Title: Without You

Rating: K

Word count: 667

Summary: "Blaine went through the days barely living, barely surviving"

Authors notes: I don't even know what inspired this. The title is taken from the RENT song "Without You". Rates and Reviews are love.


Sometimes, just sometimes, if Blaine tried really, really hard, he could still feel Kurt in his arms. When Blaine was asleep he could sometimes still feel Kurt's body heat next to him, his breath on his neck and his long, pale legs tangled in Blaine's. If Blaine tried hard enough he could still hear Kurt singing as he was in the shower, his sweet voice filling the whole house.

When Blaine got up in the morning he would always take out two bowls for cereal, it would take a few moments for his brain to kick in before he slowly had to put one back. When he was at the grocery store he would buy enough for two, and then remember and have to put half of it back. Some morning Blaine would wake up from a particularly odd dream and want to tell Kurt, only to remember that he wasn't there.

He went through the days barely living, barely surviving. He would eat, breath, sleep, rinse and repeat. Some days were worse than others. But most days he just spent curled on the couch, drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness. A lot of the time he would wish, wish that Kurt were there with him, wish that he could still see Kurt's beautiful face, his eyes, his smile, his everything. He wished that he could hear Kurt's voice, hear it filling the house and his heart.

Blaine was numb, unfeeling, dead on the inside. He had been so ever since Kurt- ever since Kurt left. He would never feel Kurt's arms around on him again on feel his lips or hold his hand or do anything like that. He couldn't be with Kurt. He wanted to, he wanted to so, so badly, but he couldn't. As much as he wished and hoped and prayed, Kurt never came back.

Blaine didn't even register where he was until he found himself in a familiar grave yard. A lot of the time Blaine didn't even know where he was, until he turned up at this grave yard. He slowly weaved in between graves, until he reached one grave in particular.

Here lies Kurt Hummel

Beloved son, friend, husband.

The sunshine on a dark day.

1994-2019

Blaine slowly lowered himself onto the ground next to Kurt's grave. "Hey Kurt," his voice was soft, barely even a whisper. "I… I miss you." Blaine took a deep breath to steady his voice. "It's been just over three months now since you… since you've been gone. To be honest, I don't know how I made it this long. I miss you every day. I don't know what to do with myself." Tears were running down Blaine's cheeks, hot and fast. "I want you back Kurt, I want you here with me. I want my husband back, I want my best friend, I want the man who could make me laugh with a single look. I want you back in my arms Kurt. I want you beside me when I sleep. I just want… you." Blaine suppressed a sob.

He didn't know how long he spent at the grave, he never really kept track. When he got home it was dark. He slowly crept under the blankets on his- their - bed. He willed himself to go to sleep, to not wake up, to have Kurt back, in his arms. None of it worked, like always.

Blaine hadn't been with Kurt the night he died. Kurt was on his way back from work. Usually Kurt and Blaine walked home together from the train station, but Blaine had to work over time that night, of all nights. Kurt was jumped. He died on the scene. They never found the people who did it to me. Blaine cursed himself every day for not being there with Kurt, for not protecting Kurt.

Two months later, Blaine joined Kurt. Both of them wearing identical rings, next to each other. Together, forever.