I don't own the facts of life

A very noisy night

Season 8

(Jo and Blair are in their room sleeping; Blair wakes up when she hears a loud noise then gets up and walks over to Jo's bed and sits on the side of her bed)

Blair – Jo, Jo

(Blair shakes Jo)

Blair – Jo wake up!

Jo – what is it Blair

(Jo says sleepily)

Blair – I heard a noise

Jo – it's probably just your imagination Blair, go back to sleep

Blair – no Jo I swear I heard it

Jo – Blair please I'm tired

Blair – okay Jo I guess I'll be tossing and sighing all night long

(Blair starts sighing)

Jo – okay Blair I'm go check

(Jo says irritated, Blair smiles)

Blair - great!

(Blair and Jo get off the bed; walk down the stairs then walks over to the door)

Blair – wait

Jo – what!

(Jo says annoyed)

Blair – you should grab something just in case you have to knock the person out

(Jo rolls her eyes and walks up the stairs and near her bed and grabs a bat then walks back down the stairs over to Blair)

Jo – okay let's go

(Jo opens the door and holds the bat up in her hands ready to hit someone Blair is following close behind holding Jo bottom of her shirt where four buttons are unbutton so you could see Jo's stomach, they walk down the stairs, Jo stops and looks around when she gets to the floor which causes Blair to stop)

Blair – what is it?

Jo – nothing just looking around

(Jo says not looking at her, they hear a loud noise)

Blair – see I told you I heard a noise

Jo – all right… it sounds like its coming from the store

(Jo says still not looking at Blair they walk in the store Blair lets go of Jo shirt when she see a person behind the counter, Jo walks up to the counter about to hit the person but the person turns around and screams)

Jo – Tootie! What the hell are ya down here!

(Jo leans the bat on the counter, Blair turns on the light)

Tootie – I just got back from my date

Jo – see Blair it was just Tootie

Blair – thank god… where's Natalie wasn't she with you

(Blair walks over to Jo and Tootie)

Tootie – yeah but snake never showed up so she decide to wait at the movies a little longer

Jo – great… can I go back to bed now?

Blair – fine

(They hear another loud noise come from the kitchen)

Tootie – what's that?

Blair – see I knew it wasn't Tootie

(Jo rolls her eyes)

Jo – Blair how could ya known it wasn't Tootie

Blair - we Warner have a since of alarm in our brain we know when there's danger

Jo – oh I thought you Warner's didn't have a brain

(Jo says giving Blair a dead pan look; Blair gives Jo a very funny look)

Tootie – let's not panic it could be Beverly Ann or something

Jo – Tootie's right let's check it out

(Jo picks up the bat and holds it up again, Blair goes behind Jo and holds Jo's bottom of her shirt again so you could see her stomach, Tootie walks close behind Blair then they walk in the kitchen)

Jo – Blair will ya let go of my shirt huh

(Blair ignores Jo and pulls her shirt tighter and moves closer to her, Tootie points to someone in the refrigerator. Jo turns around and puts her finger to her mouth to symbol them to be quiet then walks slowly to the refrigerator while Blair and Tootie follow close behind her, Jo is about to hit the person but the person closes the refrigerator door and looks at her and screams)

Jo – Nat! Does nobody turn on the lights anymore?

(Jo puts the bat down in her hands then looks back at Blair and Tootie, Blair lets go of Jo's shirt and turns on the light)

Tootie - when did you come in?

Natalie – a second ago, I came in the front door I wanted to get somethin to eat… what the hell are you guys doing anyway you could have killed me

Jo – blame Blair she's the one who thinks there's a stranger in the house

Blair – sorry Nat

(They hear another loud noise come from the living room)

Blair – there it is again

Jo – I'm goin to bed

(Blair walks over to Jo)

Blair – Jo you can't what if it's a rapist

Jo – Blair this is stupid it's probably just Beverly Ann or something

Blair – Tootie said that last time and it was Nat

Jo – so Nat's not a rapist

Blair – Jo come on we have to stick together

(Jo rolls her eyes)

Jo – fine but I'm not holding this stupid bat no more

(Natalie grabs the bat from Jo's hand)

Natalie – ooo I'll hold it I always wanted to knock somebody out with a bat

(They all look crazy at her)

Natalie – I'm a writer we have to experience life

(They walk in the living room quietly but Jo walks ahead of them then looks around the living room)

Jo – see guys there's no one here

(Jo looks back to see no one is behind her)

Jo – guys, guys! Okay very funny guys… you can come out now… Blair, Tootie, Natalie

(The noise is now coming from the closet and gets louder)

Jo – I'm serious guys this isn't funny… guys

(The noise gets louder)

Jo – okay Jo calm down you ain't scared of anything… just go to the closet and open it… this would be a good time to have that bat

(Jo walks slowly to the closet then slowly turns the door knob but she feels hands behind her and jumps away from the closet door and screams)

Blair – gotcha!

(Tootie, Blair and Natalie start laughing)

(Jo looks confused)

Jo – what!

Blair – I set the whole thing up, Tootie just helped out

(Blair says smiling)

Tootie – I know, I know you didn't suspect a thing didn't you, I'm a good actress

(Tootie says very proudly and smiles)

Natalie – I didn't know a thing they didn't tell me

(Jo looks angry and says angrily)

Jo – then why were ya in the kitchen huh?

Natalie – I was hungry

Tootie – I knew she would go in the kitchen and get a snack she gets one every time she gets home late

Natalie – I like to snack

Jo – okay but what about the damn noise huh

(Blair smiles and opens the closet door)

Jo – Beverly Ann!

(Beverly Ann walks out of the closet and over to Jo and puts her hands on her shoulders)

Beverly Ann – it's a lot of work making noise in this house while making sure nobody see you… well good night girls I'm going to bed

(She takes her hands off of Jo shoulders)

Natalie – I'm with you, night guys

(They walk upstairs; Jo walks over to Blair and Tootie who are laughing)

Jo – Blair why the hell did you do this for

(Jo says angrily)

Blair – remember last week when you said you never get scared well I decided to see if that were true and obviously it's not

(Blair looks at Tootie and they start laughing)

Jo – I'm gonna kill ya Blair

Blair – admit it Polniazcek I gotcha good

Tootie – yeah real good, night guys

(Tootie walks upstairs laughing; Blair has a well look on her face)

Jo – alright I admit it Blair Warner got Jo Polniazcek you happy now

(Blair pulls out a tape record out of her pocket)

Blair – yup!

(Blair laughs evilly then walks upstairs, Jo follows her)

Jo – oh come on Blair you ain't gonna use that against me

Blair – yup! Black mail for the next time you don't do what I say I'm gonna use this against you

(Blair continues to laugh evilly)

Jo – come on Blair let's talk about this

The End