AN: And I present to you, the final instalment. I never intended this to be this long and I really felt this was a nice place to end it, so I'm sorry if it seems rushed. Also, sorry for the wait on this one, I went on a holiday :)
Thank you so much for reading, and please let me know what you think of this ending, I'd really appreciate it. (I'm looking at you silent people who have this on alert but have never said hello to me, haha). Enjoy!
Part Four – A Cupid Cookie
Once again, Blaine found himself sitting in the back seat of his car, wrapped in his warmest sweater, cell phone against his ear, tears in his eyes as he spoke to his boyfriend. It turned out that his car was the only place he could get away from the prying ears of his roommate and the curious looking of passers-by if he ended up yelling down his phone in the middle of a courtyard.
"We've been having this same conversation for weeks," he heard himself say, not even realizing he'd decided to say it, but knowing how very true it was.
"I know, but we never seem to come up with any sort of solution," Kurt replied.
Blaine remained quiet, desperately searching for something new or something that would make all their problems disappear.
"I miss the little things that come with being together," Kurt continued. "I miss shopping for cardigans with you, or just going for coffee."
"I miss being able to just reach over and play with your hair whenever I feel like it," Blaine carried on from Kurt's confession, as though he was merely continuing his own thought process.
"And I miss being able to scold you for that," Kurt said dryly. "I don't like my hair being touched."
"And I know you don't mind when it's me, and I miss being able to relish in that feeling, and being able to see that frustrated little smile you get when I do it anyway."
Both boys fell silent then; they were turning over what was being said in their minds, memories playing out before them, flittering through mental lists of each others quirks, and how much they relied on being able to experience those moments first hand. And that's when it all spiralled out of control.
"All we ever do is talk about how much we miss each other."
"You deserve better than this, Kurt."
"Don't be stupid, Blaine."
"I'm serious; you don't deserve to have your life put on hold like this. Or I should at least be able to handle this better so that we can make it work."
"I should have put in more effort too; it's not your fault."
"Are we really breaking up over the phone?"
"You think we're breaking up?"
"Well, what else are we doing?"
"And here are your menus," the waitress handed over the cards, smiling as she stepped back. "I'll be back in a few moments."
Kurt quietly thanked the young woman as she walked away, leaving the two of them alone. He looked across at his companion, smiling at the fact that they were back at this place again; a first date.
"It feels really good to be on a date with you again," Blaine murmured, practically grinning down at his menu.
"That's not surprising," Kurt looked down at his own menu, feigning nonchalance. "It is me you're on a date with, and I am amazing."
He winked to show that he was joking, barely able to contain a giggle at the scandalized look on Blaine's face. The pair dissolved into laughter and a casual banter that was only interrupted by the waitress returning to take their order and then again when she returned with their drinks and food.
Neither one could pinpoint what was so marvellous about the date, but it really was just simple. The conversation flowed easily, jokes were made and memories laughed about, both just truly enjoying each others company for the first time in what felt like years. It wasn't even entirely noticeable that they were avoiding the awkward topic of their break-up, the time they'd spent apart, or the particulars of what it meant that they were now back in each others lives.
That conversation became unavoidable however, after their meals had been cleared away and the waitress returned with their coffees.
"So you're drinking a drip coffee?" Blaine quirked an eyebrow at Kurt as he added sugar to his own.
"I drink it sometimes," Kurt blushed. "James says I order it when I'm sad, but I'm not in the slightest bit down right now, I think it has something to do with you."
"Who's James?" Blaine took a sip of a drink, trying to calm the nerves that had immediately erupted at the sound of another man's name; he wasn't the jealous type and he knew he didn't need to jump to conclusions.
"Oh, right," Kurt startled, not even realizing the name he'd let slip. "He is my ex, I guess. Um, he broke up with me because I obviously still have feelings for you; it all came out after that phone call."
"My stupid drunken phone call broke you up? Oh now I feel like a complete ass."
Kurt laughed. "I really wouldn't worry about it, he's a nice guy but we weren't together for too long and I never really felt enough for him, I suppose. And I'm pretty happy with how things have turned out, aren't you?"
He smiled hopefully across the table, searching the hazel eyes he found there for any indication that he'd just ruined things between them. Terrified, he mentally berated himself. You don't bring up other men on the first date, Hummel. You're a complete idiot.
But this was hardly their first date.
"I'm really happy with how things have turned out," Blaine smiled genuinely. "It's just weird to think about this time where we were apart and seeing other people."
"Did you see other people?" Kurt asked.
