The Simpson's: In Space: Season 2:
Episode 1: War of Judgment: Part 1
"All are an acceptable sacrifice for victory, except personal honor, the honor of your comrades, and the soul."
The Holy Codex of The Eternal Vigil, Tome of The Wardens and Champions Duties: Chapter 1: Verse 1
I still remember the day I met them. I thought that may life would finally lead me to something other than pain and disappointment. But as I lay here, tossing and turning, I can only feel shame as to how naive I was in believing myself. In The Simpson's I saw hope, but in my own rashness and cowardice, I damned them to follow my path, and dragged them across the stars, and made them bare whiteness the worst aspects of the 51st century…
"Seraph? Seraph wake up!" I hear my name; I emerge from my nightmares panting in shock. "Seraph what's wrong?" I look to see the familiar face of Lisa Simpson… okay maybe not that familiar, her transformation into a Serp'feratu Ub-Viper did drastically change her from the 'homely implausibly intelligent yet self-righteous and nerve grating girl next door' that I was so used too. But I think I could recognize her by now.
"Yes, just a bad dream." I answered her, I tried to stand up from the cot in my room only to fall over. "Ow!" I exclaimed, only half-awake. "Lisa what time is it anyway?" I asked impatiently. "Its nine AM." She answered.
I looked at the chronometer on the wall, it was roughly 0900 hours. I looked out the window of my room, only to see the ruined landscape of Metropoli Major, once the crown jewel of the entire Karda-Sa'qum galaxy (or The Milky Way as the humans typically call it) now, just five days ago, the center of the entire universe has come under siege by The Somite Theocracy.
"Wait… shouldn't you be on patrol right now?" I asked her, realizing that her scouting duties began around this time. "Uh,… well you see-" "The scout fighters tried to shoot you down again didn't they?" I asked her, suspicious as to why she would try to shirk her duties, duties that were decided shortly after The UFO base was set up via drawing straws between me, her, her brother Bart, their Ap'etha-Mor's (romantic interests) and three stooges that have an annoying habit of behaving like The Mars Brothers.
"Look, it's not that I don't want but-"
"You weren't wearing the IFF transponder I gave you when the invasion started did you?" I asked her, irritated that she wasn't wearing something I made specifically for her protection. "No… I just don't know how to turn it on." She said, which was really annoying for me because I clearly put an on/off switch. I turned it on myself. "Now look at where my finger is," I pointed out to her, "this is where the switch is."
"Alright, alright," she said in annoyance, "I come to wake you up, and then you tell me what I have to do." She complained, in any other situation I'd agree with her, but this wasn't one of those situation so I didn't say a word as she left my room.
"Scala sviv'caar, diddarpa dry-ay." I said, quoting a Telkine proverb. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Or in this case it counts as Different sviv'varr, diddarpa dry-ay, or some variation." I said, remembering that, just five days ago, I was reborn into the land of the living as a droid. I was still getting used to seeing my obsidian form every morning, along with the glowing symmetrical lines that went up and down my body, that don't seem to serve any practical purpose. The only thing I was wearing that kept me decent we're wrappings across my breasts and pelvis.
I opened my footlocker, and put on a cloak that covered my entire body, along with a mask that distorted my voice and hid my identity. I also pulled out my Light Blade, and my Tech Gauntlet. I put my weapon in a pocket in my cloak, and I put my Tech Gauntlet unto my left hand. "Wars never end." I said, the voice modulator making my voice sound deep and mechanical. It isn't me, but then what is?
I went outside; the smell of burnt titanium still lingers in the air even after The Somites ships were pretty much annihilated by the combined might of both Telkine and human fleets. But for some reason the enemy have not sent for more reinforcements.
I looked around the base, soldiers and civilian refugees alike bore tired faces all. The skylines dotted with ships, were once skycars flew from place to place. Now the skies were all but quiet, save for the roar of starfighter and starship engines, and the sound of tank treads moving up and down the (hopefully) temporary base.
I went over to the central building, the HQ, and went inside. I found Daavas waiting in the hallway. "Why are you here?" I asked.
"The humans are tightening their patrols hopping to find either Ersa, or Anehta." He said bluntly. "As for why I'm here, your, your 'foster father' asked me for tactical advice on the matter." He said, putting obvious disdain on the word 'foster father'. Meaning Homer Simpson, considering Homer's manner to pretty much everyone I wouldn't blame Daavas.
