Author's Note: Based on the ending scene of 5x05 Lucky Thirteen (again). I can't help it, that scene is the most tragically beautiful thing I've ever seen. Excuse me while I go sacrifice a mountain ox to Olivia Wilde and pray to her for an endless supply of awesome.


It all looks so beautiful. The lights in my apartment are just like angels, flickering playfully and laughing and inviting me to go with them. For a while, I think I can. I reach out for their soft wings, but they are too far away from me. Suddenly, something pulls me back down onto the bed. It's you; the single most gorgeous being I've ever seen. You, my blonde miracle. The angels seem to come closer when you're near and press your lips to mine. You taste like paradise, all I ever wanted or needed. Again I find myself right at heaven's door, and again you keep me from it, but I don't mind; in fact, I'm grateful, because my heaven is right here with you.

But when you pull away, you're different. "Allison?"

Something must be wrong. You're not supposed to be here. You never were. You were already up there.

You smile a comforting little smile and stroke my cheek. I lean into the touch. "Why are you doing this?" you ask, noticeably disheartened all of a sudden.

"Because I couldn't see you otherwise," I answer plainly. I have never received such a loving gaze from anyone. Then again, no one's eyes can possibly say more than those bright emeralds of yours. Only you can captivate me like this. Only you could ever stun me with your grace.

"I'm here now," you assure me and capture my lips softly again.

A tear escapes my eye, although I don't realize it and can't feel it running down my face; because somewhere deep down, behind the lights and the colors and the infinite vortex of shapes, I know that you are just an illusion, and that you were never here. Somewhere behind this drug-induced bliss, I know you're just another girl with the face of an angel.

The one thing I never wanted to know are the words relentlessly echoing in my mind as you make love to me tonight. I love you.