Hello to fellow G. I. Joe fans! This is my first G. I. Joe fanfic, but not my first fanfic in general. If you have questions about any OC's that are in this story, their descriptions are on my profile. Hopefully all of you find my story fun and interesting enough to be classified as Joe worthy writing.

Chapter 1: Don't Worry About Explosions, They're Common Here

The Alpha Team was celebrating the joining of their newest members, Duke and Ripcord. However their celebration was interrupted by a loud explosion within The Pit. Jumping up, Duke and Ripcord prepared themselves for a battle.

"Guys! Why aren't you getting ready? We're being infiltrated!" shouted Duke.

"Relax, Duke, no one's breaking into The Pit. It was probably Haywire," Scarlett said while waving a dismissive hand. Breaker started to chuckle as Duke and Ripcord gave her identical looks of confusion.

"Haywire is our weapons maker. She tends to have a few explosions happen. We've gotten so used to it that we hardly notice them," Heavy duty replied as he chuckled and shook his head good naturedly.

"Hey, why don't we take care of two birds with one stone and take these two to check up on her?" Breaker suggested from his place on the couch in the rec room. After everyone agreed, they all started walking down one of the many hallways in the maze known as The Pit. Arriving in front of an innocent looking door, Ripcord read aloud the sign.

"The likelihood of you being in pain if you enter is higher than normal. What's that supposed to mean?" Ripcord asked just as the door opened to reveal a coughing girl with large goggles over her eyes.

"Stupid schizophrenic machines," said the girl between coughs. Seeing the many feet before her, she raised her goggled head to see who decided to visit her. "Well hey ya'll; what brings you down to the disaster zone?" she asked in cheerful voice while straightening herself out.

"Oh nothing, we just figured we'd introduce you to our newest members and have them see that you're the reason for the explosion," Scarlett said just as cheerfully. "This is Duke and Ripcord," she said while pointing out the respective owners of said names.

"Hey! It's a pleasure to meet you guys, I'm Haywire. I would hug you or something but I'm currently more of a mess then my lab," Haywire said while indicating her soot covered clothes.

"Um, hi. Are you alright?" Duke asked as he gave her a once over.

"Me? Oh yeah I'm perfectly fine. I'm just trying to deal with a schizophrenic machine, which by the way is a pain in the butt," Haywire said as she lifted the goggles off her eyes to reveal laughing blue eyes.

"Um how can a machine be a schizo?" Ripcord asked. Just after he finished his question, out came an out of control machine on wheels that was sparking all over the place. The newest members jumped out of the way, while the senior Alpha Team Members simply stared and laughed at the machine. Sighing, Haywire went back into her lab to retrieve a fire extinguisher. Coming back out, Haywire gave a bored look as she pulled the lever and sprayed the maniac machine till it was coated with a thick layer of foam.

"Snake Eyes, do me a favor, stab that thing with one of your swords. There is no way I can save that machine," Haywire said dejectedly while staring at the foam covered machine. Complying with Haywire's request, Snake Eyes took one of his swords and ran it through the top of the machine. With a few final beeps, the machine shut down completely.

"What were you working on Haywire?" Breaker asked as he kneeled down to swipe some of the extinguisher foam of the dead machine.

"I was trying to create a machine that would go and allow us to focus on the people while they took out the robots. However, I haven't been very successful so far. All of my previous attempts simply wouldn't work properly. I thought I had it with this one, but it went schizo so clearly he's far from a success," Haywire replied with a pout and a stomp of her foot. Shaking his head, Snake Eyes went behind her and started to poke her sides, making her jump and squeak. "Snake Eyes! Stop being mean to me," Haywire said while swatting at the ninja's arm. All the members started to laugh as Snake Eyes merely continued to tickle poor Haywire.

"So how often do explosions occur with you?" Duke asked once Snake Eyes let Haywire breath.

"Well if you listen to these guys it's all the time, but I only have one about every month," Haywire said as she tried to catch her breath. Shooting a glare at Snake Eyes, she motioned for the team to enter her lab. Giving concerned looks to one another, the team cautiously made their way into the disaster zone.

"Holy cow, woman! How many things are you working on?" Ripcord exclaimed while looking at all the pieces of technology that was in various stages of completion.

"Um, I normally average around 7 projects a month. But whenever I get a request from Alpha Team, their stuff is put on my priority list. Speaking of which, what do you and Duke prefer, weapon wise that is?" Haywire said to Ripcord.

"Can you make a jet?" Ripcord asked jokingly.

"Oh yeah sure, I can have a brand new one made for you in a couple weeks," Haywire said with complete seriousness.

"Uh, you're joking right?" Ripcord said shakingly.

"No, she's not, Ripcord," Heavy Duty said.

"Just give me a gun," Duke said while looking at a jar of liquid.

"Don't touch that!" Haywire panicked as she rushed over to take the jar from his hands.

"What is it?" Duke said while trying to get over his shock at her outburst.

"Think of it like crazy glue on steroids," Haywire said while placing it back on a littered work bench. Giving her a look of disbelief, Duke simply kept his hands to himself. Deciding that they spent enough of Haywire's time, Scarlett called all the members out of the lab.

"Thanks for coming by everyone! I'll have new toys next time you see me! And don't worry, Ripcord, I'll have your jet in no time!" Haywire shouted down the hallway.

"You do that, doll!" Ripcord shouted back while laughing.

"Don't call me doll! I'll have Snake Eyes beat you!" Haywire shouted back.