"Has any progress been made?" I asked. "We're not getting anywhere! There are still large pockets of Somites, the only thing that ensures that we don't get overrun is the utter lack of enemy reinforcements." "I understand your frustrations Daavas." I said, trying to calm him down. "But we can't scour the entire undercity, The Fellowship has that covered in spades."
"No, Ersa needs to die at either your hands, or mine!" He said, I understand his frustration, but frankly after The Massacre of Ashla were I was kidnapped, trapped into some kind of virtual universe were I was pretty much subjected… to pretty much everything I wanted but could never have, then somehow being tasked by The Warden of The Dead Plains into bringing the tyrants of the universe to justices. Then had my vices and virtues split up for my companions to reassemble my personality, I've pretty much given up personally seeking retribution. "Listen Daavas, it doesn't matter whether or not we kill him." "Doesn't matt- ERSA MURDERED OUR PEOPLE!" I then slapped him hard across the face, angered that he would so easily misinterpret my words. "Ersa murdered dozens of races! Ours was lucky to have survived, and my ancestral reservation world was the first to fall! He will die this time, and there's nothing that'll stop it. Not this time."
Daavas left without a word, only a contempt filled scowl as he pushed Bart Simpson aside. "Who's got his blakar in a knot?" He asked, clumsily using Tasadorian profanity, he was wearing modified UFO (United Federation of Orion) standard Marine Armor. (Modified as in, refitted so that a sixteen year old could wear it without it looking big and clunky)
"He's just frustrated. We've been on this Rock for almost a full Terran week now, and the most we've done is evacuating civilians off world." I explained to him.
"Yeah the disenfranchised get all the breaks." I'd punch him for his patented 'hypocritically ironic statements', but that would probably kill him.
"I only hope that he isn't going off to do something TOO stupid and reckless." I mused out loud, but knowing Daavas as well as I did that was wasted effort. "Homer crazy? Or your former master crazy?" Bart asked me.
"If he doesn't reinvent stupidity in the process, I'll be happy." I answered
"Our noble Fellowship has weathered fiercer storms then this! Hold the line Turv you! Not one of you will embarrass The All-Father or The Emperor today by dying to these vermin!" Hmm… the zeal of Nun'ashan Syg-Nun Ein-he'rjar R'lyeh, as her leaf-thin swords cut through The Somite Legions reminds me of an old friend I used to know, a warrior from a time when honor and duty were simple virtues to follow.
You find an opponent who acts like crushing your head and the heads of your brethren are their birthrights, and then you kill it for its arrogance. Now, honor has been so perverted by losses, and so accustomed to complacency when there is no war. That the ignorant masses of heretics and the simply ignorant have misinterpreted the honorable as being over hyped lords of justice, and incompetent leaders, leaving those who actually remember true honor to do acts that force us to sacrifice it for some manner of greater good.
My name is Ormpha Tyana, son of Ormpha Xan-a'Zos, grandson of Ormpha Kalva-nor, and I… was reminiscing about myself actually. Yes, I was reminiscing the olden days in the middle of a battle. The battle that I orchestrated in order to destroy one of the most ruthless enemies to The Fellowship of Andu in recent memory, The Somites, blag'fadar offshoots of the vile human race.
I'm still amazed The Alliance listened to their turved mewling for mercy when they were laid low. Even after they exterminated so many worlds and species, and they wonder why so many aliens hate them. Two-hundred years ago I came within breathing distance of ending those murderers beasts. (The Somites, not humanity as a whole, but I'll get them when I get to them) "To the bowels of The Dark Lord go the wicked!" I shouted, as I rammed my blade through the abdomen of yet another Somite warrior that thought he could slay m, pathetic creatures, they and their forsaken forbearers.
"Lord Tyrana, we are done with our sweep of this district." Syg-Nun said, interrupting my train of thought. "All Somite's around this area have been eliminated, but we still have not found Ersa, or Anehta, but we will continue fighting across this world if it means killing them." She reported, I admit I did not think they would have come back. Even after two centuries of unwilling serfdom to The UFO.