"I went on a few dates, but nothing serious." Blaine shrugged. "I've mainly been focusing on school."
Kurt was silent for a moment, taking a sip of his coffee, taking in the man in front of him. It was hard to believe that so much had happened between them, and that so much time had passed since they'd last been together in this capacity. They'd missed so much together and it saddened him greatly.
"I wish that whole breaking up thing hadn't happened." Kurt surprised even himself then. He hadn't meant to say it, but knew that he was being completely honest, and if there was anyone he could be completely honest with, it was Blaine. "And the way it happened was so stupid, I feel like we should have tried harder, I'm sorry."
Blaine reached across the small space between them, taking Kurt's hand in his own, lightly brushing his thumb over the back of the other man's hand. He took a moment to collect his thoughts and swallow his nerves.
"Kurt," he said. "Don't apologise. I know this is going to be difficult, and so much has changed, but it still feels so much the same. I think we need to just forget it all ever happened. Not disregard our past – I don't want to trivialise it – but we can move passed it."
He felt the stinging feeling in the corners of his eyes, and he paused to take a deep breath, willing himself not to cry.
"I still feel exactly the same about you; I don't think anything could ever change that."
Kurt nodded, squeezing the hand holding his, letting Blaine know that he felt the same way.
"I completely agree with you," Kurt said. "We've both grown up a lot since then and I think we can move forward, take things slowly and not mention that yucky period of time where we were apart, at least not till we've reached a point where we're completely comfortable with everything. It's obviously really important to both of us, and I think that'd be best."
"So we're giving this a real shot?" Blaine grinned.
"Well," Kurt smiled flirtatiously, taking Blaine's smile as an indication that they'd both had enough serious conversation. "I guess that depends on whether we'd call this 'first date' a success."
"A Medium Drip and a Grande Non-Fat Mocha for this guy, and maybe I can get him to split one of those cupid cookies."
"You know my coffee order?"
"Of course I do."
Kurt smirked at his boyfriend and raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him. The pair were out for a day of shopping and generally just enjoying the fact that that February 14th was one of the first days when they could step outside without fear of blizzard that they'd had all year. They'd quickly ducked into their favourite café, where Blaine had just ordered them a disgustingly sugary cupid cookie to go with their usual drinks.
"Is that a bit risky?" Kurt teased. "We've never been big on Valentine's Day, not since the Gap incident."
Blaine blushed and tucked his hands deep into the pocket of his jeans. "We're starting a fresh, we've discussed this. Why would you have to bring that day up?"
"We discussed forgetting the break-up, but I quite enjoy bringing up your misguided attempts to serenade Jeremiah, and his misguided attempts at a fashionable hair style."
"I can't believe you still remember his name." Blaine laughed.
"Of course I do, have to keep my competition in mind don't I?" Kurt gave Blaine a coy smile, bouncing up onto his toes as the barista called them forward to collect their coffees.
Kurt passed the Medium Drip over his shoulder to Blaine, smiling to himself about the small action, how familiar it all was and how nice it was to have it back. They'd been dating again for a couple of months, and it still hit him occasionally how much he'd missed moments like these.
"Just so you know," Blaine continued with the conversation, once they had both taken appreciative sips of their drinks and stepped outside into the mild New York air. "Jeremiah could never compete with you, no one could."
Kurt couldn't help but roll his eyes, linking an arm through Blaine's and leaning down to place his head on his shoulder as they began walking.
"Way to turn an amusing moment into total sap, Blaine Warbler." Kurt chuckled at his own use of the man's high school nickname, one that he evidently still couldn't shake.
"Oh, you love it."
"I love you."
It was the first time either had said those three words in a long time. They'd really meant it when they'd said they didn't want to rush things, and all though both men had been thinking it, feeling it, living it, both had been too fearful to actually speak the words, lest it all disappear again.
But Kurt said it; he said it as though it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world to say and he said it like he meant it.
Blaine halted their walking, turning to place his hand on Kurt's cheek, caressing it gently and looking deep into the sparkling blue eyes that he just couldn't get enough of. He was silent for a moment more, just taking in the man before him; the pale, perfect complexion, the passion in the eyes, the soft, pink lips. Both men broke out into a grin, delighted by the moment that was passing between them. Blaine leant forward, lightly tugging Kurt's face down to meet his and placing a tender, coffee flavoured kiss to his lips.
"I love you, too." Blaine murmured, as they pulled away, and began their walking once again.
Kurt raised his coffee cup to his mouth, savouring the flavour of his mocha and the warm, even pressure of Blaine's hand in his.