portion of the clock tower being the control of the Human time frame.