Personally I like my plots better when I was pulling the strings, but considering the precautions I took with The FENRIS virus when this farce started last month, that the rest of the galaxy will see The Alliance for the weak and bureaucratically debilitated weasels that the lot of them were from the very beginning!
"Let me contact The Emperor, tell him that we've found yet another dead end." I ordered, under normal circumstances it would be a bad idea to report something like this to Aiur, but I for one have never been particularly afraid of that grey hided fool. "Aiur?… Aiur come in!" I said into my com unit, he had better not be ignoring me again. "Im-Perous Twilight Emperor Minas Aiur, we have still not found The Snaipmyloians!" I shouted.
"Funny…" Uttered the (oh I hate it when he acts like this, which is pretty much always) cryptic voice of The Emperor. "I and The Grey Vanguard have found both of them."
"WHAT! ALONE!" I shouted in panic, I mean Aiur's done some pretty turved reckless things over the decade. (Including one ill-fated experiment at Gra'toa were he demanded to fight Emperor Penguins astride Tapirs… and lost) But this… he hasn't done in at least seven-hundred and fifty years. "Don't be absurd kovar'cha… neither Ersa nor Anehta would be stupid enough to go anywhere without their honor guard."
That glory obsessed stooge, why we ever crowned him Emperor, or for that matter why we allowed him to reconstruct our entire political system overnight I don't even want to know. "Listen, whether you like it or not, I'm contacting reinforcements." "You wouldn't dare!" "By The All-Father I will! As surprising as this sound's, you're actually more useful to The Divine Charge a living fool then a dead idiot!" I lambasted him, why I haven't tried dethroning the poor blag'fader yet I'll never know.
Hello, I'm Bart Simpson and this is my story. I'm sixteen years old and currently on planet that gone to hell in every possible way. (And several that I probably didn't know about before now) I should probably start from the beginning.
In 2009, me and my sister Lisa started High School. (She managed to skip Junior High altogether due to her high grades) At the get go, Lisa pretty much became the most popular freshman on campus. Me?… I pretty much got the bum rush for the whole six hours PER DAY! FOR A WHOLE YEAR! VOLUNTARLY!
Then during the summer, (after mom told me that I couldn't get a transfer due to my less then stellar behavior from Kindergarten onward) I was visited by an angel (or something like that anyway) who told me that me, my family, and basically all of Springfield would be transported to the year five-thousand and nine.
And half an hour latter her words came true, I spent much of the two weeks Springfield trying to convince my family that the Chronosphere was transporting us to the future. (they didn't believe me until after we saw that giant ship fill the city with flying cameras however) Two weeks after we collected our wits, and Homer and Lisa got a new computer.
Wait, is that Lisa crying? Again? I walked over to her quarters and knocked. "GO AWAY!" She shouted, normally I wouldn't press her. But I may as well start being a better brother then I was. (I know that's out of character but I'm not the one writing this) So I opened the door anyway, all I found was a pair of wings covering her up as she was whimpering. "DON'T LOOK AT ME! I'M HIDEOUS!" She wailed, in any other circumstance I would agree with her. (in fact this is one of them) "Come on Lis, it can't be that bad."
"Wanna bet?" She squeaked out. "Come on," I insisted, "how bad could it be?"
"THIS bad!" She said, unfurling both of her wings. Could have sworn she didn't have an extra pair of arms, or for that matter a cobra's hood thing where her hair should be. Got to admit, I never thought my sister would ever look cool, at all… EVER.
"Whoa, that's got to be THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!" I thought, wait? Are my lips supposed to move when I think things like that? "The coolest? THE COOLEST!" She screamed. "I'm a monster! I suck blood in order to survive!" "That's why I suggest-"
"ALL THAT SYRUP DID WAS ROT MY TEETH! It was a nightmare just to get that gross taste out of my mouth." She went on, seriously even when she found out that all the friends she made when she started High School were just using her to get back at friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, and so on she didn't angst this much. But considering that she's pretty much betraying every other bit of left-wing rhetoric that she's dedicated her life too upholding, the least she could do is keep her voice down the entire base doesn't have to know about this.
"I-I can barely control myself when I see blood, and since we got here I've seen more of it than anyone my age should see." I knew I should have let her play video games with me. But we were kids, I thought it was strictly a guy thing, she wouldn't have liked the games anyway, and Mom probably would have killed if she learned that I was buying video games that Nelson stole from a local generic game trade store and was selling those on the playground.
"Ever since we arrived in the future, I've suffered being turned into a gorgon, a cyborg, and now THIS! Why can't the future just give me a break? Why can't I live a relatively normal life?" She went on, this is just stupid, and the girl turned fourteen last September. You'd think someone who's pretty much been treated like dirt her entire life by everyone (including me and Homer), and narrowly survived getting… let's just say that she nearly got an unnecessary bit of roughness from a very temperamental Scandinavian exchange student, and losing Snowball V would have made her realize that life isn't the utopian society that she, and every other idealistic smarty pants brat in the world wants it to be.
Before either of us could go on, I heard a familiar clacking noise coming down the hall. It was Thel Knara, my girlfriend, the love of my life, and the only person I've ever forgiven for taking pleasure in inflicting pain on me. (She enjoyed busting my nards when she thought I was cheating on her, but then she got remorseful when she realized when she was wrong… more so than most girls) I swear she's been wearing that armor since mid-November or around that time anyway.
"Pathetic whelp," she said bluntly in her usual stern but sweat voice, "from what you and your brother have told me. You've been through several variations of hell before this, and roughly two or three variations of heck as well."
"So tell me one simple truth. Did the two of you make up those stories to impress me? Or did any of them really happen? If it's the former, then you've been lying to me for the past four months. If it's the latter, then you're nothing short of a spineless coward." I can't believe she's ratting out my sister over this. That's my job!
"WHAT! Who are you to judge me?" She asked furiously.
"No one, but we are in the middle of a battle. And you were supposed to be on recon hours ago! Simply because you're afraid of turning into a bloodthirsty monster does not justify shirking your responsibilities!" She went on.
"Then you really don't understand what I'm going through, I've…" Lisa sounded choked up trying to get the words out of her mouth. "I've had to drink the blood of refuges just to survive!"
"WHAT!" Knara and I both stated in shock, I mean me doing something like this would be expected. (If I was a vampire, none sparkling preferable) But Lisa?
"Yes, I've been drinking civilian blood, but only the blood of the dying… oh who am I kidding? They all turned into Serp'feratu's anyway!" She went on.
"I'll ask were they are hiding latter." Said a familiarly robotic voice, and by robotic voice, I of course mean that stupid voice synthesizer that Seraph has been wearing since we made planet fall. "In the meantime, I've found our big break in this battle." She laid a futuristic laptop device on a desk.
"I intercepted this from The Fleet of Bittersweet Triumphs Fleetmaster." She said, she pressed a button on the laptop causing a fuzzy hologram of a Telkine in silver armor. "The audio is a bit off so bear with this." She wasn't kidding, that alien was just babbling in some kind of animal language. "Whoops! Forgot to engage the translation program." She then pressed another button that made the alien sound more coherent.
"-I repeat, The Emperor has found Ersa and Anehta, he is refusing reinforcements. But turv his stubbornness, all Fleets, with one fell swoop we will make what should have our finest hour those long years ago ours! Do not worry; this message has been encoded so that neither of the human forces can steal this from us."
"Not encoded enough." I commented. "Oh it was heavily encoded; it took at least thirty-five cyber-hours to decode."
"And how long would that be in real-time?" Lisa asked skeptically. "About five minutes or so, cyber time goes by much faster than real-time." Seraph answered. "In any case, I've already run my plan past Admiral Tanto and-"
"Wait, wait, wait." I interrupted? "Why are you telling us this?" "Um… well you see, Bethany said that I could recruit whoever I wanted to for this mission… aaaannnnd… well." Before she even said it, I knew what Seraph was talking about. Which given my general disinterest in what girls thought of was surprising.
Hello, my name is Homer Simpson. Today is the 12th of December of the year five-thousand and nine. I think the time is 10:42 or something like that, I am onboard my flagship, The Sinbad overlooking the planet Metropoli Major.
"HOMER!" I jolt back in my Captains chair at the sound of my sweat (yet often nagging and shrill) voice of my beloved wife Marge. "I just heard that our children have been given a suicide mission by the admiral!"
"What! I thought I told her that my children weren't supposed to go on anymore suicide missions!" Normally I would just sarcastically dismiss her, but considering that we were temporarily divorced for about a week after The Massacure of Ashla for bringing the kids along, and before that after she found out that it was my fault that Maggie died due to cleaners being left out in the open. I wasn't going to tempt her wrath. (at least not yet anyway) "Grunchy contact Admiral Tanto! I want to talk to her about my kids."
"When don't you want to talk to the admiral about your kids? Contacting her now." He said sarcastically as he began typing into his console. I swear ever since I met the guy I've been getting nothing but a mix of abuse and snide comments from that dwarfish alien. I don't care if he was a Vice-Duke but that doesn't justify him acting mean, even if he is fifty something years older than me. "This is Admiral Bethany Tanto of The UFONF Kat- oh no, Grunchy what does Homer and/or Marge want now?" Bethany said impatiently, if I didn't know any better I'd say she's starting to get wrinkles. "I believe he can explain things himself. Take it away sir!" Grunchy saluted mockingly.
"Um… well sir, it's just…" You'd think I'd be better at talking to this girl. But any women that owns a personally created samurai sword, and successfully beat me in a drinking contest without getting mildly buzzed is worth a degree of fear from me. "Oh for the love of- Bethany what possessed you to send my children on a suicide mission?"
"What are you talking about?" She asked with a confused look on her face. "You heard me! My Lisa called me a minute ago, and told me that Seraph had brought her, Bart, and several other people whose names I'm too angry to remember on, some kind of mission to kill some Ersala or someone."
"Good Lord, Homer do you mind explaining to me why you keep bringing your family to these assignments?" Bethany asked, I was beginning to wonder that myself, even if this is only the second time. "There's a security leak each and every time an- why is she here anyhow?" She said pointing at Marge. "Anyhow, I'll have to contact Seraph. This is Admiral Bethany Tanto contacting Seraph Ashla, do you come in?" I have no idea if she was just talking to herself or if she was really calling Seraph. But I couldn't make out a word on Seraphs end. "Yes, Seraph could you give me a rundown of your squad? Lieutenant Tyler-700 and he's piloting an experimental Abaddon-class Battle Tank, your droid bodyguard EMIR-12, the imitation Mars Brothers." (Meaning Aon's son Tsarit-something and his two friends)
"Listen, I know this may sound really, really stupid right now. But are Bart and Lisa with you? Yes Marge did ask about them. Yes Lisa sent a message to her. Yes I'm only doing this so that I can avoid ANOTHER verbal lashing from Marge." Marge gave off her typical "Hmm…" whenever she was annoyed. "Yes, well you went all the way to Mimban IV and became a Templar just to get away from her, and a handful of irritating high school classmates so don't go calling me a coward!"
"Bad move! Bad move!" I tried whispering to her. "I understand that you don't want to abort the mission. But we'll both get a tongue lashing from her if either of her children gets killed. Not necessarily, but I like the cut of Bart's jib. And aside from having to regularly drink blood in order to survive, and being a bleeding heart liberal in the worst sense of the term Lisa's a sweat kid… on a good day." It's true, Bart has been better behaved these days, I almost never have to strangle him. Just hit over the head when screws up.
Lisa on the other, oh boy this future has tough on her. First she got turned into a Gorgon and we had to go to Telchine for a week, (and I didn't even notice that until we got back to earth) don't get me wrong it was a nice planet… just the restaurants were too weird for my tastes. Then during and after Ashla she was gradually turning into a demented cyborg, up until then I thought human/robots were a good thing. But seeing your own daughter rant about… I can't really remember what she was babbling but boy that was not worth it! And this vampiric snake thing isn't helping either.
"Wait did you say you gave Bart a Goliath walk- WHAT THE!" Bethany shouted, why does that women keep randomly interrupting my train of thought? It's hard enough to get a coherent thought into my… wait what's that big red dot on the planet? "Uh… Grunchy? What's that big red dot on the planet?"
"Uh… according to these readings, that's Gol-Gor Oth!" I thought he was dead! "I thought he was dead!"
"Seraph what is going on?" I shouted at Seraph, as a large, magma-like entity suddenly emerged from the cityscape, nearly toppling the tank that we were riding on. "Apparently we found out what else The Federation sent into the system along with The EMP device."
"They sent in a huge monster?" My brother Bart asked. "Can't say for certain, our mission is to assassinate Ersa and Anehta not slay that thing." Seraph responded in her mechanically distorted voice. Why that alien is even wearing that mask I have no idea, nor for that matter will she even tell me.
"But shouldn't we at-"
"Look if you didn't want to come on this all you had to do was say 'no'." Seraph interrupted. "But here you are questioning orders at whim!" The only real reason I went along with this was so I could keep an eye on Seth. Poor guy, he's been beating himself up ever since Kobra Minor. I've known that people tend to do brash things under pressure. But what happened to his mother… I think I liked him better when he was just awkward and paranoid, not the bitter wreck the last week has made him into.
"Lieutenant, what is our ETA to our destination?" Seraph asked the tanks pilot. "Assuming we don't hit any major snags, we should be there in about five minutes. About enough time to see Minas Aiur get his clock cleaned by-"
All of a sudden a silver crab like walker burst out of a wall that almost knocked us off of the tank. (I still don't know why we were on the outside. There was a troop carrier in that thing for crying out loud!) "TAL'DAR-SIGMAR OFF OUR REAR!" Shouted Tyler-700 over the radio, we all rushed inside of the transport compartment. (Which I suggested going into in the first place) But the smell of fish inside didn't really help. "What… what was that!"
"That was a Tal'dar-Sigmar Tomb Walker." Seth answered me. "It's basically a heavily wound Telkine grafted into a large walker that basically serves as a mobile weapons battery."
"Boy you don't know the half of it." Said Tsaritsyn, "My Ep-Maiam'sire was the first one! She was severally wounded during the early stages of The War of Stagnation and, well my Garud'ashan wasn't one to let loved ones go without a fight."
"Mirud'ashan? Sigmar slow down! We've been separated from our Battle Pack!" I shouted over the sound of all six of her legs trampled through the deserted boulevards, and the distant but loud sounds of explosions and gunfire, along with the droning noises of starships and a nearby tanks treads. As I and my stu'ven Zaar Lrack
"I'm well aware of that Andúril!" My mother yelled back. "Why are you and your stuven even here? You were with Aon's fleet!" True that, but after Tyrana declared that all Fellowship Legions would assist The Emperor in slaying Ersa and his sister there wasn't any time to properly manage logistics between over seventy-five hundred-thousand warriors, and roughly 100,000 different types of heavy ordinance and vehicles and flyers. Plus a Blood Leviathan emerging from The Undercity for no apparent reason really bad-acked this up.
"That isn't important! Shep'Maaas we are still on course, assuming that tank doesn't get destroyed that is." My stuven commented, he did have a point. Though I couldn't really make out if was a Confederate or Federation tank. (virtually all human art looks the same to me)
"…-ify yourself. I repeat, this is FMC-070171 Abaddon-P. Identify yourself Fellowship walker now." Said an irritated voice over my Vaa'Spee unit, seriously why do humans keep trying to sound tough and intimidating whether a situation would warrant it or not-… wait?… is that tank barrel aiming at us? This brings back some very (physically) painful memories.
I am the shadow. I am Daavas Majick, son of Wenik'a Majick. I cling to the ceiling, looking as two false gods meet their doom.
"This is your end! Your names will live on as the first to die for good among your misbegotten kind!" Shouted Minas Aiur at the top of his lungs, as he deflected blows from the blades of both Ersa, and Anehta. Seraph, my Parl'vas said that they're deaths would be of no importance if she or I slew them. A descendent of The Goddess Tano Shilroth, refusing to take vengeance upon those who laid our people low is not only an insult to the fallen! But an affront to her lineage!
I was to busy thinking to really notice Aiur fighting the two Somite 'deities'. His bodyguards were fighting the two gods honor guards keeping them off of his back. Considering that I did make her go through Ko'trun-Ackara I wouldn't blame her for affronting me personally. After all, given the chance she'd destroy this entire galaxy if… oh I don't know. If Zaar ate all the fish in the school cafeteria. (which he did do once, but that was after she left)
But it was of little matter, from what little I have been paying attention to. Aiur is holding steadfast, but his defense his starting to buckle. If he wins, he'll regain the honor that was denied of him during The Somite Wars, If he is slain, I will make my strike. And slay the two without either pity, or remorse. Either way… two gods will die this day, whether by my hands, or not.